You can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Tiny, repeated efforts will get you there.
I have witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year-olds starting families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and more. How did they all do it? In a nutshell, they started being more mindful about making progress in their lives, step by step. And by doing so they changed the trajectory of their lives.
What you need to remember most right now is that it isn’t too early or too late to start making positive changes in your life. Your future is always affected by what you start doing today. Yet so many people wait around for some arbitrary date and time, like tomorrow, to take action. Don’t be one of them! Be mindful, and make yourself a bigger priority right now. It’s time to…
1. Insist on embracing your humanness.
“Human” is the only real label we are born with, yet we forget so easily. To become attached to a loaded label of overweight, divorced, diseased, rejected, or poor, is to be like the rain, that doesn’t know it is also the clouds… or the ice, that forgets it is water. For we are far more than the shape we’re currently in. And we, like the wind, water, and sky, will change forms many times in our lives, while forever remaining beautifully human.
So forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that accidentally hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.
Once we forgive ourselves and fully embrace our humanness, it’s almost funny to see how seamlessly we can adapt to life’s transitions — how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Take this to heart. And don’t forget to pause regularly to appreciate how far you’ve come. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace.
2. Insist on subtracting what doesn’t belong in your life.
When you discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy — something that truly matters to you — care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life. And if you find that you don’t have enough time for what matters, stop doing things that don’t. In other words, start subtracting what isn’t working for you.
Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive. Let that sink in. When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler and more enjoyable when you clear the emotional and physical clutter that makes it unnecessarily complicated. And there’s so much you can let go of in life without losing a thing. It’s called growth. Letting go of the old makes way for the new. Letting go of what isn’t working makes way for what will. When the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go, it’s time to let go and grow.
3. Insist on leaving other people’s judgmental opinions alone.
When Marc and I first started writing on this blog, I’d agonize over whether people would think what I was writing was good enough. I desperately hoped they’d like it, and oftentimes I’d catch myself imagining they didn’t. Then one day I realized how much energy I was wasting worrying about it. So I’ve gradually learned to relax with simply not knowing. Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.
What you need to remember is that you can’t control how other people feel, or how they receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through a mindset occupied by whatever they are going through at the moment, which likely has nothing to do with you. Just keep doing your thing with as much love and passion as possible.
4. Insist on upholding your boundaries.
When it happens, be sure to tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. So before you waste it on anger, spite, or frustration, think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is, and carry on with grace.
And remember that not all toxic relationship situations are agonizing and uncaring on purpose. Some of them involve people who care about you — people who have good intentions, but are toxic because their needs and way of existing in the world force you to compromise yourself and your happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people to be spending time with every day.
You simply can’t ruin yourself on a daily basis for the sake of someone else. You have to create boundaries and make your well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone, loving a family member from a distance for a little while, letting go of a social obligation, or removing yourself from a daily situation that feels painful — you have every right to create some healthy space for yourself. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
5. Insist on putting your heart and soul into the things you do.
There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Starting today aim for the latter. Too often we wait around because we think we need to “find” something new or different to be passionate about, but that’s not true. If you want more passion and satisfaction in your life, act accordingly right now. Put your whole heart and soul into the next thing you do. Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but the opportunity right in front of you. Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but today’s tasks. Not into tomorrow’s run, but today’s run. Not into tomorrow’s conversations, but today’s conversations…
In the end, purpose is the reason you journey and passion is the fire that lights your way. So start believing in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of purpose and passion — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting. Stop waiting! Put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you! Become it, let it become you, and great things will happen for you, to you, and because of you.
6. Insist on stretching yourself in the right ways.
Again, many great things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. Will it always be easy? No, but remember that when you’re struggling to make progress that’s when you actually are. You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability — it needs to be slightly hard and uncomfortable sometimes. Of course most of us don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we subconsciously run from the possibility of discomfort. The obvious problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.
Choose differently starting today… Go to environments that expand your mind. Spend time with people who inspire you to stretch yourself. Read books. Grow. Get better. Your life is in your hands.
7. Insist on reminding yourself why every step matters.
In the end all the small things make a big difference. Every step is crucial. Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that slowly get you there — the blood, sweat, tears, and the small, inconsequential things you do on a day-to-day basis. It all matters in the end — every step, every regret, every decision, every minor setback and minuscule win.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum-wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comic strips, questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.
All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today. And all of this proves that you have the strength to deal with the challenges in front of you. So keep giving yourself grace, and carry on. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for this kind of self-reflection.)
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn starting today. I hope you will have a delightful one, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will leverage the reminders above to create something that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to mindfully accept and grow from the outcomes you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Rudy says
I truly appreciate this post because I think it encourages people to just be more of themselves, and begin each day on a more sincere and focused note.
I think that something I have to work on more in my life is the ability to make mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes–fail forward–and I think that sometimes I have to remind myself that, and really appreciate on the freedom to do so.
Arnold says
I agree. And I also appreciate this post because it emphasizes the importance of self-discipline and staying focused. While you can’t control how others perceive you or what they think and feel, it’s essential to stay true to what’s right.
Nancy says
You nailed it, Rudy!
Susan says
I feel lost in my feelings of knowing myself at 55 years old. I want to feel fulfilled but my time is spent differently than I want it to be spent. I am happy with my family and have so much. My passion and giving is why fulfills me. I wish it were birds or gardening. It’s just not that simple for me and that makes me sad. I am starting to out myself in situations where I can make new friends and know new people who I identify with.
Todd says
All of the above are correct.
Kailash. R says
We have to better ourselves. Our progress should reflect. Comparing with others leads to misery.
Progress is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.
Thoughtful article.
Nothando Hlatshwako says
Thank you for writing, the courage and the motivation.
Lee says
Wisdom I needed as I think about a change I’m currently making in my life. I sometimes forget my humanness and my need for boundaries, especially when I’m around gatherings of people who don’t always lift me up. Thank you.
Catherine says
This is a profoundly enriching article with so many nuggets. I too particularly resonated with “Embracing our Human-ness”. It is true, in life we are human first and I see to forget that. And despite the labels I give myself or others give me, I am human first and I will exist in so many forms in this life. I felt this liberating the hard stance I take to who I should be forgetting, first, I am human. I can’t explain it but wow, mind kinda blown!
MJ says
I’m 75 years young today and I fully embrace your philosophy. Thank you for putting yourself out there for the rest of us. It take constant reminders to appreciate our gifts. I feel like the time I have left is going to be a good for me.
Jean Lacombe says
I’m 79, and I feel the same way as you.
I lift weights, do resistance training, and eat healthy.
Right now I am tackling a project of painting my living room ceiling and walls.
It’s so fun starting a project, quietly working with it, enjoying the doing, and seeing it through.
J says
Honestly, all 7 points have some wisdom inside them, but I think the part I loved the most was the point about putting your passion (energy, focus, + creativity) into RIGHT NOW. And not putting it off till later. It can be easy to take the present for granted, especially if there’s a goal that you’re working towards, but truthfully, ALL moments are precious and should be treated as such. SOOO good! Thanks again for sharing your talent in writing and encouragement with the world! We appreciate it!
MRS VAANATHY DHILLON says
Love the reference to what surrounds us and the reference to real life scenarios. The simplicity and clarity in the presentation enables the reader to transcend and embrace without prejudice..thank you
Dee says
Thank you for your great apt and helpful insights. (No need to worry about the quality of your article…which is wonderful btw.) All the points you make are special. Embracing our humanness, stretching ourselves in the right way and reminding ourselves that every step matters resonated with me most. But the question is, how do we overcome hurdles and shackles, practical or psychological, to get there?
MRS VAANATHY DHILLON says
Journaling with honesty and challenging the situation by stepping out and not getting caught up in the shackle. Need to remember every incident can only be positive or negative. Be kind to yourself
Michael Mc Govern says
Well its all great advice and my dear friend Tom Healy used to post your advice daily on his Facebook page where I came across it. Sadly Tom passed on in the last few months so I looked you up and so glad I found you so inspirational. Kind regards from Mike in Ireland. Also, you’ll be pleased to hear I’ve just published my 1st book recently at 76.
Alice Corti says
Good for you, honoring the present. Congratulations for starting your project on writing a book Right Now and honoring your passion.. May this work bring you fulfillment. It is great to use Marc and Angel’s ideas too.
Sylvia Ebbert says
Congratulations.
Stephanie-Noel Dodt says
Never wonder whether you are doing a “good enough job” writing. I just saw your article on my phone while drinking my tea. I smiled and said “Oh. Marc and Angel! I like those guys!” and started reading. I truly appreciate what you two share each week and all the added insight from people who comment on your articles.
Katherine Eddy says
I’m am so grateful that I stumbled on this! Humanness and boundaries struck a cord with me today, having just retired last September I am still trying to find my groove. This truly helped me with my perspective.
Mary Ella Johnson says
First, I absolutely love how you spin your words into heart hitting wisdom one may use to better their lives and the lives they touch. I always enjoying reading your words! Thank you! Second, there is so much great advice in this one I can’t choose which is best but, I love that you speak of moving on with grace and focusing your energy on what improves your happiness in this short life we are blessed with.
Patricia says
Hi guys … I love your wisdom! I haven’t been a daily reader too long but now I never skip a single entry. I am a young 71 year old wife, mother, grandmother and friend and in the past 12 years or so, an artist. Point #2, while not exactly new think for me, it is certainly something I have not applied to my own life maybe ever really. By the time you have lived as long as I have, it will be eye opening to see how much baggage, extra weight I’ve made a part of what I consider vital. So it will require a time of prayer, writing and brutal honesty to get it out there – take that honest look at anything and everything that’s just not working. But my decision is to take the time, and without any self condemnation, at least make the list. Doesn’t call for broad swipes but choosing 1 or 2 things at a time and see how it feels! Thanks for providing your readers a forum to process!
Kelley Morton says
I appreciate every one of the messages that you offer your readers. I started out seeing your posts occasionally and realized they really resonated, so I signed up to receive your articles regularly and look forward to seeing them in my inbox. I especially enjoy the gentle nature of your joint thoughts. Keep it coming – you are valued!
David says
“In the end, purpose is the reason you journey and passion is the fire that lights your way. So start believing in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of purpose and passion — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting. Stop waiting! Put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you! Become it, let it become you, and great things will happen for you, to you, and because of you.” A new, and hopefully not too lengthy chapter has begun. I pray that I can live it to the full and experience a measure of growth, and that this time will be fulfilling and encouraging to all concerned.
Richard Kina says
All of your points are very relevant and have merit. We, all of us, need to stop wondering what others think. It OUR life and we need to pursue it.
John Hardy Hardy says
Great article as always, #3 and #4 are the ones that hit home for me- These are basically MYOB questions, you don’t have to worry about other people’s business (unless you are a paid professional that does this) nor should you worry about boundaries- Remember, it is MYOB – not someone else’s
Donna says
Everything is applicable. Moved 3 years ago to a beautiful little cottage by the sea with my husband of 50 years who was in the early stages of FTD. He passed two years ago. At 75 I am rebuilding my sense of self again. Back pain has slowed me down considerably but have been letting stuff go and trying to concentrate on just improving that, and doing as much as I can each day. It is improving! But everything is a concerted effort and done with focus and determination day by day. So this was an encouragement to me. All of it.
Ms Kim B. Ruby says
Thank you I needed this. Very profound.
J. Black says
Excellent & encouraging article. Thank you for being invested in helping others. I am 74 & at a crossroads in my life and this has given me the positive boost I needed.
arockia G says
Thank you for posting the article. It really helped to me a chance to cleanse my soul a little this morning.
Debra Villcheck says
Great, fast and efficient read. Ty for the info. I woild give it an A+
Shagufta Shaheen says
This was a great read and reminder! Just so Awesome!
Thank you so much.
Dennis J Rowan says
Good positive steps. Thanks.