Relationships – Page 3

An Open Letter to Those Who Want to Make a Bigger Difference Right Now

06.09.2020 by Marc Chernoff // 31 Comments

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
—Mahatma Gandhi

This short article was inspired by an email we received this morning from a new course student:

Dear Marc and Angel,

I’m a single mom to two wonderful teenagers, and I’m also a (rather passionate) domestic violence attorney. Although I’ve been told I do a great job on both fronts, I wish to make an even bigger difference. With all that’s going on in society right now, there’s so much positive change and growth I feel I could instill in both my children and the world at large if I could just find the right approach. I wish there was a way to open people’s eyes to the possibilities I see! How can someone like me—someone who has the means—make a bigger difference right now? Do you have any relevant stories or lessons to share?

Sincerely,
A Caring Student

Our reply (an open reply to all who want to make a bigger difference right now):

Dear Caring Student,

It’s time for a quick true story about life…

In 1955, Ella Fitzgerald had a professional music career that spanned nearly two decades. She was a critically acclaimed Jazz musician, and yet she was hardly known by the general public because she was an African American doing amazing things at a time when [Read more…]

7 Assumptions We Need to Stop Making About Other People

12.03.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 27 Comments

Never underestimate a person’s challenges. Everyone is struggling. Some are just better at hiding it than others.

Too often we judge people too quickly, or too subjectively. We tell ourselves stories about them without thinking it through—our perceptions and biases get the best of us. I was reminded of this today when I received the following in an email from a Think Better, Live Better 2020 ticket-holder (I’m sharing this with permission):

“…I learned the hard way that a smile can hide so much—that when you look at a person you never know what their story is or what’s truly going on in their life. This harsh reality became evident to me this morning when I found out one of my top students—always straight A’s, a positive attitude, and a smile on her face—died by suicide last night. Why? Nobody seems to know. And it’s killing me inside.”

Talk about a reality check, right?

What we tell ourselves about others—what we think we know—is often far from the truth.

And with that in mind, I’m sitting here reflecting on all the little things we have to stop assuming about other people, for their sake and ours… [Read more…]

7 Hard Things You Should Start Doing for Others

10.07.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 37 Comments

Don’t just rant online for a better world. Love your family. Be a good neighbor. Practice kindness. Build bridges. Embody what you preach. Today. And always.

About a decade ago, at one o’clock in the morning, my grandpa who was suffering from Alzheimer’s got up, got into my car and drove off. Angel and I contacted the police, but before they could find him, two college kids pulled into our driveway with my grandpa. One was driving him in my car and the other was following in their car. They said they overheard him crying about being lost at an empty gas station 10 miles away. My grandpa couldn’t remember our address, but gave the kids his first and last name. They looked him up online, found our address, and drove him home.

I was randomly reflecting on that incident today while sitting near the edge of a beautiful ocean-side cliff in San Diego. As I stared off into the distance, the sudden awareness of footsteps behind me startled me. I turned around to see a young lady who was almost in tears slowly walking to where I was sitting. I jumped up, walked up to her and asked, “What’s wrong?” She told me she was deathly [Read more…]

40 Things We Need to Teach Our Kids Before They’re too Cool to Hear Our Wisdom

08.12.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 22 Comments

Kids must be taught how to think, not what to think.

Today our son, Mac, started Kindergarten. The experience of dropping him off for his very first day of school struck so many emotions in me. As every parent of a school-age child can attest, the very first day of school is a learning experience in and of itself. It’s one of those little milestones you anticipate and always remember.

Anyway, I awoke this morning thinking about the whole experience—of childhood, parenthood, and everything in between—and two thoughts immediately came to mind:

How in the world did Angel and I suddenly become parents to a kindergartner? Whoa! Time flies!
There are so many things I want to tell Mac as soon as possible, before he’s in high school with his friends and too cool to hear my little nuggets of wisdom. And before Angel and I go from “mommy and daddy who both know best” to “mom and dad who couldn’t possibly understand.”

So in no particular order, here are 40 things I intend to tell him and his little friends, repeatedly, over the next several years: [Read more…]

18 Important Reminders About Living Up to People’s Expectations

08.05.2019 by Angel Chernoff // 20 Comments

Your needs matter. Don’t ignore them. Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

A life spent ceaselessly trying to please people who are perhaps incapable of ever being pleased, or trying too hard to always be seen as doing “what’s expected of you,” is a sure road to a regretful existence. Marc and I were on this road once, but I’m happy to say we’re paving our own path now based on our own needs, morals and values. And today I hope to inspire you to do the same…

Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is: Do you live?

Marc and I eventually realized existing without ever truly living was not what we wanted for ourselves. So we made changes – we gradually embraced [Read more…]