“Fall seven times, stand up eight!”
On an average day, most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your response and all that extra stress is gone. Truly, inner calmness among chaos is a superpower that frees you to focus more effectively on the few things that actually matter.
So don’t overwhelm yourself. Just do what you can right now. Practice focusing on what truly matters, and letting go of what does not. Use your frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of your focus, and how you choose to allocate your energy today.
And here are a few more good things to reflect on when life gets stressful…
1. Happiness is never constant (and it’s not supposed to be).
You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life. To believe that you can reach a state of happiness and stay there forever, is like the tide believing she can reach for the shoreline and remain there forever, or like a fruit tree believing that if she only holds on tighter, she can keep her fruit from dropping to the ground. Happiness is simply a series of moments that come and go and add sweetness to our lives. Learn to embrace this, and the more you will appreciate the whole process.
2. Failures are temporary situations that teach valuable lessons.
Life’s best lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. So yes, you will fail sometimes. The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. So get out there and try! Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson. Win–win.
3. Even if you can’t see it now, you’re likely making progress.
You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either. You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward. Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction. So cry for a moment if you have to, and get it out of your system. Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak — since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive and full of potential. Once you’re done, do you best to take the next smallest step. You’re undoubtedly getting closer to where you want to be.
4. How you feel when you’re stressed is not a true reflection of reality.
Just because you’re afraid, doesn’t mean you’re in danger. Just because you feel alone, doesn’t mean nobody loves you. Just because you think you might fail, doesn’t mean you will. Look beyond your doubts and keep searching for the truth. Be aware of your inner self-talk. We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
5. You can’t change what you refuse to confront.
You can learn great things from your failures and mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. If you’ve been asking the same questions for months or even years, yet you’re still stuck, it’s probably not that you haven’t been given the answers, but that you don’t like the answers you were given. It takes a lot of courage to admit that something needs to change, and a lot more courage still to accept responsibility for actually changing it. The most important step forward is taking the first step from where you are now. The simple act of getting started and doing something will give you the momentum you need, and soon you’ll find yourself in a upward spiral of positive changes — one building on the other.
6. You are not what happened to you in the past.
No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment. (Read “The Power of Now”.)
7. Not getting what you want can be a blessing.
Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck, because it forces you reevaluate things, opening new doors to opportunities and information you would have otherwise overlooked. Remember, some things in life fall apart so that better things can fall together.
8. Being a work in progress is a good state to be in.
Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. Start embracing it! Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today; it means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully. It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!
9. Nobody else can do it for you.
Keep doing what you know in your heart is right for YOU. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Live by choice, not by chance. Make changes, not excuses. Be motivated, not manipulated. Work to excel, not compete. Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else. It’s your road, and yours alone… Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
10. Life is always evolving.
Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that things will never again be what they once were, and that this ending is really an evolution, an opportunity… a new beginning in life.
Closing thoughts
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the greatest conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never did happen. But if you allow those thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into frustration, into stress, and into defeat. I know because I’ve been there.
Truthfully, there is so much about your fate that you can’t control, it makes no sense to neglect all the things you CAN control. You can decide how you spend your time today, whom you socialize with, whom you share your resources and energy with. You can pick your words and the tone of voice in which you speak. You can select what you will eat, read, and study. And you can choose how you’re going to respond to stressful situations when they arise, and whether you will see them as curses or opportunities for growth…
Now it’s your turn…
How about YOU?
Which point above resonated the most? What helps you when life gets stressful?
Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.
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Nicole says
You are seriously helping me through some hard times in my life right now. Thank you!
Scott says
I really liked #3 because I find that no matter what I end up accomplishing in life, it never feels like I’m going anywhere. For whatever reason, it’s really easy for us to downplay our progress. I think it’s important to recognize this bias, step back, and appreciate where we’ve been, where we are, and where we are going.
Wayne says
I’m a work in progress recovering from a devastating break up this past January. Your blog has inspired me almost daily since then. Blessings on you for consistently working to make this blog a pleasure to read and an ever present reminder that life is worth living. I owe you a debt of gratitude which I cannot repay, but must ask that you continue to keep posting the love that you do. Thank you so so much.
Wayne
Nadia Theresa says
Everyday, I find myself devouring your articles like a delicious meal in the morning. I cannot stress enough how good for the heart your articles are.
Thank you for your dedication to make the small things count in life.
Deborah White says
This blog got me through a difficult and very stressful morning related to my divorce. Thank you for the guidance into positive thinking. It’s changed my whole mindset. I bought one of your books too.
Deborah
Tom says
Thank you so much for your articles. I find them extremely helpful and often share them with others.
Tara says
I find something surprising and wonderful every time I stop here.
I especially like this post because I am going through a struggle right now. (Who isn’t?)
I have a quote on my journal that keeps me going, especially in tough times. It says “Just keep going. Those who win are those who never stopped trying.”
Melissa says
What lovely advice you give! I wish you were my friend in real life, we’d have so much to chat about! Great job on these positive articles! I love your honest, non preachy perspective. Everything you say is very simple and rings so true. Thank you.
Josie says
Whoa! This one is chock full of so much of what I needed to read today. I’m drowning in a couple realities that I’ve been afraid to face, and feel I’ve buried myself way too deeply. But there’s enough here to read and re-read, as many times as needed, to assure myself that I can overcome them. Thank you.
Kathy Bruno says
I love this advice! Thank you! I am going through a difficult period and my gf Dori sent this to me. I hope you will add me to your email list.
Kathy
Aminat Busayo says
Wowww, I found this article very interesting. I have been having some self doubt lately about most of the things that has been explained but I feel more relieved by reading these.
Karin says
Thanks for the post. I love your lists and gentle reminders on how to keep things in perspective. 🙂
Desiree says
Perfect timing, thanks for helping me see things more clearly lately.
vinod says
I have been reading your articles for some time now, Marc and Angel, and I cannot thank you enough for how much your writing has helped me. The last two in this post really hit home with me right now. Please keep up the good work.
Thanks again,
vinod
David Kanaya says
“No one is coming to do it for you”
” not getting what you want can be a blessing”
“Even if you cant see it now, you’re likely making progress”
Thanks so much marc and angel, i really appreciate you from the bottom of my heart, keep going keep inspiring mates we love you
And i feel sometimes like im blessed being in email list thank yoy
Ramji Yadav says
While reading the very first paragraph, I thought, I would like to comment on this, going forward to the first point, I thought this point is better to comment on, then second point resonated more than the first one. In this way, I read the whole essay and found that every point is more resonating than the previous one. I felt completely captivated from the very first sentence to the very last. It is so graceful and powerful that every single sentence feels purposeful. I love how you captured such powerful emotions with gentle honesty.
Point number 9 is marvelously full of short and sweet suggestions to practice and feel happy in any stressful situations. “Keep doing what you know in your heart is right for YOU. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Live by choice, not by chance. Make changes, not excuses. Be motivated, not manipulated. Work to excel, not compete. Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else. It’s your road, and yours alone… Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”
And closing thoughts … is truly SO wonderful, as if, our all the sorrow-feelings vanished immediately and brought us in a very BLISSFUL state of mind. Let me revisit it: “Truthfully, there is so much about your fate that you can’t control, it makes no sense to neglect all the things you CAN control. You can decide how you spend your time today, whom you socialize with, whom you share your resources and energy with. You can pick your words and the tone of voice in which you speak. You can select what you will eat, read, and study. And you can choose how you’re going to respond to stressful situations when they arise, and whether you will see them as curses or opportunities for growth…”
After reading this essay, I felt like now I have enough strength and wisdom to win the world. Really, this was the best read essay since I am on Marc and Angel Hack Life. Thanks a lot Mr Marc and Ms Angel for empowering us day to day to face the hardships of the life.
kim says
Just what I needed today! Thank you!
Sue says
Thank you so much Angel and Marc
You’re helping to push me along.
Going from a boyfriend and girlfriend situation to a loving friendship is extremely hard for me. I’m trying to learn how to cope with it as honestly asnd gracefully as I can even though sometimes I feel tortured cause it’s so hard to do and I don’t know if I could do it.
Thank you for your insights.I will try to incorporate that with my life.
David Cleroux says
“You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either. You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward. Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction.”
That’s exactly how I feel. Sometimes you can measure progress, and sometimes you can’t, but usually every fall is a fall upward. The times of struggles can apply to the growth of our character and self esteem and if in all honesty we can accept the humbling along the way, I’ve come to believe that that is great progress. So we can weep a little or cry a little, forgive ourselves or others for the wrong decisions we’ve made and start again. Hopefully we’ve learn from our mistakes. Hugs.