Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.
“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”
Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of our blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Angel and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us struggle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.
If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for a quick wake-up call… and a story about life:
We all have a few cracks.
Once upon a time there was an elderly woman who needed to walk down to the river every morning to fetch water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. She carried two buckets with her, filled them up at the riverbank, and walked back with them to her rural cottage home.
One of the buckets was newer, perfectly sealed, and held its water flawlessly. But the second bucket was older and contained a few thin cracks that would leak water onto the ground as the elderly woman walked. By the time she arrived home, typically about one third of the water in the second bucket had leaked through its cracks.
One day, on the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket — who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”
The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”
Remember:
Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!
But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?
Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?
Let this be your wake-up call!
Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket — choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough — and your whole universe will shift!
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel less than “good enough.” If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, house, and so forth by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re flawed — cracked! Again, Angel and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our clients, our students, and our readers/subscribers on a daily basis, and we aren’t immune either. Feeling good enough takes practice.
It’s time to practice!
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this short story/essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Mahesh Ram says
Simple, practical, close to the heart. Thank you.
Stephanie says
The parable of the cracks in the old bucket ring true. During my 75 years of being blown by the winds of Life I have finally accepted the many cracks in my being. Almost everyday I read passages from 1000 + Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. This parable fits right in there with the wisdom, honesty and kindness in your book. The picture of the flowers and path speak volumes. Thank you, Marc and Angel.
Lori says
I am glad you have accepted the “cracks” in your life. I have only accepted about half of mine. Thanks for the encouraging message.
SHIRLEY M WILLIAMS says
AMEN!!!
Anna says
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful parable. The timing on this spot on for me. As I read this, I feel my shoulders lowering, my jaw less clenched and a taking a deep breath. I’ve been feeling less than for a few months, especially after a few blows personally and professionally that have left me feeling unworthy. Thank you Marc and Angel, for the wonderful encouragement.
Anna says
I am also an Anna, and while I didn’t write this, I could have, nearly word for word. Hugs to you, other Anna.
Robin Rand says
You will get your own standard desires.
Janet says
Yes, it is so good to know others also doubt their value. And most of you are probably younger than me, still in jobs, relationships, going places and doing things I can’t anymore. Actually I am about to jump out of everything familiar for a new adventure.
After decades of being useful to everybody else, always “You can wait”, and never got the garden, the few chickens, I’m about to move several states away alone at 73. A much smaller city with ? and at least twice the size yard. …For about 1/4 the price! And partly disabled, can walk around the house but only for a short time at once & need to lean on something.
All you in better shape with much more fully able time left, if a crippled old woman on veteran’s disability can totally reinvent herself, plan move alone where ? strangers, what can you do?
Smile at someone next chance. It can take very little to give just the drop of water?someone needs to persist One More day, one more try. Ripple effect is a thing.
David Richard Bourque Sr. says
Yes Janet!
You’re living proof it’s all mindset. Thank you for reminding me. – David, 56 and very able!
Amit says
Love this story and lesson. It’s so easy to make our opinions and self-judgments based on what we see from one angle, and miss the larger purpose.
Imelda Terry says
Thank you for this story today.
My favorite line from a Leonard Cohen song addresses this feeling beautifully…
“Ring the bells you still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”
Margriet Dekker says
I also love this line!
John says
This story kinda reminds me of The Velveteen Rabbit tale. Until you’re all roughed up and worn a bit you are not real. I’ll be honest, with you. Being real is hard some days. It’s “why cant I be like everyone else?” But then I’ve found I am like everyone else. I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have to work with. My flowers along the path look different than your but we both grow beautiful flowers because we’re both beautiful people.
My bucket has lots of cracks in it and is even patched in a few spots, but it’s mine! All mine.
Shelley says
Thank you for the wonderful story..I’ve been feeling sad, and bad about myself lately..I’m grieving my mom, but have also lost some friends in the past couple years that I’m ruminating about..I don’t understand what happened between us.
I know I need to put it behind me, but it bothers me..I don’t know what I did wrong. I know a lot of friendships don’t last forever.
Anyway, there are a lot of other “flowers” still in my life – many I have planted over the years – and I want to appreciate them more.
MURRAY says
Wow, I have just read this comment more than once. It is simply the way I have been feeling lately. Thank you for being brave enough to share part of your journey. I know every day is a new start but the past creeps in when I least expect it. Takes work and prayer to accept what is. Thanks again for your input.
Gerry says
I feel your pain since I’ve been there. We can’t understand the past. We can only accept it and know that some things and people are only meant to be with for a season. We have to let go what we no longer need in our life and move forward. Trying to make sense of it will only keep us stuck. Each day is a gift…open it.
Stephanie Carnahan-Mccurdy says
Gerry, your reminders ring with deep truths of Life. Ruminating by trying to make sense of past hurts and pains we all experience is like a car spinning its tires in the mud and not going anywhere. ” Each day IS a gift… Open it” is truth. By finding gratitude even with the smallest of things gives happiness in the present moment like stepping stones for us as we walk this path to living.,
Nancy says
I enjoy reading your articles as they are very inspiring. I have never commented on here because I’ve always felt that I can’t express my words as well as others do on this site. Anyway, I just want to say that I feel “good enough” (cracks and all) and I’m going to remind myself of this daily.
Thank you for another wonderful and inspiring story.
-Nancy
Vivekanandam K.M.G. says
It takes courage to accept the cracks in life. There is a saying, look at the glass as ‘half full’ instead of ‘half empty’. Your article gives me a positive and new outlook on life. Brings a big smile and a good perspective. Thanks.
Kelly says
Thank you! I needed that. I must remember to look for the flowers through the cracks. I am worthy. I do good!
Rene says
Thank you, for the encouragement. I struggle everyday, healthy 60 years young, no one wants a person like me to work in accounting. Too old, don’t fit the team. Excuse after excuse or no call backs. So sad… feel like wasted space. But this story gives me hope. I know I have value.
Linda S Fifer says
Finding those flowers that bloom as a result of the cracks sometimes takes years to discover. I’m lucky I’ve lived long enough to find them, as subtle as they can be.
David says
Short, and very meaningful, which is nice. I really like your illustration.
I believe that this is where faith comes into the picture. We may sometimes feel like a liability when we view ourselves as not living up to our full potential, as we would like to be. But in reality all things are working together for our good. From the point of view of faith, disappointments are a part of learning and growing, a humbling at times or a “test of our mettle” at others. Learning to trust and realize that God has a plan and a reason for everything, we learn to rise above the situation and find a joy in knowing that he has a hand in our lives and is teaching us the lessons that we need to learn in order to become what he desires us to be in this life.
Thanks so much. Hugs
Agnes Dass says
Thanks for a good post. Each of us have our own unique cracks, as we all are born uniquely. Instead of feeling that we are not good enough, it is good to find ways to use our cracks, through which light shines in, to benefit others. God creates us with flaws and cracks, so that he can beautify the world through them. None of us is perfect no not one. He strengthens the weak and uses them for his purposes on earth. I am glad I am one of them. He transformed me from being a shy, soft and sensitive woman to an emotionally strong woman, and is using me to teach scripture at schools in Australia.
Bennie Esposto says
I love this story about the cracks. Going thru a tough time myself right now. Thank you for encouraging words. Bennie.
Lucinda G says
For me, quitting Facebook and other social media was the best thing I could do to regain my self-confidence. On Facebook, I was bombarded all day by curated posts that made me feel “less than” — even though I knew better. It seemed that everyone was posting photos and announcements of great achievements and perfect lives, not to mention parties I wasn’t invited to. I spent too much time lurking and watching what other people were accomplishing, and not nearly enough time minding my own business.
Once I quit social media (except for LinkedIn), I started focusing on my own emotional growth. My productivity increased, and I started making MORE plans in person with real friends, rather than sitting on my couch and looking at other people’s lives on Facebook.
My self-confidence is so much better now, and I am happier!