Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.
“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”
Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of our blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Marc and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us struggle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.
If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for a quick wake-up call and story about life:
We all have a few cracks.
Once upon a time there was an elderly woman who needed to walk down to the river every morning to fetch water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. She carried two buckets with her, filled them up at the riverbank, and walked back with them to her rural cottage home.
One of the buckets was newer, perfectly sealed, and held its water flawlessly. But the second bucket was older and contained a few thin cracks that would leak water onto the ground as the elderly woman walked. By the time she arrived home, typically about one third of the water in the second bucket had leaked through its cracks.
One day, on the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket — who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”
The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”
Remember:
Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!
But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?
Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?
Let this be your wake-up call!
Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket — choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough — and your whole universe will shift!
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel less than “good enough.” If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, house, and so forth by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re flawed — cracked! Again, Marc and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our clients, our students, and our readers/subscribers on a daily basis, and we aren’t immune either. Feeling good enough takes practice.
It’s time to practice!
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this short story/essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Anna says
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful parable. The timing on this spot on for me. As I read this, I feel my shoulders lowering, my jaw less clenched and a taking a deep breath. I’ve been feeling less than for a few months, especially after a few blows personally and professionally that have left me feeling unworthy. Thank you Marc and Angel, for the wonderful encouragement.
Anna says
I am also an Anna, and while I didn’t write this, I could have, nearly word for word. Hugs to you, other Anna.
Amber Nicole Keenum says
Thank you’ll I Greatly appreciate, reading your words of encouragement. ? ? ??
Rogel says
Your words of encouragement touched my soul today, looking forward to more of them. I’m struggling right now so please keep writing. Have a blessed day.
Amit says
Love this story and lesson. It’s so easy to make our opinions and self-judgments based on what we see from one angle, and miss the larger purpose.
Stephanie says
The parable of the cracks in the old bucket ring true. During my 75 years of being blown by the winds of Life I have finally accepted the many cracks in my being. Almost everyday I read passages from 1000 + Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. This parable fits right in there with the wisdom, honesty and kindness in your book. The picture of the flowers and path speak volumes. Thank you, Marc and Angel.
Lori says
I am glad you have accepted the “cracks” in your life. I have only accepted about half of mine. Thanks for the encouraging message.
Imelda Terry says
Thank you for this story today.
My favorite line from a Leonard Cohen song addresses this feeling beautifully…
“Ring the bells you still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”
Margriet Dekker says
I also love this line!
SK Varma says
Thanks for sharing this parable.
Earlier, I used to blame myself for not doing enough for the day.
Thanks for sharing this.
Hona says
Thank you!
Monica Moser says
I felt the story. My morning is always a not good enough thought. So reading other people’s comments is kind.
John says
This story kinda reminds me of The Velveteen Rabbit tale. Until you’re all roughed up and worn a bit you are not real. I’ll be honest, with you. Being real is hard some days. It’s “why cant I be like everyone else?” But then I’ve found I am like everyone else. I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have to work with. My flowers along the path look different than your but we both grow beautiful flowers because we’re both beautiful people.
My bucket has lots of cracks in it and is even patched in a few spots, but it’s mine! All mine.
Shelley says
Thank you for the wonderful story..I’ve been feeling sad, and bad about myself lately..I’m grieving my mom, but have also lost some friends in the past couple years that I’m ruminating about..I don’t understand what happened between us.
I know I need to put it behind me, but it bothers me..I don’t know what I did wrong. I know a lot of friendships don’t last forever.
Anyway, there are a lot of other “flowers” still in my life – many I have planted over the years – and I want to appreciate them more.
SHELLEY MURRAY says
Wow, Shelley. I am also Shelley. I have read this more than once. It is just the way I have been feeling lately. Thank you for being brave enough to share part of your journey. I know every day is a new start but the past creeps in when I least expect it. Takes work and prayer to accept what is. Thanks again for your input.
Kris Siliani says
Wow you hit it on the nail! Same here.
Nancy says
I enjoy reading your articles as they are very inspiring. I have never commented on here because I’ve always felt that I can’t express my words as well as others do on this site. Anyway, I just want to say that I feel “good enough” (cracks and all) and I’m going to remind myself of this daily.
Thank you for another wonderful and inspiring story.
-Nancy
Ernestine says
Thank you for sharing this.
S says
Yes, thank you!
Vivekanandam K.M.G. says
It takes courage to accept the cracks in life. There is a saying, look at the glass as ‘half full’ instead of ‘half empty’. Your article gives me a positive and new outlook on life. Brings a big smile and a good perspective. Thanks.
Grace Mwendapole says
Thanks for sharing, we are good enought despite the cracks. Some time it hard to see the flowers along the path of difficult time but there is always a ray of shine shine
gretchen says
Ha! Because of wild synchronicity I just returned from a weekend 1,812 miles from home. I paid a lot to get a last-minute flight and a rental cottage a block from the ocean, but I don’t regret it for one second. It ended up costing way, way more than I’d ever consider spending for a weekend – but the soul work was priceless. Your post today is another beautiful “coincidence” that reminds me that yes, we are worthy. I am worthy of the trip.
David Cleroux says
This is my new phone again. The essay is beautiful and inspiring, and portrays my life I hope, trying to do the best possible with leaks and all. I pray that the magic painter has been able to paint a pretty picture with mine. Thanks and hugs.
Nidhi says
Nice one! Pushes one to find a deeper meaning.
Jennifer Jones says
This strikes a chord with me today – half an hour ago I got a rejection letter from an employer I *really* wanted to work for. I am disheartened because the HR person recommended I apply when I wasn’t selected for another position there. I feel my career is “cracked.” Trying to move on – upwards and onwards.
Cathie Books says
Vulnerability is something I verb on my life’s journey and is a daily challenge. It also fuels my perspective to prioritize self care and live with humble appreciation and kindness toward and for everything and everyone. Thank you.
Betty says
There’s a song on a Christian radio station that addresses being “stuck” in the consequences of a crack(s) — a person cries out to God in prayer and asks “God, why are you keeping me here?” The Lord answers that he is like a watering can (analogy to her tears) and she is a “seed” that he will cause to grow bc, as He says in Scripture, “I have a plan for you.” This may help some believers.
Important to remember that a “crack/cracks” refers to a break of some sort only — it does not refer to a complete division into parts. It is a physical or mental impairment, a defect, and it simply causes a change or two or more — but people are fairly good at adjusting and adapting to their circumstances. The most negative aspect of a “crack” may be that it can open someone up to vulnerabilities or whatever unsavory people might do. The dictionary offers hope here if one takes its advice: “To discover the solution to, especially after much effort.”
[Webster’s Dictionary, 1984]
Clive Overett says
I’m sorry mate but this the worst analogy probably ever. It’s so unrelatable. I think you’ve dropped the ball and I know you can do so much better.
Haters gonna hate, or just a concerned citizen.
Puli Purushotham reddy says
Why so brother?
Madhuri says
Thank you for the story, I really need this now, this helps me breathe!!!
Puli Purushotham reddy says
Very good sis.
Vivian says
“This really resonated with me. It’s such a beautiful reminder that even our imperfections serve a purpose. Sometimes the very ‘cracks’ we try to hide are what make us unique, valuable, and even helpful to others.” Thank you for sharing this – it’s a lesson I needed today.
Gail says
What a beautiful way of looking at life. I now look at myself and my cracks in a wonderful, grateful way.
Gail Parker says
What a beautiful way of looking at life. I now look at myself and my cracks in a wonderful, grateful way.
Paula Marie campbell says
A beautiful essay! What a beautiful way of explaining the cracks. Heart-felt thanks for sharing. It has helped me a lot today. Paula xx
Mike says
I recently had truly wonderful family member die, who we all cared for over 20 years after a motor bike accident. He was truly an example to the fact the joy of life is found what is actually going on minute by minute as we live it and not the construct in our heads of what life or we should be, influenced by all the messages we receive from the outside world around us and unreliable self talk. As you age and can join the dots up, you see that in all its raw, unfiltered, messy exciting,beautiful, painful, crazy way, the beauty of life is just what it is and so are we! Thats is! We are all enough just because we are unique and living human beings!
Mahesh Ram says
Simple – practical – close to the heart
Ame Kane-Barkley says
I absolutely needed this!
Katherine says
This is beautiful.