by Emma, creator of Simple Slow & Lovely

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling

Dreams and a vision for our future are wonderful things to have. They can inspire us, keep us motivated and help us to do scary things. But what happens when we don’t achieve our dreams? What happens when you wake up in the middle of your life and realize you haven’t done the things you thought or hoped you would?

If you had shown me a picture, 15 years ago, of what my life would look like today, you would have had to scrape me off the floor. There would have been disbelief and a whole lot of ugly crying. So I’m glad I didn’t get that memo. But I’m surprisingly okay with the picture of my life today. Actually, I’m not just okay, I’m happy.

Dreams vs. Real Life

Back in my twenties, in the thick of postgraduate studies in Psychology, my dream was [Read more…]

Trust that today’s challenges will be responsible for your future growth.

Every day Marc and I work with course students who say all the right things and then do the exact opposite.  They hope to experience growth, but they resist change.  They want less stress, yet they indulge in drama.  They long for better relationships, and then they refuse to trust anyone.

In other words, what they say they want, and what they actually do with their time, are hopelessly disconnected.  And the two will likely never meet without intervention.

It’s important to note, though, that I get it.  I understand where they’re coming from.  I used to make the same mistakes.  Change is hard to deal with.  Needless drama can be addictive.  Relationships take a lot of work.  Life is [Read more…]

(This is an excerpt from the new edition of 1,000 Little Things.)

She rarely makes eye contact. Instead, she looks down at the ground. Because the ground is safer. Because unlike people, it expects nothing in return. The ground just accepts her for who she is.

As she sits at the bar next to me, she stares down at her vodka tonic, and then the ground, and then her vodka tonic. “Most people don’t get me,” she says. “They ask me questions like, ‘What’s your problem?’ or ‘Were you mistreated as a child?’ But I never respond. Because I don’t feel like explaining myself. And I don’t think they really care anyway.”

The music is getting loud and I can see that she needs to talk. I ask, “Want to get some fresh air?”

In the chilly night air, she tells me her story. [Read more…]

To a great extent, we make our own life stories by our thoughts.

Starting right now, you can decide how you spend your time, whom you socialize with, whom you share your life, money and energy with.  You can pick your words and the tone of voice in which you speak to others.  You can select what you will eat, read and study.  You can choose how you’re going to respond to unfortunate situations when they arise, and whether you will see them as curses or opportunities for growth…

And most importantly, you can choose your thoughts, which dictate pretty much everything else.

In other words, you are what you think.  You can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking.

Here are twenty thoughts it’s time to change: [Read more…]