As we all look forward to the next step in life, I know many of us are yearning for a simpler and selective range of experiences — the happy days, the normal times, the settings and events that make us feel more comfortable. And yet, the full range of our reality often brings something very different. The days in front of us will inevitably provide an extensive array of experiences that evoke feelings ranging from sadness and struggle to growth and pride, and more.
So we have a choice starting today. We can revolt against reality — the reality of having to deal with discomfort, of having to cope with uncertainty, of having to feel upset sometimes. Or we can embrace every experience life gives us, including all our highs and lows — all the blissful moments, and frustrating ones, and everything in between. Life is not just happy and comfortable 24/7. It’s well-rounded and it’s ever-changing.
Embracing the full range of life’s experiences means embracing every moment with our full presence, being open and vulnerable to reality, being gentle with ourselves when moments are tougher than we expected, and practicing sincere gratitude whenever possible…
It means accepting life as it is, and accepting ourselves as we are.
It means not expecting the best to happen every step of the way, but instead accepting what happens with each step, and making the best of it.
And it won’t always be easy of course, but it’s worth remembering and practicing daily so we are prepared when a day comes that’s much harder than we expected.
The key is keeping the right thoughts at the top of our minds.
Over the past 15+ years, Marc and I have written various “notes to self” like the ones listed below (some of which are now excerpts from our books), and then we review them daily until they become ingrained in our minds. These memorized notes have helped us stay on track in various areas of life by empowering us to make the best and most effective use of the ever-changing reality in front of us. So starting today, I hope you can find some value in them too. I challenge you to memorize at least a few of these notes in the days and weeks ahead. Turn them into wallpaper on your phone, or simply write the words down on sticky notes and leave them in areas where you can see them daily…
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Now it’s your turn…
Although none of the aforementioned “notes to self” immediately force you to do anything different, they can provide a timely shift in perspective, and good perspective is where progress begins. For example, with the right mindset you can change your posture from one of tension and resistance to one of acceptance and opportunity as you move through the days and weeks ahead. Ultimately, the goal isn’t to get rid of all your negative thoughts, feelings or life situations. The goal is to gradually change your perspective and response to them.
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of these notes. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the notes above resonated the most today?
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Christine says
I really like these notes. I wish I could print them and put them all over my house to remind me of the messages.
Every one resonates with me, whether it’s about dealing with other people and their behavior, forgiving myself and decluttering the mind.
The one that stood out is the one about postponing my life.
I have done that forever. I was always going to go here or there when I got to a certain size. I’m not sure I’ll ever be that certain size. I’ve had two knees and one hip replaced. I am very overweight, but I’ve wanted to go to Hawaii for at least 50 years. Never been.
It’s on my bucket list, just hope I don’t kick the bucket first.
The other one that struck me is the one about competing with myself. I was compared to other people all of my life. My mother compared me to my smarter friend. My husband compared me to his mother and sisters. I compared myself to everyone else who was tall, thin, had nicer skin, hair, clothes, and had a better paying job.
I’m retired now, but the old tapes play just as loud now as they did then. Taking care of just me is a lot of work. Some days I just don’t have the energy.
Thanks for all of these and your website. I wish I found it several years ago.
Eileen Santos says
You are great in our own unique way, Christine, and like you I am also guilty comparing myself to other people… we need to compromise to other people’s expectation because both have points… and these notes uplift our spirits and help us appreciate ourselves wholeheartedly… thanks Marc & Angel.
Diana says
Go to Hawaii! I grew up there, didn’t want to be there, learned to respect many cultures and ethnicities which has served me greatly.
As far as weight: Start a walking program. Keep it simple. You can add distance and weights as you progress and change routes. One thing leads to the next! Lots of excellent runners and marathoners started out walking to lose weight, you never know.
But yes, go to Hawaii, start walking there—on the beach!
Genaros says
I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for the ‘notes’ you have sent via email and socials over the past several months. They have been incredibly helpful in my personal growth journey. Your insights and guidance have made a significant impact, and I truly appreciate the time and effort you put into sharing them with me. All of them are amazing in today’s post here, but the last one stands out the most. Thank you once again for your continued encouragement.
Tara says
Marc and Angel,
Thank you for these daily notes and everything else you write. I was hooked by this one today: “let go of what you assume life should look like right now…” This has been my struggle lately, it’s as if you heard the most recent argument with my boyfriend. I promise I will be adding one of more of these to my daily gratitude and/or journaling practice to keep me focused on the best things.
Pat says
Thank you for these wonderful thought provoking articles. These notes are truly a great way to begin and get started on living in the present.
Your 4th note resonates with me deeply right now as I have grown older – now 71 I realize that the petty stuff that once used to get to me…no longer does. I just let it go and it all settles and I move forward.
I will surely take the challenge of truly living the rest of my life purposely and gratefully.
Thomas Owens says
I deeply resonate with the way you opened this article, by challenging us to accept every life situation now and in the month or so ahead. Too often I find myself side-stepping situations, relationships, and realities in my life that aren’t perfect and ideal. I resist the truth far more then I likely realize, and quite frankly I think many others I know do the same thing. We avoid the truth rather than opening ourselves to the possibility of making the very best of it.
Anyhow, I’ve been a long-time reader of your work, and my wife and I sit down together every week and use your essays, emails and excerpts from your books to reflect on our lives. This piece here has allowed us do just that today. Thank you.
georgina says
The very first note really got me. It’s as if it was written for me ’cause right now i’m wallowing in regret for a bad decision i made and i can’t seem to move on or forgive myself for the mess i’ve made. But i hope to recover from this bad situation, learn to let go and accept what i can no longer take back all that i’ve lost. In time i know i will emerge stronger from all these and hope i will find a better life ahead. reading your notes certainly help.. giving me better perspective. Thank you.
Maureen Fyock says
I am sharing this with my daughter and 3 granddaughters. In these times, I think women need more encouragement and validation for who we are and what we can become.
Jean says
I have only recently been reading your essays, emails, and notes. After living 77 yrs so much of what you say resonates with me. So much I have learnt along the way. Your comment #3 I have had to do this past year or so, and even felt bad that I have decided to subtract people and activities that didn’t sit right with me anymore. It has been worth it though and I did just sit with the emotions that came.
It is good to be reminded with your notes. Thank you, never too old to keep changing and learning.
Mary Ann says
Lots of ‘aha’ moments reading your ‘notes’ – but the last one particularly resonates with me about being 100% ready. I need to print ALL of those out and put them up on my inspiration wall in my office. I have LOTS of notes in my workspace to remind me about gratitude, centering, letting go, etc… One note I particularly love right now is ‘Never stop chasing things that seem beyond your reach’. I don’t know who said but it so resonates with me. Another one is ‘Accept what is, let go of what was & have faith in the journey.’ ~ This past year or so for sure was rough for me and so many people. But ultimately, I know that I have SO many things to be thankful for, my health being one of them for sure. A comment on one of your other articles recently talked about writing letters to those in nursing homes. I’m going to look into that. I think the very best thing we can do right now is to be present for others. Even if it is just in a letter, over the phone or virtually. Anyway, I’m very hopeful there are some positive takeaways that are gonna allow me to move forward.
Pip Fox says
Great idea about the letters! A book that really helped me was: 365 Thank-yous – sincerely written, by hand – explaining in detail how you have been helped in life by whatever act of kindness it was they did for you.
A letter can be to a mentor or teacher who supported your efforts with encouragement, to a parent, relative or friend or a special neighbour. It can be to your old professor or a boss you really respect who taught you the ropes. Or that person who gave you a career break that set you on your way.
Put a lot of thought into it, describe in detail how they helped you and why it matters. Then post or hand deliver.
This is a powerful way not only to remind ourselves how far we’ve come but also to give thanks precisely where it’s due.
And it’s a transformative practice, beleive me – just watch and see what happens in the weeks and months afterwards!
D says
Well most those “notes” have meaning for me, and thanks for sending them. For now, I’m learning to appreciate the input of other people over my own thoughts and mindset; I feel like I’m being drawn out of a past complacency. My posture is changing and seems to be more flexible. These little daily steps of diligence and being faithful to keep them up seems to have strengthened my determination to go forward. I’m looking forward to more little changes and big ones, if I’m so led, in order to proceed into a “healthier lifestyle”. Thanks to you and to a few others in my life, I don’t feel as limited as I did before… more open to change.
Kelley says
The part about being young and reckless, and self-forgiveness… just the way i needed to hear it phrased today. Thanks.
David says
A lot of good information, good advice. I think number one is where I’d like to think I’m at. I hope I’m at, as the days seem to be fluid with many happenings. 1. “Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciate it for everything that it is so relax. You’re enough, you have enough, you do enough. Breath deep… let go, and just live right now in this moment.”
A very good resolution to take on, and to make a real part of my life. Thanks. Hugs.
M says
I am going through a separation this week and trying to do all of the right things. Get a counselor, go to Al anon, set up my own accounts, let my close friends know/help, I am in and out of crying. Reading the message about letting go of where you thought you would be right now was a direct hit. Thank you for your positive messages.
Monica says
I typed up all twelve of these encouraging messages. I plan to print them out and place them around my home. I will also write them in cards to send to friends and family. At age 71, the one that resonates the most right now is the one about needing to do hard things. I know this, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. Thank you! ??