This morning, over coffee, one of my good friends spilled her guts to me about all of her failed attempts to find the perfect man.  Although her story is about her unique personal experiences, I couldn’t help but feel like I had heard the same story told by others in completely different circumstances a hundred times before.

It’s a heartbreaking tale about the endless quest for perfection that so many of us are on…

The Perfect Woman

Once upon a time, an intelligent, attractive, self-sufficient woman in her mid-thirties decided she wanted to settle down and find a husband.  So she journeyed out into the world to search for the perfect man.

She met him in New York City at a bar in a fancy hotel lobby.  He was handsome and well-spoken.  In fact, she had a hard time keeping her eyes off of him.  He [Read more…]

by Christina Rasmussen, author of Where Did You Go?

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
—Tuesdays with Morrie

In the days, weeks and months that followed my 35-year-old husband’s death, I swung between mind-numbing grief and an insatiable search for him, for his essence.  One moment I was painfully sad, the next moment I was hunting for his ghost, spirit body, soul—anything that was him.

Even though I’d been brought up Greek Orthodox, my religious background didn’t help me.  In fact, immediately trying to apply my faith to my dire circumstances actually deepened my doubts about what faith really meant to me, my two young daughters, and life in general, that someone we loved dearly was now in a place called heaven, or the afterlife.

The journey that started the day my husband died has been the most important journey of my life.  I spent those first few years after his passing barely surviving.  Living day in and day out inside a [Read more…]

It’s that time of the year again.  ‘Tis the season of family vacations, holiday parties, and awkward celebratory work functions.  And whenever large groups of us are forced to share the same space for too long, especially after hours when alcohol and exhaustion are factored in, there’s a fairly high potential for unnecessary drama.

I was reminded of this today when a new course student emailed me saying:

“I have difficult people in my family and social circles that I have to deal with at various holiday-related gatherings over the next several weeks, and just thinking about it drives me crazy.  What can I do when these difficult people start getting on my nerves—which is inevitable?  How do I shield myself from their negative behavior so I can keep my cool?  And what if I can’t completely get away from them?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.”

Truly, it’s a [Read more…]

On a chilly evening 18 years ago, after spending nearly every waking minute with Angel for eight straight days, I knew I had to tell her just one thing.  So late at night, just before she fell asleep, I whispered it in her ear.  She smiled … the kind of smile that makes me smile back.  And she said, “When I’m 75, and I think about my life and what it was like to be young, I hope I can remember this very moment.”

A few seconds later she closed her eyes and fell asleep.  The room was peaceful … almost silent.  All I could hear was the soft purr of her breathing.  I stayed awake thinking about the time we’d spent together and all the choices in our lives that made this moment possible.  And at some point, I realized it didn’t matter what we’d done or where we’d gone.  Nor did the future hold any significance.

All that mattered was [Read more…]