Patience isn’t about waiting, it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.
As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a new habit. So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain…
1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.
When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.
2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.
Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voice every day. Listen to the truest one.
3. Start choosing differently for your own well-being.
A big part of your life is a result of the little choices you make every day. If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start tweaking things and making better choices in the days and weeks ahead.
4. Start saying “no” when you need to.
We all have obligations, but a healthy, effective pace can only be found by properly managing your yeses. So stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no.” You can’t always be agreeable; that’s how people and situations take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set clear boundaries.
5. Start being a little more productive than you are busy.
There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. If you’re going to put in some work between now and the end of the year, don’t confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress. In other words…
6. Start dedicating time every day to small, meaningful steps.
If you only have fifteen minutes to spare, no problem — make those fifteen minutes meaningful. Focus on taking one small step forward in the right direction. And even when the struggle is real, remind yourself that it always feels better to be exhausted from taking a small and meaningful step forward, than it does to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.
7. Start moving toward things, not away from them.
The best way to move away from something negative is to move toward something positive.
8. Start doing what’s right, even if it’s not the easiest option.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s worth your while. Do what’s right, not what’s easiest right now. It’s a less stressful way to live in the long run.
9. Start comparing yourself to yourself (and no one else).
Forget what others have and where they are. You’re not walking in their shoes, and you’ll never comfortably walk in your own if you keep comparing yourself to them. So focus on what’s best for YOU and your unique circumstances. What do you need to do next for your own priorities and objectives? Do it! You won’t be distracted by comparison if you’re captivated with purpose.
10. Start being more tolerant of those who see things differently.
Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions, listen closely, and remember that the way we treat people we disagree with is the best evidence of what we have truly learned about love, respect, and kindness.
11. Start letting grace have the last word.
We only really lose the little arguments our pride insists on winning. When it’s more important to win little arguments than love people, we need to start all over again with our faith, grace, and priorities. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
12. Start forgiving those who don’t necessarily deserve it.
Distance yourself and create some boundaries, but don’t forget them, forgive them. Forgetting about the people who hurt you is your gift to them; forgiving the people who hurt you is your gift to yourself. Let this sink in. You need to forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness at the moment, but because you deserve peace of mind going forward. And also keep in mind that some relationships will temporarily split, only to heal and grow back together over time. Forgiveness alone makes this possible, if it’s meant to be.
13. Start giving without expectations.
You will end up very disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart, values, or priorities as you. Keep yourself centered. The fact that you can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and give them hope, is proof that generosity works wonders behind the scenes. So…
14. Start being the difference you want to see in the world.
Be the change. What you give to another person is really what you give to yourself. When you treat others with love, you learn that you are lovable too. So keep doing your thing today with as much kindness, humility, and honesty as possible. Do what you do, not for repayment or an applause, but because it’s what’s right. Forget about popularity, and just focus on goodness and sincerity today.
15. Start being more present.
Gadgets are great, but they can get in the way if you aren’t careful. Control them so they don’t control you. Put down the phone when you’re socializing. Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind a screen. Be present. Ask about people’s stories. Listen. Engage.
16. Start letting your actions speak to those you love.
Put first things first on the daily. Our closest relationships are vital to our overall peace and happiness. And as we tell those we love that we love them, we must never forget that the highest compliment is not to utter words, but to live by them.
17. Start finding more gratitude.
The secret to being grateful is no secret. You choose to be grateful. When you forget, begin again. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day” is a useful tool for this kind of perspective shift and gratitude practice.)
18. Start complaining less.
Practice replacing the phrase “I have to” with “I get to” whenever you catch yourself starting to complain. So many activities we complain about are things others wish they had the chance to do.
19. Start allowing yourself to be imperfectly human.
You can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can fail and still be smart, talented and capable of success. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love and admiration. We all make mistakes sometimes. Take a deep breath. It’s OK to be human.
20. Start saying “goodbye” so you can say “hello.”
Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. When people and circumstances close their doors on you, it’s a hint that your personal growth requires someone different and something more. Life is simply making room. So embrace your goodbyes, because every “goodbye” you receive in life sets you up for an important “hello.”
21. Start opening up to new experiences and opportunities.
Don’t let not knowing how it’ll end keep you from beginning again right now. If we allow it to, uncertainty chases us out into the open where life’s true magic is waiting. Go somewhere new, and countless opportunities suddenly appear. Do something differently, and all sorts of great new possibilities spring up. Keep an open mind and have fun with life in the days and weeks ahead.
22. Start letting go of life’s little frustrations.
Don’t let the silly little dramas of each day get you down. Joy starts on the inside. Practice focusing on what truly matters, and letting go of what does not. Use your frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of your focus and how you choose to allocate your energy.
23. Start embracing the lessons life is teaching you.
You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once. Truly, everything that happens helps you grow. Oftentimes difficult experiences teach us priceless life lessons we didn’t think we needed to know. If you’re having some problems, that’s not a bad thing. It means you’re attempting things, taking steps, and making progress. The only people with no problems are the ones doing absolutely nothing.
24. Start focusing (more) on what you can control.
Don’t force things. Give things your best shot and then let them be. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Don’t hold yourself down with things you can’t control. Remember, no book is just one chapter. No chapter tells the whole story. No mistake defines who we are. Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.
25. Start over again, and again.
No one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. Think about how this relates to your life. Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path. Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine. Life gradually teaches us that U-turns are allowed. So turn around when you must! There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past mistakes and regrets, and get you back on track in the year ahead. These words are: “From now on…”
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn today! I sincerely hope you will make the best of it all, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will leverage the reminders above to create something that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the outcomes you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will be extra kind to yourself and others.
And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
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Maureena says
The point “Start letting life’s little frustrations go” hits with me right now. Recently I realized that it is how i respond to situations that matters. And number 2 , for sure i ain’t gonna give the mic and stage in my life to the loudest as i will start filtering out the noise in my life. I will ONLY listen to the truest one.
Great self-reflection for me! Thanks.
Howard Martin says
That is a great list. Thanks for that. Will read it again and again.
Jeni says
End with Grace – I love that one! To win for the sake of ego feels worse than hollow – I intend to incorporate this into my mindset – embody grace, gentleness and love. Thanks for these reminders today.
Vee says
The simple ideas you share always bring clarity to my self-discovery journey. This post came a right time as I’m currently in a journey of presence and learning to love myself and prioritize Me again. Thank you so much.
Jani says
I really enjoy your articles, I’ve been going through a rough time and feeling frustrated about being stagnant. But these articles really help to lift the mood, encourage self love while I heal and accept that this is just a phase.
Rex says
What a wealth of insight! Thank you so much for this article. The 12th point “Start being more present” resonates more.
I learnt that some years ago from a former boss who would always stop whatever she was doing just to give you a listening ear whenever you visit her office for a talk.
It’s really not helpful how you spend time with people who seem to be lost in their gadgets, giving you the impression that they would prefer to be somewhere else than to be with you. A good reminder for the gatherings I have planned in the coming days.
Barbara says
Marc and Angel,
Love this compilation of many truths! As I have retired, my purpose has been redefined, and it’s been difficult. One day at a time must become my mantra…thanks for help with this journey!
Diana says
Marc and Angel (and frequent fellow commenters), thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a positive influence in my life. I just turned 70 and I’m still learning and growing in this life. God is good and has sent you to help guide and focus my life on the things that really matter in this precious time we are given.
This entire article was so meaningful that I can’t choose just one. I hope you both have a wonderful day, and keep doing what you do so well… sharing your love and helping others.
Ryan Bates says
Being more tolerant of others… showing more love, respect, & kindness!!! I need to remember that one. I slip too often. And yesterday wasn’t my best showing.
Phyllis Elder says
I have a journal that I call my book of Nuggets. It contains thoughts, poems, statements and songs that encourage and inspire me to never stop dreaming. There is never a dull moment when I think outside the box and allow the music to touch your inner soul and dance with the wind. Thanks for these additions.
Kim says
Such a great idea. Thanks Phyllis.
Julia says
“9. Start being more tolerant of those who see things differently…”
Wow, did this hit me between the eye’s! My daughter and myself don’t ever see eye to eye of each other. I am going to let #9 be one of my motto’s from now on. Thank you.
Lauranne says
Indeed, agreed.
Di says
Thank you. In my September ‘clearing’ I realised I have been reading your messages since 2016, and the events in that time have been huge. In the hairdressing salon last week a woman sitting on a sofa beside me looked at me, and commented that I must be about her age. I asked her age, and she replied “69” continuing to say that she had unexpectedly married 8 years ago to a man 10 years her junior. Now she was really struggling with approaching the age of 70, although there hadn’t been any problems about her age. I gave my age, which is 77, and said that I would be 78 in November. She was surprised, and asked how I had approached being 70. I didn’t usually consider this, since somehow time isn’t always linear, but as I reflected that I was exactly that age, 69 and almost 70 when my then husband, also my junior by some years, said that he wanted a divorce, and I had a stroke. Actually it was discovered that I had two strokes.
I have been fortunate and made a remarkable recovery, according to my neurologist. I could have been at rock bottom and was quite overwhelmed for a period until reminding myself that I had overcome worst situations than this as a younger woman, with cancer, a separation from my then husband, and two young children.
I knew what I needed, and how to nourish myself, and that rather than working towards any goals I could simply my needs, how I nourish myself, and move towards them. And so it began. Again. One by one.
I have always found your newsletters reassuring and consistent with what I believe.
I shan’t be contributing to Substack, which is a platform now used by so many interesting people. I’d be impoverished if I did so – which wouldn’t be a good investment in my future, so I appreciate the continuing offer of a free newsletter.
David Cleroux says
I read the whole post very carefully and I could evaluate each point as to how it applies and the priority it takes in my life. That was sobering and inspiring to see that I have for the most part my priorities in line with my moral beliefs. The following is a point that needs some attention right now.
5. “Start being a little more productive than you are busy.
There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. If you’re going to put in some work between now and the end of the year, don’t confuse motion and progress.”
A sobering thought that needs a bit of attention. It’s sometimes difficult to see what the most important thing to do is. Ha. There is always something to do and I do like to keep busy so in order to bring things more into perspective, I’m going to have to get more organized on a daily basis. I used to plan out the day the night before, and I need to get back to that also. So thanks so much for the little reminders, they really help. Hugs.