We are not just what we know, but what we are willing to learn.
When my Grandma Zelda passed away a decade ago at the age of 90, she left me with a box of miscellaneous items from her house that she knew I had grown to appreciate over the years. Among these items was an old leather-bound journal that she aptly named her Inspiration Journal.
Throughout the second half of her life, Grandma Zelda used this journal to jot down ideas, thoughts, quotes, song lyrics, and anything else that moved her. She would read excerpts from her journal to me when I was growing up, and I would listen and ask questions. I honestly credit a part of who I am now to the wisdom she bestowed on me when I was young.
Although I’ve shared some of her wisdom in the past here on the blog and with our newsletter subscribers, today is the day she became an angel ten years ago. So to honor her, I want to share some of my favorite excerpts from her journal that I actually remember her sharing with me before she died. I’ve done my best to sort, copyedit, and reorganize her thoughts into twelve inspiring bullet points. I hope you find value in them…
1. Breathe in the future, breathe out the past.
No matter where you are or what you’re going through, always believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Never expect, assume, or demand. Just do your best, control the elements you can control, and then let it be. Because once you have done what you can, if it is meant to be, it will happen, or it will show you the next step that needs to be taken.
2. Life CAN be simple again.
Just choose to focus on one thing at a time. You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it all right now. Breathe, be present, and do your best with what’s in front of you. What you put into life, life will often give you back many times over. (Read “The Power of Now” — a book that once sat on my grandma’s nightstand.)
3. Let others take you as you are, or not at all.
Speak and walk your truth even if your voice and legs shake. By being yourself you put something beautiful into the world that was not there before. So walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going.
4. You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.
You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened — things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed. Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed. That’s what life is all about. But I’m still the same person, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”
5. Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it’s hard to see right now.
Circumstances will direct you, correct you, and perfect you over time. So whatever you do, hold on to hope. The tiniest thread will twist into an unbreakable cord. Let hope anchor you in the possibility that this is not the end of your story – that the change in the tides will eventually bring you to peaceful shores.
6. Happiness is a priceless asset.
Don’t just educate yourself to be rich, educate yourself to be happy. That way when you get older you’ll know the true value of things, not the price. You will come to realize that the best days are the days when you don’t need anything extreme or special to happen to make you smile. You simply appreciate the moments and feel gratitude, seeking nothing else, nothing more. That is what true happiness is all about in the end. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Happiness and Growth chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
7. Be determined to be positive on the average day.
Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude. So give yourself a break today. Instead of dwelling on people who have let you down, refocus your time and energy on appreciating those who lift you up. Remember, you can’t control the impolite things some people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be distracted by them.
8. Pay close attention to people you care about.
Sometimes when a loved one says, “I’m okay,” they need you to look them in the eyes, hug them tight, and reply, “I know you’re not.” And don’t be too upset if some people only seem to remember you when they need you. Feel privileged that you are like a beacon of light that comes to their minds when there is darkness in their lives.
9. Autonomy is a gift you can give.
Sometimes you have to let a person go so they can grow. Because over the course of their life, it’s not what you do for them, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them a successful human being.
10. You will outgrow some relationships.
Sometimes getting the results you crave means distancing yourself from people that don’t serve your best interests. This allows you to make space for those who support you in being the absolute best version of yourself. It happens gradually as you grow. You find out who you are and what you need, and then you realize that people you’ve known for awhile don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.
11. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to listen to your intuition.
It’s usually better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.” In the end people will judge you in some way anyway. So don’t live your life trying to impress others. Instead live your life impressing yourself. Love yourself enough to never lower your standards for anyone.
12. Endings often create beginnings to wonderful journeys.
If you’re looking for a happy ending and can’t seem to find one, maybe it’s time to start looking for a new beginning. Brush yourself off and accept that you have to fail from time to time — that’s how you learn. The strongest people out there — the ones with a genuine smile — are often the same people who have fought the toughest battles. They’re smiling because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down. They’re letting go and moving forward, one step at a time.
Promise yourself…
As I’m wrapping up this short tribute to my grandma, I’m also reminded of a poem excerpt by Christian D. Larson that she used to have hanging on her refrigerator when I was a kid. As soon as I was old enough to understand the poem, my grandma made a photocopy of it for me, and over 30 years later I still have that same photocopy laminated and hanging on my office bulletin board. These are words my grandma said she strived to live by:
Promise Yourself…
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to do the best you can.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forgive the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the present.
To wear a friendly countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too focused for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too at peace to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
Now it’s your turn!
Before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of my grandma’s points resonated the most today?
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Marie says
Thank you for sharing yours and your Grandma’s wisdom.
I have grown up with a family who love me, I think, but who have very negative vibes. I have been trying to re educate myself for many years and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
You are my wisdom family and now I am about to be a granny I can pass on your inspiring truths to my new family.
Thank you also to everyone who posts here too. It’s so encouraging to hear other people’s ideas and stories. I feel a sense of unified love. Sending you all big hugs.
Bonnie says
Your Grandma was a great person of deep wisdom. You were blessed to have her in your life and you are passing that blessing forward with great love. Her blessings live on in you and your thoughtful sharing. All the best to you.
Edward m lowry says
I loved the entire article. It all resonated with me… We all do better to take the time to be who we are, to be our best , and to draw the best out of others. It’s easier to do that when we have empathy and compassion for others.
Carla L Strauch says
That touched my heart. I will print it and put on my refrigerator. Also share it with my daughter. Since her grandmother is not as giving with her time and energy these days.
Cynthia says
Loved this!!!! I needed this today. My mind has been all over the place. Reading this makes you stop the world from spinning out of control. It made me realize that I can stop the negative I feel at times, and just be my self and take care of my self. Thank you for sharing!!! Love you guys.
Barbara says
Your Grandma’s life seems well lived imo. Her love and wisdom feeds my soul today. I did not have the influence of either of my Grandmothers and as a Grand and Great Grandma I hope to be a gift to my Grand children. At 85, these last chapters of life, remind me how important it is to share our knowledge and wisdom with our offspring. My gift to my family and myself was something that was part of growing up in an Italian family. We have continued the tradition of Sunday Supper that we share each and every Sunday. It is precious time shared as these days few take time to reconnect. I feel truly blessed to have this connection to share stories and experiences with my now grown Grandkids and hopefully I’ll have time to do so with the Great Grandkids. Blessings to you for your gift of sharing.
Sylvia Bauer says
I really love and appreciate this post! The love and respect you have for your grandma is so beautiful and her life lessons so poignant. My grandma taught me some very valuable lessons also. She was the one who really gave me a sense of self esteem and faith in my potential.
I love your grandma’s advice to grret every living thing you meet with a smile – this is such a joyful way to approach life!
Thank you so much for sharing your grandma’s wisdom with us. This has the makings of a great book. My grandma always wanted to write a book about her life and I wish I could have helped her realize this dream?
Ernie T.Tumlos says
I truly appreciate you sharing your grandmas’s wisdom.its showed a very positive outlook on life and how to value and love yourself forgiving your past mistakes and failures and seeing the beautiful and sunny side of life. Surely she’s had a great faith and embrace life beautifully and how to be the best version of yourself and also bringing the best from others Kudos to a happy and vibrant life with people who truly values you and appreciate you as you are! God bless.
Megan says
I love this. I’m a soon to be 49 year old woman with 3 little girls. And I have done a lot of growing and self resonating in the last few years. This has inspired me to get a journal myself and write down things and thoughts and new discoveries. It can go to my girls and then their children. Maybe leaving a piece of me with them. I thank you for sharing your grandmother. She was a wise woman. I’m sorry for your loss of her years back. Thank you.
TJ Chasteen says
Thanks for sharing Marc.
I lived with my Great Papaw until I was 17 – when he died suddenly at 85. He taught me a similar list of lessons and this has inspired me to devote a journaling session to him. Your grandma was a wise woman, I am glad you had the blessing of her in your life.
Best,
TJ
Brenda Cannon Henley says
I was reared by my maternal grandmother and love any and everything you share about yours. Wisdom was much more of an open commodity during their generations.
I am an Inspirational Editor and Writer for two Texas newspapers, 13 statewide magazines, several blog spots, my church, and several other outlets. I have enjoyed reading your material since a friend sent me my first piece from you some time ago.
I have quoted bits and pieces from your thoughts and collections and have always given you attribution.
You both are a blessing and I appreciate you.
Debra Holland says
Beautiful words of wisdom. Several resonated deeply.
One thing my grandmother used to tell us (from the experience of her family losing everything in WWll) was, “Always get your education, because that cannot be taken away from you.”
Frances Logan says
Number 11 resonated a lot for me. “It’s usually better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”
Last year I took a lot of brave bold steps that created a lot of change in my life. I was feeling very good about the changes mostly but then recently started doubting myself as some of the results are not part of what I’d hoped for. Number 11 reminded me that if i hadn’t taken the steps I wouldn’t have had any of the wonderful experiences I had and that I still have a lot of flexibility for how to go forward.
michelle says
I love your Grammy Zelda’s beautiful words! Thank you so much for sharing them that’s pretty awesome she kept an inspirational journal…she was ahead of her time. We are all lucky to have the chance to meet/learn from her! Thank you for sharing her with us.
CC says
Thank you for sharing so much love and wisdom to guide me along this rocky road of life. I have never had a Grandmother and my Mother died when I was only two. Although I am now 70 , this absence of maternal wisdom, has sorely been missing in my life. Please accept all my gratitude and love for sharing your grandma with us in this post and previous emails I’ve received from you all.
Sarah Johnson says
Dear CC
I’m very sorry to hear that you didn’t have a grandmother or your mum beside you growing up. That must have been so hard, (and perhaps continues to be?)
On Facebook there is a group for Adults Bereaved as Children – ABC. I think you’ll find kindred spirits who understand. I know I have. Look it up.
Thank you to Marc and Angel for their insights and encouragement.
Nelly says
The best thing I have read in the past several days. Thank you for sharing this life changing wisdom.
Elle Pea says
Marc, you have no idea how much this post means to me today. You see, today also marks 10 years since my 95 year old grandmother passed away.
For a very long time I have been a people pleaser, but have recently been doing the work to learn to love myself and not be afraid to show up as my true, authentic self. # 3 really resonates with me! I am a big believer in signs and I can’t help but feel like my grandmother is sending me this as a reminder. These words might not have had the same impact on a different day of the year.
Thank you, for sharing these wonderful bits of wisdom!
Maria says
Sitting here wiping a couple tears as I type this…I have been a follower of yours for more time than I can remember, and this came at a perfect time for me. My mom just passed away last month, and she and I were never close, unfortunately. I wish I’d had a grandmother like yours to bestow this type of wisdom on me, but I do believe my dad did instill some of this in me. Life is hard, but it’s up to US to live it and respond it in the most appropriate ways. I’ll be copying this into my notes file, as well as printing it out to put into my gratitude journal.
Much love from Arizona.
Edith Corley says
What a beautiful way to pay tribute to a wise and beautiful soul. You are blessed to have had her and your readers are blessed by these words.
My son is getting ready to leave the nest and I have been saving lots of quotes, poems, pieces of advice and so on that I am making into somewhat of a “guide.” Not that he needs to be reminded how he was raised or who he is but to remind him of how unique and absolutely amazing he is, he’s such an old soul and so many of these things resonate. They bring me back to my own center, especially when they day gets hard and the paychecks grow short. It is easy to forget how blessed and loved we are or how much happiness there is within ourselves and those who love us on the same day we got passed up for the promotion or a certain thing you really hoped would happen doesn’t. It’s easy to lose yourself in all of that and I maybe these things I share with him will remind him. The one I like the most though is to be as happy for the person who accomplished their own goal as you would be if it were you! That’s not the only one that is getting its own place on cardstock!
David says
1. “Breathe in the future, breathe out the past.
No matter where you are or what you’re going through, always believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Never expect, assume, or demand. Just do your best, control the elements you can control, and then let it be. Because once you have done what you can, if it is meant to be, it will happen, or it will show you the next step that needs to be taken.”
I’m expecting a change and I like the idea of breathing in the future and breathing out the past. I appreciate the thought of change, it reminds me of a rhyme I learned a long time ago… I’ll go where you want me to go dear Lord over mountains or plaines or seas. I’ll say what you want me to say dear Lord, I’ll be what you want me to be. It sure relates and my true ambition in this life. Your essay, as always is terrific. Hugs.
Theresa Serrano Kanosh says
Dear Marc and Angel, I look forward to reading your message every day; it’s a habit that I do daily, mostly. I wrote down the poem, and I will share it with my therapist when I see him on the 28th of this month. Thank you for sharing this great nugget of wisdom.
Shenaz Hilluwala says
Marc this one of the best things I have read recetnly in my life at the age of seventy three. I simply have no words. It’s a beautiful note …. IRREPLACEABLE.
sagar kumar says
Feels very touching emotionally and intellectually. Grateful to each and everyone associated with it for sharing such an amazing article. I can resonate with the 4th one the most and i want to bear no 8 in my heart. Thank you.