“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’
A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”
That’s an old parable my grandmother recited to me countless times when I was a kid. I’ve since seen a shortened version of it circulate on social media, oftentimes being falsely attributed to John Lennon, Goldie Hawn, and others. While the internet sleuths seem conflicted over who penned the very first version of the parable, it’s a story that has always stuck with me. Sure it oversimplifies the complexities of happiness, but it makes some good points too. And my grandma’s version has that line about “finding happiness in hard work,” which is a fundamental concept that still resonates deeply with me today.
As adults, Angel and I have spent nearly two decades working one-on-one with hundreds of our coaching clients, book readers, and live event attendees who struggle with variations of that very concept — finding happiness when life demands that we work hard for it. So many of us attach to the expectation that life should be easier than it is. Regardless of what we choose to do “when we grow up,” we subconsciously fantasize that our chosen path will have very few detours, interruptions, or inconveniences. And then we wait around day after day for things to get easier, as countless good opportunities pass us by.
Whenever you catch yourself stuck in this kind of unproductive cycle, remind yourself…
1. You need to do some hard things to be happy in life (and you can).
Yes, you need to do the things most people would rather avoid — the things that make you uncomfortable, that are far easier to run from, that others can’t possibly do for you… the things that make you stronger but also make you question how you’re going to find the strength to push forward.
Why?
Because those hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises to yourself and one filled with purpose, progress, and fulfillment.
The key?
Consistent and passionate daily action!
Learn to believe in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of passion and purpose — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. And remind yourself that passion is not something you find in life; it’s something you do. When you want to find the passion and inner strength needed to change your situation, you have to push yourself to step forward.
Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” — something that we believe will lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.
On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:
- When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone nearby, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?
- When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?
- When was the last time you truly tried — truly tried — to do your very best?
Like most of us, you’re likely putting a halfhearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about — some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But you need to do the exact opposite!
2. Putting your whole heart and soul into ordinary moments is what creates life’s magic.
Going back to when I was a kid again, my grandmother used to tell me, “Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.” She also said, “Too often we spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it. Stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today, and then improve it tomorrow.”
Believe it or not, recent psychological research indirectly reinforces my grandmother’s sentiments. For many years, psychologists believed our minds could directly affect our physical state of being, but never the other way around. Nowadays, however, it is widely documented that our bodies — for example, our momentary facial expressions and body posture — can directly affect our mental state of being too. So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in. And you can make this reality work for you. If you want more passion and happiness in your life right now, act accordingly right now.
Put your heart and soul into something!
Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but into the opportunity right in front of you.
Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but into today’s tasks.
Not into tomorrow’s run, but into today’s run.
Not into tomorrow’s relationships, but into today’s relationships.
Angel and I are certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time and energy. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of potential passion within you, just waiting…
3. Stop waiting — that’s the real lesson here!
It’s not too late, but you do have to get started sooner rather than later. In other words, you don’t need to have it all figured out to take the next step. But you do need to take the next step to figure it out. And as you struggle forward, remember, it is far better to be exhausted from taking small steps forward, than it is to be tired of waiting around doing absolutely nothing.
Truth be told, if you wait for “the right time” — if you wait until you feel 100% ready — you will be waiting the rest of your life. Take this to heart right now. Too many people wait too long to live their best lives. They wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for passion and happiness. Don’t be one of them!
Just keep reminding yourself that new paths are made by walking, not waiting. And no, you shouldn’t feel any more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what gradually builds your confidence, and creates progress in life.
Today is the day, now is the time — it’s your turn…
Just put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you today.
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
J says
Thank you for reminding me that my future is now. Not tomorrow or next week or next month. I’ve honestly been putting a couple important things off until “tomorrow, next week, etc.” without acknowledging the simple fact that there’s an upside to getting started sooner. I’m grateful to be getting this message today.
Loretta Dowhower says
I love this message. Gives hope and a new light going forward. This helps me to appreciate the time now and propels me to live now . I love positive messages . These r the spices of life! Thankyou!
Dan says
I hope you’ll see this comment. Can you give me several real-life examples of number two. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of outside-in vs. inside-out.
Marc Chernoff says
Hi Dan. The key thing to remember is that when you change your inner state, it affects your outer state of being. And the opposite is also true — when you change your outer state, it affects your inner state of being. So for example, if you calm your mind via yoga or meditation before a big business meeting, you will likely feel more relaxed and calm during the meeting (inner affects outer). But also, if you use good posture and you make it a point to smile during the meeting, you will also likely feel a little better (outer affects inner).
Marie Larkin says
I’m studying ‘The power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle which is very much in line with Marc and Angel’s philosophy but on a deeper level of this outside-in vs inside-out. I hope this helps you as it is helping me.
Cynthia says
I really appreciated your post especially the parable between you and your grandmother. It brought to mind when my, then 7-year-old son got ahold of his father’s camera and started taking pictures of EVERYTHING! lol. In an uproar, his father snatched the camera away and said “You’re going to use up all my memory!”, my son replied, “I thought it was for making memories.”
You guys are doing great work. Thanks for sharing!
Evon says
Amen!! I wholeheartedly agree!! I’m a memory maker too Cynthia… Full of creative ideas and possibility, along with a healthy dose of inspiration and a sense of wonder to get me going.
Great comment, btw. Now to get cracking on some new ideas… no time like the present… A true gift!!
Josephine says
Thanks for this reminder that new paths are made by walking and not waiting. It has changed my perception about life. I am grateful for the message.
Lydia Passadaiou says
I’ve been reading your articles a few months now and I love the way you present so many core things of life that keep us stuck, with such wisdom and truth.
I keep a daily journal and set aside putting down my thoughts and feelings on it, I also note some of your phrases that resonate in me and have helped me a lot!!
I’m grateful to have come across your blog and I thankful to read your words.
I live in Greece btw.
Thank you!
Keep up your amazing work!
Jim says
Once again you nailed it! I have been waiting, waiting for something to come down the pike, take my breath away, give me a purpose, I’m not waiting anymore! I have been sitting on an imperfect but great plan for too long. This is my year – i still have time!
Ngorivo says
A simple and great post. Thank you.
A says
Hit the nail on the head! Once you know, you know!
Dale says
Thank you so much for the valuable wisdom. Your advice is so helpful and supportive. For so many of us struggling to stay healthy and have a chance at happiness ,it is life saving. When I get up in the morning ,it helps give me focus to keep going . It gives me purpose and strength to do the best I can and grab the small victories. Keep up the great job! You are making a real in my life.
Yan says
Thank you for reminding me not to wait for the right opportunity but to take the one I have right now. I really needed to hear this now at the cusp on a new beginning in my life.
Kimberly Ann Harrison says
#3 is the point that makes me think of my mom. She is still waiting for life to begin at 83. #1 and #2 also gave me some good ideas. I’m 52 and beginning my best life, taking a path I have never taken before and doing everything differently. I’m 6 and a half months on this new path and love the life I am creating.
Abi Chandtappa says
Adding Passion into each day is definitely a real game changer. Thanks for reminding me that it’s something we create daily, and not just something we find in life.
Victoria Price says
The first one resonated with me. I’m struggling with finding happiness in my life. I reminds me that its not dependent on other people. You have to find it in yourself. Even if it’s in the little things, at least it’s something. You have to start somewhere.
Manjunath says
Really helpful input. Thank you
Ema says
Thank you. Indeed i keep waiting for the perfect “feel ready moments” more often than not, meanwhile the seconds keep ticking by independent of your moods or state of mind (another lesson there i guess). Today i take with me this one phrase”The path is found in the doing and not in the waiting.NOW is the time-not a second after-get used to the messy start and move from there.
Adele says
Thank you for this reading piece; it reminded me to stop postponing doing things I like or following my heart. Control is something I need to let go of; there will never be a perfect or better opportunity than now.
June Brown says
As a “seasoned senior” you would have thought that I would have found my passion a long time ago. However, I’ve discovered that my passion is a daily gift. Putting effort into my hobbies, challenges that pop up due to circumstances beyond my control and dealing with them with an attitude of peace, is just a small part of my passionate life. Thanks so much for your posts. They simply speak and give me assurance and comfort.
Richard Kina says
All so true.
It really is today or never.
Rushil says
The best essay I have read so far amongst all the random quotes of the day stuff, it really nailed to the point mostly it reminds that how we exploit the only thing we ever , got for something replaceable that is time , the real human isn’t the one who wants a Mercedes to be happy he is happy in is ford while striving to work for the Mercedes .
Rainy says
A great lesson and reminder as well
Thank you 🙂
David says
I believe that ” Putting your whole heart and soul into ordinary moments is what creates life’s magic.”, speaks to me the most in this essay, which I do try to do. Again, it’s a matter of rising above and overcoming the obstacles. Thanks for your encouragement. Always reassuring. Hugs.
Cyndi C says
It’s better to be exhausted from taking small steps than to be tired from doing absolutely nothing. That’s the one I have to remember! Love your essays, they always seem to come at the right time for me!!! Thank you.
Zoya Fathima says
This is pure truth & something that just says live, don’t get caught in your own head and makes me wanna get up & do what’s important right now. Thank you!
Jaga says
It was really more insightful and it gives some pleasure feel were it doesn’t have words to explain..hereafter i wish to live today with what is infront of me ..