Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.
“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”
Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of our blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Marc and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us struggle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.
If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for a gentle wake-up call and story about life:
We all have a few cracks.
Once upon a time there was an elderly woman who needed to walk down to the river every morning to fetch water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. She carried two buckets with her, filled them up at the riverbank, and walked back with them to her rural cottage home.
One of the buckets was newer, perfectly sealed, and held its water flawlessly. But the second bucket was older and contained a few thin cracks that would leak water onto the ground as the elderly woman walked. By the time she arrived home, typically about one third of the water in the second bucket had leaked through its cracks.
One day, on the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket — who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”
The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”
Remember:
Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!
But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?
Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?
Let this be your wake-up call!
Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket — choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough — and your whole universe will shift!
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel less than “good enough.” If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, house, and so forth by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re flawed — cracked! Again, Marc and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our clients, our students, and our readers/subscribers on a daily basis, and we aren’t immune either. Feeling good enough takes practice.
It’s time to practice!
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this short story/essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Mahesh Ram says
Simple – practical – close to the heart. Thank you.
Stephanie says
The parable of the cracks in the old bucket ring true. During my 75 years of being blown by the winds of Life I have finally accepted the many cracks in my being. Almost everyday I read passages from 1000 + Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. This parable fits right in there with the wisdom, honesty and kindness in your book. The picture of the flowers and path speak volumes. Thank you, Marc and Angel.
Lori says
I am glad you have accepted the “cracks” in your life. I have only accepted about half of mine. Thanks for the encouraging message.
SHIRLEY M WILLIAMS says
AMEN!!!
Anna says
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful parable. The timing on this spot on for me. As I read this, I feel my shoulders lowering, my jaw less clenched and a taking a deep breath. I’ve been feeling less than for a few months, especially after a few blows personally and professionally that have left me feeling unworthy. Thank you Marc and Angel, for the wonderful encouragement.
Anna says
I am also an Anna, and while I didn’t write this, I could have, nearly word for word. Hugs to you, other Anna.
Janet says
Yes, it is so good to know others also doubt their value. And most of you are probably younger than me, still in jobs, relationships, going places and doing things I can’t anymore. Actually I am about to jump out of everything familiar for a new adventure.
After decades of being useful to everybody else, always “You can wait”, and never got the garden, the few chickens, I’m about to move several states away alone at 73. A much smaller city with ? and at least twice the size yard. …For about 1/4 the price! And partly disabled, can walk around the house but only for a short time at once & need to lean on something.
All you in better shape with much more fully able time left, if a crippled old woman on veteran’s disability can totally reinvent herself, plan move alone where ? strangers, what can you do?
Smile at someone next chance. It can take very little to give just the drop of water?someone needs to persist One More day, one more try. Ripple effect is a thing.
David Richard Bourque Sr. says
Wow Janet
Your living proof it’s all mindset. Thank you for reminding me. David 56 and very able!
Kaz says
Fabulous Janet, you have given me hope..thank you.?
Angel, your story has come at a time where Im needing to reset and refocus my thinking and to understand that our flaws can sometimes make us shine brighter…we just need to acknowledge that
Amit says
Love this story and lesson. It’s so easy to make our opinions and self-judgments based on what we see from one angle, and miss the larger purpose.
Imelda Terry says
Thank you for this story today.
My favorite line from a Leonard Cohen song addresses this feeling beautifully…
“Ring the bells you still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”
Margriet Dekker says
I also love this line!
John says
This story kinda reminds me of The Velveteen Rabbit tale. Until you’re all roughed up and worn a bit you are not real. I’ll be honest, with you. Being real is hard some days. It’s “why cant I be like everyone else?” But then I’ve found I am like everyone else. I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have to work with. My flowers along the path look different than your but we both grow beautiful flowers because we’re both beautiful people.
My bucket has lots of cracks in it and is even patched in a few spots, but it’s mine! All mine.
Shelley says
Thank you for the wonderful story..I’ve been feeling sad, and bad about myself lately..I’m grieving my mom, but have also lost some friends in the past couple years that I’m ruminating about..I don’t understand what happened between us.
I know I need to put it behind me, but it bothers me..I don’t know what I did wrong. I know a lot of friendships don’t last forever.
Anyway, there are a lot of other “flowers” still in my life – many I have planted over the years – and I want to appreciate them more.
MURRAY says
Wow, I have read this comment more than once. It is just the way I have been feeling lately. Thank you for being brave enough to share part of your journey. I know every day is a new start but the past creeps in when I least expect it. Takes work and prayer to accept what is. Thanks again for your input.
Nancy says
I enjoy reading your articles as they are very inspiring. I have never commented on here because I’ve always felt that I can’t express my words as well as others do on this site. Anyway, I just want to say that I feel “good enough” (cracks and all) and I’m going to remind myself of this daily.
Thank you for another wonderful and inspiring story.
-Nancy
Vivekanandam K.M.G. says
It takes courage to accept the cracks in life. There is a saying, look at the glass as ‘half full’ instead of ‘half empty’. Your article gives me a positive and new outlook on life. Brings a big smile and a good perspective. Thanks.
Linda says
I came across this little story today. It was very encouraging as I thought it out carefully when reading. I have been so down with life in general, rejected several times from one relationship., and disappointed with things of my life these days. Downright sad. All because I feel so unworthy and not confident in much that I do lately. And yet I must know that there are “flowers” out there blooming for me new everyday and that they are smiling up at me, no matter how I feel. This story does really helps right now. I will keep it. Thank you.
Kelly says
Thank you! I needed that. I must remember to look for the flowers through the cracks. I am worthy. I do good!
Thomas Smith says
Don’t deny your cracks, rather learn from them.
David says
A heart touching article and an inspiring story.
Realizing life’s challenges often humbles us and helps to make us more conscientious and so we try to make amends and to do better; and having that desperate attitude helps to live life to the best of our ability. Hopefully, and as the story goes, our failures will benefit us and others along the way. Hugs.
h cotton says
lovely parable, xx
Richard Kina says
A great story. You never know how much you affect people & things around you till someone out the blue tells you. Sometimes you need to pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you’re doing something good,no matter how big or small.
Devonté says
Cracks does not make one lesser than anyone else, its a opportunity to become better.
aysha reema Muhusin says
Thank you…needed to read that…been feeling low…as you say…cracked..comparing myself with peers and lamenting some of my life choices…felt better after reading this..thx again…
KV says
Thank you so much for the timely piece. I needed this today. I have been trying to look at the light through the cracks and appreciate it. Some days feel tougher than others. I dont write comments as I am not as good of a writer, but felt I should today.
Prosperity says
Wow what a beautiful way to look at our imperfections, thank you so much for your inspiring and wise lessons. May God richly bless you all and may his Power and Love be a Devine protection around you.