post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Rules for Turning Endings into New Beginnings


9 Rules for Turning Endings into New Beginnings

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.  There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction.  And there are three little words that can release you from your past regrets and guide you forward to a positive new beginning.  These words are: “From now on…”

So, from now on…

  1. Let the things you can’t control, GO. – Most things are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them.  Positive things happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things.  So stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right.  Do not let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.  Read The Success Principles.
  2. Accept and embrace reality. – Life is simple.  Everything happens for you, not to you.  Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late.  For everything you lose, you gain something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else.  You don’t have to like it, but it’s just easier if you do.  So pay attention to your outlook on life.  You can either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice.
  3. Change your mind. – Change is like breath – it isn’t part of the process, it is the process.  In reality the only thing we can count on is change.  And the first step toward positive change is to change your outlook.  Prepare for the positive.  Prepare for the new.  Allow the unknown to take you to fresh and unforeseen areas in yourself.  Growth is impossible without change.  If you cannot change your mind, you cannot change anything in your life.  Sometimes all you need to do is look at things from a different perspective.
  4. Hold tight to the good things. – When life’s struggles knock you into a pit so deep you can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste valuable energy trying to dig your way out.  Because if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper.  Instead, use what energy you have to reach out and pull something good in with you.  For goodness is bright; its radiance will show you which way is up, and illuminate the correct path that will take you there.  Read Learned Optimism.
  5. Rest and regroup. – Strength isn’t about bearing a cross of grief or shame.  Strength is about choosing your path, living with the consequences, and learning from them.  Sometimes you do your best and end up with a mess.  When this happens, don’t be discouraged.  You tried.  That’s really all you can ever do.  You have not failed; you just learned what not to do.  So rest, regroup, and begin again with what you now know.
  6. Take chances. – Making a big life change or trying something new can be scary.  But do you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.  So realize that most of your fears are much bigger in your mind than they are in reality; you’ll see this for yourself as soon as you face them.  Don’t let them stop you.  Live your life so that you never have to regret the chances you never took, the love you never let in, and the gifts you never gave out.  Read The Magic of Thinking Big.
  7. Keep climbing. – Every person who is at the top of the mountain did not fall there from the sky.  Good things come to those who work for them.  You gain confidence and grow stronger by every experience in which you truly push yourself to do something you didn’t think you could do.  If you are standing in that place of in-between, unable or unwilling to go backwards, but too afraid to move forward, remember that you can’t enjoy the view without being willing to climb.
  8. Appreciate what you have learned. – Nothing is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears.  Don’t regret your time, even the moments that were filled with hurt.  Smile because you learned from it and gained the strength to rise above it.  In the end, it’s not what you have been through that defines who you are; it’s how you got through it that has made you the person you are today, and the person you are capable of being tomorrow.
  9. Realize every step is necessary. – Nothing is ever wrong.  We learn from every step we take.  Whatever you did today was a necessary step to get to tomorrow.  So be proud of yourself.  Maybe you are not as good as you want to be, or as great as you one day will be; but thanks to all the lessons you’ve learned along the way, you are so much better than you used to be.

Photo by: Marciana Vequist

Download the ebook If you enjoyed this article, check out our new best-selling book.
Marc and Angel Subscription via Email And get inspiring life tips and quotes in your inbox (it's free)...

Enter your email address to get new articles delivered for free:



45 Comments

  • I recently came across your site, and you guys are just awesome! So much wisdom in every single post. Happy to find you. :)

    In this post, #1 and #6 were my favorites. Thank you.

  • I totally and completely agree with the message in this post.

    Life is too short; choose to be happy and know that there is a lesson in everything that happens in your life, whether it seems good or bad. And then take these lessons and use them to decide whether it’s time to continue on the same course or make a change.

  • You guys always make me smile. Your positivity helps me so much. Thank you for being a rare positive force in this world… its so needed.

  • Every morning I check your blog! I totally love it! It helps me go trough my days with a smile on my face even on rainy days! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! :)

  • I am soo happy that I found your site. You guys are amazing, you gave me a more positive outlook in life. I was so down and out since last week, but what you posted just now is one of the best…. Keep up the good work guys…

  • Truely Fab Article !!
    Really hard to put appreciation in words..
    Nice complied thoughts is all i can say :)

  • Keep up the good work !!!!
    Awesome article :)

  • I like how 9 closes the circle back to acceptance.
    Accept the mistakes so you can accept life and live. “If it doesn’t hurt sometimes then you’re not really alive.” -M Perkins.

    I feel the same way, Dessie.

  • Simply perfect for the start of a new day! You knew exactly what I needed to bust open a new beginning. Thank you so much.

  • Thank you so much… I can’t find words to explain how this post speaks to me.

  • Good list!

    “Let the things you can’t control, GO” reminds me of the serenity prayer. I do my best to accept the things I can chance and let go of the things I can’t. I always pray for the wisdom to know the difference.

  • Every moment is a new beginning if you want it to be. Thanks for reminding me.

  • This article is truly one of the best! I really like #8. Thanks for putting a smile on my face today.

  • I discovered your blog awhile back and it’s truly amazing. It is filled with positive inspirations. I am always a little happier after reading your articles - it gives me strength to believe and stand tall. Moving on and forward is a lot easier.
    Thank you so much.

  • Somehow this post showed up when I most needed it. Amazing when that happens, that all lessons fit the circumstances and things are exactly as they’re supposed to be. Thank you.

  • Love reading your blog so inspirational and uplifting.
    It makes it easier to want to change to become a better person with dreams and goals. Keep up the good work. Thank you so much. Have re-read your blog over and over again.

  • I am always looking forward to your articles. It always brings me strength and comfort. Thank you so much!!!

  • My gratitude to you for these 9 rules of TRUTHS! When I read, “everything happens for you not to you” the lightbulb went on! Coincidence does not exist, in my opinion; this came to me at the perfect time. Thank you so much!

  • I’m with you… from now on… ;-)

  • Perfect timing! Thank you :)

  • Great post! But remember that we’re just human… Sometimes, the pains can truly exceed our spirit, and *that’s* where most people got so weary and tired of this *Limited* real-world/life/reality… The key is to remember that reality is not always as perfect as what’s inside a human’s vivid world of imaginations, but it can still be great.

  • Marc & Angel, your posts this week were so prophetic for what I was experiencing this week, it falls under the category of Divine Intervention. Even today, when many years are ending, your post is timely and the message is timeless. I ask permission to point to it from my blog (linked above), 2012 - Now is the Time to Change. Because you have ‘change’ down to a science! God Bless.

  • This post is very interesting, Marc.. (Just like your many of your other posts to be honest)..

    “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late”..

    Totally love this quote. Thank you, and keep sharing…

  • That’s a powerful thought: to not regret the chances we never took. Good reminder for me.

  • “So realize that most of your fears are much bigger in your mind than they are in reality”

    this is sooooo trueeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
    It has happened with me, and I think it sums up everything about taking chances, facing your fears and yeh dreaming big. Thank you soo much for this blog and post.
    just love it! always makes my day!!!

  • I’m so grateful for your words of wisdom. The world needs more people like you. I think right now that the world is paralyzed by unreasonable fears. Would you be able to do a post on this? Like Winston Churchill said: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Thanks again.

  • Just read all of your comments. ;-)

    Thanks, as always, for making my day.

  • Beautiful encouragement! Lots of wisdom! Thanks for your insights.

  • Letting go of control has always been really, really hard for me.

    I’m far from an expert, but IMHO, being able to let go makes life a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable.

    Thanks for this - just found the blog :)

  • ramona silvestri
    October 1st, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    Positive affirmations!! Thee only way to live positively!!! Even Joyfully….Thank You!!

  • Thank you for this beautiful article.

    While I’ve been following your blog for a while now, this one has come at such a appropriate time for me.

    I’ve just found out that my main website has been completely hammered by Google and all the search engines meaning that my main source of income has been completely obliterated. All those years of hard work building up the site, the content, the links, gone in an instant. I was completely numb and shocked by it all and contemplating what to do now.

    Your article has allowed me to reflect on what has happened and that it all may just be a huge positive for me in the long run. I’m still only 25, got a great family and great friends and am healthy. Your article has helped me see my current situation in a more positive light.

    Thank you!

  • Thank you!

  • I would also like to thank you for having the courtesy and care to help so many people with the only true cure for many of life’s most difficult issues, and that’s w/ wisdom.

    I am currently going throug one of my most difficult and darkest stages of my life. Just hit my early 30s and the woman I have dated after graduated college for 7 years decided to leave me, my career I have worked for for so long has lost its passion and desire. So at a time when I thought I had everything set and planned out, everything changed and cane crashing down in literally an instant.

    The girl I wanted to marry has left, and my goal career wise has no more meaning to me. I am completely lost right now and have a hard time finding direction, everything I worked for, and the person I wanted to share it with, gone in a flash. Your blogs and posts have helped create perspective and has rekindled hope. Though it’s still so very fresh, and very difficult, the advice gives me that ounce of positivity I need to make it through the day, more importantly, to the next.

  • The things you write, they’re really starting to help me through a difficult time right now. I accidentally found all of this stuff, and Im trying to take every bit of advice to heart. Because it all applies to everyone. Thank you so much for saying what I needed to read. Life is gorgeous, even when its hard.

  • I just wanted to say thank you for creating this website. I’m currently going through a very hard point in my life, struggling to understand why things happen and how I can start to feel happy again with my life. Your posts are like a breath of fresh air… and have pulled me back up to realize that I will be OK. :)

  • Thank you :) Amazing, loved it.

  • This is absolutely amazing… I like your blog and will keep on reading thanks a lot for the inspiration this morning. I needed it.

  • Thank you for posting these guidelines. I am going through a very difficult time with the ending of a long-term relationship and dealing with economic difficulty. I realize that I am losing something in order to gain something even better than what I had before. Thanks for the words of wisdom!

  • Dear Marc and Angel,

    Thank you for sending us all these positive energy. Your articles are always a ray of hope both during happy and sad times. Please keep posting these articles. You simply touch our lives… I am grateful.

  • I really appreciate you sharing all 9 of these principles that are worth applying in our life.

    Though each and every point mentioned is equally important to create a cheerful tomorrow, a few of them deserve special attention, like :

    1) There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction.

    2) Most things are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them.

    3) if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper.

    4) Whatever you did today was a necessary step to get to tomorrow. So be proud of yourself.

    All these are really important to work on..

    Thanks again for such a nice post.

    Thanks,

    Amit (Digital Creative Network)

  • Thank you for writing with such a fresh perspective. Like many of us, life has been a struggle beyond what we have overcome in the past, many of us are at our breaking point.

    The typical advice and positive outlook quotes seem so empty and trite in comparison to your articles, which are never condescending or over-simplified.

    I share many posts on Facebook and have given your link to so many people, as it is so extremely helpful. Please continue the great writing for all of us trying to regain our footing here on planet Earth :)

  • I came across your writings a week ago, and they have really helped me with my journey.

    My husband left me and his three kids, a month after I gave birth to our third, because I wasn’t enough for him - I’m not his soul mate. He fell in love with a married woman with 2 younger kids.

    I am in a much better place now than I was three months ago, but I still have a lot of anger and hurt that comes to the surface regularly. Reading your articles has really helped me process these feelings better, and confirm the choices I can make in my responses to this. I know I will be a better and stronger person for these challenges, and your writings give me valuable steps that I can take, and reminders of what I need to keep doing.

    I cannot thank you enough.

  • I really like your point #5 and #8. I was looking for some advice on your site because I got a mark that was not quite to my expectation and I regret that I didn’t work harder when I could have. It was getting the best of me for a little while.

    Thanks for the positive motivation. :)

  • This is awesome, I can’t describe how amazing my life has practicaly changed with your words. You guys are great, love you.

  • Found you through FB - so glad! Just what I needed today :)

Leave a Reply