When we are judging everyone and everything, we are learning nothing.
One of the most incredible changes I’ve made in my life, which has undoubtedly made me a happier person and a better friend, is learning to let go of judging people.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I don’t ever judge others – we all have a tendency to do so by default… it’s a human instinct, and I’m not the exception. But I have learned to catch myself, and to recognize how judging is harmful.
Notice I say “harmful” instead of “bad,” because instead of judging myself, I’d rather observe that the act of judging causes harm.
What underlying harmful conditions are indicated by my tendency to judge people? It varies, but in many cases these points apply…
- I don’t know everyone’s full story and I’m therefore ignorant of what most people are going through.
- I have unrealistic and unjustified expectations of people.
- I subconsciously believe that I’m somehow better than the people I’m judging.
- I’m being a bit self-absorbed and egotistical.
- I’ve lost sight of being grateful for my own blessings and compassionate to those who aren’t as fortunate.
- I’m not being curious or willing to learn, but instead I’m judging and rejecting people who are different than me.
- I can’t possibly help the present situation from a place of judgment.
How Judging Someone Transpires
Let me give you a personal example of how judging someone plays out so we can see how the harmful conditions above transpire:
I visit an old friend who [Read more…]