You have come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things today.
For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather said he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”
That was a huge wake-up call for me — one that has served me well for over two decades now.
And here are eight wake-up calls for all of us to reflect on today — some important lessons worth learning and living by, before it’s too late:
1. We might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”
About 15 years ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident on the way to work. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.
I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. There might not be a tomorrow. Today is the day to express your love and admiration. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
2. Our judgments of others are often inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is. When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your own limited perspective.
Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy. Many people you think have it easy have worked their tail off to achieve their status. Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions. Many people who appear to be too old and uncool were once every bit as young, hip, and inexperienced as you are right now.
3. Not trying is why most people fail in the long run.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about the most, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt the worst. Trying — truly trying — always leads to some level of success, regardless of the outcome. Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time. Every outcome, good or bad, is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser over time.
So keep reminding yourself that in the end there’s only one thing that makes a goal or dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. Because the results you achieve in life are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently!
Yes, your life will get better when YOU get better. Start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day by building positive daily habits and sticking to them. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.
4. Patience doesn’t mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity. It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.
Patience is the realization that the quality of your life in the long run is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with today. Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you gradually work hard for the dreams and goals that matter most to you.
5. Most of us don’t need to buy anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences, and meaningful work are the staples of a happy life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want.
And at a certain point, the excessive material objects you buy end up hurting the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have? (Read “Soulful Simplicity”.)
6. None of us are perfect.
All humans are imperfect. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard. We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes. Yes, sometimes the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.
But that’s honestly the worst of it — we all have our moments. Most of the time we are remarkable! So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the remarkable moments either.
7. All the little things make a big difference in the end.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there — the blood, sweat, and tears — the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end — every step, every regret, every decision, and every little affliction.
Yes, the seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent laughing and socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing down your thoughts on social media posts no one ever read. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and Twitter threads and fashion tips and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are…
All of this has strengthened you! All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
Truth be told, you’ve been broken down dozens of times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you have come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!
8. Excuses are mostly just lies.
Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? Because you’re not good enough, or you’ve already missed your chance, or it’s just not in the cards for you. You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t…
- “Maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur and freelance writer because he has no kids.”
- “Maybe she’s way fitter than I am because she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a more supportive spouse, or doesn’t have bad knees.”
OK fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway. Angel and I have a family, and have coped with significant loss in our lives, and still managed to make meaningful progress in our lives. And just as we’ve turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who’ve done the same. Through 15 years of work with our coaching clients and live event attendees, we’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year olds starting healthy families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth. And stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve incredible outcomes.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. NOW is the moment to actually step forward!
It’s your turn…
Starting now, I sincerely hope you will have an inspired rest of your day today, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because Angel and I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Evelyn Serafin says
Your post is basically an affirmation of my 71 years alive. Great summary of some key lessons I’ve learned along the way. Thank you so much! I’ll be sharing these words with others too.
Jan Allan says
Marc and Angel, your words today made me think that I don’t tell my sons often enough that I love them. I’m learning to tell my husband & show him with kindness & affection how important he is in my life. Instead of just thinking about friends I actually need to contact them. This hit home to me when my best friend died 3 years ago… when I felt a huge hole in my life as we saw & spoke to each other weekly & we could tell each other everything warts & all. I need to tell the people in my life that I care about them & love them more often.
Bill Tilton says
Thanks guys. We’re having one of those days over here already…
I’m 66 and would think I’d have this figured out. However as we journey together I find I’m still often like an infant with baggage. Thanks for your site. -Bill T
Rebecca DiCorte says
I’m 64 and I feel the same way.
Faye says
Hey I am 80 and it’s sincerely great to see you all get it … high fives to all.
Karen W. Snyder says
I read over the 8 wake-up calls just now and each one made me think of different times and circumstances in my 81 years of life. The last couple of years many people, friends and relatives have reached out to thank me for something I had done for them. Some things I did remember and some things were small and I did not remember. The thing was that no matter the size they remembered and it helped them at that time in their life. The small things didn’t cost or take much to do and the big things, at that time in my life, I either had the time or finances to be able to help. When someone tells you the impact your kindness made, you then know that your own life was worth living, the circumstances you went through. I like this article immensely and plan on using it with my great grandsons. Life changes but somehow still stays the same. The basics in being a caring person and wanting to grow are up to you. This is a good reminder and a great guide no matter the age. Today we should just share this article with at least one person. Thank you.
Sharon Schroeder says
Did you ever get tired of doing the little things? I have lived a nomadic life (military daughter and wife). I was always writing (before cell phones and FaceBook). Remembering birthdays and actively keeping in touch. I was repaid by no one telling me my Grandmother had died. I was absolutely crushed.
Karol Kirkland says
So sorry that happened to you, please try not to take it personally, it is a reflection on them, NOT YOU. Peace be with you.
cg says
I agree it very likely is NOT personal .
People/families /caregivers seem more overwhelmed and exhausted than ever but there’s no excuse to forget even the basic family duty to inform everyone about a loved ones /a grandmother’s death. It seems harsh & given that you’re nomadic – the spouse and daughter of military . Thank you for your sacrifices as a spouse and daughter of someone serving in the armed forces. May you find comfort in your past memories of your positive & loving times with your grandmother. May she rest in peace and may you forgive your family ; I agree with others that it’s likely an oversight and you should not take it personally
Ginela says
Hi Marc and Angel,
I’ve been a follower for more than a decade now. I was still in college when I first learned about your website (it was only just starting then), and now I am a 30-something single mom of 2. I’ve been a ‘silent’ follower, never commenting on your posts but today felt like I should especially after reading a comment before me that mentions following your blog for a similar length of time.
If I may just say: Marc (and Angel too), the growth in life that you show through your writings has been exponential. More grounded than ever and immensely powerful. I was blown away by this post. Especially #6.
I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you for doing what you do. For never giving up on the website.
Many times over the years I have used your website as a guide traversing life, as an anchor to hold on to when I felt lost and lonely (I still love and hold on to Jesus, but I was praying for guidance and it let me to your posts mostly), and lastly as a friend who shares the same ideals, values and who truly understand that the life lessons above can only be learned through conquering afflictions.
I am struggling with so many things and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, but today I woke up with this post and read it and it made me remember all the things I’ve been through whilst relying on your posts for support. I was alone, but never felt lonely.
I am grateful that you and Angel have reached more people and have become life guides brimming with wisdom, compassion, strength and love.
Please continue doing what you do. You are helping far more than you know.
Love you guys. Thank you for the well wishes in every post, thank you for everything in this post. I love them.
Warmly,
Ginela
Donna Kay Garrison says
Your comment was exceptional! You are obviously a very intelligent, thoughtful and loving woman.
I, too, have found comfort in Marc’s and Angel’s posts. At 72 years old, I am beginning on a new spiritual path, and find their words of wisdom inspirational.
Best wishes on your journey through this life!
Karol Kirkland says
Beautifully put!
Sanchari Mukherjee says
My children have been a great source of inspiration. With the arrival of each child especially after the arrival of my daughter I have evolved more and more as a mother.
Your article here is just an extra push in my path of evolution, though with three children life seems to be challenging but life has enlightening me as I am on my journey of self discovery.
Thank you for these reminders and lessons.
Maureen says
This one made me realize that like my late father used to say “time and tide waits for no one” so one should appreciate every precious moment. I’ve had a wonderful husband who moved on to a higher calling a year ago and how I miss him terribly. Younger people should cherish the precious moments because in our golden years it’s not easy to start all over again as time might not afford us another opportunity. We’ll they say 70’s are the new 50’s so let’s utilize time we’ve got left.
Margaret Lahde says
Thanks for words that hit home for me. I’m 74 years old, in good health for my age. Have lost my husband in 2023 and my stepson last August of 2024. I was caregiver for both of them. That’s more than you want to know about me. But I mentioned that because I now live alone and have to deliberately talk to myself into thinking optimistically, else my mind tends to think negatively. Your article is extremely helpful in a subtle yet honest way. Thank you.
K says
This resonates with me today more than ever as I just found out one of my close friends for over 35 yrs just suddenly passed away. I had just talked to her two weeks ago. I am currently in the process of a big move and we had just talked about her visiting us this coming fall. I always try to pass along to others that life is short, be excellent to each other. But I’m still shocked!
Thank you for the emails of encouragement that I can learn from and share with others at this time.
Tonia says
Thanks for this article and others you’ve been sharing. I turned 60 this year and most of what I read here resonates with me. I’ve been so heart broken (though a little better now), since my beloved beautiful daring daughter passed on unexpectedly on October 22 of last year. Never said goodbye. Never said “I love you” one last time. It hurts so badly even when I remember. Memories never fade. Tears running down my eyes. I resolve to shower and express my love and gratitude to my other kids ever since.
This article touched my heart that I will implement what I have learned, let go of the past, give love, appreciate those in my life, show gratitude, embrace life and be happy. And much more. Thank you so much, may God bless you.
Bill says
Thank you for this site (and insight).
Tonia: your last paragraph really hit home with me. It sums up what we all should make a sincere and consistent effort to do. You are appreciated.
Karina Corral says
It’s hard to find tolerable inspiring articles online lately. Yet this one here was incredible and truly heartfelt imo. Thank you, and wishing the best to you and all who have commented here before me.
Ranee Kohner says
I loved everything in this, thank you so much.
Barbara says
Beautifully written and the best advice ever! I subscribed to your website and look forward to all you have to say! In my mid 80s now so I don’t have too many years left on this earthly plane but I am certain your words will make a huge difference. Thank you.
Ethridge says
I have been trying to move forward after the loss of my family. Sometimes I dont understand why I’m still alive and have to do this live alone. Then I realize when they were alive how small disbelief or disagreements would separate us and our time together. How did we get there? When you have no one, you will begin to become more aware of all the magic or miracles that are right in front of you that was seen before yet not really embraced. I’m moving in a new way that is awakening for me. Your article is part of my map today of healing. Thank you for your open heart. Your words spoke to me. Very inspiring to see and grateful for your message.
Rachid Ourghi says
Hi Marc and Angel,
Thank you very much for such an insightful and inspiring article.
Regards,
Rachid Ourghi
David Cleroux says
“Keep reminding yourself that in the end there’s only one thing that makes a goal or dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. Because the results you achieve in life are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently!
Yes, your life will get better when YOU get better. Start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day by building positive daily habits and sticking to them. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.”
Life goes on and learning goes on; it never stops. I appreciate the post and your talent in making the learning more practical and meaningful. Thank you. Hugs.
Bluebe says
Your page is helping me a lot in my healing journey. Every day I will have some questions which I get a answer through your page. I would like to sincerely thank you for the work you are doing. Thanks for for your kindness and sharing it with people. Yesterday I was blaming my parents for my childhood and the person I’m today because of that childhood. It’s taking me lot of work to reparent myself. I will not take my childhood as excuse be like this forever. Thank you again for your kindness..
Poorva says
Truly Trying
I think it is the most important thing we need to do every day.
Thushara says
I feel this is perfect medicine that change your enthusiasm. Good writing,
Richard Kina says
THIS was a great article.
These are things that I have learned but need to refresh/remember/re-evaluate.
They are the cornerstones of what I believe life to be.
Linda says
Grateful to you Marc and Angel
Thank you for your Awesome website and sharing each piece as you so generously do
Absolutely Love it!
Thank you.
Annie Holland says
I’m very new to your messages, they just never have come up in my computer. I sincerely appreciate your intentional additions of older age, crippled body + attention to how these accumulate to continue affecting mental health/self-confidence. I am still intelligent + articulate + refuse to fall down like everyone expects me to do. This is MY Life + I’m not done playing + reading yet. I’m glad I found you. It was timely.
Anthony Hughes says
I want to thank you for this article. Everything in this highlights my personal shortcomings/areas for growth and personal developmental progress.
It is so refreshing and beautiful to find an article online which achieved what I’ve just described and I sincerely hope it is at least as much help to others that read it as it has been to me. Thanks for sharing such inspirational wisdom with me. I wish you all the very best from today onwards!
Riddhi Agarwal says
One of the most meaningful and relatable articles i have read recently. Many eternal truths put together beautifully and in very simple heart touching words.