We love the idea of others loving us, but we forget to love ourselves.

“Today I lost the respect of a couple people I care about, and the desire to hurt myself, when I finally told everyone the truth about who I really am and what I’ve decided to do with my life. In a nutshell, I’ve chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day.”

Those are lines right out of a live chat I had this morning with a longtime reader and course member of ours. Although this person asked to remain anonymous, they gave me permission to share this part of their story with you, and I’m so glad they did. Because one of the greatest struggles in life is the struggle to accept, embrace, and love ourselves with all of our imperfections. To be 100% honest about who we are, how we feel, and what we need. To stop discrediting ourselves for everything we aren’t, and start giving ourselves credit for everything we are.

What we must realize is that our greatest task is not about rediscovering self-love; it’s about breaking down the walls we have built against it. And when we find the courage to push through these walls — to know and embrace ourselves, despite our flaws — we also create pathways to connect in more caring, empathic, and intimate ways with others who [Read more…]

Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset.

The real trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away all of your days waiting for better ones ahead. Just appreciate where you are. You have come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things right now.

Start by reminding yourself that inner peace and progress in life are both built through tiny daily victories. It’s the seemingly inconsequential choices we make day to day that make all the difference. So as we move forward through the next 24 hours, challenge yourself…

1. When a new day begins, challenge yourself to smile genuinely and gratefully.

2. When you don’t get what you want, challenge yourself to [Read more…]

Look around, and be thankful right now. For your health, your family, your friends, and your home… Nothing lasts forever.

There’s a little ritual Angel and I practice every day that can turn hard days into easier ones, and extremely difficult life situations into far better ones. And it won’t surprise you either. It’s gratitude.

While a gratitude ritual is a simple and fundamental tool, it’s something most of us forget to practice. But when we do practice, it can quickly transform both our minds and our lives. Let me give you a quick example…

Many moons ago, I remember one specific night I was struggling with grief and feeling very stressed about work — I was feeling unhappy with the direction of my life and the recent events in it. But that night I also encouraged myself to put things into perspective. I wrote down a list of everything I was truly grateful for, even as everything in my life seemed to be going wrong. It ended up being a pretty long list, and I still have the list hanging on my home office bulletin board today. The first few points on the list include: [Read more…]

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.”
— Iain Thomas

This short article was inspired by an email we received today from a reader of the blog:

Dear Marc and Angel,

There’s so much meaning and value I want to foster in my present life, and yet a tragic past continues to drag me down. I feel like I have weights tied to my ankles. It’s the heaviness of grief that still sneaks up on me. Truly, I’ve been through a lot — the toughest and most heartbreaking of which was losing my husband in a car accident when he was only 35-years-old. And right now, seven years later, I’m at a point where I’m trying to make the best of a bad situation, but I wake up on some mornings and just can’t seem to let go of the way things were “supposed to be” in my life.

Anyway, I know you can’t solve all my problems, but I was hoping you could shine some light on my situation. I could use a little extra perspective today. Do you have any words you could share with me?

Sincerely,
A Struggling Reader

Our reply (an open reply to everyone who’s trying to make the best of a bad situation):

Dear Struggling Reader,

Marc and I just finished reading your email together, and we sincerely wish we could start by giving you two of the biggest, longest hugs imaginable. But since that’s not possible at this very moment, let me tell you about an unexpected phone call I received in the middle of the night last night.

My phone rang just before midnight. I didn’t answer. Then it rang again a minute later. I rolled over, grabbed it off the nightstand, and [Read more…]