Marc and Angel Hack Life

“There’s always room for a story that can
transport people to another place.”
―J.K. Rowling

Let me distract you for a moment and tell you four short stories.

These are old stories – familiar stories.  The people and the circumstances differ slightly for everyone who tells them, but the core lessons remain the same.

I hope the twist we’ve put on them here inspires you to think differently…

Final Reminder:  We just released the Audio Book for 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.  And we also have a limited time bundle of our eBook, audio book and bonus material on sale for a big discount.  Click here to check it out!

Story #1:  All the Difference in The World

Every Sunday morning I take a light jog around a park near my home.  There’s a lake located in one corner of the park.  Each time I jog by this lake, I see the same elderly woman sitting at the water’s edge with a small metal cage sitting beside her.

This past Sunday my curiosity got the best of me, so I stopped jogging and walked over to her.  As I got closer, I realized that the metal cage was in fact a small trap.  There were three turtles, unharmed, slowly walking around the base of the trap.  She had a fourth turtle in her lap that she was carefully scrubbing with a spongy brush.

“Hello,” I said.  “I see you here every Sunday morning.  If you don’t mind my nosiness, I’d love to know what you’re doing with these turtles.”

She smiled.  “I’m cleaning off their shells,” she replied.  “Anything on a turtle’s shell, like algae or scum, reduces the turtle’s ability to absorb heat and impedes its ability to swim.  It can also corrode and weaken the shell over time.”

“Wow!  That’s really nice of you!” I exclaimed. Keep reading →

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
―Voltaire

If you keep asking yourself the wrong questions, you will never get an answer you like.

So take a deep breath and stop asking…

1.  “Why don’t they like me?”

The worst misery and loneliness is to feel unsure of yourself – like everyone else is ahead of you somehow.  When you’re feeling insecure like this, you don’t notice the hundreds of people around you who accept you just the way you are.  All you notice are the few who don’t.

Don’t let your insecurities bully you into a corner.  Don’t be your own victim.  Forget whether or not everyone else likes you, and focus on loving yourself more.  Accept, define and believe in the person you are.  For once you sincerely do, so will the rest of the people in your life who truly matter to you.

2.  “What will they think?”

Here’s a wake-up call for you:  When you’re worried about what others think of you, you’re really just worried about what you think of yourself.

At times you may flatter yourself indirectly by thinking that every little fault you see in yourself is also present in the minds of everyone around you, as if these people are constantly contemplating your personal strengths and weaknesses.  But the truth is, 99.9% of the time, they aren’t. Keep reading →

“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.”
―Jean-Paul Sartre

“Promise me that you will live and love to the point of tears.  That you will do something every day that moves you.  That you will become an expert at what truly matters,” my grandmother said to me just a few days before she passed.

Although she never clarified, specifically, what she wanted me to be an expert at, this advice has always stuck with me.   And over the years I’ve learned that, at the very least, it includes the following:

1.  Being unapologetically YOU.

To imitate others is to never truly live.  It’s like YOU never existed.

From now on, forget about what everyone else is doing.  Forget about what kind of person you think they want you to be and just be the most authentic version of the person you are.  Let who you are and what you believe shine through in every word you speak and every move you make.

Figure out which people you genuinely like, instead of which ones you want to like you.  Hang out with people you think are cool, instead of those you’d like to be considered cool by.  Get to know people by telling your own true stories and listening to theirs.  Do things because they interest you, not because you think they make you look interesting to someone else.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Self-Love chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Living through love.

Every human thought, word and deed is based on fear or love.  Fear is an inner energy that contracts, closes down, draws in, hides, hoards and harms.  When you live through fear, you pull back from life. Keep reading →

by Vincent Nguyen of Self Stairway

Letting go is difficult, but it’s something you constantly have to do as you live from one day to the next.  It’s a necessary process of adapting to the ever-changing environment you live in – leaving behind the old to make way for the new.

There are many reasons you may want to let go sooner rather than later.  Maybe someone wants you to be someone you’re not, maybe you’ve had your trust broken too many times by the same person, or maybe you’ve simply been living a lifestyle that makes you unhappy.  The possibilities are obviously endless.

The idea of letting go can seem daunting, but it can be done if you approach letting go from an effective, creative perspective.  It’s not just telling yourself to “get your mind off of it by doing other things.”  That advice is too vague, and if it were that easy you’d already be doing it.

Let’s take a look at some unique approaches that work – ten unconventional ways to learn how to let go and move on with your life:

1.  Write down your troubles and torch them.

Pour your heart’s troubles out onto a sheet of paper, make a paper ball, and toss your troubles into a fire.  A very cliché movie-type scene is what I describe this as, but it provides an amazing sense of closure.  I’ve actually done this before during some very difficult times in my life.

I took my pain and bled honest thoughts into my writing.  I wrote words that I was too afraid to say out loud because I knew no one would get the chance to read it.  After that, I rolled them into a ball and tossed them all into a small backyard bonfire. Keep reading →

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

Your dignity may be attacked, ravaged and disgracefully mocked, but it can never be taken away unless you willingly surrender it.  It’s all about finding the strength to defend your boundaries.

The manipulators of the world will test you from time to time to see if you bend.  Don’t let them intimidate you.  When you catch them pushing on you, push back.  All it takes is once, and if they get away with pushing you around that once – if they know they can treat you like that – then it sets the pattern for the future.

You are stronger than them!  Stick up for yourself and stop tolerating…

1.  Bullying.

Bulling is not OK.  Period.  There is no freedom on Earth that gives someone the right to assault who you are as a person.  Sadly, some people just won’t be happy until they’ve pushed your ego to the ground and stomped on it.  What you have to do is have the nerve to stand your ground.  Don’t give them any leeway.  Nobody has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to your family and friends.  Sometimes bullying comes from the most unlikely places.  Be cognizant of how the people closest to you treat you, and look out for the subtle jabs they throw.  When necessary, confront them – whatever it Keep reading →

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
―Vivian Greene

Over the past decade Marc and I have dealt with several personal hardships of varying degrees, including the sudden death of a sibling, the loss of a best friend to illness, and an unexpected, breadwinning employment layoff.

These experiences were brutal.  Each of them, unsurprisingly, knocked us down and off course for a period of time.  But when our time of mourning was over in each individual circumstance, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life.

Here are some vital lessons we learned – ways to maintain peace of mind in tough times:

1.  Learn to trust yourself.

“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is.  As you heal and grow, it will all work out.  Relax and trust yourself.”

Repeat that in your mind every morning.  Because the truth is, it all works out in the end.  Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best, and then move forward one step at a time with faith and confidence in the future.  Life will not forsake you.  Love, persistence and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run.

If you have faith in your abilities, if you stay true to the path that feels right, if you channel your passion into action, you will ultimately achieve a breakthrough.  In other words, as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to heal and grow.

2.  Focus on what you’re learning.

Mistakes and setbacks are simply a form of practice.

If the road is easy and free of bumps, you’re likely going the wrong way.  The bumps in the road teach you what you need to know to progress down a path Keep reading →

For the longest time I had tunnel vision and expected life to be a certain way.  I studied my failures until I lost sight of my successes.  I surrendered my dreams to feel a sense of comfort.  I crafted limiting beliefs and shielded myself from love and happiness by refusing to put myself out there.  And as I did all of this, I sat back and wondered why life was so miserable.

Obviously, I was very lost.

I began to turn things around about a decade ago when my stubborn habits led me into a chaotic argument with Angel.  As we both stared at each other through tears, she said, “Marc, you are the enemy – your enemy.  It’s your choices.  I can’t sympathize any longer.  You can choose differently if you want to, but you have to want to.  Please want to!”  And after some extensive soul-searching, lots of reading, a little sabbatical, and continuous support from a loving wife and a few close friends, I learned to choose differently and eventually found myself again.

I tell you this because I know you struggle with similar inner demons – occasionally we all do.  Sometimes our thoughts and routine choices are our biggest enemies.  Which is why I want to remind you to beware of…

1.  Your expectation of constant contentment.

Nothing in life is constant.  There is neither absolute happiness nor absolute sadness.  There are only the changes in our moods that continuously oscillate between these two extremes.

At any given moment we are comparing how we currently feel to how we felt at another time – comparing one level of our contentment to another.  In this way, Keep reading →

The morning is extremely important.  It is the foundation from which the rest of the day is built.  How you choose to spend your morning can often be used to accurately predict what kind of day you’re going to have.

Here’s how to make it a happy one…

1.  A calm awakening.

In the space between the edge of the night and the chaos of the day, you have a chance to make a special space for yourself.  In this space, thoughts and contentment neatly overlap, where past and future issues cease to exist, and time touches eternity.  Hovering about your mind, as you gently begin to stir, there are beautiful visions no one has ever seen and soothing harmonies no one has ever heard.

These first few moments of the day are sacred.  Savor them.  Protect them.  Awaken yourself peacefully, stretch fully and breathe deeply in them without rushing forward.  Give yourself this time as a gift, to simply be and feel alive, to conquer the anxiety of life, and live in the moment breath by breath.

2.  Meditate on the goodness.

Begin each day with love, grace, and gratitude.

When you arise in the morning, think of what a great privilege it is to be alive – to be, to see, to hear, to think, to love, to have something to look forward to.  Happiness is a big part of these little parts of your life; joy is simply the feeling of appreciating it. Keep reading →

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think
I have ended up where I needed to be.
―Douglas Adams

Life has no purpose; you have a purpose and you bring it to life.  There isn’t one big cosmic purpose for everyone either; there is only the one you give to yourself – a personal purpose, an individual meaning, a distinct plot to the story that is your life.  Often this plot is difficult to follow; yet it is never impossible to follow and it is worth every bit of effort you can muster.

Each moment, each situation, each turn of events presents you with an opportunity to build the self you are capable of being.  It’s just a matter of accepting opportunities, implementing ideas, taking action, and actively expressing the purpose that is uniquely YOU.

You are stronger than any barrier standing in your way, because you have a purpose that cannot be denied.  You can be adaptable, innovative, hard working and tenacious.  You can imagine the possibilities and then work to make them real.

Here are five life skills that will help you do just that – the real fundamentals of being an empowered, self-directed human being:

1.  Curiosity

Joy comes easy to us in our youth because we haven’t become set too firmly in our ways.  Our willingness to curiously assess new things and varying perspectives allows us to experience flashes of insight and beauty wherever we go.  Those of us who fight the draw of our comfort zones as we age, who sustain our curiosity into our later years, learn a lot more and see far more beauty throughout our lifetime.

Curiosity, after all, is the foundation of lifelong growth.  It allows us to retain a beginner’s mind even as our wisdom expands.  In this way, an enduring curiosity Keep reading →

We have within us the power to start over again.
The future is always beginning now.

Every experience – positive and negative, strength and weakness, love and hate, health and sickness – adds to your personal growth.  You will never be called upon to face any challenge which you do not possess the strength to overcome.

But there are great enemies: anxiety, fear, worry, etc.  These inner demons set up conditions which disturb and prevent the clear thinking you require.

Calmness, confidence, receptiveness – with these your spirit can flourish; with these you will find the answers you want from day to day, and even more importantly, you will find the right questions.

So when stress and unhappiness begins weighing down on you, take a deep breath, clear your mind and ask yourself…

1. “Should I turn around?” – Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path.  Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly okay.  U-turns are allowed in life.  Remember, no one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win.  (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity chapter of 1,000 Little Things.)
2. “What makes me happy?” – Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.  Someday you will look back over your life and you will realize that the best moments – when you felt most alive – were the moments when you let your instincts and passions guide you.  If your passion takes you down a path few people travel, so be it.  Some people may ridicule you for being different and not living up to society’s standards, but deep down, some part of them wishes they had the courage to do the same. Keep reading →