There is no exercise better for the heart and soul than reaching out and lifting others up.

When life is pressing on you and stressing you out, pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you are not at the center of the universe.

When you’re overwhelmed by life’s daily struggles, it’s so easy to feel like you’re at the center. But you aren’t. None of us are.

Truth be told, we all have the occasional tendency to put ourselves at the center, and see everything in life from the viewpoint of how it affects us. This can have all kinds of unfavorable effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we fail to be perfect.

Let me give you a recent example from my life…

This morning I was faced with a painful rejection – an opportunity I applied for was not decided in my favor. At first I felt awful – I felt a familiar feeling of inadequacy. But I caught myself and quickly shifted my focus.

Instead of ruminating over my disappointment, I thought about other people I might help – I thought about writing a new article on marcandangel.com. Finding little ways to help others snaps me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need. I’m not second-guessing myself, because the question of whether I’m inadequate or not is no longer the central question. The central question now is about how I can give back. And writing on marcandangel.com is my go-to way of giving back.

The bottom line is that finding a way to give back – to practice a little kindness and generosity – made a big difference in my life this morning. And it can make a big difference in your life too.

Stories to Shift Your Focus, and Inspire Kindness & Generosity

Over the past decade [Read more…]

This morning I didn’t feel like doing anything. It’s a combination of exhaustion from a few days of hard work and preparation for a group coaching event we’re hosting for our Getting Back to Happy Course students, and a lack of sleep with a sick 7-year-old in the house.

I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything important, which is a rare occurrence for me. I just felt completely drained. I started overthinking things and doubting myself, and wondering whether anything I do is worthwhile.

I sat there in this funk for nearly an hour and wondered how to snap out of it. Should I just forget about today? Should I just give up on this project in front of me, because I’m not as good at it as I thought I was?

That’s what I was considering, at least for a fleeting moment. But the better part of me knew this mild state of depression would soon pass. And just as I started to feel better, a neat bit of synchronicity arrived in my email inbox from Gina, a new course student Marc and I have been coaching over the past few days. The opening lines of her email read:

“I feel so drained, so uninspired. I’m stuck again! My mind is spinning with worry and overwhelm and just a general lack of enthusiasm. Anything you could share? What’s something small I could reflect on and try to remember when I’ve lost my motivation?”

With our student’s permission, I’m answering her inquiry publicly because I know we all need a good reminder in this area sometimes—heaven knows I needed one this morning, too.

While there are many approaches to momentary self-motivation, reflecting on and learning from other people’s stories is paramount. The right story at the right time can move us at our core. Fortunately, the nature of the work Marc and I do as personal development coaches and authors allows us to hear these kinds of stories from clients, students and readers on a daily basis. So, this morning, that’s exactly what I was reflecting on when Gina emailed me. And right now, with full permission from the original sources, I want to share powerful snippets from some of these stories with you. [Read more…]

We all struggle.  We all suffer on the inside.  Every day…

We worry.
We procrastinate.
We feel overwhelmed.
We feel angry.
We feel lonely.
We don’t feel good enough.
We wish we were more fit.
We wish we had more money.
We wish our jobs were different.
We wish our relationships were different.
We think post-COVID life should be ‘back to normal’ again.

And yet, every one of these struggles is self-created.  They are real, but they are only real because we have created them in our minds.  We have attached ourselves to certain ideals and fantasies about how life has to be right now in order to be good enough for us.

We worry because things might not turn out how we expect.  We procrastinate because we fear discomfort and failure.  We feel overwhelmed because we think we should be further along than we are.  We feel angry because life should not be this way.  And so it goes.

But again, it’s in our heads.

And it doesn’t have to be this way.  At least not for YOU.

You can [Read more…]

Where you ultimately end up this year is dependent on your daily attitude and response.

This morning one of our coaching clients, Monica—a recovering victim of a fairly recent and debilitating car accident—was smiling from ear to ear the minute our FaceTime coaching session began.  “What has you in such good spirits today?” I asked her.  “I’m thinking differently about things…about how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied.  “I thought the injuries I sustained in that accident last year signified the end of life as I know it, but now I realize they signify the beginning.”

All details aside, Monica decided to begin again, in her mind first and then in her life.  It’s taken her several months of healing and practice, but she has consciously let go of the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” attachments in her head about her circumstances, and she has stepped forward with grace and determination.  Her new beginning has nothing to do with the recent New Year, and everything to do with a new way of thinking.

Truth be told, today is really the beginning, for all of us.  And we can prevent the wrong thoughts and beliefs from getting the best of us as we move forward with our lives in 2021.  We can train our minds to make the very best of the present moment, even when our circumstances are far less than ideal.  All it takes is practice.

The mind is like a muscle, and just like every muscle in the human body, it needs to be exercised to gain strength.  It needs to be trained daily to grow and develop gradually over time.  If you haven’t pushed your mind in a dozen little, positive ways over the course of time, of course it’ll crumble on the inevitable days that get overwhelmingly stressful.

The easiest way to begin strengthening the mind? [Read more…]