June 18th, 2013 - by: Marc Chernoff

6 Conversations You Need To Have With Yourself

6 Things You Should Be Talking To Yourself About

What can you tell yourself that you don’t already know?  A whole lot.

In the privacy of your mind you constantly talk to yourself.  Your inner monologue might seem pointless at times, but the truth is the act of talking to yourself can help you learn and maintain a positive lifelong trajectory.  Therefore, collected below are six effective topics for self-talk, so the next time you talk to yourself you will know exactly what to say.

Final Reminder:  We recently released the Audio Book for 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.  And we also have a limited time bundle of our eBook, audio book and bonus material on sale for a big discount.  Click here to check it out!

1.  What you love.

When it comes to lifelong labors and dreams, lukewarm is no good.  Hot is no good either.  White hot and passionate is the only way to work and live.

Invest your thoughts and time in the things you love.  Don’t wait around for too long to get involved in something that moves you.  Realize how important it is to be an enthusiast in life.  If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, explore it.  Get up and go after it.  Embrace it, hug it, love it, and above all, let your passion flow freely.

The most important decision you will ever make is what you do with the limited time that has been given to you.  Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?”  So put your thoughts and time to good use, and let yourself Keep reading →

June 16th, 2013 - by: Angel Chernoff

7 Sexy Character Traits of Happy People

7 Sexy Character Traits of Happy People

by Ken Wert

In an era of public booty-bouncing and other ubiquitous in-your-face expressions of sensuality, it’s about time we had a new standard of sexy.

Real sexiness is so much more than physical shape and form.  It’s more than style and wardrobe, attitude and visible swag.  And it’s certainly more than the lopsided exposed skin to covered skin ratio depicted on today’s popular media channels.

We are increasingly in desperate need of a more enduring standard, one that includes more than face and body – one that includes the shape and form of internal qualities, those that add joy and passion to life, those of heart, mind and soul.

“Sexiness is a state of mind – a comfortable state of being.”
―Halle Berry

The Up-Close-and-Personal Principle

Have you ever seen someone across a crowded room you were immediately attracted to, approached them and got to know the person up close and personal, and then couldn’t remember for the life of you how you ever found them attractive?

On the other hand, have you met someone who had no particular appeal at first glance, and then after getting to know them you suddenly discovered pure sexiness oozing from their pores?

Deep, moving sexiness is more than mere physicality and more than swaying hips and pouty lips.  It’s more than broad shoulders and six pack abs.  The most enduring form of sexiness is the most endearing trait and the clearest mirror of the human soul: happiness.

It’s time we elevate happiness to its proper place in the sexiness pantheon by learning and applying these seven character traits of happiness (and therefore sexiness):

1.  Moral Courage

Happy people stand up for what’s right and don’t get pushed around by peer pressure into the newest fad or trend.  They have the courage, conviction and inner strength to do what’s right even while others reshape themselves into ever-shifting expressions of someone else’s standards, becoming shadows of other’s values. Keep reading →

June 14th, 2013 - by: Marc Chernoff

5 Ways to Meet the Right People

5 Ways to Meet the Right People

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
―Anaïs Nin

Positive relationships form the foundation of a happy, rewarding life.

If your time and energy is misspent on the wrong relationships, or on too many activities that force you to neglect your good relationships, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be running in place, chasing affection.

How do you build healthy, lasting relationships?  How do you find friends that lift you higher?  How do you meet a significant other that belongs at your family reunions?

How do you meet the right people?

1.  Learn to enjoy your own company.

Ironically, the prerequisite to building healthy relationships is being comfortable when you’re all by yourself.  If you’re starting fresh, with a minimal number of friends in your immediate vicinity, the reason for this is obvious: spending time alone is your only option.  Likewise, if you have friends that have been dragging you down and negatively impacting your life, withdrawing from them and starting anew will likely require a bit more alone time.

Appreciating solitude starts with the conscious awareness of the freedom it brings.  When you enjoy your own company you don’t need others around for the sake of having others around.  You can be flexible about who you choose to spend time with, instead of letting your fear of being alone suck you into social situations and relationships that aren’t right for you. Keep reading →

June 11th, 2013 - by: Angel Chernoff

10 Things I Love About YOU

10 Things I Love About YOU

Where there is love there is life.
―Gandhi

YOU are amazing!  You may forget sometimes, but someone always sees the amazing things about you that make you so loveable.

So let me remind you of how truly amazing you are, just because you’re YOU:

1.  Your smile.

I don’t care if your teeth aren’t perfectly straight and bright white.  When you smile, it lights up your eyes with a twinkle of honest delight that gives me a glimpse into the beauty of your soul.  It’s as though you really see me and you’re offering me a little parcel of your heart.

So please remember, you can never change the past nor control the future, but you can change the mood of this moment by touching someone’s heart with your smile, in the same way you have already touched mine.

2.  Your self-respect.

I love the way you accept who you are completely, the good and the bad, and make changes in your life as YOU see fit – not because you think anyone else wants you to be different, but because you know it’s the right thing to do, for YOU.

The way you don’t rely on your significant other, or anyone else, for your happiness and self-worth moves me at my core.  You have taught me that our first and last love is self-love, and that if you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to either. Keep reading →

June 9th, 2013 - by: Marc Chernoff

9 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company

9 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

A big part of who you become in life has to do with who you choose to surround yourself with.  Sometimes luck controls who walks into your life, but you decide who you let stay, who you pursue, and who you let walk back out.

Ultimately, you should surround yourself with people who make you a better person and let go of those who don’t.  Here are some warning signs you’re in the presence of the latter:

1.  They only make time for you when it’s convenient for them.

It’s obvious, but any relationship without regular interaction and communication is going to have problems, especially when there’s a lack of commitment.

Don’t waste your time with someone who only wants you around when it’s convenient for them.  You shouldn’t have to force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you they will gladly create space for you.

Being in a relationship with someone who overlooks your worth isn’t loyalty, it’s stupidity.  Never beg someone for attention.  Know your self-worth, and move on if you must.

2.  They hold your past against you.

Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be – that you’ve made mistakes in the past, learned from them, and moved past them.  They may not be able to stand the fact that you’re growing and moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not Keep reading →

June 6th, 2013 - by: Marc Chernoff

6 Things Optimists Do Differently

6 Things Optimists Do Differently

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
―Winston Churchill

People who carry an optimistic outlook are typically healthier and more productive than their pessimistic peers.  They catch fewer colds, cope better with life’s daily struggles, and may even live longer due to reduced levels of stress.

So what about you?  Can you become an optimist?

The answer is: YES!  Optimism is not an inborn trait bestowed on a lucky few.  It’s a skill that can be learned.  Here are six things optimists do and some ideas on how to follow in their footsteps:

1.  They make optimal use of all available options.

Most people get irritated by those who seem “too optimistic,” but this is usually an unfortunate misinterpretation of the difference between and optimist and an idealist.

An optimist is neither naive, nor in denial, nor blind to the realities of life.  An optimist believes in the optimal usage of all the available options, no matter how narrow the supply.  As a result, optimistic people are able to better see the bigger picture.  They can more accurately visualize and mange the present possibilities.  In other words, an optimist is simply a positive realist.

For comparison’s sake:  An idealist focuses only on the absolute best aspects of situations and ignores the negatives in total detriment to reality, a pessimist sees no possibilities at all, and an optimist strives to see all the possibilities so they can find the best possible option among them. Keep reading →

June 4th, 2013 - by: Angel Chernoff

5 Ways to Avoid the Biggest Regrets of Dying

5 Ways to Avoid the Biggest Regrets of Dying

by Celestine Chua

Death comes to all of us at some point.  Have you thought about how you would feel when the time comes for you to die?  Have you considered if you would have any regrets about how you led your life?

A palliative nurse who counseled dying patients in the final weeks of their lives took the liberty to record the most common regrets among them.  Many of her patient’s regrets were revealing statements like: wishing they didn’t work so hard, wishing they had the courage to express their feelings, and wishing they had stayed in touch with their friends.

I believe in learning from the experiences of others.  Having the insights of people who have lived to the end of their lives is strikingly helpful in living our best lives.  Rather than reiterate the details of their regrets, I’m going to share them briefly and provide suggestions on how we can ensure that these regrets don’t become our regrets on our deathbeds someday.  While we can’t change our past, we can change the present and the future.  How our lives pan out from here is dependent on what we do starting today.

Regret #1:  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Are you living the life you have always wanted for yourself?  Or are you simply living a life based on what others expect of you?

Many people today live their life around the expectations of others.  Among my friends, many of them often make decisions based on what their partners or what other people want, rather than because of what they want or believe.  Among my one-to-one coaching clients, they often complain about being trapped in careers they dislike because they chose careers which were deemed acceptable by their peers and family, rather than pursuing career paths that interested them. Keep reading →

June 2nd, 2013 - by: Angel Chernoff

4 Powerful Truths YOU Should Know

I know you’re reading this and I want you to know this video is for you.  Others will be confused.  They will think it’s for them.  But it’s not.

This one is for YOU…

The 4 Truths (video transcript):

Reminder:  We just released the Audio Book for 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.  And we also have a limited time bundle of our eBook, audio book and bonus material on sale for a big discount.  Click here to check it out!

1.  You have many reasons to smile.

I want you to know that life is not always easy.  Every day can be an unpredictable challenge.  Some days it can be difficult just to get out of bed in the morning, to face reality and put on that smile.  But I want you to know that your smile has kept Angel and I going on more days than I can count.  Never forget that, even when times get tough, as they sometimes will, you are incredible, you really are.

So please smile more often.  You have so many reasons to.  Time and time again, our reason is you.

2.  We are all in this together.

You won’t always be perfect and neither will we.  Because nobody is perfect, and Keep reading →

May 30th, 2013 - by: Marc Chernoff

9 Lies to Unlearn Before it’s Too Late

9 Lies to Unlearn Before it’s Too Late

The worst lies are the ones you tell yourself over and over again – the ones you live by.  Perhaps someone close to you ingrained these lies in your mind, perhaps you were influenced by the negativity of popular media channels, or perhaps they grew from simple, innocent misunderstandings.

Either way, next time you decide to learn something new for the sake of self-improvement, start by unlearning a lie that has been deceiving you.  Here are nine lies I have unlearned in my own life:

1.  Happiness is about getting what you want.

There are two ways people try to find happiness.  One is to continue to accumulate more and more of what they think they want.  The other is to appreciate what they already have.  The latter is the right path.  Happiness isn’t about getting what you want; it’s about wanting what you’ve got.  Happiness is not a goal, it’s a by-product of living well in each moment.

To be happy doesn’t mean you don’t desire more, it simply means you’re thankful for what you have and patient for what’s yet to come.  Sometimes it’s easy to get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, that you fail to notice the little things that give life its magic.  So appreciate today for all it’s worth.  Today is one of the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.

2.  Success looks a certain way.

You are not in this world to live up to everyone else’s expectations, nor should you feel that everyone else is here to live up to yours.  You’ve got to pave your Keep reading →

May 28th, 2013 - by: Marc Chernoff

7 Things You Need to Stop Doing Every Day

7 Things You Should Stop Doing Every Day

If you get decent value from making TO-DO lists, you’ll also get significant returns – in productivity, in improved relationships, in financial stability, and in heightened levels of happiness – from adding certain things to a TO-DON’T list.

As you may have guessed, a TO-DON’T list’ is a list of things not to do.  It might seem a bit amusing, but it’s an incredibly useful tool for keeping track of unproductive habits like these:

1.  Worrying about the wrong people.

The ladies of The Real Housewives of Orange County, they’ll survive without you.  The family members and friends of Duck Dynasty, they won’t notice your absence if you stop watching their show.  Even the private lives of your elected politicians and local public figures mean nothing in the grand scheme of your own life.

But your significant other, your friends, your children, your siblings, extended family members, business partners, employees and customers – these are the people who truly matter to you.  Give them your time and attention.  They’re the ones who deserve it.

And as you meet new individuals, be polite, but don’t try to be best friends with everyone.  Take things slow and remain focused on your core people – the individuals whose absence would immediately make your life less fulfilling.

2.  Focusing all your attention on future events instead of present moments.

This moment will never happen again.  Look around.  Cherish your time as you’re living it.  Work towards something, but enjoy the journey of getting from here to there.  Experience each step.  Don’t succumb to a vicious cycle of overbearing productivity that forces you to constantly think about every imaginable time and place except right here, right now. Keep reading →