Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will give you awful advice. It’s not because they have evil intentions. It’s because they don’t understand the big picture – what your dreams, passions, and life goals mean to you. They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.
So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.
As our friend Steve Jobs says:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Here are 10 ill-advised tips (lies) people will likely tell you when you decide to pursue your dreams, and why they are dreadfully mistaken.
- You can follow your dreams someday, but right now you need to buckle down and be responsible. – Someday? When is ‘someday?’ Someday is not a day at all. It’s a foggy generalization of a time that will likely never come. Today is the only day guaranteed to you. Today is the only day you can begin to make a difference in your life. And pursuing your dreams is what life is all about. So don’t be irresponsible. Don’t wait until ‘someday.’ Make today the first day of the rest of your new life.
- You’re totally screwed if it doesn’t work out. – Wrong! This is a giant, lame load of BS. You’re not even close to being screwed. In fact, the worst case scenario is that things don’t work out and you have to go back to doing exactly what you are doing right now.
- It’s safer to stay at your day job. – Sure, I suppose. But you know what’s even safer than that? Going home, locking yourself in your bedroom, and never, ever coming out. And just like that you will have flushed your entire life and your dreams down the toilet. Remember, safer doesn’t always mean better.
- That’s impossible! – It’s only impossible if you never do anything about it. The reason certain things seem impossible is simply because nobody has achieved them yet. But this doesn’t mean that with your help these things won’t become possible in the future. If you truly dedicate yourself to an end result, almost anything is possible. You just have to want it bad enough.
- Only a lucky few “make it.” – That’s because those lucky few got off their rear ends and did something about it! They had the drive, determination, and willpower that you have right now. You can be one of them. It’s up to you, and only you.
- You might fail. And failing is bad. – Failures are simply stepping stones to success. No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win. The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake. If you can’t handle failure, then you can’t handle success either.
- You don’t have access to the right resources. – It’s not about having the right resources; it’s about exploiting the resources you do have access to. Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it. Get it?
- You need more money saved before you can take the first step. – You don’t need more money. You need a plan. You need a budget. Eliminate ALL the nonessential costs in your life. If pursuing your dream requires you to leave your day job, figure out the absolute minimum amount of income that you require to realistically live. Studying those who have succeeded with similar ventures also helps. But above all, take baby steps. Don’t be foolish and assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now, or that you must quit your day job today in order to pursue your dreams. Instead, ask yourself, “What actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”
- You don’t need any help. It’s smarter to go after it alone. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you hang with the wrong people, they will negatively affect you. But if you hang with the right people, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone. Find your tribe and work together to make a difference in all of your lives.
- That sounds like a lot of hard work. – You’re darn right it does! But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. I think success in life hinges on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. As long as you remain true to yourself and follow your own interests, values and dreams, you can find success through passion. Perhaps most importantly, you won’t wake up a few years from now working in a career field you despise, wondering “How the heck am I going to do this for the next 30 years?” So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions and dreams.
Disregard these misguided bits of nonsense and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling your dreams.
Now get out there and make a splash!
Photo by: Gigi 62
Lucky Charm says
Thank you for such a wonderful post! Some lies I once believed stole nearly 10 years of my life until I could just take it no more and became a total mental wreck, trapped in an office job i hate and conflicting, killing thoughts. Thanks for reminding me that my dreams are still within reach.
Lisa says
Thanks for this post. It came at a right time for me. Been having problems thinking whether I should pursue certain goals, and today someone discouraged me about it. I know I want to give them a try and I think those people who are always telling such things just don’t know anything about me, to what extent I would go to to achieve my dreams. Thank you again 🙂
Efi says
OMG, just thank you for this article!
Abdul Rauf says
All the points here are real and worth sharing. They’re especially great for comprehending the noted kind of circumstances when you approach them. MarcAndAngel.com is the best blog I have ever come across. Thanks so much for writing this masterpiece. I will re-plan my big plans now (after reading your this post).
Goldy says
Thank you! This is just what I needed to hear. So many people don’t even realize they are telling you lies; they think they are helping by ‘shielding you from failure’. It is good to identify so you can tune them out. The worst piece of ‘advice’ I ever received is – ‘be realistic’ – just two words that can damage a spirit like a deflated balloon.
A Singaporean says
Thank you for such an amazing article! You’ve really inspired me to re-look at my own identity and the convictions I have embedded in my soul.
In my society, I had really wished for people to know about your post because we have a variety of social pressures hindering ourselves from reaching our potential!!
In a nutshell, we are overly fascinated by the notion of “security” be it in terms of being able to sustain a family, having a job/ career that others deem socially acceptable, etc. much due to our ever prevalent Asian culture. (Although it should be noted that such a behaviour may not be totally detrimental to oneself and to society as a whole with the correct approach and methods in advocating it.)
However, with the points raised from this article in mind, perhaps we should all reflect on ourselves and ask…really…Why should our dreams be affected, twisted and tainted by the perceptions of society and perceptions created by ourselves? That’s why I found this article particularly inspiring. It was the spade to uncover the hidden tomb encasing our pure, “ever-beating” heart.
FlamesMer says
As an aspiring artist/illustrator, your article stopped my heart for a moment, because those are the exact words that my mother and father pressed down upon me. Now, with a scholarship to the art college of my choice, and having sold some paintings, I actually believe I can become who I want to be…Thank you. You have no idea how much this article helped me out in my time of need. I will never give up my dreams. YOLO
Gloetry says
I was raised the same way also. After a while I realized that caring about what people think will only cease any forward movement. The9to5artist.com
Farhan says
what a wonderful article. It has really inspired me to take on my dreams. I always dreamed of becoming a great soccer player but people says I m too old for it. ( I am 20 years old ). will definitely go after it with a bang! Cheers!
Mitchell says
Wow this summed up every fear I have in pursuing what I love, which is art, music, film, learning a new language and travel. I feel encouragement at last that hard work and love for what you do does pay off. Thank you, I want to continue to improve my world.
Arek says
Thank You very much. You may not know it, but YOU are saving lives here. You saved mine. And I’m grateful.
nikki says
Thank you! I shall read this like 10 times a day until I will finally realize that being 28 years old is not too late to be a musician!
Daniel says
I had the idea of creating my own career that corresponds with the military. I want to create new military robotic machines of defense. What’s sad is even some of my teachers told me that it’s impossible and it would never work. But my thoughts about that is, BS I will create robots that can and will go to war in place of man. For a life is not replaceable, but a machine can always be rebuilt.
Popi. M says
Wow this is inspiring, I’m differently going to pursue my love for music than to be a darn judge. Thanks again for this article. Wish everyone thought this way about their lives n stop making excuses or listening to people who don’t share the same vision as they do. People are not living in your head, so they will never understand how you see your dreams.
Martin Dingle says
Truly inspiring! I am amazed… powerful, thought provoking, I have been off from work for four months with depression nothing doctors said or proscribed ever came close to the light that just came on.
No more excuses all i need to do now is remember what my dreams are.
Justin says
I did calculation today at work. I counted the number of hours left before I quit my job to turn my side business into my full on vocation. 1032. As of now, 1024. I am lying in bed next to my gorgeous, brilliant wife and it’s 10:30pm and I am vibrating with happiness. Taking hold of my family’s fate. I’d rather have that fate in my hands than in the hands if some indifferent company that doesn’t give a shit whether my family prospers or perishes. It’s the dawning of a new age: the age of the entrepreneur. Damn these heartless corporations. Stop being a slave to their agenda. Stand up, fight and take your life back.
Harsh says
this post is a charm !
Jess says
Excellent advice and just what I needed to hear. Also as someone struggling on the path I know all these things but sometimes it helps to have someone remind you. Thanks!
Kirk Mayers says
This quiets some of the fear I had on my chest this morning. Yesterday, I committed to doing something that’s been a dream since I was a very young. It seems as if the universe has conspired to put me at this spot, at this very moment. However, this morning, my mind raced with all the reasons why I should back out of this committment. Point #2 is especially poignant but all the other points are valid. I will try to fight my fear!