The truth does not cease to exist when it is forgotten or ignored.
You know how you can hear or read something dozens of times in various ways before it finally sinks in? The truths listed below fall firmly into that category — timeless lessons that many of us probably learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, yet for whatever reason we tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…
1. Life is relatively short and nothing is guaranteed.
We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to reality and how the world really is.
So let that reminder be a wake-up call to truly live your life today! Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of life either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take positive action. Death is not the greatest loss in life, and neither is injury. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive and capable.
Even when life gets messy, be bold, be courageous, be a scared to death, and then take the next step anyway. Invest your heart and soul into whatever you have right in front of you. Bring passion into otherwise ordinary moments… Love what you do, until you can do what you love. Love where you are, until you can be where you love. Love the people you’re with, until you can be with the people you love most. This is the way we find more happiness, opportunity, and peace on the average day.
2. Everything will change again soon.
Embrace change and realize that it’s necessary. It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end most forms of change are worthwhile because they force us to grow. So keep yourself in check right now…
What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow. You never know. Things change, often spontaneously. People and circumstances come and go. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day. It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.
Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives. A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth. Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event. And these events are always happening — like all the senseless violence and drama we see in our world today.
So just remember, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. Accept it. Breathe. Be where you are. You’re where you need to be right now. There’s a time and place for everything, and every hard step is necessary. Just keep doing your best, and don’t force what’s not yet supposed to fit into your life. When it’s meant to be, it will be.
3. Changing your response is what puts you back in control.
Have patience with everything that remains imperfect or unfinished in your head and heart. And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. This is your life and it’s governed by your daily decisions. May your actions speak louder than your words. May your results preach louder than your lips. May your inner sense of satisfaction be your noise in the end.
Remind yourself that taking a meaningful step forward right now is worth it. Even if the road ahead seems long and rough — even if there are lots of unknowns — be brave enough to stand up for yourself and control the direction of your momentum. And remember that the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because as Viktor Frankl said, when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything! (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Passion & Growth chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
4. Life’s storms can be a source of long-term strength.
Hard times are like strong storms that blow against you. And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you are trying to go. They also tear away from you all but the essential parts of your ego that cannot be torn, so that you are left only with the foundation of who you really are.
Ultimately you realize you are here to endure these storms, to sacrifice your time and risk your heart. You are here to be bruised by life. And when it happens that you are hurt, or betrayed, or rejected, let yourself sit quietly with your eyes closed and remember all the good times you had, and all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned. Tell yourself how amazing it was to live, and then open your eyes and live some more.
Because to never struggle would be to never grow. You must let go of who you were so you can become who you are. Again, it is within the depths of the strongest and darkest storms that you often discover within you an inextinguishable light, and it is this light that illuminates the path forward.
5. You don’t need all the answers right now.
Accept the feeling of not knowing exactly where you are going, and train yourself to love and appreciate this sensation of freedom. Because it is only when you are suspended in the air, with no destination in sight, that you force your wings to open fully so you can fly. And as you soar around you still may not know where you’re traveling to. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is the opening of your wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as your wings are spread, the winds will carry you forward.
Truth be told, some of the greatest outcomes that transpire in your life will be the ones you never even knew you wanted. As long as you keep your mind open to new perspectives while you’re moving forward, there really are no totally wrong turns in life, only paths you didn’t know you were meant to travel. And you never can be certain what’s around the corner. It could be everything, or it could be nothing. You keep gliding steadily forward, and then one day you realize you’ve come a long way from where you started.
All details aside, someday all the pieces will come together. Unimaginably good outcomes will likely transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated. And you will look back at the messy times that have passed, smile, and ask yourself…
“How in the world did I get through all of that?”
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to give yourself grace for the times when you’ve lacked clarity, and for the poor choices that accidentally hurt others or yourself. Give yourself grace for being young and reckless. We’ve all made mistakes and been foolish at times. These are vital lessons, and what matters most right now is the willingness to learn and grow from them.
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Maryann says
Thanks for the affirmation of what I’m learning as I travel through this season of grief since the passing of my son and only child. It is the darkest storm, and yes, there is an indistinguishable light that is showing me the path forward. His life had meaning and so will mine. My wings are open and I’m flying not sure where but I’m moving forward slowly and steadily.
Anne says
Dear Maryann, I’m sorry for the loss of your precious child. I lost my eldest boy 10 years ago. The pain is like no other. The grief consumed me for some time and I surrendered to it. But always had hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I still miss him every day but grief is no longer my constant companion. I have grown as a person and am living a good life in honour of my lovely boy. I appreciate every healthy precious day that I spend with my husband….we are in our 70s now and have very full meaningful lives. I do look back and wonder how in the world did I get through that. Moving forward is the only way to go, take care of yourself x
Barb says
Dear Maryann, my heart goes out to you. I too lost my only child, my son, 12 years ago. I read your response and it brought tears. I miss him. The hole in my heart does not go away but I have learned to live with the hole better. Do not let anyone tell you to get over it! That is for their comfort not yours. Do remember the amazing love that only a parent can have for their child. You are where you are supposed to be and my faith allows me the comfort that I will see my son again. That is what keeps me moving and doing. You are not alone. There are many parents who only wanted more, more for their child and themselves. That is not a selfish thought, that is love, love for life.
Suzanne says
Hi Maryann,
I’m just a avid reader of these great columns, and have no children, but my darling favorite niece passed in her sleep almost 2 Memorial Day weekends on my beloved mom’s birthday.
It’s hard for me imagine your grief, I only know that she only my closest niece and loved her so much.
Know that your boy is in a wonderful place with other loved ones and that you will see him again some day.
Much love and many hugs go out to you. Try to be strong and have faith as hard as it is. And keep reading Marc & Angels columns….for they both are such an inspiration for so many….
Tamar Apelia says
Your essay has been encouraging and resonated with me deeply. I am where I need to be right now and things do change so quickly and sometimes unexpectedly. One day you are living a vibrant life and the next, a simple slip and fall can change your mobility and your life. But we must be ourselves and live our lives the best we can for the moment. It may look different than usual, but we can make the most of it as long as we stay hopeful and positive. My favorite quote from the essay was “the greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive and capable”. Thank you for the inspiration today. Love you two!
John Lubega says
Thanks for sharing this great essay, very good for reflection on my 71 year life journey! Let me share it with my son who has been struggling helplessly of late! This will surely bring him back to his feet!
J says
Great essay, thankfully it doesn’t apply to me now as much as it once did, but #4 hit right on the mark and brought me back. I went through a period in the early part of the 2010s where I had to give up everything I had (not by choice, but by necessity). Since then, I definitely learned that it can make you stronger and now I have my own condo again and everything I need.
Thanks for such great weekly articles.
Sue says
You are Wise and Inspiring.
Thank You.
Bev says
At 79, I do believe what you shared here are well stated insights to the “ups and downs” in the journey of life we all experience, and the insights on how to navigate through them. Pretty much all of it resonates deeply and immediately rings true to me. Thanks for this unexpected moment of self-reflection just now.
MyraLC. says
Letting go and embracing reinvention has become my focus since mom passed at 59. My world flipped upside down. But I’ve had time to observe what changes I need to make in my life going forward, to make the most of the rest of my own life. It’s hard, but I’m finally moving forward gracefully again as you’ve said.
Lakshmi kumaaraa says
Wonderful!
Irene says
Just what I needed at this point in my life. After almost 50 years of marriage my husband and I are going through a life-changing experience. Long story short it involves infidelity, reconciliation and a hard look at to what we want (both as a couple if that continues) and individually as we realize how we’ve changed.
#4 and 5 ring so true and I am grateful for this from you. Thank you.
Carrin says
This message came at the right time, I am deeply lost in thoughts and stressed after loosing my job at period when my son is joining the University. However this message has made me hopeful again, that however good or bad a situation is now, it will change and that every hard step is necessary.
Helen MclaughlinBooth says
Thank you for all your wonderful and inspirational words. I am also going through major changes in my relationships and home life. I’ve no idea were I’m going next but I find peace and encouragement from these posts and comments.
Chloe says
The paraphrased victor frankl quote and your thoughts about how you are unable to change a situation, but that you can change yourself – that your inner situation may change because of your growth. That’s truly great!
Mary says
Point 1,4 and 5 resonates so perfectly with where I am in life. I so love your essays and I make it a point to read them every time. There is always something to learn.
Thank you so much.
Margy says
No 3 resonates with me at this time in life even though the whole article is fantastic- thank you. The road ahead may be long and hard but I intend to get there – eventually!! With 3 out of 4 children currently estranged my whole purpose in life walked out the door so I am working on a new reality.
Mohammed says
I really like your articles all the time and today’s was really good
I really liked the motivation you gave at the end it’s really beautiful and connected.
Hope you give more amazing articles freely.
Thank you.
Cinda says
Thank u so much for all ur advice!! Things r very hard sometimes and ur advice will help me make though another day!!
Richard Kina says
No truer words have ever been spoken.
Don’t give up.
David says
“Have patience with everything that remains imperfect or unfinished in your head and heart. And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. This is your life and it’s governed by your daily decisions. May your actions speak louder than your words. May your results preach louder than your lips. May your inner sense of satisfaction be your noise in the end.”
This is what I am living today; a sample not a sermon. Hugs.
Chris says
When you’re hurt rejected betrayed close your eyes accept it think how amazing it was to live open your eyes and live again. I love that I’m trying so hard to apply those words to my life to my situation I don’t think I have ever struggled the way I have struggled the last few years. I, in my head think I’m letting things go but I’m still holding on I have to let it go what will be will be. It’s a hard thing to accept some of the pieces just doesn’t fit anymore.
Edna says
Everything you said made sense. I truly believe that I’m where I’m supposed to be, however…. It s hard. I lost my Mom
(My Rock, My Anchor, and My Comfort) 2 years ago. It feels like just yesterday. I can’t seem to catch my breathe, I miss her so much. We were together all the time. My siblings think it’s been long enough and I should be over it by now. I try to find joy in memories of her daily? But it’s difficult. I’m giving myself Grace, but trying to live each day while I have my health. I’m trying to find joy in each h day, my grandkids, people and places, for tomorrow isn’t promised. Your message was right on time. Thank you both so much.