There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most.
Before you know it you will be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” Perhaps you can already relate. So take time to reflect. Take time to realize what you want and need in the days and weeks ahead. Take time to take calculated risks. Take time to love, laugh, learn, cry, and forgive. Life is so much shorter than it often seems.
In our line of work we speak with people on a weekly basis who have been forced to ‘wake up’ to life’s fleeting nature. Consider these two small excerpts from people’s stories that we recently received in our email inbox (both are being shared with permission):
- “Earlier today, in what’s likely to be one of our final conversations, she told me her only regret was that she didn’t appreciate every year with the same passion and purpose that she has had in the last two years after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. ‘I’ve accomplished so much recently,’ she said. ‘If I had only known, I would have started sooner.’”
- “This afternoon I was looking through an old Windows laptop that my dad used ten years ago before he died in a car accident. The laptop has been sitting around collecting dust at my mom’s house ever since. In a folder named ‘Video Project’ oddly placed at the root of the C: drive, I found a video file my dad made about a month before he died that my mom and I had never seen before. In the 15-minute video my dad talks about my mom and me, how grateful he is to be a part of our lives, and that he has no regrets at all about anything in his life — that he is totally at peace. He ended by saying, ‘I know you two might miss me someday since I’m the oldest, but please smile for me, because I’ve lived well…'”
These people’s stories are both inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time. And yet, they are incredibly common stories. Wake-up calls to life being short eventually ring true in every one of our lives, sometimes much sooner than we had expected. Which is precisely why Marc and I try to remind people to stop waiting. Now is the time to start learning, growing, and moving forward — so at the very least, you can rest free of regrets someday like the dad in the second story.
Remember, too many people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the next holiday, all their lives for happiness… And YOU don’t have to be one of them! Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been, or how much potential you had literally every step of the way. It’s time to wake up and make the best of what’s right in front of you today.
Here are ten quick wake-up calls we all need to receive in life, before it’s too late:
1. This moment is your real life.
Your real life is not between the moments of your birth and death. Your real life is between now and your next breath. The present — the here and now — is all the life you ever truly get. So practice living each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear or regret. And just do the best you can with what you have in this moment, because that’s all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself. (Read “The Power of Now”.)
2. A lifetime isn’t very long.
Eighty years isn’t guaranteed. Many people get far less. Again, today is your life and you’ve got to fight for it! Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in. Fight for what’s important to you. Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you. Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance. So stop for a moment and think. Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today — take the next step. There are only so many tomorrows.
3. The sacrifices you make today will pay dividends in the future.
When it comes to working hard to achieve a dream — earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment — one thing you have to ask yourself is: “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the better part of my life like many people can’t?” Let that sink in. May your dreams be bigger than your fears. May your actions speak louder than words. May your life preach louder than your lips… and may success be your noise in the end.
4. When you procrastinate you become a victim to yesterday.
Yes, procrastination holds you back. But when you are proactive and productive, it’s as if yesterday is a kind friend that helps take a load off your back. So do something right now that your future self will thank you for. Trust me, tomorrow you’ll be happy you started today. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Success chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
5. Failures are often good lessons.
Good things come to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve tasted failure, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt. So give yourself grace, and grow from the situations that didn’t work out. Remind yourself that you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can fail and still be smart, capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love and admiration. We all make mistakes sometimes. Take a deep breath. You are allowed to be human, and learn the way on the way.
6. You are your most valuable relationship.
Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real opportunities, and real success. So nurture the relationship you have with yourself today. You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already VALUABLE.
7. A person’s actions speak the truth.
You’re going to come across people in your life who say all the right words at all the right times, but in the end it’s their actions you should judge them by. So pay attention to what people do consistently. Their daily actions will tell you almost everything you need to know. And remember that today is too important to waste. Take good care of your personal boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others. Count your blessings, value the people who truly matter — the ones whose actions match their words — and move on from the drama with your head held high.
8. Small acts of kindness can make the world a better place.
Just keep reminding yourself that everyone you see around you is a human being who dreams of something, fears something, loves someone, and has lost someone. And… just keep being kind. Kindness is the only investment that never fails in the long run. And wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness. Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you understand there are so many others who feel like they have nothing at all.
9. Behind every beautiful life there has been some kind of worthwhile struggle.
You trip and you fall, you make mistakes and you fail, but you stand strong through it all — you live and you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You been wounded, not defeated. Think of what a priceless gift it is to grow through these experiences — to breathe, to think, to struggle, and to overcome challenges in the pursuit of the things you love. Yes, sometimes you will encounter heartache along the way, but that’s a small price to pay for immeasurable moments of love and joy. Which is why you must keep stepping forward even when it hurts, because you know the inner strength that has carried you this far can carry you the rest of the way.
10. Time and experience heals pain, and it can’t be rushed.
Recently, when Marc and I asked his 82-year-old dad about overcoming pain, this is how he explained it to us: Look at the circles below. The black circles represent our relative life experiences. Mine is larger because I am older and have experienced more in my lifetime. The smaller red circles represent a negative event in our lives. Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature. Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles. Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences. I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it. What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past and not nearly as significant as it seems.
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to make the best of what’s in front of you! So I hope you will have an inspired day today, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Jon Stuckey says
Thank you. My Dad once told me that it seemed to take forever to get to be 10 years old. 10-20 moved quicker but still frustratingly slow. Each future decade seemed to go faster at an accelerating pace. Between 80 and 90 it was a “blink of an eye” for him, and in his final year or so he shared with me many of the ideas covered in this article. Well done, really! These are concepts I reflect on often, and your version here is wonderful.
Lynda says
I just recently lost my husband three months ago and I am experiencing things I never thought I would have to deal with. And I just happened to see your article here and took time to read it. It’s amazing how it spoke to my very soul. I have been in so much pain since my husband passed away, but this article has opened my eyes in more ways than one — reminders I needed. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I look forward to your emails in the coming days too.
Edward Sanborn says
I also lost the love of my life over this past year. It has been by far the most heartbreaking, crushing experience I’ve ever had. Marc and Angel’s posts have truly given me so much to hope for. Lynda, your post spoke directly to my heart..thank you..and God bless you on your healing journey. Marc and Angel you both have touched my life..thank you & God bless the both of you
Patricia says
Lynda I am so sorry for your loss. I am a regular visitor to this site and find comfort and strength from the content. It touches me and encourages me to find the positive in my day when that might be difficult for me.
I hope you grow in strength and that you gain as much comfort as I do from this site.
Patricia
Jean says
I am so close to just sobbing. As I read through each segment, the words, thoughts and ideas resonated so strongly. About 6 months ago, I started messaging a man that I knew in high school. We graduated in 1970 from a small high school on Cape Cod. We would see each other at two subsequent class reunions. After the second reunion, we spent some time together but there were complications that kept us from moving forward together. Both of us had spouses each of whom died 4 years ago. Being in our mid-seventies propelled me to ask if we could talk and then I asked to see him in person. We live 900 miles apart! I knew the moment that I saw him through the windshield of his truck, as he picked me up at the airport, that this was right. We found the reunion to be magical….it was meant to be. I have hesitated about making the move to truly be together. But the words that you wrote here have given me clarity. No more hesitating and living through the daily “What ifs.” Thank you.
Rose says
A wake up call for me! Thank you so much. You kinda saved a soul that’s been struggling with the way things are these days. I needed this today!
Donna says
So many truths here. I am entering my late 60’s after a lifetime of many difficult challenges. And I am still discovering some of the life-lessons you mentioned. The most important for me is to take care of myself as best I can, and let others take care of themselves the best they can. And don’t get the two mixed up. The most difficult, however, is recognizing the value and “enoughness” of my own unique contributions to my community and the world.
Doug says
Truly enjoy sharing your thoughts with my two daughters. It gives them an ability to hear these positive ideas from someone other than their ‘dad’, whom they do love and respect, but sometimes roll their eyes at.
Thank you for taking time to put these words down here.
Pamela Coleman says
Years ago I lost my mom and it changed me. It was when I was nursing Mom by her bedside every day before she passed that all “the little things” I was doing for her became the “big things” for me later on. I was able to reflect on the last birthday she had, we threw her a surprise party, her siblings came to honor her one last time in person, putting her in the hot tub (she couldnt do it herself), and so many more. One time I snuggled in bed with her and we rang a bell I gave her if needing me and the rest of the entire household came running in!
These weren’t the easiest or best of times but the last that I would get to share with her. I don’t regret much. I felt honored to care for her as she had cared for me all those years and I told her so. She began to “accept and allow” me to for the remainder of her beloved life.
Rebecca says
These posts always resonate with me in some way. My marriage of 31 years is in a crisis season. Being complacent and over-familiar led us to not taking care of our relationship which led to my wonderful guy turning to another woman. I have proof that it didn’t become physical but it was close and a wakeup call for me. We don’t have forever to cherish the ones we love and to make sure they know they are loved. I pray it’s not to late for us.
Theresa says
Thank you. This is just what I needed to confirm in my life right now. Turning 70 very soon, I want to make myself happy every day and share more love with my children and grandchildren who love me so much. Sometimes out loud I am so thankful and grateful that he blessed me in abundance with a wonderful daughter and 3 good hearted sons. So to all your followers just love, be kind and most of all love yourself. Because it’s true – I’m finding just how short life really is. Blessings to all.
Liz says
How very timely… Seems that this is true with so many of your reflections. I was feeling a bit perturbed with my husband because he didn’t say “thank you” or show appreciation for bringing him a breakfast burrito. Then #2 and #8 hit me – #2: I don’t know how long either of our lives will be. Love him, even if he doesn’t “appreciate” what I did. And #8 – my small act of kindness shows my love and makes me know I can share my happiness.
Thank you for all of your reflections, so very true.
Susie says
Oh my goodness. This article truly has hit many nerves. So many emotions of days gone by resurfaced. I’m 68, widowed for one month short of 2 years. Hmm. My 95 year young father lives with me and pretty much consumes my entire being. Being a caregiver can be exhausting at times as any caregiver does know. Marc and Angel your insightful words realign my focus and purpose God has given me for such a time as this and gives me the courage and strength to keep moving forward in a positive manner. Kindness, oh yes my dear people, without it life looks quite ugly and mundane. M & A, your God given insight and purpose is speaking volumes to people. Carry on, life is good if you live it purposefully and with kindness indeed.
Maybe good enough says
Well everyone has something meaningful to say in the comments, and I’m getting as much out of them as I did your original post. Wasn’t expecting that.
Don’t really know what else to say, maybe this was just a lot for an anxious soul like myself to read all at once but… I hope all the wisdom on this page stays with me in my most doubtful moments.
Richard F. says
Dear Angel and Marc,
Thank you for these valuable and loving words… No. 10 resonates very much to me… Besides the amount of value to the overall life experience, I would also like to add that the timing is also important. If the bad events happend just recently, they drag me down much harder than when I found both a way to get over them but also if they are further in the past of my life…
thank you again for your inputs and valuable reminders.
Take care, Richard
Richard Kina says
Excellent article Angel. You hit the nail on the head with this one. Keep up the good work.
Joanne says
Thank you for the Beautiful inspiration you give me and Thank you for! This is my First real day of reading your Beautiful words I’m fighting lung cancer I need some guidance and less fear to go on with what I’m facing I ran in to you scrolling on my phone yesterday I feel very blessed and grateful!! I will Continue to pray and read I like what I’m reading Thank You!!
David says
“When you are proactive and productive, it’s as if yesterday is a kind friend that helps take a load off your back. So do something right now that your future self will thank you for.” . “When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real opportunities, and real success. So nurture the relationship you have with yourself today. You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already VALUABLE.”
It’s best to take a humble position in order to be valuable to others for their sakes, and to be helpful. And then sometimes maneuvering to get into a little better position… an equal footing in order to posibly gain a better relationship is necessary to be in a better position to be helpful.
Your encouragement is so special. Thanks and hugs.
V S.Meenskshi says
Really an awesome article. People need to ponder over the ideas discussed.
Thank you for the wonderful article.
Boris Samardži says
Excellent article. I’ve been reading your stuff and Psychology Today for months now and you both routinely provide valuable and thoughtful insights, like these. Thank you for this post, I think I needed to read this at this moment in my life.
John says
I am turning 60 very soon. And retire from active duty. I have been keeping an extremely busy schedule. 6 AM to 8 AM. per day Monday to Friday per week. With only 30 days allowed leave of absence per year.
Please someone … help me to address this … WHAT DO I DO WITH MY TIME? I an scared of staying idle.
Larry says
All of these post spoke to me in one way or other. have been blessed with good health and at 80 yo, I still work a full time job. I hope I have encouraged people and have done what was possible to help people in need. Time flies, make the most of it . It’s not what you take with you, it’s what you leave behind. God bless.
Htoo Aung Wint says
Thank you so much. Your article was very helpful to me. I noticed very well, some things. As you wrote, ‘A lifetime isn’t very long’. Yes, life is very short.
SaladBowl says
Thank you for this post! I often find myself critical of random posts that come up on my Google feed. But this one “hit home”. I’d like to know that the future holds something that is better than I can imagine right now, but not being able to see the path makes that difficult sometimes. Your words were encouraging and brought me comfort. Thank you.