Aspirations

An Open Letter to Those Who Have Lied to Impress Others

01.14.2020 by Marc Chernoff // 38 Comments

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”
—Thomas Jefferson

This article was inspired by a short email we received recently from a new course student:

Dear Marc and Angel,

In one of your recent emails you asked your students to think about a weakness they’d like to change. Mine is telling lies. Although they’re usually just little lies, I’ve gotten carried away. I lie about things all the darn time mostly to just make myself appear better than I am… because I want to impress people. But it’s getting harder! I feel like every little lie leads to another one, and it’s wearing on me. I’m sick of my own dishonesty! Please help me break this habit. I need some motivation to make a change once and for all. Your wisdom on this topic would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
A Dishonest Student

Our reply (an open reply to all who have lied to impress people):

Dear Dishonest Student,

It’s time for a quick story about life…

Once upon a time, an aging king knew the end of his life was nearing, and he decided it was time to designate a successor. Since he had sadly lost his wife and children in a terrible accident, he chose to pass the throne on to [Read more…]

5 Year-End Notes to Self that Will Move Your Life Forward in 2020

12.23.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 30 Comments

You are not your bad days. You are not your mistakes. You are not your scars. You are not your past. Be here now, and breathe.

Tragedy strikes a woman who isn’t yet old. A minivan traveling toward her on a dark mountain highway hits her car nearly head-on just after sunset. She grips her steering wheel as hard as she can and veers into the rocky mountainside until her car screeches to a halt. The minivan flips onto its side and skids in the other direction off a cliff, plummeting nearly 500 feet to the ground below. Inside, a young family of five on their way to grandma’s house for Christmas Eve dinner.

The woman doesn’t recall the events that followed during the next several days. She doesn’t recall the three eye witnesses who comforted her and assured her that it wasn’t her fault—that the other driver had swerved into her lane. She doesn’t recall how she got to the emergency room or the fact that [Read more…]

5 Ideas You Must Leave Behind to Get Ahead in Life

12.10.2019 by Angel Chernoff // 28 Comments

If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your present and future through that same dirty lens.

You can never change things by holding on to the existing reality. To get ahead in life, you have to leave some things behind and build a new model for living that makes the existing model obsolete.

You must make a firm decision that you’re going to make a change too. It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will have to rise up against the wind and say, “I don’t care how hard this is! I don’t care how disappointed I am! I’m not going to let this get the best of me! I’m leaving this behind and moving forward with my life!”

Ready?

Starting today, it’s time to leave behind… [Read more…]

The Life-Changing Magic of Doing One Thing at a Time

11.19.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 24 Comments

Be the type of person whose values, priorities, and actions always agree with one another.

Why is it that over 50% of our new course students tell us they feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted in their personal and professional lives?

The answer may surprise you: It’s not the number of minutes they spend awake and working hard each day that’s the issue—it’s that they often spend 99% of those minutes juggling too many things at once.

Be honest…

Do you check social media apps on your phone when you’re sitting in meetings, or when you’re spending time with family and friends?
Do you eat lunch at your desk, or while you’re on the run?
Is the TV often on in your home, even when you’re busy doing other things?
Do you send the occasional text message while driving?

The biggest cost of doing multiple things at once like this (assuming you don’t crash from the texting and driving) is [Read more…]

5 Hard Questions that Can Save a Life (and Spare Some Pain)

10.14.2019 by Angel Chernoff // 21 Comments

We waste our lives waiting for ideal paths to appear in front of us. But they never do. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.

There’s nothing more disheartening than a perfectly healthy, reasonably affluent human being with the whole world in her hands who’s chronically unhappy and unproductive. There’s really no excuse for it either, yet Marc and I see this phenomenon unfolding every single day—people who choose to be stuck in misery and refuse to admit it. This mindset often results from an extremely unbalanced life—one with too much expectation and not enough discipline and appreciation.

The bottom line is that when you have very little discipline for accomplishing new things, and very little gratitude for what you already have, you’ll never know the true joy of making progress in life, because nothing will ever change, and even when it does, it will never be good enough in your mind.

So, how do you cultivate balance in life when everything is already so far out of whack?

For a decade now, Marc and I have [Read more…]