Life

5 Lessons I Learned from Overcoming the Hardest Days of My Life

04.24.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 18 Comments

7 Lessons I Learned from Overcoming the Hardest Days of My Life

The hardest days make us who we are.

Full disclosure: I set myself a challenge recently, and I’ve been failing at it.

To help motivate a group of course students Angel and I have been working with, I set a goal to exercise for one hour every day for 90 days straight. I chose this lofty goal because several of these students openly admitted that they struggle with getting to the gym. And they were inspired by my willingness to stretch my limits.

But I’ve struggled far more than I had anticipated. With a business to run, students to serve, a young child in the house, family occasions, and travel, I’ve missed three days in the first month.

It’s such a minor setback, but it’s made me feel a little depressed at times.

Now, as you may know from previous posts, Angel and I have coped with much bigger setbacks in the past: losing siblings and best friends to illness and suicide, breadwinning employment layoffs, failed business ventures, financial turmoil, having our possessions wiped out by a hurricane, health issues, and [Read more…]

How to Change the Way You Feel (Without Changing Anything Else)

04.17.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 28 Comments

How to Change the Way You Feel (Without Changing Anything Else)

Happiness does not start with a relationship, a degree, a job, or money. It starts with your thinking and what you tell yourself today.

“I had a date scheduled for last night with this guy I started talking to on a dating app. I waited outside the diner where we agreed to meet for 30 minutes past the time we were supposed to meet. He never showed up. All sorts of negative thoughts were running through my head. I thought maybe he saw me from a distance, didn’t like what he saw, and then bailed.

Just as I was about to leave, one of my old college friends, Jared, who I haven’t seen in nearly a decade, walked up to me with a huge smile on his face and said, ‘Carly! It’s great to see you! You look fantastic!’ I almost blew him off because of how I felt inside at the moment. But luckily I pulled myself together to engage in a conversation.

After we talked in that same spot for awhile, he said, ‘What are you doing for dinner?’ We ended up going into the diner I was supposed to eat at with the no-show date and having an amazing conversation filled with laughter. After dinner he walked me to my car, we exchanged numbers, and he [Read more…]

The Art of Letting Go (to Heal a Broken Heart)

04.11.2019 by Angel Chernoff // 56 Comments

The Art of Letting Go (to Heal a Broken Heart)
by Humble the Poet, author of Unlearn

“Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”
― Dorothy Allison

I loved him like a brother, and he treated me as such. He told me I was a genius and that the world needed to hear my music. He was a ball of passion, and when he spoke it always felt like a battle cry to fight for a better life. I was working as a teacher, spending my summers with struggling artists who gave me that energy and community I craved. When I met him in Toronto, I felt like I found new family in my own hometown.

His family wasn’t so abundant—his parents struggled with addiction and were trying to take the earnings he made producing music. It was killing his spirit, and I could sense it. So without consulting my parents, I invited him to live with me. He was the brother I never had.

We got matching tattoos and promised each other that there would always be two of everything. We [Read more…]

Choose Yourself Today: 7 Hard Choices that Will Make You Happier

04.07.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 39 Comments

Choose Yourself Today: 7 Hard Choices that Will Make You Happier

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
― Maya Angelou

It is what it is. Accept it, learn from it, and grow from it. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done; what truly matters is what you do from here.

And what you need to remember right now is that you can’t heal yourself in the same exact environment where you got sick. You need to surround yourself with situations and people that push you to heal and grow. Less drama, less mess.

Because the truth is, you won’t always be a priority to others—or to the world’s agenda at large—and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system. Your needs matter. Start meeting them.

Don’t wait on others to choose you.

Choose yourself, today!

Choose to live your life today not as a bystander—not as a prisoner to the old environments and beliefs that sometimes keep you stuck. But to instead live as an active participant, engaged in the new possibilities in front of you.

That’s your choice! YOUR choice!

You are choosing right now… [Read more…]

Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You: 7 Tips for Feeling Better

03.31.2019 by Marc Chernoff // 20 Comments

Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You

When you’re feeling insecure, you typically don’t notice the hundreds of people around you who accept you just the way you are. All you notice are the few who don’t.

In what way is the fear of rejection holding you back? How would your life be different if you didn’t (subconsciously) care what everyone thought about you?

To answer these questions, we must understand that the vast majority of our fears and anxieties amount to one thing: Loss.

We fear:

Losing our youth.
Losing our social status.
Losing our money.
Losing control.
Losing our comfort.
Losing our life.

We also fear, perhaps more than anything else, being rejected by others. This kind of fear is widespread and debilitating if [Read more…]