Marc and Angel Hack Life

Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will give you awful advice.  It’s not because they have evil intentions.  It’s because they don’t understand the big picture – what your dreams, passions, and life goals mean to you.  They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.

So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.

As our friend Steve Jobs says:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”

Here are 10 ill-advised tips (lies) people will likely tell you when you decide to pursue your dreams, and why they are dreadfully mistaken.

1. You can follow your dreams someday, but right now you need to buckle down and be responsible. – Someday?  When is ‘someday?’  Someday is not a day at all.  It’s a foggy generalization of a time that will likely never come.  Today is the only day guaranteed to you.  Today is the only day you can begin to make a difference in your life.  And pursuing your dreams is what life is all about.  So don’t be irresponsible.  Don’t wait until ‘someday.’  Make today the first day of the rest of your new life.
2. You’re totally screwed if it doesn’t work out. – Wrong!  This is a giant, lame load of BS.  You’re not even close to being screwed.  In fact, the worst case scenario is that things don’t work out and you have to go back to doing exactly what you are doing right now.
3. It’s safer to stay at your day job. – Sure, I suppose.  But you know what’s even safer than that?  Going home, locking yourself in your bedroom, and never, ever coming out.  And just like that you will have flushed your entire life and your dreams down the toilet.  Remember, safer doesn’t always mean better.
4. That’s impossible! – It’s only impossible if you never do anything about it.  The reason certain things seem impossible is simply because nobody has achieved them yet.  But this doesn’t mean that with your help these things won’t become possible in the future.  If you truly dedicate yourself to an end result, almost anything is possible.  You just have to want it bad enough.
5. Only a lucky few “make it.” – That’s because those lucky few got off their rear ends and did something about it!  They had the drive, determination, and willpower that you have right now.  You can be one of them.  It’s up to you, and only you.
6. You might fail.  And failing is bad. – Failures are simply stepping stones to success.  No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.  The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake.  If you can’t handle failure, then you can’t handle success either.
7. You don’t have access to the right resources. – It’s not about having the right resources; it’s about exploiting the resources you do have access to.  Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.  Get it?
8. You need more money saved before you can take the first step. – You don’t need more money.  You need a plan.  You need a budget.  Eliminate ALL the nonessential costs in your life.  If pursuing your dream requires you to leave your day job, figure out the absolute minimum amount of income that you require to realistically live.  Studying those who have succeeded with similar ventures also helps.  But above all, take baby steps.  Don’t be foolish and assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now, or that you must quit your day job today in order to pursue your dreams.  Instead, ask yourself, “What actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”
9. You don’t need any help.  It’s smarter to go after it alone. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you hang with the wrong people, they will negatively affect you.  But if you hang with the right people, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.  Find your tribe and work together to make a difference in all of your lives.
10. That sounds like a lot of hard work. – You’re darn right it does!  But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.  I think success in life hinges on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing.  As long as you remain true to yourself and follow your own interests, values and dreams, you can find success through passion.  Perhaps most importantly, you won’t wake up a few years from now working in a career field you despise, wondering “How the heck am I going to do this for the next 30 years?”  So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions and dreams.

Disregard these misguided bits of nonsense and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling your dreams.

Now get out there and make a splash!

Photo by: Gigi 62

Do perfect men have big muscles?  Do perfect women have big breasts?  Do perfect couples have lots of children?  Do perfect husbands earn upwards of $100K a year?  Do perfect wives cook delicious meals?

Do perfect people have lots of friends?  Do perfect people have loads of life experience?  Do perfect people ever fail?

Yeah!  You bet they do!  All of this and soooooo much more…

Perfect men are scrawny.  Perfect men struggle with obesity.  Perfect men can barely do one pull-up.  Perfect men have bad backs that prevent them from lifting heavy objects.  Perfect men were only born with one arm.

Perfect women have tiny breasts.  Perfect women have fake breasts.  Perfect women have breast reductions.  Perfect women haven’t finished growing their breasts yet.  Perfect women have lost both breasts to cancer.

Perfect couples have one child.  Perfect couples have ten children.  Perfect couples adopt because, medically, they can’t have their own children.  Perfect couples adopt even when they can have their own.  Perfect couples never have children because they don’t want them.

Perfect husbands are stay-at-home dads.  Perfect husbands own multi-million dollar businesses.  Perfect husbands are migrant farmers.  Perfect husbands switch careers in their mid-50’s.  Perfect husbands have no idea what they want to do for a living.

Perfect wives don’t cook because they’re too tired when they get home from work.  Perfect wives only know how to cook Italian food.  Perfect wives hate cooking even though they’re good at it.  Perfect wives are chefs at fancy restaurants.  Perfect wives make Ramen Noodles.

Perfect people are introverts with two close friends.  Perfect people are extroverts with five hundred Facebook friends they communicate with regularly.  Perfect people hangout with their marching band friends.  Perfect people have famous friends.  Perfect people have a best friend with four legs.

Perfect people have traveled and lived all over the world.  Perfect people have yet to explore beyond their hometown in rural Montana.  Perfect people still live at home with their parents.  Perfect people are happy where they are.  Perfect people haven’t figured out how to get to where they want to go.

Perfect people fail a hundred times and lose hope.  Perfect people succeed on their very first attempt.  Perfect people don’t like to admit when they fail.  Perfect people see failure as an opportunity for growth.  Perfect people never fail because they never stretch themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Perfect people have scars on their faces and perfect complexions.  Perfect people have long brown hair at 60 and short grey hair at 35.  Perfect people wear wigs.  Perfect people have sex with men, women, both or none at all.  Perfect people can barely see over the grocery store counter and sometimes bump their heads at the top of doorways.  Perfect people have waistlines that are infinite in size and geometry.  Perfect people have skin tones as light as vanilla ice-cream and as rich dark chocolate.

Perfect people come from every corner of this beautiful planet and can be seen everywhere – even in the mirror.

Yeah!  That’s right!

Perfect is the way we are born.  Perfect is the way we are now.  Perfect is exclusively unique.

We are what perfect is.

Photo by: Movimente

This is a guest post by Marelisa of Abundance Blog at Marelisa Online.

One of the most fundamental human needs is the need to belong.  Noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow, identified it as one of the five basic needs.  We want to be part of a group and to feel loved and accepted by others.  That is, we want to be a member of a tribe.  A tribe-or a pack, clan, elected family, posse, crew, network, or true friends–is a group of people who share common interests and values and show genuine appreciation and care for each other.

Your tribe members are those people who accept you just as you are, and who want the very best for you.  They make you feel understood, and they encourage you to go after your goals and pursue your dreams.  Also, the members of your tribe help you to get through difficult times, and they provide you with a sense of community and support.

To paraphrase Sam Adams–from the Onion A.V. Club–, your tribe are those people you love to cruise the streets with while listening to the Ramones and playing air guitar, and who, at the same time, will come and slap you when you’re acting out of line.  Your tribe is made up of ‘your people.’  Think of the six main characters in the hit series “Friends,” and how they were always there for each other.

Sir Ken Robinson–author of “The Element,” a book on how to find work that you’re passionate about–argues that your tribe is essential in helping you to find your element.  Members of a tribe kick ideas around with each other and validate each other.  Also, tribe members drive each other to explore the real extent of their talents.  In addition, Robinson argues that when a group of people with common interests come together, a synergy is created which allows them to create something much greater than any of them could have created individually.

If you feel tribe-less, rest assured in the knowledge that your tribe is out there.  In addition, if you’re already surrounded by a supportive tribe, remember that there are probably many members of your tribe that you have not met yet.  Below you’ll find twelve valuable tips and insights to help you find your tribe-if you haven’t found it already–, or to help you expand your tribe-if you already have one.

Twelve Tips for Finding or Expanding Your Tribe

American journalist and writer Jane Howard is credited with the following quote: “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”  Here are twelve tips for finding or expanding your tribe:

1. Think of the qualities you want your tribe members to have.  As an illustration, you may want each of your tribe members to have the following qualities: treats people with respect; listens but doesn’t judge; has a quirky sense of humor; is an artist; lives with passion; doesn’t sweat the small stuff; is loyal and trustworthy.
2. Decide if there’s a particular type of activity that you want to engage in with your tribe, such as starting a book club, taking hiking trips, going to happy hour, or visiting museums and gallery openings.
3. Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts.  When was the last time you had a gut feeling about someone?  Sometimes you’ll meet someone new and you’ll feel drawn to them right away, almost as if you were old friends.  Other times you’ll come across people who immediately make you want to put up your guard.  Pay attention to your gut reaction to others.
4. One way to find your tribe is to use Social Media to create a virtual tribe; you can then look for ways to meet in the offline world.  For example, Twitter allows you to search for people who share your interests and who actively talk about these interests.  Use the topics and activities that you’re interested in as key terms.  You can also enter the city where you live as a key term in order to find others who share your interests and live in your area.
5. Start a blog on a subject that interests you–such as breeding bull terriers, chasing UFOs, Russian 19th century novelists, and so on–and create your own community.  If you can get together a group of bloggers who are like -minded and live in the same city, you can host a blog meet-up so you can all meet in person.
6. Look for upcoming community events in your city that are centered around activities you enjoy.
7. Search for Yahoo groups and forums which cater to a particular topic that you’re passionate about.
8. If there are one or two people you already know who you would like to strengthen your friendship with, try to find a way to work together.  You could plant a communal garden together, or meet once a week to complete unfinished projects–such as crafts, sewing, knitting, or woodworking– as a group.  Working with others can help you strengthen your bonds with them.
9. Marketing guru Seth Godin advices that you create your tribe by helping others to achieve their goals.  Connect people in your social network who have common interests; give them access to information and resources that they need; and let them know that you’re available if they need help.
10. Andy Paige–a stylist on TLC– explains that you need to look for your 1/3.  To summarize: Andy argues that 1/3 of the people you come across will dislike you; 1/3 of the people you meet will be indifferent toward you; and 1/3 of the people you come into contact with will love you.  You’re looking for that that last 1/3.  Those are your people.  Don’t worry about the other 2/3.
11. Create rituals that you can share with your tribe, such as having regular meals together.  You can also have in-jokes and slang or jargon that’s unique to your tribe.  Look for ways to make your group cohere and know that it’s a group.
12. Keep in mind that the people you hang out with will have a huge impact on every aspect of your life, from your level of income—several financial authors argue that your income is equal to the income of your five best friends–, to your level of happiness—studies show that happiness is contagious.  In addition, we have a subconscious tendency to model the behavior of those around us.  Choose your tribe wisely.

Conclusion

The members of your tribe are your allies on your life journey.  When you’re creating or expanding your tribe, look for people who will lift you up, help you grow, recharge you, inspire you, and celebrate with you, and who are willing to lend a hand when you need it.  In addition, always remember that as a tribe member you have responsibilities toward your tribe.  You need to give back to the tribe and offer other tribe members your support, just as they support you.  Now get out there and start creating or expanding your tribe.

Marelisa Fábrega blogs about creativity, productivity, and simply getting the most out of life over at Abundance Blog at Marelisa Online.  Marelisa is the author of the eBooks How to Be More Creative – A Handbook for Alchemists,  and How To Live Your Best Life – The Essential Guide for Creating and Achieving Your Life List.

Photo by: Frabuleuse

It’s fairly easy to find a well written book or online article.  But it’s not always easy to find one with genuine value that you connect with.

That’s because, these days, books and online articles are a dime a dozen.  There are literally thousands of them written on the same topic every year.  So deciphering the ‘good’ from the ‘great’ can prove to be quite a challenge.

But if you look hard enough, in the right places, you’ll find a few gems containing life-altering advice that can be immediately implemented and used as an instrument for self-improvement.

For this reason, I’ve compiled the following list of books and online articles containing value so profound that each of them literally changed my life.

I therefore extend my gratitude to the authors and pass them along to you with the simple hope that they will provide value to you as well.

Happy reading…

1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – Tolle’s message is clear: living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment.  This book is carefully, thoughtfully and beautifully written.  Not only does it illuminate the fundamental, slippery, destructive patterns of the mind or ego which confound one’s spiritual and even physical well-being, but it also provides a variety of simple and practical techniques for breaking down and dissolving these various forms of mental pollution.  I use Tolle’s calming, contemplative techniques almost every day and they work wonderfully for me.
2. The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck– Pretty much the granddaddy of all self-improvement books, it’s easily one of the best nonfiction works I’ve ever read.  By melding love, science, and spirituality into a primer for personal growth, Peck guides the reader through lessons on delaying gratification, accepting responsibility for decisions, dedicating oneself to truth and reality, and creating a balanced lifestyle.
3. “Find what you love.” - 2005 Stanford Commencement Address by Steve Jobs – In his 2005 Stanford University commencement address Steve Jobs discussed three personal stories from his life.  The advice he delivered was clear: find what you love, trust in your instincts, and follow your heart.  Before reading Jobs’ speech back in 2005, I was struggling with a job I didn’t love because it was really the only thing I had ever tried.  It was all I knew. Jobs says, “You’ve got to find what you love.” And his article helped me do just that.  I finally realized that I was wasting my life living someone else’s dream.  If I settled for someone else’s dream, I’d grow old and die without ever seeking my own.
4. Getting Things Done by David Allen – The ultimate ‘organize your life’ book.  Allen’s ideas and processes are for all those people who are overwhelmed with too many things to do, too little time to do them, and a general sense of unease that something important is being missed.  The primary goal of this book is to teach you how to effectively get your ‘to-do inbox’ to empty.
5. Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young by Mary Schmich – While the advice here is a bit more inspirational than it is practical, I have always enjoyed this short piece of literature.  In the late 1990’s, when I was in high school it became an international phenomenon when it was turned into a slow rock song by Baz Luhrmann (director of the 1996 movie Romeo and Juliet) that jumped to #1 on the U.S. and U.K. pop charts.  The song was played at my high school’s class of 1999 graduation commencement ceremony.  It eventually became famously known as “Wear Sunscreen.”  Details aside, I still re-read it in it’s entirety from time to time when I need a quick dose of inspiration.
6. Don’t Die With Your Music Still In You by Steve Pavlina– Above all, this short read taught me that “to abandon a comfortable lifestyle that isn’t deeply fulfilling is to abandon nothing at all.”  It helped me understand that I was defending a comfortable, unfulfilling career without good reason.  At the start of each workday, I was reluctant to get out of bed.  At the end of each workday, the amount of satisfaction I received from the work I was doing was insignificant.  Which in turn caused me to ask myself: Why should I stay loyal to such a meaningless job?  So I switched it up and never looked back.
7. Switch: How To Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath – A super great psychology book about real, concrete ways to make lasting change in both your personal and professional life.  So many powerful insights, based on fact not theory.  Inspiring counter-intuitive stories of huge organizational change against all odds.  As they explain in the first chapter, “All successful changes share a common pattern.”  I highly recommended this read for everyone.
8. The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason – The best book on money management ever written.  Although only 145 pages, this book is packed to the brim with powerful, life changing information.  I’ve read it three times and I still pull new pearls of wisdom out of it.  Babylon should be mandatory reading beginning at the grade school level, then again in college, and should be given as a gift right along with a college diploma.
9. How To Become A Millionaire In Three Years by Jason L. Baptiste – Every once in a while I come across an online article I wish I had read ten years ago.  This is one of them.  It contains timeless advice on making money by building something of your own.  Every wannabe entrepreneur should print this out, hang it on their refrigerator, and read it every morning.  That’s what I did with it.
10. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – Easily one of the best and most popular books on people-skills ever written. Carnegie uses his adept storytelling skills to illustrate how to be successful by making the most of human relations.
11. How to Find What You Love to Do by Brian Kim – For me, this short read was a wake-up call.  It’s basically a how-to guide based on the ideas Steve Jobs presented in his 2005 commencement address.  Kim emphasizes the importance of self-assessment and made me take a long hard look at myself to figure out what it is that makes me happy.  What’s more, his article discusses how uncertainty and fear are the most common obstacles preventing people from doing what they love to do.  His solution involves self-analysis: identify your skills and interests, then use your strengths to live your passion.  In Kim’s words, “conquer indecision and ACT, and you will most definitely conquer all fear.”
12. The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz – This is another classic self-improvement book.  Schwartz gives the reader useful, proactive steps for achieving success.  He presents a clear-cut program for getting the most out of your job, marriage, family life, and other relationships.  In doing so, he proves that you don’t need to be an intellectual or have innate talent to attain great success and satisfaction in life.
13. Everything You Wanted to Know About Simplifying Your Life by Leo Babauta – This compilation of online articles has truly helped me simplify my life.  Together, they cover everything from appreciating simple pleasures to decluttering your work space.  These articles are about creating a simple life for yourself, which means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love and value.  If you’re looking to simplify your life, look no further.
14. Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi – Ferrazzi explains the guiding principles he has mastered over a lifetime of personal and professional networking and describes what it takes to build the kind of lasting, mutually beneficial relationships that lead to professional and personal success.  Most of this book is fantastic - you learn how to relate to people, how to establish contacts and maintain connections, and how to create a social network.  If you interact with a lot of people on a regular basis, it’s a great read.
15. The Most Important Blog Post You’ll Probably Never Read by Glen AllSopp – If you’re even slightly interested in making money online as a blogger, website owner, etc., then this article is for you.  It provides a short, insightful, bullsh**t free look at how to do just that.  It really opened my eyes to perspectives on success that I wasn’t seeing clearly beforehand.
16. Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? by Seth Godin – A linchpin, as Seth describes it, is somebody in an organization who is indispensable, who cannot be replaced—her role is just far too unique and valuable.  And then he goes on to say, well, seriously folks, you need to be one of these people, you really do.  To not be one is economic and career suicide.  It is a book that reveals the truth about working for a boss, fitting in and following the rules.  The only way to create a good life for yourself is to become indispensable and stand out.
17. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – More parable than novel, “The Alchemist” uses the story of young shepherd Santiago’s search for his personal legend as an allegory for everyman’s struggle to break from the comfortable confines of conformity and pursue his life dreams.  Along the way, of course, our young everyman is beset by numerous setbacks, testing his resolve and forcing him to become attuned to the Soul of the World in order to survive.  By paying attention to the details in the world around him, which serve as omens guiding him towards his goal, young Santiago becomes an alchemist in his own right, spinning unfavorable circumstances into riches.  I’ve read this tale a few times now, and it always provides priceless inspiration.
18. 18 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18 by me – I know what you’re thinking.  How did an article I personally wrote change my life?  Well, it’s all about the soul searching that went into writing it.  I had to dig deep within myself and seriously contemplate all the important lessons I’ve learned over the last ten years.  In doing so, I noticed a few things that were out of place in my life, and I adjusted them.  I can already directly attribute a few of my recent successes to the actions I took after I wrote this article.

Can you think of a book or online article that changed your life?  Please share it with us in the comments.
Photo by: Éole

Once upon a time, there was a girl who could do anything in the world she wanted.  All she had to do was choose something and focus.  So one day she sat down in front of a blank canvas and began to paint.  Every stroke was more perfect than the next, slowly and gracefully converging to build a flawless masterpiece.  And when she eventually finished painting, she stared proudly at her work and smiled.

It was obvious to the clouds and the stars, who were always watching over her, that she had a gift.  She was an artist.  And she knew it too.  She felt it in every fiber of her being.  But a few moments after she finished painting, she got anxious and quickly stood up.  Because she realized that while she had the ability to do anything in the world she wanted to do, she was simply spending her time moving paint around on a piece of canvas.

She felt like there was so much more in the world to see and do – so many options.  And if she ultimately decided to do something else with her life, then all the time she spent painting would be a waste.  So she glanced at her masterpiece one last time, and walked out the door into the moonlight.  And as she walked, she thought, and then she walked some more.

While she was walking, she didn’t notice the clouds and the stars in the sky who were trying to signal her, because she was preoccupied with an important decision she had to make.  She had to choose one thing to do out of all the possibilities in the world.  Should she practice medicine?  Or design buildings?  Or teach children?  She was utterly stumped.

Twenty-five years later, the girl began to cry.  Because she realized she had been walking for so long, and that over the years she had become so enamored by everything that she could do – the endless array of possibilities – that she hadn’t done anything meaningful at all.  And she learned, at last, that life isn’t about possibility – anything is possible.  Life is about making a decision – deciding to do something that moves you.

So the girl, who was no longer a girl, purchased some canvas and paint from a local craft store, drove to a nearby park, and began to paint.  One stroke gracefully led into the next just as it had so many moons ago.  And as she smiled, she continued painting through the day and into the night.  Because she had finally made a decision.  And there was still some time left to revel in the magic that life is all about.

Photo by: James Jordan

This is a guest post by Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom.

For anyone under 50 reading this, I have some good news for you.  50 is pretty darned good!

I even surprise myself by writing this, because believe me, I never thought the day would come when I would embrace being half a century.  But it has arrived, and it doesn’t stink.

Yes, yes — there are the inevitable physical changes that are quite unsettling.  Things do start to droop, wrinkle and expand.  Sometimes you will catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder who that middle-aged person is.  On the outside, you may look like a grown-up, but on the inside it’s crazy how you still feel like you are 30.  Or younger.  (Ask my teenagers.  They hate that about me.)

When I was in my 30’s and 40’s, I took life much more seriously.

In fact, I think I was mysteriously older then than I am now.  Is that possible?  When you are busy building a career, raising children, accumulating stuff, and creating a lifestyle, you are defined by that busyness.  It’s serious work.  You have to make money to pay for the lifestyle.  Your kids need to be raised right lest they become a scourge on society and embarrass you by living in a trailer and eating bugs.

Those years are fulfilling and wonderful, but they also are fraught with upheaval and angst.  Things that once didn’t matter when you were younger, like having the right cocktail napkins or winning yard of the month, somehow matter so very much.  We struggle toward some kind of perfection and achievement that is ‘out there’ somewhere.

I don’t know about you, but I have spent a lot of time trying to create the self I thought I should be.  I cobbled together the perfect me made from pieces of this and that.  The clothes I wear, the neighborhood we live in, the car I drive, the friends I have.  It looks pretty nice from the outside.  And much of it is nice on the inside too.

But I spent way, way too much time in the work of crafting myself, and far too little time just being myself.

When you are spinning your wheels to maintain this beautifully crafted life, you miss out on a whole lot of real living.

If I were able to time travel and visit my twenty or thirty-year-old self, there are some things I would really like to teach me.  Since I can’t do that, hopefully you will benefit from some of the lessons I’ve learned over the last 50 years.

1. 50 doesn’t feel like 50.  It doesn’t feel like the age you imagined when you are in your 20’s or 30’s.  For the most part, it feels the way you feel right now.  But smarter and more confident.  You also have more time and resources to enjoy life.  So don’t fear it.  Look forward to it.
2. Experience life before you settle down.  Whatever it is you want to do or experience, do as much of it as you can before you have children.  Especially travel.  Live in a hovel and drive a beat-up Dodge Dart if you have to.  But go have some really great, amazing, mind-blowing experiences.
3. Money and stuff are not all that important.  Yes, you want enough to be comfortable and do the things you want to do.  But accumulating for the sake of accumulating is so boring and empty.  Feed the soul, not the ego.
4. Don’t try to impress people.  That’s an act that brings nothing but a momentary ego boost.  Be real with people instead.  Connect with fewer people on a level that is deeper and more profound.
5. Let your kids fail.  Your kids will be okay, even if you think they are headed for the juvie right now.  Don’t come to their rescue all the time.  Don’t manage every detail of their lives or over-schedule them with tao quan dao or viola lessons.  Give them some boundaries, and then relax about them.
6. Bad things will happen.  Part of living and getting older is experiencing upheavals in life.  People lose jobs, get divorced, die.  When you are younger, and things have gone pretty well, this can be shocking.  The bad things won’t kill you.  You will learn from them if you allow it.
7. Not much is worth fighting about.  If you can avoid it, don’t fight.  Step back from arguments with your spouse or family member or neighbor.  When you feel anger surging up and you want to say that snarky thing on the tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away.  Let yourself calm down.  You don’t have to be right or win the argument.  It just doesn’t matter that much.
8. Little things stick with you.  So pay attention to them.  Like watching your child sleep.  Preparing a meal with your family.  Sharing a great laugh with an old friend.  That is the real stuff life is made of.
9. Keep having fun.  Fun is way underrated.  With all of our responsibilities, fun seems like an indulgence.  It shouldn’t be.  It should be a requirement.  Remember what you did to have fun when you were younger, and go do it again.  Leave the house messy and the yard un-mowed for the weekend.  You will remember the fun, not the clean house or yard.  Make time for fun.
10. Make things simpler.  Pick the five most important things in your life now, and focus on those things.  Let the other stuff go.  Let go of the activities, the events, the commitments, the shopping, the to-do lists.  Stop the busyness and really enjoy the important things you have right now.
11. Keep your brain active.  Don’t get into a mental rut.  Do new things, learn new things, explore new ideas in all areas of your life.  Keep challenging yourself and your mind.  Be curious and interested in the world around you.
12. Hang out with younger people.  Stay connected with what the generation behind you is doing and thinking.  Establish friendships with them.  You will benefit and learn from each other.  Don’t act superior, because younger people may know a whole lot more than you do!
13. Keep exercising and eating healthy.  You know this, but I’ll remind you anyway.  The older you get, the more important a healthy lifestyle is.  In my 20’s, I could shovel down a Wendy’s hamburger and fries every day and never see the difference.  Now I just look at a hamburger and my butt gets bigger.
14. Manage aging, but why fight it?  You can spend a fortune on face creams, plastic surgery, hair growth formulas, and botox, but eventually you realize you are fighting an uphill battle.  Groom yourself nicely.  Stay fit.  Have unsightly things removed.  But accept the beauty of aging.  A striking mature man or woman is much more attractive than someone who looks overly taunt, tanned or top-heavy.
15. Everyone doesn’t have to like you and vice versa.  One of my friends likes to say, “She’s not in my cluster.”  Sometimes there are people in your life who are just not the right fit or who drain you dry.  It is fine to back off from them or even let them go.
16. Marriages evolve and change.  The feelings you had for the man or woman you married will mutate and evolve several times over the life of a marriage.  Hopefully you will evolve in the same direction or at least embrace and accept the changes in the other person.  It takes work, and sometimes it takes counseling.  Don’t gloss over those changes or you may wake up next to a stranger one day.
17. Yes, you can still have great sex.  When I was in my 20’s, I thought you stopped doing it when you were in your early 40’s.  I assumed middle aged people would no longer want to disrobe in front of each other.  I’m happy to inform you that this is not the case.
18. Tend to your friendships.  Especially your oldest friendships.  These are the people who know and love you best, in spite of your flaws.  Treat them like the precious gems they are.
19. Stop worrying.  Worry does absolutely nothing productive.  In fact, it is counterproductive.  The more you worry, the more you reinforce the problem or concern in your brain.
20. Everything is not always black or white.  Life is often very ambiguous.  Sometimes there isn’t a right or wrong decision or choice.  Things are not always completely clear.  You may not get THE answer, so you just have to wing it.
21. Take action on your dreams.  If you’ve been putting things off — a new career, more education, the big trip — start taking action right now to make it happen.  Don’t dream about it anymore.  Start doing it.
22. Don’t dwell on your wounds.  Everyone has something that has caused pain and has been limiting them in some way.  If you need help to deal with it, then get it right away.  Don’t let the past limit your future.
23. Embrace change.  As uncomfortable as it is sometimes, change allows us to stretch and grow.  New things feel awkward and scary at first, but those feelings go away, and you are left with something bigger and bolder in your life.
24. Be vulnerable.  Allow yourself to feel, to be open and authentic.  Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad.  This is real life.  This is how you welcome new opportunities.
25. Count your blessings every day.  I know, this is a refrigerator magnet line, but practice it daily anyway.  There is so much good, so much beauty, so much love in your life.  What more do you really need?  You have so much right now, you just need to pause long enough to appreciate it.

Barrie Davenport is a personal and career coach and the founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about bold and fearless living.  Download her free ebook, How to Live a Meaningful Life.

Photo by: Pierre Pouliquin

If the economic downturn has clouded your mind with worry, then our new sister site, What Money Cannot Buy, is for you.  Over the past few weeks, What Money Cannot Buy users, a positive, resourceful group of individuals, have submitted dozens of simple pleasures and priceless moments that make them happy and don’t cost a dime.  So ignore the gloomy news forecasters and get your bliss on for free.

Here’s a sample of 44 entries that were recently submitted to the site:

1. Realizing you were smiling the entire time you were talking to someone, right after you hang up the phone.
2. The warm coziness of my own bed after I return home from a long business trip.
3. Playing Rock-Paper-Scissors to settle a decision with one of your friends.
4. When a wild animal is tame enough to eat food right out of your hand.
5. Crying on my sister’s shoulder.  Without the help of my family and close friends, I would be lost in a world of emotion, stress, and confusion.
6. Picking and eating fresh fruit right off the tree.
7. The joy of watching a baby smile.
8. The proud look on my 4-year-old son’s face when he learns a new skill.
9. The bittersweet emotions that rush through your body on the very last day of high school.
10. Time with the love of my life.  Last May, my husband of 27 years was diagnosed with cancer and given 3 to 6 months to live.  We prayed, cried, loved, and laughed.  Now, 11 months later, we are still savoring every smile, kiss, and breath.  We know these moments will end sooner rather than later, but we are so grateful for the time we do have together.
11. The rush you get when you’re driving on the open road and your favorite song randomly plays on the radio.
12. The comforting sound of my father’s car pulling into the driveway when he finally returns from a long business trip.
13. When my baby girl looked up at me and said, “Daddy!” for the very first time.
14. Seeing two elderly folks who are madly in love.  It’s a sight of love that has surpassed the tests of time.
15. Kissing in the rain.
16. The feeling of cool morning grass under your bare feet when you walk out to get the newspaper at sunrise.
17. Beginner’s eyes.  You’ll never see it again for the very first time.
18. The sound and sight of ocean waves.
19. The feeling you get inside when you go out of your way to make someone’s day a little brighter.  Doing something nice and unexpected for somebody else doesn’t always require money, and often the gesture has more meaning when it doesn’t.
20. A good photograph of a special moment.  It transforms the moment into a tangible keepsake and helps make the memory of that moment last a lifetime.
21. A rainbow breaking through the storm clouds on a calm, rainy summer afternoon.
22. The exhilarating rush of adolescent love.  Those magical moments of adolescent lust and affection that only you and one other person rightly remember.
23. The little kicks and pokes I feel daily as I enter the last month of my first pregnancy.  It’s truly remarkable!
24. Sharing a good laugh with friends and family.  Some of the most memorable moments in my life have been moments spent in laughter.
25. The excitement of swinging on a swing as high as you possibly can.
26. The simple fact that I can read the sincerity in her eyes when she says, “I love you.”
27. The awesomeness of skipping rocks across water.  It doesn’t matter how old I get, this one never gets old.
28. The tears of joy that flow when you see your beloved for the first time after a 10 month deployment to Iraq.  All the months of struggle and loneliness are washed away the second he gets off that plane.
29. The soothing comfort of an old familiar smell.  Earlier today pulled into my parent’s driveway after being away for over a year.  I could smell familiarity in the air – the scent of the pine tree in the neighbor’s yard.  And as I headed through the front door, more familiar smells consumed my senses.  Gosh, it feels good to be home.
30. The keen wisdom my grandfather has acquired slowly over the course of 86 years, and the amazing stories and life lessons he shares with me every time I visit him.
31. A first kiss.  The sweet rush of butterflies in your tummy when you kiss someone special for the very first time.
32. When you look into the eyes of your best friend and know, without a doubt, that you can trust her.  You can see it in her eyes and you can feel it in your heart.  She has no ulterior motive.
33. The first sight of daffodils poking through the snow after a long, hard winter.
34. The realization of true love.  The warm feeling you get many years after your first kiss when you realize you married the right person.
35. The surreal beauty of watching lightning strike in the distance.
36. An unexpected compliment.  It seemed like just another dreary Monday morning, but when she walked into my office and said, “I love your shirt! That color looks great on you,” it brightened the rest of my day.
37. A peaceful, romantic picnic with your significant other on a warm sunny day.
38. The joy of telling an interesting true story.  One of the most enticing roles we lead in life is that of a storyteller.  There are few things more satisfying than telling a true story that others enjoy listening to.
39. The feeling of self-confidence is unquestionably priceless. It cannot be purchased with money, but it can buy you more opportunities and take you farther than any amount of money ever could.
40. The excitement of a white Christmas.
41. A pillow fight with two of your best friends.
42. When my cat snuggles up on my chest while I’m laying on my back.  He’s so warm and fuzzy and cute.
43. Grilled steak and potatoes home-cooked for me by my husband on a lazy Friday night after I’ve had a long week.  Nothing beats sitting at home in my pajamas and eating my favorite food, made by the man I love, with the man I love.
44. When the song on the radio ends right as you pull into the driveway.

If you enjoyed these simple pleasures and priceless moments, be sure to check What Money Cannot Buy every day for a quick, fresh dose of positive content.

Photo by: Ricky David

‘How To Reprogram Your Mind For Self Improvement’ is a guest post written by Justin.

One of the most fulfilling things a person can do is take some kind of action that causes them to improve in a certain area of their life.  Think about this from your own perspective for a second.  Remember a time when you accomplished something that proved you had become better?

For me, when I first began my entrepreneurial career, one of my goals was to be a professional speaker.  Despite how nervous I would get before a talk (mostly due to a total lack of experience), I got out and started speaking.  I was mediocre at best.  But I kept trying, learning, studying and practicing.  When the opportunity came to speak to a huge group of new university students, I delivered my most confident and inspiring talk to date.  I still remember the rush of excitement at the end of the talk when a bunch of the students lined up to speak to me and ask me questions at the end.  I knew I had taken a step in the right direction.  The real win: I was improving and it was an awesome feeling!

For the past 3 years, I have spent most of my time developing my business and implementing as many self improvement ideas as humanly possible.  What I realized along the way was that I was not merely improving, but I was actually reprogramming my mind to get rid of old habits and beliefs and instill new, more empowering ones.

So here are 7 techniques that will help you reprogram your mind to create a new and improved you:

Study the work of a role model.

Find someone who is already living and producing results at a level you admire and aspire towards.  They could be an author, speaker, actor, blogger, professor, etc.  The key is to study these people.  Read books or articles they have written a number of times.  Study their mannerisms when they speak or perform.  Notice the way they carry themselves publicly.

Ultimately, the goal here is to understand how they think so that you can emulate the same kind of thinking in your life.  I’m not saying you should try to be like the person, because we are all unique and we need to celebrate our uniqueness.  Rather, I am suggesting that you figure out the intangibles that made this person so admirable to begin with and incorporate those intangibles into your own behavior.

Learn to trust the sound of your own voice.

There are more than enough self improvement books that talk about the power of affirmations.  I am not here to argue the validity or the science behind affirmations.  What I will say is that from my own personal experiences, when you repeat a set of instructions to yourself over and over again, you eventually start to believe your own voice.

Here is a quick process you can follow to create your own digital affirmations that you can use in your own reprogramming process.

• Write out a description of your ideal outcomes in all the various areas of your life.  This can include business, financial, relationship, health, etc…
• Record your voice reading these statements with as much feeling and belief as possible.
• Use software like Garageband to overlay some relaxing or new age style music faintly in the background.
• Export as an mp3 file and listen to it on low volumes as you work, exercise, sleep or during any activity where you feel it works for you.

For the analytic people out there, you cannot measure the benefit of this exercise directly but I will say from personal experience that it has been a technique I have used to help achieve a number of my more difficult, longer-term goals.

Hang out with an influencer.

I think most people buy into the idea that we become a product of our environment.  What better way to reprogram yourself for improvement than spending time with someone who inspires you.  When I first got started in business, I was struggling to pay the bills and find enough clients to keep me going.  Even when I did find clients, I did a terrible job billing for my time and I was not recognizing my own value as a service provider.

I was lucky enough to meet another business owner who had built a number of successful companies and had already been through all of the tough business lessons that I had yet to be exposed to.  Over time we became friends and I was able to absorb an incredible amount of information about business, mindset, dealing with clients, social skills, etc. – all of the things that made him so talented at business.

The challenge here is that you can’t just walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend.  It is tough enough to find a decent influencer, but when you do, you have to make sure that you take interest in them and express your desire to learn from them.  At the same time, show them that you value their time and bring something of your own to the table.  If they feel they can also learn from you and your life experiences, they will be far more willing to hang out with you.

Wage a war against the crybaby in your head.

Have you ever had an idea that totally captivated your imagination and inspired you to think about a life far beyond the one you are living today?  If so, were you also among the majority of people who had that cynical, crybaby, negative voice pop up and immediately tell you all the reasons why this new idea could never come true?

Instead of falling victim to this defeating voice, try turning the tables.  Picture that voice as a vicious enemy trying to steal your life, power and happiness away from you.  Challenge the voice.  Question its authenticity.  Question its reasoning.  Get pissed off if you have to.  Make it powerless against your will.

Realize that you have the choice to replace that voice with a more encouraging, faithful and friendly one.  A voice that will consider your goal as not just a possibility, but a probability.  A voice that does not look externally for validation before taking action, but rather uses self belief as its driving force.  A voice that realizes that any person who has ever achieved greatness had to do so against similar odds and that all things are possible to those who commit to their vision.

Use new relationships to develop a new persona.

When you meet someone for the first time, they have absolutely no idea what you are like to hang out with.  If you have been shy and timid your whole life, the best time to come out of that shell is when you meet someone new.  If you are at a networking event and someone walks up to introduce themselves, your old self may have quietly shook their hand and looked down in embarrassment.  Why not use the opportunity to develop a new persona?

Instead of being shy and timid, greet the person with a big smile.  Look them in the eye and project your voice with confidence as you say your name.  Have an interesting question prepared that immediately gets the person engaged.  Instead of asking what they do for a living (the standard), ask them what their favorite restaurant is or ask them about a hobby they are passionate about.  Let their enthusiasm to share their passion enhance your confidence level and energize your own enthusiasm.

If you practice this often enough, you will eventually become that new person and you no longer have to practice.  It will be who you ARE!

Acquire a competitive edge.

I don’t know about you, but when I am put in a position where I’m competing against one or more people, my motivation shoots up to a whole new level.  I have talked to many others who experience the same.

When you compete against someone, in any area of life, you setup two incredibly powerful forces.

The first is the desire to be triumphant.  Imagine the excitement someone must feel when they win a gold medal in the Olympics.  They have achieved a personal dream and they get a flood of recognition from friends, family, media, fans and ultimately their entire country.  What person would not love this kind of validation of success?  The same kind of triumph can be experienced (maybe not at the same level of intensity) when you win a competition that you have been involved in, no matter how small it may be.

The second (and more powerful) force that gets created in competition is the desire to avoid defeat.  Most humans instinctively associate any form of loss with pain and in most cases, will do anything necessary to avoid that pain.  If you enter some kind of competition that will help drive you towards your goals, this pain avoidance force may be the deciding factor in your success.

Use competitive scenarios to drive you forward but remember to detach from the outcome.  If you happen to lose your competition, don’t get down in the dumps.  Focus on what positives came out of it (usually a drastic increase in results) and continue moving towards your goals.

Get up early and invest this extra time in yourself.

Our minds are the most calm and open to influence when we first wake up.  As the day goes on, we get busier and the number of demands and requests increase.  Most of us in today’s society are extremely busy trying to balance work, family, social life and so on.  It is very easy to get to the end of a day and still have a pile of items on your to do list that did not get completed.

Early morning is an ideal time to create some personal time for your own development.  Unless you are in a job that forces you out of bed at 5am, you probably have no obligations at that time of day.  Instead of sleeping until the last possible minute, try getting up an hour or even two hours earlier than you have been.

Use this time to appreciate the stillness of the world.  Get into a headspace of clarity and focus on what you are trying to create for your life.  Study empowering books and self development training programs.  Write out your goals.  In essence, do whatever you can to condition your mind so that you are creating the ideal life for yourself.

By the time the rest of the world is waking up, you will have already invested more time in yourself than most people will for a month.  The energy you get from doing this can carry you through the rest of your day and you will be in a much more productive frame of mind.

For the past few months, I have been starting my day just after 5am.  This video shows some of the things I do to get ready for my day.  Maybe it will give you some ideas:

Do you use any of these techniques?  Do you have some of your own that have made a major impact on your life?  I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

Also, I highly recommend these best selling self improvement books:

• Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
• Focal Point: A Proven System to Simplify Your Life, Double Your Productivity, and Achieve All Your Goals
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

Justin Popovic runs a success coaching blog at igniteyouressence.com and he also trains entrepreneurs how to develop and market their own dynamic web presence using Wordpress at Wordpress for Business.

Photo by: Thomas Hawk

Far From Perfect

About a year ago on his 30th birthday, after spending his entire adult life loosely dating different women, he suddenly decided he was ready to settle down.  He wanted to find a real mate… a lover… a life partner – someone who could show him what it meant to be in a deep, monogamous, trusting relationship.

So he searched far and wide.  There were so many women to choose from, all with great qualities, but none with everything he was looking for.  And then, finally, just when he thought that he would never find her, he found her.  And she was perfect.  She had everything he ever wanted in a woman.  And he rejoiced, for he knew how rare a find she was.  “I’ve done my research,” he told her.  “You are the one for me.”

But as the days and weeks turned into months and years, he started to realize that she was far from perfect.  She had issues with trust and self-confidence, she liked to be silly when he wanted to be serious, and she was much messier than he was.  So he started to have doubts – doubts about her, doubts about himself, doubts about everything.

And to validate these doubts, he subconsciously tested her.  He constantly looked around the apartment for things that weren’t clean just to prove that she was messy.  He decided to go out alone to parties with his single guy friends just to prove that she had trust issues.  He set her up and waited for her to do something silly just to prove that she couldn’t be serious.  It went on like this for awhile.

As the tests continued – and as she, clearly shaken and confused, failed more and more often – he became more and more convinced that she was not a perfect fit for him after all.  Because he had dated women in the past who were more mature, more confident, and more willing to have serious conversations.

Inevitably, he found himself at a crossroads.  Should he continue to be in a relationship with a woman who he once thought was perfect, but now realizes is lacking the qualities that he already found in the other women that came before her?  Or should he return to the lifestyle he had come from, drifting from one empty relationship to the next?

Every Light Casts A Shadow

When he showed up at my door this evening looking for answers, this is what I told him:

One of the greatest lessons we get to learn in life is that we are often attracted to a bright light in another person.  Initially, this light is all we see.  It’s so bright and beautiful.  But after awhile, as our eyes adjust, we notice that this light is accompanied by a shadow – and usually a fairly large one.

When we see this shadow, we have two choices: We can either shine our own light on the shadow or we can run from it and continue searching for a shadowless light.

If we decide to run from the shadow, we must also run from the light that created it.  And we soon find out that our light is the only light illuminating the space around us.  Then, at some point, as we look closer at our own light, we notice something out of the ordinary.  Our light is casting a shadow too.  And our shadow is a bigger and darker than some of the other shadows we’ve seen.

If, on the other hand, instead of running from the shadow, we decide to walk towards it, something amazing happens.  We inadvertently cast our own light on the shadow, and likewise, the light that created this shadow casts its light on ours.  Suddenly, both shadows begin to disappear.  Not completely, of course, but every the part of the two shadows that are touched by the other person’s light illuminate and disappear.

And as a result, we each find more of that bright beautiful light in the other person – which is precisely what we have been searching for all along.

Photo by: Antony Chammond

‘20 Tips That Could Save Your Life’ is a guest post written by Diggy.

When your life is in jeopardy, nothing else matters.

Personal safety is not a topic I see many bloggers writing about, yet it’s a vital topic to the wellbeing of our lives.  Simply put, your health and safety form the foundation for everything else you do.  Maintaining this foundation must come before wealth, success, happiness, and almost every other aspect of self improvement and personal growth.

As you might expect, preparation is the key.  Often there are many simple habits and observations a victim could have followed to prevent themselves from becoming a victim.  And sadly, in many cases, these simple habits and observations could have saved their life.

Remember, there’s a big difference between being scared and being prepared.  I am not, nor would I ever suggest you live so cautiously that you scare yourself out of trying new things and seeing new places.  I am simply suggesting that, like a boy scout, you adequately prepare yourself before doing so.

1. Let Someone Know Where You Will Be – When you live alone or even when you go out for the night, let a friend know where you will be.  This barely takes any effort on your part, and if something does go wrong or you are not back in the morning, somebody will know where to start if they have to look for you.
2. Keep Doors and Windows Locked – I am always amazed at people who leave all the entryways to their house wide open when they are home, let alone when they go to sleep at night.  Although it’s nice to believe that nobody would violate your space while you’re in it, there are, unfortunately, a lot of bad people in the world who would love to take advantage of your naive, overly trusting habits.  Why risk being robbed or attacked in your own home when all you have to do is adopt the habit of locking your door after you go through it?
3. Have An Exit Strategy – Do you know exactly what you would do if you woke up to a raging fire in your house?  What if there was a sudden earthquake?  What if you are driving on a dark country road and you realize someone suspicious is clearly following you?  By going over these scenarios in your head you can come up with plans and strategies to mitigate the inherent dangers.  The more you think and plan now, the less thinking and planning you’ll need to do in a moment’s notice.
4. Always Be Prepared For The Unexpected – Never, ever be so humble as to think that something cannot happen to you.  There are simple things you can do to prepare for unfortunate events.  For example:  Keep your cell-phone charged and always have some credits so that it is available for an emergency call when needed.  Keep some spare money in a hidden place (in your car?) in case you get robbed or lose your wallet.  Program emergency phone numbers into your phone because when you’re in shock or in a panic, you will not always be able to think straight.
5. Learn A Martial Art – Physical confrontation is always a last resort, but if push comes to shove, you better be able to defend yourself.  I suggest Muay Thai for guys and Aikido for girls.  Besides the fact that they are both good forms of self defense, they are also fun ways to exercise.  This (and this) is an awesome guide for simple and effective self defense.  You do not need to study martial arts for years to learn and apply some decent self defense moves.  More often than not, the assailant will be male.  Attack the weak spots on his body: The eyes, nose, throat, solar plexus, groin, knees, etc.  A well-aimed strike or blow to one of these areas could instantly neutralize the attacker.
6. Carry Pepper Spray – Pepper Spray (or Mace) is an awesome self-defense product.  It comes in a little pressurized spray can and one little spray of the substance in an attacker’s eyes will immobilize them for nearly 15 minutes.  It is legal in most countries, very cheap, and it can save your rear end in a hostile situation.
7. Buy a Small Keychain Weapon – Get a Stinger or a Kubaton.  These tiny weapons will easily fit onto your keychain, and if you ever need to defend yourself in a moment’s notice they will give you a significant advantage over just using your hands and fists.
8. Be Extra Cautious At Night – Do not stop at gas stations or quick marts late at night if anything looks suspicious or if the area is not well lit or supervised.  If you must stop, keep a safe distance from the car in front of you so you have plenty of room to drive away in an instant.  Do not walk along streets late at night by yourself or even with friends.  Darkness usually invites trouble.
9. Observe Emergency Exits – Just like always having an exit strategy, it is important to know where the emergency exits are when you are in a public location.  The more crowded the location, the more important it is that you know where they are.  An example of this was back in the early 2000’s with a New Years Eve party at a night club in a small Dutch town called Volendam.  The emergency exits were blocked off, the club was packed with partygoers and a fire broke out.  There was a panic and people could not get out easily, the result being that many people were seriously injured.
10. Never Trust Strangers – Never, ever trust strangers.  I know, it is sad but true.  You simply cannot trust someone you do not know.  I am rather trusting in nature, but I am very cautious when trusting somebody with any important aspect of my life who has not previously proven their trustworthiness to me.  This includes people who claim to be police, firemen or other officials.  Always ask them for identification or proof to support their position.
11. Trust Your Intuition – If an environment or situation feels wrong, listen to your intuition (or gut-feeling).  Our subconscious mind can often determine when something is not quite right way before we can consciously determine why we have that feeling.  It’s smarter to be cautious than careless.
12. Don’t Flaunt Your Wealth – If you are well-off and possess what others desire, do not be arrogant about it and flaunt it every chance you get.  This is just asking for trouble.  Of course you can and should enjoy the fruit of your hard-earned labor, but try to do it in a way attracts less attention and is respectful of others who are less fortunate.
13. Ask For Help When You Need It – Don’t be scared to ask or scream for help if you think you need it.  Wouldn’t you rather risk looking like an idiot than trying to be brave and ending up hurt or worse?
14. Don’t Get Intoxicated In Strange Places – Sometimes people like to get a little drunk, sometimes very drunk,  and this fine as long as you are in a safe place.  But do not get too drunk in unfamiliar places where it is not safe (where there are people you do not know like public locations, clubs and parties at other people’s houses).
15. Avoid Deserted Places – When you go out alone, try to avoid deserted places.  Sure, deserted places can seem calm and peaceful, but criminals and bad guys always look for easy targets, and someone who is alone in a place where there are no witnesses or people to help out is an easy target.  If you do go out alone, always let someone know where you will be and have some sort of weapon with you (pepper spray is a pretty good option).
16. Fight or Flight – It sounds pretty simple, because what other choices do you have, right?  Wrong!  Many people freeze up due to shock or adrenaline when they encounter a hostile situation.  And this is obviously the worst thing you can do.  Even black-belt martial artists who are really good in the dojo can become totally paralyzed when confronted with a real fight on the street.  You need to make the decision in your head and prepare yourself for intense hostile situations.  Either you run and get away (usually the best option), or if you have no other choice, you fight and you fight without hesitation and with everything that you’ve got.
17. Get a Dog – If you like animals and have the means to care for one, get yourself a dog.  It doesn’t have to be a big vicious dog either.  Most dogs, even small ones, will alert you when they hear unusual sounds around them.  Attackers are also far less likely to mess with you if you have a dog walking beside you.
18. Be Careful With Your Personal Details – Be careful to who you give your personal information to (name, number, address, work, credit card, etc).  This applies in real life and also on the internet.  Unfortunately, in today’s world there are lots of weirdos and criminals who try to lure people into giving them their personal details so they can steal their identity and take advantage of them in other ways.
19. Vary Your Routine – Try not to follow the same exact routine every single day.  If you leave and come home at exactly the same times or stop in the same spot or visit the same restaurant at certain times, criminals may pick up on this and target you as a potential victim.
20. Take Action When You Are Being Followed – If you think you are being followed, cross the road.  If you need to, do this a few times.  If this confirms your suspicion, go into the nearest public place and phone the police.  If you are in a car, first confirm your suspicion by turning into a few different roads.  If you know you are being followed, drive to the nearest police station.  If someone wants you to pull over on a dark or deserted road and he looks like some sort of official or police officer but is not in an official police car, rather be safe and drive to the nearest police station.

Do you have any additional personal safety tips?  I’d love to hear about them in the comments section below.

Diggy writes all about self improvement and personal growth on his blog, Upgrade Reality.  He wants to inspire and motivate as many people as possible to live their lives to the fullest and to be their best selves.  Spread the word or subscribe to his blog via RSS or Email (and get a free copy of his 58 page ebook).

Photo by: B. Rosen