Peace will come to me, when it comes from me.
Life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It can be tough sometimes. And you’ve paid a heavy price to get this far, so your best option is to make it count by moving forward from where you are. Free yourself from the world’s negativity — from the sources of ignorance telling you what you can and cannot do — by promising to look ahead, plan ahead, and get ahead for your own sake. In other words, start making positive promises to yourself!
Promise to fight back, to fight harder, to laugh louder and longer, and to slap negativity back into its seat whenever it dares to stand against you. Promise to be a force to be reckoned with, because you are a force to be reckoned with!
Make these promises to yourself, and keep them forever:
Repeat after me: “I promise…”
1. “I will not hold the past against myself.”
Your problems, your weaknesses, setbacks, regrets and mistakes will teach you if you’re willing to learn, or they will punish you if you’re not. So let them teach you. Take everything as a lesson learned. If you regret some of the decisions you have made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself. At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had. At that time, you did your best with the experience you had. Your decisions were made with a younger mind. If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have today, you would choose differently. So give yourself a break. Time and experience both have a wonderful way of helping us learn and grow, for ourselves and those we care for.
2. “I will take full ownership of my life today.”
No, you aren’t responsible for everything that happened in the past, but you are responsible for everything you choose to do today. But through the grapevine you may have learned that you should first blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself. Right? It’s never your fault… WRONG! It’s always your fault in a way, because if you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen. It’s YOUR move to make. Today is YOUR responsibility. Own it!
3. “I will speak kindly and consciously to myself.”
Wait, what did you just say to yourself? Were they the inspiring, encouraging words you would speak to a friend? Or were they the belittling remarks you might shout to an enemy if you had no heart. Or the negative assessments about life you would utter if you had no faith? All day long we speak silently to ourselves, and a part of us believes every word. So stay mindful, and ask yourself, “If I had a friend who always spoke to me in the same way that I am speaking to myself right now, how long would I allow that person to be my friend?”
4. “I will listen to what my heart and soul is telling me.”
Forget popularity. Focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it is what is right for you. When something feels right, it often means it is right for you, and at the very least worth looking into. If you genuinely feel deep down that something is wrong, it probably is. Pay attention to your authentic feelings, and explore where they lead. When you’re following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first.
5. “I will live a life that feels right to me (not just one that looks right to others).”
Give yourself permission to follow the path that makes YOU happy. And realize that some people in your life will refuse to walk beside you as you journey forward; they simply won’t approve no matter what you say, and that’s OK. Sometimes when you commit yourself to creating your own happiness, it clashes with the perceptions of someone else. Sometimes when you gain something great, you have to let go of something else. And sometimes this “something else” is a relationship that only wants you to do what they want you to do.
6. “I will let go of relationships that are obviously not meant to be.”
Most people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something. They come and they go and they make a difference. And it’s OK that they’re not in your life anymore. Not all relationships last, but the lessons these relationships bring to you do. If you learn to open your heart and mind, anyone, including the folks who eventually drive you away, can teach you something worthwhile. Sometimes it will feel weird when you realize you spent so much time with someone you are no longer connected to, but that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. We all are. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
7. “I will not let any situation permanently steal my confidence.”
Even when times are tough, take a moment to pause and remember who YOU are. Take a moment to reflect on the things that have real and lasting meaning in your life. And then give yourself credit how far you’ve come. Honestly, nothing in this world is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears. Any fool can be confident when times are easy, but takes a strong soul with real heart to to show confidence in situations that make us weary. No matter how long it takes, it will get better. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.
8. “I will celebrate and appreciate the life I have.”
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them. Take a breath of fresh air. The past is behind you. Focus on what you can do today, not on what you could’ve or should’ve done yesterday. Remember, for everything you’ve lost, you’ve gained something else. Appreciate what you have and who you are right now. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. Look around, and be thankful right… For your health, your family, your friends, and your home. Nothing lasts forever.
9. “I will realize and use my power to make a difference.”
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. Don’t be a statistic. The world needs you right now. In a world filled with doubt, you must dare to dream. In a world filled with anger, you must dare to forgive. In a world filled with hate, you must dare to love. In a world filled with distrust, you must dare to believe. And once you dare yourself in such ways, I promise, you will find some of that power you once thought you lacked.
10. “I will dedicate myself to doing my best.”
Anything worth doing, is worth doing right. And success in life is never an accident; it’s the result of high intention, focused effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution, and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities. It’s also important to note that personal success cannot be judged by looking at where you are at any given point in time, but by measuring the distance you have traveled from the point where you started. It’s about being diligent and making progress — either a step forward or a lesson learned, day in and day out. (Read “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.)
11. “I will keep stretching myself toward growth.”
Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Know this! When you’re struggling, that’s often when you’re growing stronger and smarter. And the more time you spend there the faster you learn and grow. Every day, you want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability for a little while, slightly stretching yourself over and over again, making mistakes, stumbling a bit, learning from those mistakes, and stretching yourself even farther.
12. “I will embrace the changes I know I need to make.”
Life is a balancing act of holding on and letting go, of staying put and moving on. We strive to make the right choices, but how do we know when it is truly time to move forward with our lives? The signs aren’t always easy to accept, but they are often quite obvious. Relationships, jobs, obligations, and even the cities we live in have expiration dates. Sometimes we hold on to what’s not working out of fear that we won’t be able to adapt to life’s necessary changes. And thus, the outcome is always the same: more pain, more frustration, and more regret. Be smarter than that. Embrace the changes you know you need to make. And whatever you do, don’t wait around too long. New paths are made by walking, not waiting. You shouldn’t feel any more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step, and the next, is what gradually builds your confidence.
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn today! In a world where vows are often left unfulfilled, where making a pledge means less than it used to, where promises seem like they’re made to be broken… it would be nice to see words come back into power, wouldn’t it? Let this be your wake-up call to actually fulfill the promises you make to yourself…
Promise yourself and then prove it!
But before you go, please leave us a reply below and let us know what you think of this post.
Your feedback is important to Marc and me. 🙂
Which of the points above resonated with you the most?
What promises do you want (or need) to make to yourself?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.
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Photo by: Greg Gibb
J.J. says
Wonderful tips, Marc and Angel! So many of them I think we learn with life experience and age, such as not caring too much about what others think, or to never hold the past against yourself. When we’re young we think we should be able to go through life without messing up, and peer pressure makes us very aware of what others think; with age that becomes less of a concern.
I would also add to the list to “promise to always see the best in others.” If we could all do that, even just a little bit, I think the world would be a far more giving, loving, and rewarding place.
Joan says
Great reminder list! Thank you
OLIVIA FAVIS says
Thank you for this. So inspiring! I will always read this to remind myself of what life is really about.
Dev says
This post really resonated with me. I have spent the past year of my life promising myself I will maintain the courage necessary to chase a big goal I’ve been thinking about for a long while. So far so good these past few months. Thank you for giving me the push I needed!
Fay Daliva says
All of your points here are great, but I give the highest importance and weight to – “I will live a life that feels right to me, not one that looks right to others.” This hit home like a grand slam. I feel, literally, like you were speaking to me about a big career decision I’m in the middle of making. Thank you for your wonderful offerings on your website, newsletters, and book. You are helping me make life-changing promises to myself, and keep them.
akim says
What a wonderful post! After reading these promises, I am reminded of the changes I am working on making in my life, and why.
Gai Nguyen says
I always have one promise to myself: Keep my promises.
Samantha says
I loved reading each one of these points~ the one most special to me is 10: “I will dedicate myself to personal excellence.” – Anything worth doing, is worth doing right. And excellence is never an accident. It’s the result of high intention, focused effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution, and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities.”
This is the sort of mindset I’m striving towards! Some days it’s not so easy, and I wonder if what I’m doing is really worth it…. but then:
“It’s also important to note that excellence cannot be judged by looking at where you are at any given point in time…”
I’m so glad to have advice from someone who just ‘gets it’. Someone who can put these ideas into words in such an encouraging way.
So I guess there’s only one thing left for me to do: keep that promise forever.
Vishnu says
#3 is so important and that’s what I feel is the most important path to our personal worth and success. Unfortunately that inner voice has been shaped by parents, family and teachers our entire life and a lot of it negative. By being more mindful of that critical voice, being more compassionate to ourselves and practicing being gentler with ourselves, we can not only change our subconscious thoughts but ourselves. speaking kindly to yourself can only lead to treating yourself more kindly. thank you for this timeless post, Marc!
Debie Grace says
Mine is “I will not hold the past against myself.” I have so many regrets — relationships that ended that I thought is because of me. But it just turns out that it’s not just me, it’s also because of them as well. Some things are not meant to last longer no matter how good it were. Glad that I had those experiences to treasure in life but I’m more glad that I’m letting the connection go because I know it’s the right thing.
Captain Kirk says
Thank you sharing your wisdom and life coaching lessons with all of us. As we apply these principles in our lives, our quality of life will improve.
After many years of life and experience, I have come to the reality that EVERYONE is uniquely wounded and uniquely imperfect. Consequently, we may need to perform some repair and maintenance on our lives….or possibly courageously consider an Extreme Makeover.
My mission statement moving forward is:
Transform the WOUNDS into WISDOM. Be COURAGEOUS and STRONG!
And….apply the lessons learned in life (including the from the University of Adversity) to change, grow, improve, mature, and become a VICTOR….instead of a VICTIM.
Thank you also for the your insight on SMILES (ref: #7). A smile does improve our “face value” and can offer the gift of love, peace, and JOY to others. With this in mind, I offer you an acronym for SMILE.
Share…….with others.
Meet……..with a smile
Inspire…..with a smile
Live……….live to smile……..and smile to live.
Energize…Your life… and share that energy.
Rapp says
I love the idea of these promises, but I struggle with the lack of the action plan.
So making these promises is only the first step in a complex process. You have to repeat and reinforce them in your own mind when confronted by life situations that challenge them. This is the cross over from thought to belief.
When you believe them strongly enough, you can take action. Coming up with the action plan to “implement” them into your life will be the real challenge. For instance, letting go of toxic people…OK if its my sister HOW do I do that? This notion of HOW is what drives your behavior, it puts ideas into action.
Margot says
Fantastic tips… so true and helpful.
Also, got your first book and I can only describe it as a lifelong book of positive learning. Keep up the good work and I will be looking forward to reading your 2nd book, 1000 little things, too.
Cathy says
“It’s also important to note that excellence cannot be judged by looking at where you are at any given point in time, but by measuring the distance you have traveled from the point where you started.”
That is sooo on point!
LD says
Wonderful and wise post…resonates deeply with me, particularly as am in transition, on many levels, following a recent and traumatic ending of my long term relationship.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and encouraging me to embrace change and my newfound freedom with such positivity and authenticity.
Mia Fillinger says
Marc, I have been reading your articles for some time now and they are powerful and poignant. #5 resonates the most ” I will live the life that feels right to me…”. I believe that somewhere along the way we are all guilty of allowing others to dissuade us from doing just that. We find ways to justify that by talking ourselves out of what feels right to us under the premise that he/she might know better, when in fact that is the furthest thing away from the truth. Thank you for your insight and for the positivity your articles bring me in spite of life’s vicissitudes.
Bennie Esposto says
Thank you so much for this message. Going thru a rough time; the message i needed to hear. Bennie
David says
So many meaningful points to this very uplifting and encouraging essay. I could have chosen at least 3 or 4 that exemplify my situation. I settled for #7 as it’s about confidence, and that’s somewhat what I was lacking.
7. “I will not let any situation permanently steal my confidence.”
Even when times are tough… Take a moment to reflect on the things that have real and lasting meaning in your life… Honestly, nothing in this world is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears… but (it) takes a strong soul with real heart to to show confidence in situations that make us weary. No matter how long it takes, it will get better. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.
An encouraging and promising point. Thanks. Hugs.
Ramji Yadav says
Though the whole essay is very promising, yet, points # 7, 9, 10 and 11 are very much appealing to me. Because I believe “Tough situations build strong people in the end.” Ms. Angel rightly said “In a world filled with doubt, you must dare to dream. In a world filled with anger, you must dare to forgive. In a world filled with hate, you must dare to love. In a world filled with distrust, you must dare to believe.” Also, she is very true in saying “success in life is never an accident; it’s the result of high intention, focused effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution, and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities.” Also, Reflect on her statement “Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.” So, consider struggle as a gift in disguise, for it makes you stronger and wise.
Thanks a lot Ms. Angel for inspiring us to promise and prove. So, I promise to keep my promise.
Theresa S Kanosh says
I’ agree with everything that you said and I thank you for being in my life right now.