Marc and Angel Hack Life

Tonight, over a couple of cocktails, one of my good friends spilled her guts to me about all of her failed attempts to find the perfect lover.  Although her story was about her unique personal experiences, I couldn’t help but feel like I had heard the same story told by others in completely different circumstances a hundred times before.

It’s a story about the endless quest for perfection.  And I think it carries a valuable life lesson, so I’d like to retell it to you in my own words.

The Perfect Woman

Once upon a time, an intelligent, attractive, self-sufficient woman in her late twenties decided that she wanted to settle down and find a husband.  So she journeyed out into the world to search for the perfect man.

She met him in New York City at a bar in fancy hotel lobby.  He was handsome and well spoken.  In fact, she had a hard time keeping her eyes off of him.  He intrigued her.  It was the curves of his cheek bones, the confidence in his voice, and the comfort of his warm, steady hands.  But after only a short time, she broke things off.  “We just didn’t share the same religious views,” she said.  So she continued on her journey.

She met him again in Austin a few months later.  This time, he was an entrepreneur who owned a small, successful record label that assisted local musicians with booking gigs and promoting their music.  And she learned, during an unforgettable night, that not only did they share the same religious views, he could also make her laugh for hours on end.  “But I just wasn’t emotionally attracted to him,” she said.  So she continued on her journey.

She met him again in Miami at a beachside café.  He was a sports medicine doctor for the Miami Dolphins, but he easily could have been an underwear model for Calvin Klein.  For a little while, she was certain that he was the one.  And all of her friends loved him.  “He’s the perfect catch,” they told her.  “But we didn’t hang in the same social circle, and his high profile job consumed too much of his time,” she said.  So she cut things off and continued on her journey.

Finally, at a corporate business conference in San Diego, she met the perfect man.  He possessed every quality she had been searching for.  Intelligent, handsome, spiritual, similar social circles, and a strong emotional connection – perfect.  She was ready to spend the rest of her life with him.  “But unfortunately, he was looking for the perfect woman,” she said.

The Story of Our Lives

As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection.  We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend, or lover.

The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state.  Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing.  What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow.

That perfect house, job, friend, or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection.  Thus, the closest we can get to perfection is the experience itself – the snapshot of a single moment held forever in our minds – never evolving, never growing.

So rather than chasing an imaginary perfection, let’s  start chasing life by flipping past the imperfections found on the cover of every entity we encounter and into the blank pages of possibility waiting beneath the cover that will eventually tell the story of our lives.

With a little patience and an open mind, over time, I bet that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home.  That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career.  That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on.  And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion.

Photo by: Farfie

What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.
- JW von Goethe

Yes, your goals are within reach.  In fact, achieving them is a simple process.  It just requires commitment and action on your behalf.

1. Set your sights on a clear goal – What is it specifically that you want to achieve?  Write it down if you have to.
2. Focus on one thing at a time and pick the next logical task – Ask yourself, “What can I do right now that will bring me one step closer to my desired goal?”
3. Educate yourself – What knowledge and skills are required to complete the task you chose in step #2?  Keep it simple.  Everything else can be learned along the way.
4. Start now – Why haven’t you started?  START!!!
5. Say “NO” to distractions – Is the phone ringing?  Door knocking?  Dog barking?  Unless the house is burning to the ground, IGNORE IT ALL!!!
6. Review and adjust – Are you making progress?  If yes, see the next step.  If not, why not?  Are there any small adjustments you need to make?
7. Press on until the task is complete – Revisit steps #5 and #6 as required.
8. Repeat – Once the task you chose in step #2 is complete, it’s time to repeat all the steps for the next logical task.  Revisit your goal in step #1 so it’s fresh in your mind, choose the next logical task, educate yourself as necessary, etc.

Note:  For complex, long-term goals, I tackle one simple task every day.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Photo by: Zach Ancell

Whether you’re planning a four hour road trip or catching a flight to the other side of the world, you have limited space in your suitcase.  So pack these practical, space-saving, multi-function items and you’ll always be prepared without the hassle of lugging around additional gear.

1.  Smart Phone with GPS – A smart phone is an information and communication portal that will likely save your rear end someday.  My smart phone has certainly saved mine a time or two.  Here are some of the basic functions of most modern smart phones:

• Phone
• Maps and GPS
• Internet access (Google, email, etc.)
• Camera
• Can be used in the dark as a flashlight
• Clock (with an alarm)
• Calculator
• Note taking (voice recorder)
• Music and movie player (for entertainment)

2.  Hand Sanitizing Wipes – In my mind, hand sanitizing wipes are essential tools that prevent me from infecting my body with germs on a daily basis.  They have several practical functions:

• Clean hands and other body parts
• Disinfect small cuts and scrapes
• Clean various surfaces (public toilet seats, gas pumps, windshield, etc.)
• Remove small stains from clothing, upholstered furniture, etc.
• Remove makeup

3.  Spare Wallet with Identification and Cash – Let’s recite the Boy Scout motto: “Always be prepared.”  If you lose your primary wallet when you’re hundreds of miles from home, it’s nice to have a back-up plan.  Find a safe, hidden place to stash your spare wallet when you arrive at your destination. While this isn’t a multi-function item in the traditional sense, it can save you so much grief when disaster strikes that it’ll seem like the most functional item in the world.  There are four things I keep in my spare wallet:

• $100 cash
• Spare photo identification
• $100 prepaid visa
• Emergency phone numbers (just in case I lose my phone too)

4.  Credit Card Size Survival Tool – It’s the size of a credit card, made of rugged stainless steel, and has several practical functions including:

• Knife edge
• Screwdriver
• Ruler
• Can opener
• 4 position wrench
• Butterfly screw wrench
• Saw blade

5.  Large Zip-Lock Bags – A large zip-lock bag has hundreds, if not thousands, of practical functions when you’re on the go:

• Keep leftovers fresh
• Keep dry things dry when you’re around water (wallet, electronics, etc)
• Separate dirty, smelly clothes from clean clothes in your suitcase
• Lunchbox
• Organize things like socks, toiletries, small electronics, etc.

6.  Rubber Bands – Rubber bands are simple, functional and versatile.  There is an endless list of practical uses for a rubber band including:

• A simple wallet replacement – Just wrap a rubber band around your cash and cards and stick them in your pocket.
• Keep any wires or small objects in your suitcase organized and untangled.
• A bookmark
• Use a rubber band to strap an injured finger to a firm stick or piece of cardboard until it can be properly casted.
• A safety strap for eye glasses

7.  A Bottle of Water – Water is essential to life, so it’s probably a good idea to keep some with you wherever you go.  And similar to an empty zip-lock bag, water has hundreds, if not thousands, of practical uses:

• Drink it when you’re thirsty
• Cleaning/rinsing agent (lots of possibilities here)
• Pour it into your rental car’s cooling system if it’s overheating.
• Put out a small fire (non grease or electrical).

8.  Leatherman – It’s the all-in-one multi-tool you should never leave home without.  These little tools can handle a plethora of different jobs.  When traveling, I try to keep my Credit Card Size Survival Tool on me at all times (except in airplanes) and my Leatherman secured in my suitcase just in case I need it.  I personally own the Leatherman 830039 (linked above) and I love it.  Here are a few of it’s functions:

• Screw driver
• Bit driver
• Pliers
• Wire cutters
• Knife
• Scissors
• Wood/metal file
• Ruler

9.  Multi-Use Car Charger – Because a cell phone with no battery juice is useless when your car breaks down on the side of the road during a long road trip.  My multi-use car charger (linked above) allows me to charge up to four devices at once.  This unit turns one auto cigarette lighter port into two, has two USB charging ports, and provides a heavy-duty 20 amp capacity.

• Charge your phone
• Charge your camera
• etc.

10.  A Lighter and a Candle – It’s always a good idea to have the capability to create fire just in case you need it.  This one is simple:

• Light
• Heat
• Cooking

11.  Large Ace Bandage – Lots of practical uses including:

• Compression on a injured limb
• Bandage for an open wound or burn
• Tie things together
•  Scarf
• Makeshift glove or grip

12.  Small Roll of Duct Tape – Duct tape solves everything.  ;-)  If you’ve tried using duct tape and you’re still having problems, you just haven’t used enough of it.  Duct tape may very well be the second greatest invention after the hammer.  I’m not even going to attempt to summarize the extensive list of practical applications for duct tape.

Do you think we left an essential item off of the list?  Let us know about it in the comments section below.

Photo by: Pragmagraphr

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind
of thinking we used when we created them.
- Albert Einstein

Never Forgive Him

She showed up at my front door before work at 7AM this morning with the most troubled, despondent expression on her face (which is not typical of her disposition).  “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she said.  “But I haven’t slept all night, and I really need to talk to someone.  I just need some advice.”

I invited her in and poured her a cup of coffee.  “So, what’s on your mind?” I asked.

“Last night, my husband told me something about his college years that he never told me before,” she said in a shaky voice.  “And I completely disagree with his actions.  It’s horrible, really… and I just can’t stop thinking about it!  I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive him.”

“Well, before you tell me anything else… Why do you think your husband confided in you?  I mean… Why do you think he told you?”

“I don’t know,” she replied.  “I guess he finally trusted me enough to tell me.”

“Did he commit a crime?”  I asked.

“No.”

“Was anyone physically hurt by his actions?”

“No, not really.”

“So, how do you feel about him right now?  Do you still love him?”

“Of course I do,” she replied.

“And whatever he did back in college, do you think he learned his lesson?  Or do you think he would do it again?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fairly certain he learned a big lesson,” she replied.

“Okay, so let me get this straight… Last night your husband finally felt that he trusted you enough to tell you about a dark secret from his college years.  And although somewhat unsettling, he didn’t hurt anyone, and you think he learned his lesson – which means he grew emotionally from the experience.  And to top it off, you’re still completely in love with him.  So what exactly can you never forgive him for?”

She sat in silence for a second, made a crooked half smile, and then shook her head.  I mimicked her facial expressions and shook my head back at her.

Then she started laughing.  And so did I.

More About Us, Less About Them

Sometimes the problems we have with others – our spouse, parents, siblings, etc. – don’t really have much to do with them at all, because these problems are actually about us.

And that’s okay.  It simply means these little predicaments will be easier to solve.   We are, after all, in charge of our own decisions.  We get to decide whether we want to keep our head cluttered with events from the past, or instead open our minds to the positive realities unfolding in front of us.

All we need is the willingness to look at things a little differently – letting go of ‘what was’ and ‘what should never have been,’ and instead focusing our energy on ‘what is’ and ‘what could be possible.’

Because, as my friend discovered this morning, sometimes the only problem standing in our way is the one we created in our head.

Photo by: Phil H.

You don’t always have to work hard to be productive.  Productivity can simply be the side effect of doing the right things.

So here’s a list of 29 semi-productive things I do online when my mind is set on avoiding ‘real work.’

1. Check delicious popular tags like ‘useful,’ ‘tutorials,’ ‘tips,’ ‘howto,’ ‘advice,’ ‘entrepreneurship,’ etc. for interesting, educational articles to read.
2. Watch one of the thousands of educational videos streaming at TED.com, Academic Earth and Teacher Tube.
3. Read an online book list and find a new book to grab next time I’m at the library.  Here’s another list.  And another.  And another.
4. Read a classic book online for free at Project Gutenberg, Planet eBook, or the E-books Directory.
5. Research a new Do It Yourself project at DIY Network, Instructables, eHow, or WikiHow.
6. Add to, delete from, or just generally sort my ongoing to-do list at Remember The Milk.
7. Create a cool graphical mind map of some of my recent ideas at bubbl.us.
8. Email a close friend or family member I haven’t spoken to in awhile.
9. Backup my recent photos, documents, and other important files online using Microsoft’s free 25 gig SkyDrive.
10. Use Wikipedia’s random article function to pick a random article to read.
11. Touch up on my math and science skills over a the Khan Academy, MIT OpenCourseWare, or LearningScience.org.
12. Send a paper greeting card directly to a friend or relative at enGreet.
13. Start learning a new language online for free at BBC Languages or Livemocha.
14. Watch one of the insightful 6 minute and 40 second presentations at Ignite Show.
15. Use Memorize Now to memorize a cool joke, or poem, or whatever.
16. Use Media Convert to convert video files I have on my computer into a format I can view on my iPhone or iPod later on.
17. Listen to an educational podcast over at Odeo or via iTunes on iTunes U.
18. Read one of the academic journals at the Directory of Open Access Journals.
19. Share my favorite mp3s, photos, videos, etc. with friends and family using drop.io.
20. Get a free college education online using this guide from Lifehacker (or read one of the other useful articles on Lifehacker).
21. Inspire and spark my creative mind by looking at a rolling slideshow of the highest rated photos on Flickr for the last 7 days.
22. Catch up on a short history lesson at HyperHistory or The Internet History Sourcebooks Project.  Or find out what happened today in history.
23. Take a fun, educational online quiz at Quizlet.
24. Play an educational online game at Lumosity, Sporcle, Games for the Brain, or Math Run.
25. Add a little gentle rain to my environment using RainyMood.com and then simply meditate and relax in my computer chair for 10 minutes.
26. Sell old stuff I no longer need on eBay and make a little extra cash.
27. Find a new musical artist to listen to based on music I like at Grooveshark, Pandora, last.fm, or Deezer.
28. Find out what’s happening in our world from quality international news sources like BBC News and Reuters.
29. Write a blog post like this one.

What kind of semi-productive things do you do online in your off-time?  Please share them with us in the comments section below.

Photo by: Colorblind Picaso

Her First Subscriber

“How did you do it?” she asked.  “In a sea of blogs that never make it, how did you start a personal blog that attracted the attention of 10,000 subscribers?”

I chuckled.  “You know, I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around that one myself.”

“Come on, Marc,” she insisted.  “I’m being serious here.  I’m getting ready to start my own blog and I’m nervous about failing.  I want to cross all my T’s and dot all my I’s – I don’t want to start it until I know how to do it right.”

I stared at her for a moment.  “Well, one Sunday evening a few years ago, I made a decision to write an article about something that inspired me, and then I published it on my blog.  And every Sunday evening since, I’ve made a similar decision.”

“That’s it?” she asked.  “No launch plan?  No design tweaks?  No marketing?”

“No, at least not initially,” I replied.  “I did a little tweaking later on down the road, but by then my blog already had a catalog of articles up online.  And most of the tweaks were based on reader feedback and analyzing visitor stats to see which articles were attracting the most attention.”

“So you think I simply need to start writing, right now… about the things that inspire me?”

“Yeah,” I replied.  “The only way you can fail is by not writing – by waiting around until you have the perfect plan before you start.  Because ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.  It isn’t human.  It isn’t you.

She smiled and said, “Thank you.”

Later that afternoon, she emailed me a link to her first published blog article.  And I became her first subscriber.

What’s the core purpose?

The hardest part, I have found, of creating something new – a website, a product, a technology – is simply the act of starting.  We let our creative minds get so caught up in planning and designing idealistic requirements and prerequisites for our new creation, that we drastically hinder the actual process of creating it.

What stops most people from starting with a less than perfect plan or product is the fear of failure.  There’s a common misconception that if you don’t get it done exactly right the first time, your creation will fail and all efforts will be lost.  That without this feature or that tweak, there’s no point at all.  Nonsense.

The truth is that every successful creation or innovation has a foundational core purpose – a tiny essence that justifies its existence.  Any tweak or feature above and beyond the scope of this core purpose is optional.  When my friend decided she wanted to start a blog, she spent all of her energy trying to map out the perfect plan and design, instead of simply writing her first few blog articles – which is the core purpose of a blog.

So the next time you decide to create something new, back yourself into a corner, cut out the fluff, and release your core creation into the wild ASAP for others to experience and tinker with.  Less than perfect is a perfect start.  The need for intelligent tweaks and adjustments will arise naturally as time rolls on.

Photo by: Vu Bui

This guest post was written by Betsy, co-author of Married With Luggage.

Imagine relocating across the country and waiting for the moving truck to arrive so you can unpack your life and get settled.  Only the truck never makes it to your destination because it caught fire in New Jersey.  Everything you own is now ash, and through the magic of the Internet you find out that someone actually video recorded the fiery truck on the highway and uploaded it to YouTube.

Burn, baby, burn.

This actually happened to a friend of mine.  And he said that after an initial 10-minute freak out session, he started embracing the idea of starting over with a more simple existence.  “Not a bad idea,” I thought.

The Cost of Ownership

No matter what you own, there is a maintenance cost.  We can speak in dollars - insurance, taxes, interest.  Or even in time - cleaning, updating, protecting.  But the hardest maintenance cost for most people is simply sentimental value.

We transfer our feelings and memories onto an object and decide we can’t let go because we’ll risk losing the feeling or memory.  Before long, we become surrounded by these visual reminders of our memories and no longer have room to make new ones.  It’s hard to move forward in your life when your past is crowding your present.

Creative Downsizing

The answer, of course, is to get rid of some of this stuff.  But that’s way easier said than done.  We often need to be compelled to do this with a move or a lifestyle change.  Imagine how much richer life would be if we moved the junk out and made room for new opportunities instead of grudgingly making room only when it was forced upon us.

My husband and I are currently simplifying our ‘physical’ lives down to a couple of boxes and two backpacks.  That’s a big change from our starting point in a packed 3500 square-foot house.

We’re leaving on October 1 for Ecuador and 3+ years of exploring the world.  We’ve been working for a while to get to this point, as you can imagine, and along the way we’ve found a few creative downsizing strategies to help you simplify a little (or a lot) of your life.

1. The Reverse Birthday Party

For my 39th birthday I picked 39 of my favorite things - things that were special but not quite special enough to make it into my one box.  There was the silk scarf from France, the leather purse I bought on my honeymoon, a cocktail ring with more bling than my lifestyle required, and several other little treasures.

I wrote out a tag for each item detailing its history and why it was special to me.  Then I put them all on a shelf in my living room and invited all my friends over for my birthday party.  The rules were simple:

• If you find something you like, write your name on the back of the tag.
• If you are the only one who wants that item, it is yours.
• If more than one person wants the item, a “face-off” would occur and a democratic vote would decide who won.
• In lieu of gifts to me, winners of the items could donate to our trip in an anonymous box on the bar.

This kind of party accomplishes a few things.  You get to share and make wonderful memories with your good friends and continue to see your favorite items used by your favorite people in the future - much better than an anonymous eBay sale.  And your friends help you get through the pain of giving up the more sentimental things.  Take a picture of you with your friend and the item and you’ll still feel like you own it in a way.

2. The Craigslist Store

I can’t say enough about the wonder that is Craigslist.  Just about anything can be sold or given away on this site.  We’ve sold everything from a $500 dresser to a $5 box of random cords, and we’ve rarely had an ad out more than a week without a bite.

The key to successful Craigslist selling is to set up your own store. Do you have several pieces of furniture to sell?  Put them all together in a staging area.  When your buyers come by, they get a chance to see your other items and you can wheel and deal to get rid of more things.  People love a deal, so throwing in a rug you don’t think will sell for much with a piece of furniture a buyer is waffling on may help make the sale.

Think of your downsizing project like your own little retail store and you’ll sell twice as much in half the time.

3. Put it in a Box with an Expiration Date

People tell me all the time they can’t get rid of things for all sorts of reasons.  But you know, reasons don’t really matter for this trick. It is all about “Out of sight, out of mind.”  Take a few things you don’t use, but think you can’t live without (even though you haven’t used them in 2 years), and put them in a box.  Label the box with the current date and the contents and a sell/donate date.  Set the sell/donate date 1 month out, 6 months out, or whatever.  I will be blown away if you end up going back for even 10% of these items before the sell/donate date.

4. Take a Photo and Clear Your Space

This is one of my favorite ideas, especially for old clothes.  Do you have a photo of yourself on the night when you looked really hot in that outfit (you know, on that unforgettable night out with your friends)?  Keep the photo and get rid of the actual outfit if you no longer wear it on a regular basis.  If an occasion arises someday that requires a similar fancy outfit, treat yourself to something new and stylish.  Sometimes a photo that acts as a visual reminder is all you need to re-experience the joy of an item, and having it out of your space lets you live in the present instead of being cluttered by items you no longer use.

5. The Rule of One Thing In, Two Things Out

This is the lazy man’s solution to downsizing, and it can be effective over the long-run.  You simply decide that for every new item you bring into your house or office, two items will go.  New socks?  Get rid of twice as many old socks.  Mom sends you new towels?  Get rid of twice as many of the old, raggedy ones.  See how this works?  It’s a smaller effort, but an everyday one.  Once you get to your perfect balance, you simply keep this up with one thing in, one thing out.

Final Thoughts on the Benefits of Downsizing

I like to say that downsizing will upsize your life.  I know it sounds catchy, but it’s true.  Since my husband and I started downsizing over 4 years ago we have more money, time, and opportunity than I could have ever imagined.  There is no way we’d be planning a trip around the world if we were still weighed down with all the miscellaneous stuff we had acquired over the years.

So start small, like we did, and slowly integrate the 5 methods above into your current (cluttered) lifestyle.  I promise, you’ll find yourself in a clutter-free state in no time.

Betsy Talbot is one half of the blogging team at Married with Luggage.  When she’s not writing, she’s paring down, saving up, and getting ready to travel the world with her husband Warren.  Betsy shares her secrets on saving money in the free ebook How We Saved Enough Money to Change Our Lives (and How You Can, Too!).

Photo by: Dustin Diaz

Inspired

Once upon a time, two thirteen-year-old boys were watching the track and field Summer Olympics events on television.  Neither of them had previously spent any time watching amateur athletes strive with their heart and soul to be their absolute best, so the boys were mesmerized by the passion, determination, and athletic grace displayed by the Olympic competitors.  In a moment of unadulterated inspiration, the two of them made a pact to become Olympic track and field competitors before their twenty-first birthdays.

That afternoon, over a glass of chocolate milk, they mapped out a rigorous training plan that involved frequent workouts both before and after school.  “If we stick to our training, we’ll be just as good the athletes on T.V.” one boy said to the other.  “I can’t wait to get started!” the other boy replied.

The next morning at 6AM the two boys woke-up, put their running shoes on, and met outside to begin their first official training session.  As they began running down the block, both of them had radiant smiles on their mugs.  “This is awesome!” one boy exclaimed as they trotted toward the sunrise.

Reality Raises One Question

About nine minutes later, a mile down the road, the harsh truth inevitably revealed itself.  Both of them were out of shape, slow, and completely out of breath.  They had no previous athletic training and no clue how difficult it would be.  All they could think about now were the aches, pains and exhaustion their bodies were experiencing.

Huffing and puffing, both boys stopped running and one fell to the ground on the side of the road.  “This is way harder than I thought,” the fallen boy said between breaths.

“Tell me about it,” the other boy agreed as he, too, fell to the ground gasping for air.  “Do you think it’s worth it?”

The other boy did not answer.  Instead, both of them rested on the cool morning grass in complete silence for several minutes, slowly regaining their breath, and thinking about the question.

Suddenly the first fallen boy forced himself to his feet.  “Yeah, I do think it’s worth it!  Do you?”

The other boy stood up slowly and nodded.  “Yeah, dude.  I think so too.”

And without further hesitation, both of them began running again.

The Journey

The following month, they joined their middle school track and field team.  With continued practice and guidance from their coach, both of them eventually placed in the top ten percentile for various middle school track competitions during their seventh and eighth grade school years.

In high school, they spent all four years on the track and field and cross country running teams.  Both of them consistently placed in the top five percentile for their grade and won various gold, silver, and bronze awards in the district competitions.  During their senior year, their track and field team made it to the state competition.  One boy walked away with a silver medal for the long jump and the other won a bronze medal for the 1500 meter run.

They both earned and accepted track and field scholarships to different state colleges.  Over the course of the next two years, even though they were apart, they trained passionately, competed head to head against one another on several occasions, and each won various collegiate events.  One time, they even placed first and second overall in the same exact event.

And although neither of them earned an Olympic medal, during their junior year of college, at the age of 20, they were reunited as teammates when they represented their country in the Summer Olympics.

Conclusion

When I was young, I was fortunate enough to have parents and mentors who taught me that the people who achieve their dreams and make the greatest impact in the world – whether athletically, musically, politically, technologically or otherwise – are rarely the most talented or gifted individuals.  They are instead the ones who work the hardest, and who are willing to overcome all obstacles to see their dreams through to fruition.

The moments when we feel uncertain about how to move forward, when we are inspired by our dreams but overwhelmed by the work required to achieve them, are the moments when we must ask ourselves one simple question:

Do you think it’s worth it?

Photo by: Millzero

This guest post was written by Alex, author of  Unleash Reality.

• Money
• Success
• Freedom
• Happiness
• Glory

Mmmm.  YUM.  Sounds good doesn’t it?

And yet very few people ever live to become the success story they dream about.

Why?

Because all successful people have one excruciatingly simple thing in common.

And it’s the only thing that’s stopping you from being insanely, abundantly, super successful.

Taking Action

Successful people take action.

That’s it.

“Take action?  Yeah, right!”  It sounds too simple, doesn’t it?

Yeah, it does.  But don’t be fooled.  It is that simple.  So before you stop reading this and go back to your blurry life of mediocrity, listen up.

Most people live in a complete daze.  Actually, they don’t LIVE.  They just ‘get by’ because they never take the necessary action to make things happen – to seek their dreams.  Does this sound like someone you know?

But successful people…

They’re ALIVE.  They make things happen because they take action.

They have that look in their eyes – undiluted determination and infinite appetite for possibility.

They live in constructive flow, always looking for a way – always taking the next logical step.

Productive Positivity

When you constructively move forward with a positive outlook on life, all of the self-induced barriers dissolve and you get out of your own way.  Nothing feels impossible and you see potential and possibility in everything because you’re not limiting your focus with destructive negativity.

Successful people constantly live in a state of productive positivity.  They don’t settle and they aren’t scared to fail.  They try, and fail, and try again until they succeed.  Because they know it’s possible, even if they haven’t yet figured out how.

Everything they do is soaked in a deep personal desire to move things forward.

They live for the feeling of accomplishment.  You know this feeling…

It’s the feeling of complete immersion in what you’re doing – when you tickle your own brilliance and the distinction between ‘you’ and the task at hand blurs until it’s complete.  It’s those moments when you’re taking action and constructively flowing with life instead of aimlessly stumbling through it.

I know you’ve felt it.  Maybe not often enough, but you have.

Ask Yourself

In every situation there is always a ‘most constructive’ path to choose.

Whether you’re running a business, having a conversation, walking down the street and see someone you’d like to meet, or even just entertaining yourself by browsing online – there’s always a constructive path.

Ask yourself, “What can I do right now that will make me more successful in my own eyes?”

The interesting thing is that as you ask yourself this question, little electrochemical fireworks explode in your mind and illuminate your entire being with the feeling of what success will be like.  Your mind automatically cycles through all the possible situations that will result from the different choices for an action that you take.

So ask yourself the question and think about what will help you move forward with your goals.  Immerse yourself in thought.  What is it that you really want?  And what choice can you make right now that will help you get one step closer?

Momentum Builds

After awhile your mind will become trained to subconsciously think about success, so when you have a little time and are deciding what to do, that image of success that came up will poke its head into your plans and make you think twice about zoning out in front of the T.V.

Sure, sometimes it’ll be a small action like reading a book, but momentum builds and as you begin to feel the possibilities for success, you’ll stop limiting what you deem ‘possible’ and you start taking on bigger projects and more promising endeavors.

And as you do it more and more, it becomes less of a question and more of an overall state of being where all you will want to do is move forward towards success.  And it feels really good.  It brings purpose into your life.

And it doesn’t have to be just material success – deciding to read for pleasure, meditate, exercise, or spend time with a loved one are all valid decisions toward success.  The definition of success, after all, is up to you.

But more than anything, success hinges on the simple act of making a decision to live – to absorb yourself in the process of going after your goals.

So make that decision…

And take action.

Alex writes about personal development and how to dive into reality on his site Unleash Reality. You should check it out right now. And subscribe too.

Photo by: Thomas Hawk

If the question makes you think, it’s worth asking.

1. What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you aren’t dying?
2. Do you believe in the death penalty?  What if someone murdered your mother in cold blood?  What if someone murdered a stranger’s mother, but saved your life the month before?
3. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
4. Would you rather be rich and paralyzed from the waist down or poor and able bodied?
5. What’s the most expensive gift you have ever received?  Is it the best gift you have ever received?
6. When was the last time you lied?  Is it possible to lie without saying anything at all?
7. Stealing is immoral, right?  But what if stealing was the only way to feed a starving child?
8. If I gave you $20, what percentage would you – really – save?  If I gave you $200,000, what percentage would you save?  Should there be a difference?
9. If someone could tell you the exact day and time that you are going to die, would you want them to tell you?
10. If you found out you were going to die today, would you have any regrets?  Would you be happy with the way you spent the last 24 hours of your life?
11. What’s your single greatest moment of personal failure?  Looking back on it now, did it make you weaker or stronger?  What did you learn?
12. Do the words ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ mean not being persecuted or discriminated against, or do they mean doing whatever you please?
13. Have you ever discriminated against someone?  Imagine that a street gang notorious for wearing purple shirts has robbed and murdered several hundred people in your town.  If a man wearing a purple shirt just rang your doorbell, would you answer it?
14. Is it crazier to choose to be poor or to spend 40 years of your life hating 40 hours a week?
15. Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time?  How many hours a week do you spend watching TV, or playing video games, or…?
16. Do you ever celebrate the green lights?
17. If you could be given another talent or ability, what would you want it to be?  Have you ever – really – tried to perfect this ability in yourself?
18. No matter how bad things get, are you aware that someone always has it worse than you do?
19. When you help someone, do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?”
20. Joy is found with simple awareness.  What does your joy look like today?
21. What’s the difference between ‘living’ and ‘existing?’
22. Are you willing to sacrifice the life of your child or lover to support a war?
23. Do you ask enough questions, or do you settle for what you know?
24. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
25. If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end?

Please share your thoughts, and additional thought-provoking questions, in the comments section below.

And check out these books for more thought-provoking questions:

• The Book of Questions
• If… (Questions For The Game of Life)
• The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion

Photo by: Rogilde