There are no shortcuts to any place worth going in life.
You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.
Why?
Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living — between knowing the path and walking the path — between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with progress and happiness.
Of course, the hard things are often the easiest things to avoid. To procrastinate. To make excuses. To pretend like they somehow don’t apply to you and your life situation.
But reality always rears its head in the end. And the truth about how ordinary people achieve immense happiness through incredible feats of progress is that they step out of their comfort zones and do the hard things that their more educated, affluent, and qualified counterparts don’t have the courage, drive or determination to do.
So for your own sake, start doing the hard things TODAY. I guarantee you will be blown away at just how remarkable you really are and just how amazing life can be. Here are some good ideas to get you started:
1. You have to take small chances every day.
It’s the best way to face any problem, crush fears, and overcome many of life’s greatest challenges. And you get just about as many chances in life as you’re willing to take. So never let your fear decide your future. Take small chances every day, one step at a time, and you will learn the way on the way. Some things will work out and some won’t. But good choices or bad, if you never take any chances, someone else will steer your decision-making and build your life for you. And you don’t want that.
2. You have to not worry so much about what others think.
A beautiful life is about spending your time passionately, being happy with who you are inside, and not worrying about everyone else’s petty judgments. If you want to achieve something unique and exciting in your life, stop looking for everyone’s approval. You don’t need constant approval to be happy or to follow your heart.
3. You have to stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s.
Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Plan to outdo your past self, not other people. Plan to grow stronger, not get even.
4. You have to invest in yourself daily.
Truth be told, there are only a few people in this world who will stay 100% true to you, and YOU should be one of them. Prioritize your own growth and needs into your daily to-do’s. Invest in your education, health, and happiness every single day. Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside to everyone else. (Read “Choose Yourself!”)
5. You have to walk the talk.
Do not ask others or the universe to guide your footsteps if you’re not willing to move your feet. If you really want it, prove it! Happiness will come to you when it comes from you. Success will be yours when you take responsibility for making your goals a top priority.
6. You have to put your heart and soul into things.
Love is a verb. Act on it. Put your heart an soul into the goals and endeavors that move you. Work hard, track your progress, and learn to love the journey. In the end, it’s the love that makes you smile when you’re tired and still struggling.
7. You have to deliver results, even when excuses are easier.
NO shortcuts. NO quick fixes. NO blaming others. NO “I’ll do it tomorrows.” NO MORE EXCUSES! Just get started. Quit talking and begin doing! Laziness may appear attractive, but work leads to progress and happiness.
8. You have to be willing to fail forward.
The successful people who act the happiest are often the ones who have overcome the most. Sometimes you have to lose something precious in order to gain something priceless. Never regret your past mistakes and failures, because they have given you vital lessons and strength. The one who falls and gets up is much wiser and stronger than the one who never fell.
9. You have to let go of yesterday’s frustrations.
The story of your life has many chapters. One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end. So stop re-reading the bad one already and turn the page. Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what can be. Remember, life does not have to be anywhere near perfect to be wonderful in the end.
10. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
To those who are struggling, I understand how rough things are right now. I just want to let you know that things will get better, I promise. Keep pushing forward. I know you sometimes feel like nobody really cares, but you’re wrong. People care. I care, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this. You’re not alone. We may be miles apart, but we’re all going through similar challenges. Realize that self-pity is not helpful. Life is not about feeling sorry for yourself. It’s about forgiveness, acceptance, and looking forward to what makes you stronger and better off in the long run.
11. You have to toughen up.
The strongest, happiest, most successful people are NOT those who always win, but those who don’t give up when they lose. Again, they fail forward. So keep calm when everything seems to be going wrong. You may feel weak but your spirit is strong. When things are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a hard and long one filled with gradual progress and happiness.
12. You have to fight hard for what you believe in.
Great strength comes from overcoming what others believe is impossible… and sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war. So if you believe strongly in something, fight for it. In time things will fall into place, maybe not today, but eventually — maybe not exactly how you planned, just how it’s meant to be. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
13. You have to practice patience.
Don’t rush it. Be patient. Keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. When the time is right, it’ll happen.
14. You have to take control of your thoughts.
It’s often our own thinking that hurts us. Realize this. You can’t solve your problems with the same thinking you used to create them. There’s no reason to imprison yourself. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box.
15. You have to smile more often.
Happiness is in the heart and mind, not in random circumstances. Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative thinking. Try to be positive and smile right now, not because everything is good, but because you can see the good side of some things in front of you. Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy either, sometimes it simply means you’re strong. And smiling is a physical action that can actually help you feel better from the outside in.
16. You have to spend more time with the right people.
And if you know the people around you aren’t the right people, you need to change the people around you. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for relationships that keep holding you back in life.
17. You have to stand up for yourself.
Some people will do anything for their own personal gain at the expense of others — cut in line, take money and property, bully and belittle, pass guilt, etc. Do not accept this behavior. Do not let people walk all over you. Most of these people know they’re doing the wrong thing and will back down and apologize surprisingly quickly when confronted. In most social settings people tend to keep quiet until one person speaks up, so SPEAK UP when you must.
18. You have to practice forgiveness.
Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance. It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness. Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak, you forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes. And you forgive them to free yourself and detach from their actions. (Read “Loving What Is”.)
19. You have to reach out and help people.
The closest thing to being cared for is to care for others. We are all in this together and we should treat each other as such. Your beliefs alone don’t make you a better person, your behavior does. Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, and your hands for charity, as often as you can. And you don’t always need a reason to help someone else. Just do it when the opportunity arises.
20. You have to be present for it all.
Find your balance between planning and presence. When life is good, enjoy it. Don’t go looking for something better every second. Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have. You must be willing to loosen your grip on the life you have planned so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you in this moment. It may not be everything you want for your future, but it’s everything you need right now.
Now it’s your turn…
The next step forward is yours for the taking. Just pick one of the aforementioned points and start focusing on it a little bit every day. Practice. The key is making sustainable shifts in your beliefs and behavior. That means practicing each point gradually — one at a time, one day at a time, and then letting them build on one another. Go from zero to 20 over the course of 6-12 months, not all at once.
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this list. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today? What’s one hard thing you do that makes you happier?
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Photo by: Dimitris Papazimouris
sousina says
Marc and Angel, this was my first time reading your blog and I have to say I found inspiration within your words. My children are now adults and all the sacrifices I’ve made were for them. I am a single woman and am now in my fifties trying to rediscover who I am. At times it’s hard. But I have always been one who enjoyed whatever road traveled. After reading this post, I’ve realized this is just a new road I must travel and one to enjoy.
Thank you!
Precious Paul says
Deeply thankful.
You have motivated me..
Starting today I will take a few small steps to achieve my goal of becoming a midwife.
Shelly says
This is just what I ‘ve needed to read. After relocating six times in the last 6 years for my husband’s job, and giving up my career for his, losing my mother and the love of my life dog, I truly have just been existing. I needed some advice and inspiration, and this is it. Thank you so much for writing this. I know I need to make my life happen and step out again. It is so hard. I have always been an extrovert, but have become very introverted and not even wanting to leave my house. This gives me a guidepost that I am going to follow. Thank you again!
Rachel McCrone says
In 2017 my unborn child died at 20 weeks. In 2020 I had breast cancer and needed a bilateral mastectomy. In 2022 my husband gave me 24 hours notice and then left the family home. Within a few months he had a new partner.
Awful reading isn’t it. There is more to this though…
Baby had dreadful abnormalities and would not live past a year even if he had been born alive. I did not die of breast cancer. I am back to work and have fabulous arm function. My husband is really happy and his girlfriend is lovely to my kids. Me? I live my life, doing as a please, working hard, looking after my kids and enjoying most of my free time these days. And I have a new partner who is wonderful and treats me with respect. Talk about content…lovely. And much of what’s been said in this post applies to my journey. Thanks for the reminders.
Shelley McDonnell says
Thank you for a beautiful and insightful article to read. I have been there and know first hand how hard these things are to do. I struggled for years with unhappiness and it wasn’t until I started going through these steps and taking control of my own happiness that things started to change for me. I live by ” Positive things happen to positive people”, I don’t know who said it but I repeat it to myself daily.
I now have the man of my dreams who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. I put myself through school raising my children by myself to do get the education I needed to get my dream job, which I now have.
Donna says
Pretty good points, but we also need to accept that sometimes it takes a while to unravel some of the mess we create. That also means accepting responsibility for our part in the madness, sadness, chaos, etc. Oftentimes we make positive changes in our lives but the unrealistically think everything should fall into place and that is not always the case.
Casey Kemp says
Loved this. Simple inspiration I needed today. 🙂
Cindy Allen says
This is a fantastic overview full of hard truths. I’d like to add that you have to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise and get enough sleep. All these other tasks are easier to accomplish if your body is at it’s best it can be. Take care of yourself emotionally and spiritually as well. Say no sometimes when you already have enough on your plate; don’t take on more than you can handle. Lastly, give back to the world in some big or small way. Charities always need money and also volunteers. Call a friend you know is hurting. Doing even very small things for others is a huge step in being happier. Live happy!
MK says
Marc, I resonate so deeply right now with your first point. Taking small chances is what life is all about.
In the course of my recent three-month travel (solo), I had taken lots of chances. Each and every day I pushed myself to the limits, physically and mentally. Everyday I tried something new, something beyond my comfort zone and I had great time and made memories I will surely cherish for a lifetime.
All this would not have been possible had I not dared taking small chances every single day.
Adrian says
Your posts and newsletters are absolutely wonderful.. a refreshing tonic that always support me to have an even better day. You remind me to be brave, to inch away from comfort.. so difficult and yet so worth it.
I honestly don’t have anything to add, but I really struggle with a few of these points and I appreciate the tips today.
Marsha Lee says
Great insights. Just recently I had to do something very hard for my happiness, and it has a lot to do with what MK already commented on. I had to end a happy relationship to go long-term traveling – my childhood dream that I’ve delayed for love before. My ex-boyfriend doesn’t share the globetrotting yearning, and refused to support it 🙁 so I had to finally do what was right for me.
Your daily posts remind to remain focused on my travels and to pack more life into my years.
Solly says
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the article. I have just inherited a department that hasn’t been doing good at all. That means I will be doing all the hard things to get it to function as it should. The staff is used to doing very little and lack discipline and sense of urgency. I have spent enough time onsite this week alone and I am determined than ever to bring the right change that will benefit the company and the employees.
Michele says
These points resonated with me and I forwarded this to both my kids (young, on their own and struggling a bit). I myself have just finished chemo – a journey I never thought I would be on, believe me! But I did it day by day, with dignity and faith. Love your post – thank you!
Ruby says
Hi! I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this post! I think that #19 on your list is really great. Your phrase, “We’re all in this together” is so true. I often find myself realizing how everyone is going through his or her own struggles, trials, or mishaps… Sometimes when I get really consumed in my own doubts, fears, or regrets, I forget to look around me and see the beautiful faces around me and how all of these people are making an effort just as much as I am to be there and to go to work, school, and keep appointments and other commitments, and that I’m really not alone. Just being aware of this and having a kind and generous attitude toward others can make a significant difference in your life.
Also, I agree with you completely that there aren’t any shortcuts to the places you really want to go.
Mary says
Marc,
Another spot on post. Happiness is all about knowing yourself and accepting the bad and good. No one is perfect. This post reminds me of a portion of a poem my dad use to recite. ” If you think your beaten you are. If you think your dare not you don’t If you’d like to win but think you can’t it’s almost a cinch you won’t. Life’s battle doesn’t always go to the stronger and faster man. Many a times the man who wins is the man who thinks he can. ” So it comes down to how we think and always act on what is right for ourselves. Those choices are not always easy but rewarding in the end because you can say I live my life honestly and true to myself. That is what a happy life should be. Actions speak louder then words always.
Rae Ann says
Agreed. Take responsibility for your actions, for your part in every situation. When you do you can change things for the better instead of being a victim in a situation you think is entirely out of your control.
Arianne says
#2 is the hardest! Still going through therapy, hoping I would soon learn to accept that there are some things I can’t control, and that it’s actually a blessing that I can’t read people’s minds.
I’m already doing #4, yey! Working every day to do #6. I’ve just recently rediscovered my love for blogging and now I am so focused at producing good quality content (photos, etc). And now I’ve also restarted doing YouTube videos with a new channel 🙂
#8 is hard to embrace. although, I admire those people who aren’t afraid to make a fool of themselves.
Hmm.. Is there a formula for toughening up? (#11)… Also, I thought I was a patient person… Not anymore! (#13)
Being positive is getting easier… but I think I’m still quite a ways away from constantly thinking that way (#15)
I love helping people (#19) but I guess I might be doing it wrong coz I usually get screwed over… Why, I’m not sure?
DR says
At the doctor’s office yesterday he told me that in his Residence it was beaten into new doctors’ heads that “The enemy of Good is Better.” In other words if something is working for a patient, do not change it in the attempt to get “better” results.
But I think we have collectively lost the sight of the most important “hard thing to do be Happy.”
That is to decide/choose to be happy. Period. Ultimately it’s that choice that matters. If you are successful in all 20 of the key items above, but do not actively CHOOSE/DECIDE to be happy, you will still be running in place, wasting time.
And the secret to the happiness decision is to make it every single day.
John Schultz says
Hi Marc,
What I am learning to do is enjoy the moment, embrace my journey and engage enthusiastically in life. I have for far too long become fixated with tomorrow and missed countless opportunities before me now, today. my journey is what it is, and I should embrace it. embracing my journey frees me. I have been given abilities and talents, experiences and hard-earned perspectives which should be shared with others..engaging these fully blesses others and so I am blessed in return. some days I get it right and other days I don’t..I guess I’m a plodder and will keep going..thanks.
John
Alicia says
I commend you on your posts, they are extremely inspirational. I found myself taking a different approach towards life in general based on the guidance that you provide. I found it extremely useful to print your posts and keep them in a folder for regular reading. I often find myself reading past posts that you have sent, something always seems to stand out or to be applicable to a situation that I may be going through. Thank you, I also ordered your books which I’m looking forward to reading.
Hariet says
I suppose this was specifically for me and came at the right time.
Today I was sincerely feeling like a failure, like I am taking too slow achieving and attaining all my deepest desires.
When this popped up on my email I was blown away.
And sincerely it helped me put myself in check, to keep going, never to give up and to go for those hardest things that seem impossible for some.
And I believe in myself and my higher power to attain the greatest height.
Thank you Marc and Angel , you both are such a blessing.
David says
This is such a positive and encouraging essay touching on many points that I’ve put into practice and some I’d really like to progress in. I can’t pinpoint one in particular but I can try to summarize what I feel influences me today.
6… Love is a verb. Act on it. Put your heart an soul into the goals and endeavors that move you. Work hard, track your progress, and learn to love the journey. In the end, it’s the love that makes you smile when you’re tired and still struggling.” “Life is about… looking forward to what makes you stronger and better off in the long run.” “13. You have to practice patience. Keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. When the time is right, it’ll happen.” “You don’t forgive people because you’re weak, you forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes. And you forgive them to free yourself and detach from their actions.” “Your beliefs alone don’t make you a better person, your behavior does. Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, and your hands for charity, as often as you can.”
I’m very encouraged by this essay and will endeavor to as well as continue, to put into practice the points mentioned. Thanks & Hugs.
Maxine Ivins says
Wow loved that just what I needed to hear right now xx
Robert Merkl says
Preach!!!! I LOVE each and everyone of these instructions… my new handbook on how to be and live my everyday life, on my new journey I just started… You two have helped me immensely 🙂 GOD BLESS and KEEPING DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING – Rob
N R Aggarwal says
Useful. Practiceable.
Deepa says
This article is beautiful and very meaningful, helps us understand that we are not alone and all are going through their own situations.
I literally wrote down each of these points to remind myself of these points every morning as I start my day. Also realise that what we take home each day from this reading will be different based on our own circumstances.
Thankyou so much, felt nice when you said you care , people care , so you wrote this article. God bless you both.
Debbie Brewer-West says
I loved reading this article. It was really lovely and doable. Thank you
Sutirtha ghosh says
I like it actually, very grounding.