Far more often than any of us like to admit, our actions are driven by a subtle desire to impress other people. This desire is often reflected in the brand name products we use, the social spots we frequent, the houses and cars we buy, and the careers we choose. And while some of these things might capture our attention for a minute or two, they usually won’t hold it for long. Why? Because tangible possessions are not as impressive as intangible qualities.
Consider the following questions:
- She drives a Porsche, but can she truly afford the payment?
- She owns a huge house, but is it a loving home?
- She earns a lot of money, but does she enjoy what she does for a living?
You get the idea. Whenever the answer to questions like these is a resounding “no,” the subject who initially seemed to be impressive no longer does.
Now take a moment and imagine a person who loves what she does for a living, smiles frequently, and speaks passionately about the life she’s living on a daily basis. Would she impress you? Would it matter that she wasn’t a multi-millionaire?
Here are 25 dignified and genuine ways to impress everyone around you. And if you practice these tips on a regular basis, they won’t just impress others, they’ll help you become a better person too.
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
— Winston Churchill
1. Be authentic. Be true to yourself.
Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.” Live by this statement. There’s no such thing as walking comfortably in someone else’s shoes. The only shoes you can occupy are your own. If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living — you’re merely existing. And ask yourself this: If you don’t like who you really are, why should I like you?
2. Care about people.
The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness often begets love and kindness. Because everyone values the gift of unexpected assistance and those who supply it. So take time to care. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone in need. Let your words heal and not wound. You have the power to improve someone else’s day, perhaps even their whole life, simply by giving them your compassion and kindness. Do it! Be the change you want to see.
3. Help others feel better.
People will rarely remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. That’s a timeless truth to live by. And remember that many of the kindest gestures you’ll ever make, and the most important things you’ll ever do for someone else, will never be seen publicly. Do them anyway.
4. Be honest and take ownership of your actions.
Nobody likes a liar. In the long-run, the truth always reveals itself anyway. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
5. Smile often.
Everyone likes the sight of a genuine smile. Think about how you feel when a stranger who’s working at the coffee shop or grocery store greets you with a sincere smile. Suddenly they don’t seem like a stranger anymore, do they?
6. Respect your elders. Respect minors. Respect everyone.
There are no boundaries or classes that immediately define a group of people who deserve to be respected. At first, treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandmother and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. Be extra patient. Be extra kind. Compliment people. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses. Then set your boundaries if needed.
7. Address people by their name.
Super simple. People love the sight and sound of their own name. So make sure you learn to remember names. Use them courteously in both oral and written communication.
8. Say “Please” and “Thank you.”
These two basic phrases make demands sound like requests, and they inject a friendly tone into more serious conversations. Using them can mean the difference between sounding rude and sounding genuinely grateful.
9. Excel at what you do.
People watch what you do more than they listen to what you say. Be someone worth emulating. Most people are inspired by truly great musicians, writers, painters, speakers, entrepreneurs, engineers, mothers, fathers, athletes, etc. There’s only one thing they all have in common: They excel at what they do. There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right. Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies. Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.
10. Put a small personal touch on everything you do.
Think of it as branding your work. If you’re funny, add a little humor into it. If you’re an artist, decorate it with illustrations. Whatever you do, customize it with a little personal touch of YOU.
11. Over-deliver on all of your promises.
Some people habitually make promises they are just barely able to fulfill. They promise perfection and deliver mediocrity. If you want to boost your personal value in the eyes of others, do the exact opposite. Slightly under-sell your capabilities so that you’re always able to over-deliver. It will seem to others like you’re habitually going above and beyond the call of duty.
12. Get organized.
How can you get anything accomplished if you aren’t organized? You can’t. Make a regular habit of organizing your living space and working space. For some practical organizational guidance, I recommend reading David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”.
13. Do your research and ask clarifying questions.
Don’t be that clueless gal or dude in the room who just nods like he knows what’s going on. Prepare yourself by doing research ahead of time. And if something still doesn’t make sense to you, ask questions. The people involved will respect your desire to understand the material.
14. Share knowledge and information with others.
When you can, be a resource to those around you. If you have access to essential information, don’t hoard it. Share it openly. Let your knowledge make a difference.
15. Be positive and focus on what’s right.
Try your best to use frustration and disappointment to motivate you rather than annoy you. Breathe and be mindful. You are not in control of everything, but you are in control of the way you respond to life. And in your response is your power. So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest. Your positivity can make a difference… to you and those around you.
16. Listen intently to what others have to say.
Eyes focused, ears tuned, phone off. In a world that can’t move fast enough, someone who can find the time to listen to you is always appreciated.
17. Be faithful to your significant other.
Bill Gates was everyone’s hero for several decades, until the truth came out. For some reason that’s the first name that came to mind, but there are dozens of other famous examples of infidelity. The bottom line is that sustained fidelity in a long-term intimate relationship is not only impressive, it creates a healthy foundation for everything else you do. So be faithful!
18. Learn to appreciate and love Mother Nature.
Those who truly appreciate and love the natural world surrounding us typically exhibit the same high regard for all humanity. It’s a positive way to live, and it’s something people notice.
19. Invest in yourself.
When you invest in yourself, you can never lose, and over time you will change the trajectory of your life. You are simply the product of what you know. The more time and energy you spend acquiring pertinent knowledge, the more control you have over your life and the more valuable you become to everyone around you. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Happiness chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
20. Compliment people who deserve it.
Go out of your way to personally acknowledge and complement the people who have gone out of their way to shine. Everybody likes to hear that their efforts are appreciated.
21. Speak clearly and make eye contact.
Most people have a pretty low tolerance for dealing with people they can’t understand. Mystery does not fuel strong first impressions and impressiveness. Also, there’s little doubt that eye contact is one of the most captivating forms of personal communication — it injects a sense of closeness and presence into human interaction.
22. Make yourself available and approachable.
If people can’t get a hold of you, or have trouble approaching you, they will forget about you in the long run. Your general availability and accessibility to others is extremely important to them. Always maintain a positive, tolerant attitude and keep an open line of communication to those around you.
23. Exploit the resources you do have access to.
The average person is usually astonished when they see a person with a significant physical handicap show intense signs of emotional happiness. How could someone in such a limited physical state be so happy? The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have. Stevie Wonder, for example, couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it. Think about how this relates to your life and your limitations, and how you can exploit the resources you do have access to, so you can overcome your limitations.
24. Be passionately involved in something you believe in.
Some people take an active role in their local city council, some find refuge in their faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in, and others find passion in their work. In each case the psychological outcome is the same. They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in. This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives. It’s hard not to be inspired by someone who’s passionate about what they’re doing.
25. Stand up for your beliefs without flaunting them.
Yes, it is possible to stand up for your beliefs without foisting them onto someone else. Discuss your personal beliefs when someone asks about them, but don’t spawn offensive attacks of propaganda on unsuspecting victims. Stand firm by your values, keep an open mind to new information, and agree to disagree when necessary. And be careful not to dehumanize those you disagree with. In our self-righteousness, we can easily become the very things we dislike in others.
Now it’s your turn…
In the end, almost everything you need to impress everyone around you is contained within you. So get out there and start impressing people with who you are and how you live your life…
I sincerely hope you will have an impressive and inspired rest of your day today, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because Marc and I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
MD says
Thoughtful post. I really really agree with the point about caring about others. Too many people these days feel like the world is against them. I have an acquaintance (can’t consider him a friend) that literally does NOT even allow you to say “hey” before he’s telling you his life problems. I mean who wants to be around a person like this? I’m pretty sure that after 5 years of knowing me that he doesn’t even know the name of any of my siblings. Caring about others can be extremely powerful.
Vera Ciria says
What a great way to start a morning. I really enjoyed these reminders. If we all slowed down and paid more attention to ourselves and to those we have around us, things would be very different.
Parker Lee says
Hands down, what I can relate towards the most is being authentic.
even if that means you’re upset, it’s perfectly healthy to vent, as long as you know the difference between venting and complaining (:
people who read self development often get it confused, thinking that to be truly happy you have to be truly happy all the time, every time.
This is false.
No one can always be happy, be real with yourself, and know that it’s ok to actually be mad at yourself, and others from time to time.
it’s in our blood, it’s how we handle it that will shape us.
Ok i’m done.
thanks for sharing Marc and Angel.
Brandon Systym says
Thanks for this. I feel like as humans, we all need to be reminded of things from time to time. This was a great mantra to start the day. One of the last points is a powerful one.. ” stop trying to impress people with the possessions you own and start inspiring them with who you are and how you live your life. ”
Cheers
B says
The cool thing about these tips are that, they are not “puffed up” things to do to impress others or get attention, but they are truly things that you can be proud of doing, and they will improve your own life.
Great list Marc and Angel!
Justin Popovic says
What a great idea for a blog post. I agree with every point and I’m sure you could have come up with many more as well.
I like the part about over delivering. I actually like to transform mistakes into opportunities using this principle.
For example, last week one of my customers printed 1000s of copies of an in person program I put together as a business initiative for one of his projects. After the printing was done, he realized that we had a spelling mistake on the paper. While the paper was technically his and his responsibility to proof read, I felt responsible so without asking, I refunded his membership fee for 2 months, fixed the problem and showed him I was here for the long run for a mutually beneficial relationship. He appreciated the gesture and forgave me for the mistake. These kind of things go a long way and make everyone involved feel good. Over deliver whenever possible!
Contrarian says
Marc – you address a contemporary problem and modern day affliction that plagues the vast majority. We spend money we don’t have, buying stuff that we can’t afford, to impress people we don’t know or care about.
Conformity’s chief concern is with what “they” think. The essence of contrarianism lies in what “you” think.
There is only one reward for conformity: everyone will like you … that is, everyone except yourself.
Another exceptionally well thought out and insightful article. Thanks a million!
Annabelle Beckwith says
What an inspiring list this is – and every word of it not only true, but incredibly well observed.
I’d also add ‘Be aware of your impact’, on the premise that everyone DOES have an impact (on other people, the planet, on their chosen cause etc etc), whether they are aware of it or not, and whilst we’re not responsible for someone else’s reactions, it’s prudent to be aware of the influence that we have, one way or another.
Angela says
Thank you for such an inspirational piece. I couldn’t agree more with every single point. Especially being involved in a cause you are passionate about (27). It will instill a happiness in even the most miserable of people. Also, having a love for mother nature is – I think – probably one of the most rewarding qualities (19). A sunny day brightens your mood instantly and you will learn to see the beauty in a thunderstorm.
I am so glad I found your site. Your ideas are beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
YS says
I loved this. It made me realize what aspects of my life I need to work on more and have been falling short in, and reminds me to continue to do the actions that I have started doing more. Thank you so much!
Peter James Sinclair says
Great article Angel –
I have come across many throughout my lifetime whose sum of their worth is calculated by the number of hours they work. Others by the number of dollars in their bank account. And I can’t forget those who calculate their value by the assets they have acquired.Then there are those who count their worth by the number of friends or followers they have. Or they will even stoop so low as to go to the point of name-dropping.
Their conversation is dominated by ‘the art of impress’, and yet they fail to realize that all it achieves is alienation from those who would love to share their world. But unknowingly they fail to understand that true conversation, that builds true friendship, is not formed upon the foundations of what they have, what they’ve done, who they know, or even by where they’re going.
Personally, I am far more interested in finding out as to who they are. I’m not even overly concerned as to what they think. I want them to be, and I most certainly don’t want to be bored by their repetitive verbiage that seeks always to ‘impress’.
Impress me by who you are – someone who is interested in others, and from time to time pauses to turn the course of conversation, through the art of reflection, onto those whom they are conversing with. I want to spend time in the company of someone who, at the end of the conversation, leaves everyone they have conversed with, sensing a feeling of importance and appreciation.
Angel you have impressed me…….keep up the great work!
Nancy says
I think one of your final points at the end, the part about everything necessary already being present within each person, is the most important. It’s great to excel at something you enjoy, or be passionate about something that really moves you. But some people seem to make the mistake of thinking they need to excel at EVERYTHING and be involved in EVERY cause. This smacks to me of insecure self-accessorizing, compensating for what a person thinks he or she lacks. Anyone who claims to be an amazing musician, writer, scholar, activist, cook, philosopher, handyman, and healer is probably mediocre at all these things in reality. So I wish people would stop feeling the pressure to be the best at everything, and instead focus on the specific things we really enjoy – and appreciating the successes of others in different fields of interest. That’s what I’ve been trying to do for myself recently, and I’ll tell you, it takes a lot of pressure off not feeling the need to become a rock star.
Jean says
Loved this post. Number 6 reminded me of my dear (late) mother. One of the lessons she taught me, mostly by example, was to respect others–*all* others: Show the same kindness and respect to everyone, from the chairman of the board to the lowest-paid worker in the building. Few people actually do that.
Bryce Christiansen says
Good one!
This might sound weird but developing a good relationship with your family is another way to really impress others in a distinguished way.
I’ve been blessed with a great family where we all get along fabulously. When our friends visit all of us together they often mention how much they enjoy the atmosphere and relationship we all have with each other.
It truly is a one of a kind feeling to share a functional family with others.
Julie Takase says
Great read! Empathy for others and being sincere would be good additions to this list.
Innocent Mathebula says
I love you guys.
Diane says
#1 really resonated with me, especially the Judy Garland quote. I have a habit of putting people, mainly women, on a pedestal. I only see what they choose to show the world which may not be their reality. In fact, in my journal this morning I wrote, that it’s not fair to myself to keep comparing myself to women who are 15 or 25 years younger than me. The only person I have to be better than, is me. This is a difficult concept for me, but one I am committing to today!
Kate Bernat says
Great article again. Thank you
David says
Overall, the post is very encouraging. The organizational part is something that I need to work on. There are always so many “pokers in the fire”, it’s not always easy to get around to everything that needs to get done in a day.
You mention about being thoughtful and listening to people, that is something that I’m focusing on also.
I’m believing a lot of young people would really appreciate this post. To me, it’s character building. Thanks. Hugs.