“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
– Annie Dillard
Are you willing to spend a little time every day like most people won’t, so you can spend the better part of your life like most people can’t?
Think about that question for a moment. Let it sink in. You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing — growing happens only when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis (most people miss the second part).
And isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? That’s the power of daily habits.
Now it’s time think about your habits — the little things you do every day.
Because these little things define you.
All the results in your life come from these little things.
Regardless of your unique life circumstances, or how you define success, you don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful over time based on your habits.
Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…
- You keep failing to check the books.
- You keep failing to make the calls.
- You keep failing to listen to your customers.
- You keep failing to innovate.
- You keep failing to do the little things that need to be done.
Then one day you wake up and your business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do on a daily basis — your habits — not just one inexplicable, catastrophic event.
Think about how this relates to your life.
Your life is your “business!”
And your habits make or break you, one day at a time.
Even the seemingly insignificant daily habits you engage in can produce ripples of consequence, for better or worse.
So how have you been managing your habits, and thus your life?
Are the little things you’re doing every day working for you or against you? If you think the answer might be the latter, you will find value in the essential daily habits listed below. Each of them gradually strengthens common weak points we’ve seen plaguing hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years (these weak points are little negative patterns of behavior that most of us struggle with at some point).
And remember, this article is about making small, sustainable changes in your routine behavior. That means practicing each one of these habits gradually — one at a time, one day at a time, and then letting them build on one another over time. Go from zero to six over the course of six months or so, not all at once…
1. Wash your dishes, mindfully.
Yes, I literally mean washing your dishes. It’s just one small step forward: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.
Form this small habit one dish at a time, one day at a time. Once you do this consistently for a couple weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off. Then start doing a few sit-ups every morning. Eat a few vegetables for dinner. And so forth.
Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy habit of practicing self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing the little things that must be done, and finishing what you start.
But again, to start, just wash your dishes. Mindfully, with a smile.
2. Consciously focus on the positive.
As described in the bestselling book “The Happiness Advantage”, recent scientific studies have shown that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster. The same studies then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%. Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers. So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are generally positive.
Of course, that’s not to say that successful people never get upset, but your effectiveness in all walks of life will fare better if you’re able to mindfully accept and let go of negative emotions, rather than dwelling on them. Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset. Keep it generally positive.
3. Use visual reminders to stay on track.
You want to get in shape, but when you’re tired it’s easy to rationalize that you’ll start exercising and eating healthier tomorrow. You want to build a more profitable business, but when you’re caught up in the daily grind it’s easy to just do what’s familiar instead of what’s required for growth. You want to nurture your closest relationships, but when you’re busy it’s easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead. In other words, few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out — even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.
To combat this, many successful people use visual reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses. A friend of ours who has paid off over $100K of debt in the past five years has a copy of her credit card balance taped to her work computer’s monitor; it serves as a daily reminder of both the progress she has made and debt she still wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the unhealthy lifestyle she never wants to go back to. And another fills his office bulletin board with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind him of the people he is ultimately working for.
Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that take you farther away from your ultimate goals. Then use visual reminders of those goals to quietly interrupt the impulses, and keep you on track.
4. Practice journaling.
If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and your journal is that map. You can write down what you did today, what you tried to accomplish, where you made mistakes, and so much more. It’s a place to reflect. It’s a place to capture important thoughts. It’s a place to sort out where you’ve been and where you intend to go. And it’s one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.
Just this morning, I spent 15 minutes journaling about some recent events in my life that I’m grateful for, and some that are still troubling me. As I was wrapping up, the idea for the blog post you’re reading now came to me, which was a pleasant surprise since I hadn’t yet decided what I was going to share with you today.
I also unearthed some incredibly healthy insights regarding an important relationship that I had been neglecting, which motivated me to immediately send out a text message to someone I care about who I’ve been meaning to reconnect with. We now have a brunch date scheduled for next Sunday.
So as you can infer, your time spent focusing inward and journaling doesn’t just help you — your mind is powerful and your thoughts create ripples in the world around you. When you bring clarity into your life, you bring the best of yourself into everything you do — you tend to treat yourself and others better, communicate more constructively, do things for the right reasons, and ultimately improve the world you’re living in. This is why journaling for a short time every day can actually make a significant real-world difference in your life. (Note: If you’re interested in starting a journaling practice, or simply expanding on your current practice, check out “The Good Morning Journal”.)
5. Observe or study the work of mentors.
Regardless of what you’re trying to achieve, you can’t do it completely alone. It can be hard to learn actionable skills from books, and sometimes the internet makes it difficult to separate truth from fiction. You need someone who has been where you want to go, and you need them to show you the way — you need a mentor.
Sure, 10,000 hours of diligent practice can make you an expert at something, but what makes you dedicate 10,000 hours to something in the first place? The answer is having a great mentor or two. If you study the lives of enough successful people, it becomes obvious that most world-class performers in all fields — athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, etc. — had incredible mentors, coaches or role models who made the activity of practice worthwhile and rewarding.
And sometimes just observing a mentor works wonders too. When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation. Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness. “Look, they did it. I can do it too!” It may sound overly simplistic, but spending time studying people who are great can be one of the most powerful things you can do for your success.
6. Give thanks before bed.
Overlooking everything that’s wonderful is a tragedy, and a very debilitating one. When you get lost in worried thoughts about a life situation you think you “should” have, you end up missing the beauty of everything you do have. And you will never be happy if you aren’t consciously thankful for the good things in your life.
Here’s a super simple, five-minute daily gratitude exercise that has worked wonders for hundreds of our students and coaching clients over the past 16 years:
Every evening before you go to bed, write down three things that went well during the day and their causes. Simply provide a short, causal explanation for each good thing.
That’s it. We spend tens of thousands of dollars on expensive electronics, big homes, fancy cars, and lavish vacations hoping for a boost of happiness. This is a free alternative, and it works.
In a study of this gratitude exercise’s effectiveness by the famed psychologist Martin Seligman, participants were asked to follow those exact instructions for just one week. After one week the participants were measurably 2% happier than before, but in follow-up tests their happiness kept on increasing, from 5% at one month, to 9% at six months. Even more interestingly, the participants were only required to keep this gratitude journal for one week, but the majority of them continued journaling on their own because they enjoyed it.
I tried it for myself nearly two decades ago — I set a goal of doing it for just one week, and I’m still doing it today. So I can assure you it’s effective.
A journey of renewing trust in yourself.
Renewing trust in yourself is one of the most significant hidden benefits of practicing the aforementioned daily habits. In fact, what Angel and I lacked before we learned to implement these kinds of daily habits was the trust that we were actually capable of achieving positive results in our lives. We went through a very difficult time together when we were in our twenties — both of us were grieving significant losses in our lives, and we repeatedly failed to get back on our feet. As the weeks rolled into months, we had grown so discouraged in ourselves that we started subconsciously choosing procrastination over future attempts to make progress on the promises we made to ourselves — to heal and move forward.
In essence, we lost trust in both our abilities and ourselves. It’s kind of like another person constantly lying to you — eventually you stop trusting them. The same holds true with the promises you make to yourself that always end in disappointment. Eventually you stop trusting yourself.
And the solution in most cases is the same too: you have to renew your trust gradually, with tiny promises, tiny steps (your daily habits), and tiny victories. Of course this process takes time, but it happens relatively quick if you stick to it. And it’s arguably one of the most important, life-changing things you can do for yourself.
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to take the next step with one of the aforementioned daily habits. But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay and its ideas. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
gale says
This is such a solid list! So real and useful. I definitely have been suffering from multi-tasking with everything I do. In this day and age, there is so much stimuli that my mind craves to be distracted no matter what I’m doing.
I’m definitely going to keep referring back to this list.
Thanks! x
Stephen Ayamah says
Very insightful.
Ankur Sharma says
Good One..
Shiva says
Yes me too… Facing many challenges in my life…
Hopefully I will overcome the challenges and move on with greater force and purpose
Thanks for sharing your wonderful insights
T Riley says
Yes, need to get back to this! We always do for others, but we really need to take care of ourselves in order to help others !
Thank you!!
T Riley
Bowie says
I found this essay to be particularly helpful and doable. I’ve struggled with contentment on and off for the past 44 years. But it’s always about taking small steps in the right direction. Some of the suggestions I had already been doing and slowly progressing. The other suggestions were right on point and again, doable.
We didn’t get where we are now overnight. Change can happen, but not overnight and not without conviction.
Thanks Marc and Angel.
Dr. Sonia Joubert says
THANKS!
I find your articles of amazing value and look forward to reading them.
Warm regards
Dr. Sonia Joubert
Johannesburg
SA
Olivia says
I always enjoy your blog posts, emails and reading a page or two from your 1000 Little Things book, but this particular post has been especially eye-opening at the moment. It’s exactly what I needed to read today!
Lately there’s been a lot of drama, stress and uncertainty in my life, and it’s really difficult to see the light at the end of the road, especially when it always feels like I’m just waiting around constantly for the other shoe to drop. It’s really hard to push forward when you’re struggling, but I am.
And right now it’s time for me to let go of some attachments and allow certain things to be the way they are, as you eloquently described above. Thanks for these reminders today.
Blessy says
Even though all of the six habits are quite helpful, what i guess i really wanted to hear was the last part about trusting myself again. I had been trying to regain that trust. And I hadn’t truly realized how i was breaking my trust by the simple things i refused to do until it was too late. I was too rigid on myself before, trying control myself a bit too much and so when I realized that I thought of letting myself be free. I didn’t give much attention to the things I was freeing myself from and as a result I lost all that trust.
Anyway, knowing that it really is possible to gain back that trust and that someone has actually done it is inspiring. Thank you for that.
Linda says
I’ve never thought about giving up on trusting myself as you described. Maybe that’s why I say “why can’t I achieve like I used to?” Age was my excuse, but trust is more realistic. I enjoy your inspiration and actionable insights here. Thank you.
Wendy says
You nailed it- age was my excuse but trust was more realistic. So much wisdom in this observation.
Caroline says
You summed that up so perfectly/succinctly for me Wendy; thank you.
Gary says
Marc and Angel, these are such great reminders for me too, and all of us really. I attended your Think Better Live Better conference in San Diego a few years ago and I actually leveraged what I learned there to build a few positive daily habits into my life that have made a significant impact in just a couple short months. Two of them are listed here — the habits of practicing self-discipline and journaling — and the other one is one that was mentioned at the conference, but not mentioned here. So, I figured I’d mention it here just in case others find as much value in it as I have:
I have found this simple breathing incredibly helpful and practice it at least once a day. It’s simple, quick and effective. Just remember 4 7 8. Breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of 4 seconds (deep belly breathing). Hold for a count of 7 seconds. Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 8 seconds. Works wonders! Try it… anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Nobody needs to know! And it can be especially helpful at bedtime to relax and prepare yourself for a good night’s sleep.
Again you two, thank you. And thanks to the other commenters too – I enjoy reading your thoughts also.
Joy Thierman says
Thank you, thank you! THANK YOU! for reminding me to get back to journaling and for giving thanks each evening for three things that went well during the day. I’ve been blaming my years (84) for not continuing these habits, but realize that they are now more important
than ever before to keep me in the zone.
THANKS!
-JOY
Lee says
I have struggled with multitasking and have given that up gradually with practice. Thanks again for such great reminders! I’m going to crack my journal back open again this morning.
Amy says
I just put a journal with a floral cover next to my bed with a nice pen rubber banded to it, so I can write 3 things that I am happy/thankful for before going to sleep tonight. Thank you for reminding me to do that! And the other points and ideas here were great too.
Amanda Wright says
If I wasn’t sitting in a busy city cafe at the moment, this essay would have had me punching the air and shrieking Yes, yes, yes! It was particularly the bit where you talk about losing trust in yourself because it’s like listening to someone who constantly lies to you, so that you come to expect it. Thank you for providing a simple, do-able solution to this. Keeping tiny promises to yourself and gradually building up your trust in yourself. This was a real eye opener for me. You put into words something I felt but couldn’t articulate.
David says
Let’s see here… I got the dishes pretty downpat. I usually do 1 at a time… no problem there. Allowing things to be the way they are… ok… unless I see the need for attempting to correct something.
Ok… Clarity and journaling. Journaling would certainly help with clarity… so 2 birds with one stone… I’ll go with journaling… there’s certainly a lot to be thankful for on a daily basis, and I believe that will help with all I do. I appreciate confidence communicating with you. ? Thanks! Hugs.
john M Hardy says
Great post as always. There may also be another habit bigger than all of these, the habit of making your bed. You never know who may stop by and they get the wrong impression of you by seeing an unmade bed. Even just straightening the sheets and blankets would be sufficient if you don’t have time to make it.
There was a famous commencement speaker who mentioned this in his speech. As always, great work!
Christian Tok says
I’m thankful I stumbled on one of your articles a few months ago. Since then have made it a habit to read them every day. This one is really fantastic and intriguing. I have introduced my spouse to your blog too.
Anna says
THANKING ALL the people that always leave replies. It’s in that reading that most times for me it’s the frosting on the cake :-). A lot to reflect on in the sharing. And big hugs to Christine who left a reply right before me. I can relate, very closely.
Omotayo Oluwole says
It’s an eye opener for me. I definitely will work on myself and always wash my plate!!!
David Cleroux says
“Growing happens only when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis.” I’ve started journaling and that’s going well. I’m still working on being more deliberate at what I do… still get too hasty when there’s a lot happening… but I’m more aware, which is a step of progress. I still need to declutter my daily lifestyle and regulate what needs to get done and the time I allow for them. Thanks for all you send my way. Hugs.
JAMES MORIASI says
Thanks for the reminder about daily simple habits. One thing I need to resume immediately is Journaling. I started a journal and broke off for several weeks now. I especially need to write down beautiful moments that have transpired for the last one week, for which I am I am grateful, yet not captured in writing. Thanks. I need to do so immediately I finish this feedback. Thanks!
Joe says
Having read through all, thank you for these very positive insights. Today has been very good, and I’m looking forward to improving further.
Jodi says
So many to choose from, but I’m guessing that after I review it again I might land on trusting myself. To be continued.
With gratitude
Sylvia Sylvester says
All these things are great. I love to write so journaling is easy.
But you forget the most important thing is positive thought. The law of attraction through positive thought.
Richard says
Thank you very much for your insights. I have started to work on my daily rituals based on your valuable postings a few months ago. Here are my daily rituals. I have posted them on my fridge and read them often during the day… Cheers, Richard
1. I drink a glass of water when I get up
2. I eat something healthy for breakfast
3. I wash my dishes
4. I meditate and do yoga
5. I do fitness
6. I go for a walk and enjoy the world
7. I make music
8. I read and enjoy it
9. I only do one thing at a time
10. In the evening I write down what I experienced today and what it was like for me
11. I write down what I plan to do in the coming days, but without pressure
12. There is only one proof of ability: doing it
13. I thank myself and those around me for today when I go to bed in the evening
14. I often breathe 4-7-8 (breath in – hold – breath out)
Tonia says
Gratitude for this share! It resonates on a deep level for me. I found myself with oodles of time on my hands and a disillusioned mind after being laid off and I was looking to create some normalcy in my life. I’m not sure where I heard it, but the advice to practice everyday habits mindfully was prescribed. I journaled to come up with a morning routine that honors my core values – I made it visible and measurable. I am grateful to say that honoring my own self-efficacy has become a part of my everyday life. I am seeing evidence of my hard work in my physical reality now as a result of it. Great share! Gratitude!
Cindy L. Cordi says
Tough ten years. I have already read some of your life learning skills, and they seem to have changed my way of thinking. This one is very much going to be included in my learning process.
Thank you
Sebastian says
What a beautifully grounded and practical article! Your six daily habits are refreshingly simple yet deeply powerful — from washing dishes mindfully to ending the day with gratitude, each habit strikes a balance between realism and meaningful change. I especially appreciated the point about “renewing trust in yourself” — it resonated so much, because it’s easy to overlook that growth isn’t just about big wins, but about keeping the little promises we make to ourselves. Thank you for sharing this — I’m inspired to take one tiny step today and build from there.