A good morning, and thus a good day, aren’t experiences that magically happen — they are created consciously.
Most of us are distracted from the get-go every morning. Trivial activities like checking social media, watching TV, and worrying about things we can’t control often set the tone of the day. And that means we waste our most well-rested time on things that don’t matter, while gradually losing touch with the significant, controllable parts of our lives that actually do matter.
We simply forget that the morning hours are enormously important — they form the foundation from which the day is built. We forget that how we choose to spend these hours can be used to predict the kind of days we’re going to have, and ultimately the kind of lives we’re going to live. So if you feel like you’ve been getting a rough start lately, and stumbling through your days with diminished intention and focus, it’s time to consider some little shifts in your mornings…
Your morning habits gradually make a big difference.
Before we get to the habits, I’d be shocked if you haven’t been told to do these things in the past. I know my husband (Marc) and I have both preached about them numerous times here on the blog. The problem is most of us slack off on the things we need to do for ourselves even though we know better. And Marc and I used to be just as unintentional with our morning hours as anyone else. We used to awake in a hurry and then move through our mornings at the mercy of whatever came up, stumbling into work and errands and client meetings in a fog. It was awful, but it was our morning routine. We didn’t know any different, so we didn’t think we could change things. Thankfully we were wrong.
Marc and I gradually implemented the three morning habits covered below and everything changed. Our mornings are now solid foundations from which we consistently yield positive results, and we’ve been going strong now for nearly two decades. In addition, we’ve helped hundreds of course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees implement these habits in their lives too, and many of them have come back to us later to say, “Thank you!” My hope is that YOU find value in them as well.
And please note how I mentioned “gradually” above. If you aren’t doing any of these things right now, start with just the first one, then add the second in a couple weeks, and then the third sometime in December or January…
1. Wash your dishes.
You are eating the most important meal of the day, right? Good.
Now you can leverage your breakfast to strengthen your self-discipline. And self-discipline is a vital skill to be honed. It is the ability to overcome distractions and get the important things done. It involves acting according to what you know is right, instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy or distracted by something else), which typically requires sacrificing immediate ease for what matters most in life.
A lack of self-discipline for most of us is often the result of a lack of focus. In other words, we tell ourselves we are going to do something, but then we don’t. One of the easiest and most effective ways to build and maintain daily self-discipline?
Start small every morning. Very small…
Simply wash your dishes after breakfast.
Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes with your own two hands. It’s just one small step forward every morning: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.
Form this habit one dish at a time, one morning at a time. Once you do this consistently for a few weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then make your bed. Pack yourself a healthy lunch. Start doing a few sit-ups. Meditate for a few minutes. And so forth (more on the latter two — exercise and meditation — below).
Do one of these at a time each morning, and you’ll start to build a healthy habit of self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done, and finishing what you start.
But again, for the next few weeks, just wash your dishes after breakfast. Mindfully, with a smile.
2. Use exercise to train your body and mind (for 15 minutes or less).
Exercise is the simplest and fastest way to change your life, not only because it strengthens your body, but because it also strengthens your mind. It’s a self-initiated activity that imposes a necessary level of mental and physical effort to fuel growth. And it almost instantaneously instills a positive sense of self-control into your subconscious, even when other circumstances in your life seem chaotic.
In a vast world that is often well beyond your control, exercise becomes a personal space where you are able to train and regain mastery over your world. Only you can move your body. Only you can put one foot in front of the other. Only you get to decide how far you will push yourself.
When you start your day like this — grounded and in control — the wider world is far easier to navigate.
Furthermore, a consistent daily exercise habit literally changes the physical inner-workings of your brain. In the bestselling book, “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain”, Dr. John Ratey discusses data he collected through years of researching the neurological changes exercise causes in the brain. Exercise physically elevates a specific protein in the brain that Dr. Ratey calls “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” He states, “Exercise is the single most powerful tool you have to optimize your brain function. Aerobic activity has a dramatic effect on adaptation, regulating systems that might be out of balance and optimizing those that are not — it’s an indispensable tool for anyone who wants to reach his or her full potential.”
Marc and I have come to very similar, although less scientific, conclusions on our own too. With over 16 years of experience working one-on-one (or two-on-one) with our course students and coaching clients, we have found that exercise truly is a universal medicine to nearly all human mental ailments. It drastically reduces mild and moderate depression, lowers anxiety, counterbalances the negative effects of being overstressed, and more. And the best part is that exercise is obviously not just a mental workout, but a physical one as well — you’re hitting two birds with one stone.
So if exercise is that wonderful, why am I recommending only 15 minutes of it each morning? Because in the beginning that’s enough without being too much. Starting small is important. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but again, so many of us forget to follow good advice. Start with a morning habit of exercise that lasts 15 minutes or less. If you feel incredible resistance and fail at 15 minutes, drop it to 10 minutes, or 7 minutes, and then stick to it for at least a full month before increasing the duration again.
3. Establish presence through meditation (for 15 minutes or less).
The same principle of starting small that we just discussed above applies here as well. With that said however, a morning meditation habit of only 15 minutes is no easy feat for most beginners. During the first several attempts at meditation, most novice meditators tend to find it near impossible to quiet their mind. Because of this, many of us try meditation once or twice and do not see the value in it — it does not immediately instill the same sense of control over that exercise does. But with practice and patience meditation can be far more powerful. And that’s why Marc and I meditate every morning for 15 minutes.
Meditation is indeed a vital morning habit in our lives, and in the lives of hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with over the years. While it may not as easily instill the level of control that exercise does, meditation provides a deeper level of control which ultimately brings out of us what has been stuck inside — it connects us with our truest selves by allowing us to access all the areas of our mind and body that we are usually distracted and disconnected from.
Details aside, the most basic and practical benefits of meditation are twofold:
- lowers mental stress
- increases mental presence (awareness)
And when we bring a more relaxed presence into our morning hours — into the foundation of our day — it makes everything that happens from there much easier to deal with. Because we take the next step more mindfully — without pent-up resistance — fully aware and accepting of the tenseness in our shoulders, the little bubble of hope in our heart, or maybe even the haze of sadness in the back of our mind. And with this awareness and acceptance we find better solutions, healthier ways to cope, and a general sense that people are friendlier and cats purr louder.
On the contrary, when we are stressed out and distracted in the morning hours, our mind is split and frayed. One part is firmly focused on whatever is pressing in upon us, while the other part is giving minimal attention to whatever tasks need to be done quickly in the meantime.
Let me give you an example (from my own past life) to make things clear. Imagine that you are late for work and you’re rushing around your house in preparation to leave. If a loved one starts telling you something important about what they are going to do today, how much of your attention is going to be focused on what they are telling you? Not much.
But when we become more present — when we gradually establish more awareness and acceptance of the present moment through meditation — we stop being as distracted and preoccupied. In the space that opens for a moment, we can breathe deeply and listen deeply. For a moment, stress slips off our shoulders. And with practice we can learn to have more and more moments like this in our life.
A course student of ours recently wrote (shared with permission):
“Every moment is a new opportunity. The next one is as fresh and full of promise as the thousand before that you missed, and it is completely empty of any judgment whatsoever. Nothing is carried over that you take with you. You don’t have to pass a good-person exam before you enter, it is totally unconditional. It’s as if it is saying… ‘Okay, so you missed me the last 10,000 moments, but look! Here I am again… and again… and again!’ And you are welcomed with open arms.”
Here’s how to establish presence through morning meditation (note that there are many meditation techniques, this is the one Marc and I are presently practicing):
Sit upright in a chair with your feet on the ground and your hands resting comfortably on your lap, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing for 15 minutes (or less in the beginning if 15 minutes feels like too much). The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on the feeling of your abdomen inhaling and exhaling, which will prevent your worried mind from wandering and overthinking. This sounds simple, but again, it’s challenging to do for more than a couple minutes, especially when you’re just starting out with this habit. And it’s perfectly fine if random thoughts sidetrack you — this is sure to happen, you just need to bring your focus back to your breathing.
Consistency is everything…
Remember that the three morning habits above mean nothing if they are not acted upon consistently. One morning of cleaning your dishes, exercising, and meditation by itself won’t cut it. It is the compound effect of simple, seemingly mundane actions over time that leads to life-altering, positive results.
For example, there’s nothing exciting about putting one foot in front of the other every day for weeks, but by doing so, many normal human beings have climbed over 29,000 feet to the top of the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest…
And there is nothing exciting about cleaning dishes, exercising, or sitting quietly in meditation for a short time every morning, but by doing so, Marc and I (and hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with) have drastically better lives.
Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be trained to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. Which is exactly what the three morning habits in this post allow you to do. If you don’t proactively push yourself in little ways every morning, of course you’ll crumble later on when things don’t go your way…
But you have a choice!
Choose to clean your dishes when it would be easier to leave them in the sink.
Choose to exercise when it would be easier to sleep in.
Choose to meditate when it would be easier to distract yourself with something else.
Prove to yourself, in small ways every morning, that you have the power to take control of your days and your life!
(Note: Marc and I also build small, actionable, life-changing daily habits with our readers in the New York Times bestseller, “Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs”.)
Now it’s your turn…
Yes it’s your turn to focus on the small morning habits that can help you grow in the days and weeks ahead.
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
J says
Great essay! I would add a fourth one and that would be to make your bed. Some famous person once told that at a commencement address. Even before you wash your dishes, you should make your bed. I am not much of a breakfast person right now either, since my apartment building is now offering lunches. Totally agree with the other two though. I have resumed my cycling for the season and meditation is also a bi-weekly class for me.
David says
Yes, I agree about making my bed. One thing I do in the evening before supper is tai chi. It is wonderful and healing.
Samina Munir says
I loved your essay…indeed these morning habits can be a game changer in our stressful lives.
Both of you are doing a great service to a generation which has forgotten to slow down…stop to think and take life holistically.
I send you blessings. Keep up the good work..with your inspiring and beautiful way.
Suzanne Groulx says
I really enjoy your emails and essays. Very helpful and insightful. I am a 77 year old widow and read every day. And I was actually thinking of getting my rituals and habits a bit more in order. It’s harder when you’re alone, but this essay is a inspiration to me to get going today.
Micheline says
These sound like a good idea. I already take my coffee mindfully in the morning. I sit and enjoy it quietly as I read inspirational articles such as this one. I relax and ‘turn the rabbits away’ (don’t follow my thoughts down rabbit holes). I’m not much for breakfast first thing but try to eat as soon as I can. Getting on the dishes is a challenge to try and a simple one to achieve. Thank you.
Margi says
Good Day,
Your articles are good and simple applications for the beginning of each new day. These morning habits are great, and I already practice them regularly. I also always plan a walk everyday, I have set routes which are 3-5 miles everyday if possible. I exercise as well. Taking time for yourself daily is healthy… and thank you for your many articles, I do enjoy them.
Kristin says
Thanks for what you do! Lately I have felt like I’m spiraling out of control and have no order or direction in my life. These steps will definitely help me with the chaos that thrives in my busy mind. It’s also reassuring to know I’m not alone and that even highly successful people struggle with this too. It helps to know to start small. I have a tendency to “over-do and over-think” everything. I feel like I’ve been punishing myself internally if I don’t finish my mile long to-do list in just a couple hours. Baby steps and positive self talk will help me get a lot further.
David says
I totally understand. Yes, you are not alone. We are all connected. Giving a bit of love to ourselves and others somehow makes us feel better.
GiGi says
On my best days, I’m up around 5am. I sit in front of the doorway to the deck and meditate for up to 1 hour. I love finishing right as the sun is beginning to rise and more life is awakening. If I’m lucky, the weather is just right and I can go for a 30 minute walk. If not, I hit the treadmill. I’m on my work computer by 710am-ish after a high protein packed and veggie-based smoothie. Oh And the dishwasher takes care of the cleaning the night before so I just Crack it open to air the dishes. Then I can enjoy all the morning sounds of the country.
Thanks for reminding me that my morning rituals are key.
fayeannette says
Love these and I’ll add a few more “Ways of Being” in the morning:
1. Before moving out of bed-say a prayer of Thanks for the day and that it will be a good day for __________ (fill in the blank).
2. Fold back the bed linens and so the air will kill those nasty dust mites. Keep room dry, that’s a plus as it helps to kill those buggers.
3. Good send-offs all around is a fantastic start for everyone.
R.s says
Tks for your wonderful 3 morning routine practices
I have bn walking especially in the morning nearly 50 minutes for about a year now..
Whole day I feel enthusiastic and active to take up my personal and professional responsibility
But much weight reduction yet to happen
At times it disappoints me…
Still not lost hopes.
Pl continue to write grt articles for us.
Ruth Turley says
I had never been big on discipline, but over the last year I’ve established a morning routine of yoga or ti-chi. Deep breathing exercises, and meditation. You are right it is a very peaceful way to start the day.
Melody Mallett says
Thank you for your encouraging, empowering lessons! Just what I needed to read and begin contemplating as a full time caregiver for my 102 year old mom.
Also, here is a little morning affirmation to add to your collection of habits: “Begin small, start promptly.” It helped to get me through my working career when my inbox was often to the ceiling.
Thanks.
Abbie says
I meditate by praying, morning, noon, and night. Everything else falls into place. Greatest feeling of peace and existence. Blessings to everyone here.
Linda Steinbaugh says
This essay comes at a great time for me. I am working on getting my life organized and back on track after a long illness. I will not let the after-effects stop me from moving forward. I need to rebuild my self-discipline because, like everyone, I have lots to do.
The three morning habits have been added to my very short daily To-Do list.
Jonathan says
Great minds.. I just rebuilt my kitchen without a dishwasher but with a really nice workstation sink specifically to do this. I also moved to a small town in the mountains offloaded my city costs and commute and started my own small business so I can control my time. Mornings consist of making a green juice, a small cooked breakfast, a nice cup of tea on the stoop in the sunshine followed by a walk to the store or a small hike around 9:30 or ten I’ll ride my bike to the co-work. Sometimes I’ll take off at lunch for a bike ride to the swimming hole. It’s a really nice way to live health much improved. Will pay off the small 1-bed house this year can hardly wait.
Subi Nagpal says
Ah.. it’s like morning fresh breeze to be reading your ‘essay’, though it’s rather grown-up evening now, here.
You guys are so smooth n easy to have your way .. Amazingly convincing!
More, other, good things start happening around when one reads ‘stuff’ like this one.
B says
Your essay is a breath of fresh air.
My habit is simply, ‘focus on self’ when I first awake. I ground myself in a way… I make my bed, go through the house and put everything where it supposed to, I make my tea, play my music on the background of Spa Station, and finally, open my computer and read your email and others that bring me good perspective.
I focus every day with loving myself and spreading some love to others. The rest would follow into place.
Gratitude.
M. Tjoens says
Good advice! I had a similar conversation with a friend over the past weekend, about needing to make positive changes. Exercise and healthier food choices were something we both could benefit from, tremendously. A confirming read for me today! Thank you. I truly believe there are no coincidences. Have an amazing day. Thank you both, for these awesome inspirational insights.
Richard Kina says
It’s a simple plan, but it really works. This simple exercise also causes you to think about the activity AND allow the time to complete the task. Every one says they can do this but now you give in because you didn’t think it would take this much time.
Also, once you start these simple tasks you feel “lost” when you don’t do it.
David says
The essay is great. Thanks. I really need to work on it and make it the center point for my physical wellbeing in the mornings. Thanks for the reminder. Hugs.
Rory Corsiglia says
Love you guys. So grateful to have found you both – lovely readings of Zen.
Love, Rory
Albert Zinhumwe says
It’s always exciting to read your posts. Every nugget of wisdom invokes a better think and action, to a more proactive life. I absolutely love how you teach balance.
Shelley Orr-krause says
I couldn’t agree more, you are both right. I just wish I could consistently do the same. I try each morning, but because of our climate I find it hard to follow morning rituals. one day its warm , next day you freeze your ass off. I like to do morning exercise like walking.
I do the other two always dishes, make bed. But I will say I just love you two been following you for awhile now. Was able to access your books in local library enjoying “1000 habits successful people do”
Please keep up to your posts, great job!
Pat says
My mediation, and reading early in morning before my husband wakes up. Already wash dishes after we eat breakfast. I need to get back into habit of exercise. Got out of doing that this past summer.
Sheryl Melnick says
Thank you for the reminder. Beginning my day with intentional has been a goal now for nearly 1 year. I do notice difference on days when life interrupts my plan.
Rosalind says
I love to read what you both write awesome inspirational m trying hard to follow your advice. Thanks.
Jeri Curtis says
No longer employed, I still remember the horror of waking late, trying to get to work on time, and the all the related stress rising in my throat. So I know it can’t be easy to meditate in those circumstances. I can sure see how it might help but not so much how to implement it…
Thanks though. I do love reading your advice.
Lori Limper says
This is wise advice. I am trying this but replacing one item with a different routine I already practice. Rather than doing my dishes, every morning I scoop the cats’ litterboxes and then go outside and fill the birdbaths. I feel that the dishes are inanimate objects and can wait until later in the day. The cats and the birds are very appreciative of these attentions first thing in the morning and this makes me want to continue being kind throughout my day.
Hannah says
Like!
Adelia Lockhart says
Thanks for your essay, I enjoyed it. I have a tendency to not allow myself acceptance for little progresses over time; instead, I reach for the highest goal and fail miserably at consistency, usually only making it to a week with a new habit. I get bored quickly and think I can take on more new habits than I can. I’m again trying to form a new morning routine with making my bed, praying, and exercising, even though I still haven’t gotten down a consistent sleep schedule yet.
Jan says
Old Vine Zen.
Asha Diwate says
Thanks for great advice.
Jo says
I tuck one small addition in there, though it depends on the season (I live in a fairly northern city in ,Alberta Canada)
I need to step outside for a couple of minutes as the sun is coming.
2 good minutes of sunshine (or if it’s cloudy, just the new daylight will do) and get the natural light on my face and into my eyeballs, (Optic Nerves) not looking directly into the sun {as those of us who are smarter than the average Bear ? tend to understand inherently} The natural sunlight helps with mood boost first thing in the morning and regulation of the circadian rhythm and helps with the sleep cycle.
I need to get structure back, or I will never know that calmness again… I must have tidy surroundings to have a clear mind, it takes extra effort for all of this stuff when living with multiple chronic illnesses and newly blind, this doesn’t mean that I just stop. I just double down and continue GRADUALLY and keep trying and I’ve learned to ask for help with no shame.