post written by: Marc Chernoff

10 Forgotten Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times

10 Truths to Help You Get Through Hard Times

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
–Friedrich Nietzsche

The wisest, most loving, and well rounded people you have ever met are likely those who have known misery, known defeat, known the heartbreak of losing something or someone they loved, and have found their way out of the depths of their own despair.  These people have experienced many ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, understanding and a deep loving wisdom.  People like this aren’t born; they develop slowly over the course of time.

Angel and I have worked with thousands of these incredible people over the past decade, both online and offline, through various forms of coaching.  In many cases they came to us feeling stuck and lost, unaware of their own brilliance, blind to the fact that their struggles have strengthened them and given them an upper hand in this crazy world.

Truth be told, when hard times hit, and the challenges you face are great, you can either let your situation define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.  The choice is yours to make.

In today’s article I want to remind you of a few powerful, yet easily forgotten truths that will help you choose wisely and grow stronger even through the hardest times…

1.  Pain is part of life and love, and it helps you grow.

So many of us are afraid of ourselves, of our own truth, and our feelings most of all.  We talk about how great the concepts of life and love are, but then we hide from both every day.  We hide from our truest feelings.  Because the truth is life and love hurt sometimes, and the feelings this brings disturbs us.

We are taught at an early age that all pain is evil and harmful.  Yet, how can we ever deal with real life and true love if we’re afraid to feel what we really feel?  We need to feel pain, just as we need to feel alive and loved.  Pain is meant to wake us up.  Yet we try to hide our pain.  Realize this.  Pain is something to carry willingly, just like good sense.  Because you can only learn how strong you are when being strong is the only choice you have.

It’s all in how you carry the things that don’t go your way.  That’s what matters in the end.  Pain is a feeling.  Your feelings are a part of you – your own reality.  If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting the lies of insecurity destroy your reality.  You should stand up for your right to feel pain – to endure it – to own your scars – to deal with the realities of life and love, as you grow into the strongest, wisest, truest version of yourself.

2.  Mindset is half the battle.

It’s okay to have down days and tough times.  Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only rise up and never come crashing down.  However, when you recognize that the rising and crashing waves are part of the exact same ocean, you are able to let go and be at peace with the reality of these ups and downs.  It becomes clear that life’s ups require life’s downs.

In other words, life isn’t perfect, but it sure is good.  Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect life, but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement.  To get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted.  Everything is extraordinary.  Every day is a gift.  Never treat life casually.  To be spiritual in any way is to be amazed in every way.

Do not let the pain of a situation make you hopeless.  Do not let negativity wear off on you.  Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.  Even though others may disagree with you, take pride in the fact that you still know the world to be a beautiful place.  Change your thoughts and you change your reality.

And mindset is especially powerful when it comes to accepting that…

3.  Your biggest fears don’t really exist.

When times are hard it can be difficult to follow your heart and take another step, but it’s a tragedy to let the lies of fear stop you.  Although fear can feel overwhelming, and defeats more people than any other force in the world, it’s not as powerful as it seems.  Fear is only as deep as your mind allows.  You are still in control.  So take control!

The key is to acknowledge your fear and directly address it.  Fight hard to shine the light of your words upon it.  Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless, obscure darkness that you avoid, and perhaps even manage to briefly forget, you open yourself to future attacks from fear when you least expect it.  Because you never truly faced the opponent who defeated you.

You CAN beat fear if you face it.  Be courageous!  And remember that courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear stop you from moving forward with your life.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

4.  You are growing through experience.

Over time you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that the easy and the hard aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting.  With a positive attitude you will always be pleasantly surprised.

When you stop expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are.  Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts are rarely wrapped the way you expected.

Experience is what you get when your plans don’t go as planned, and experience is the most valuable commodity you own – it builds your strength.

You have the power to turn your wounds and worries into wisdom; you just have to do something about them.  You have to accept what has happened and use what you’ve learned to step forward.  Everything you’ve experienced has given you the upper hand for dealing with everything you have yet to experience.  Realize this and set yourself free.

5.  You can’t change situations you don’t take responsibility for.

Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”  Don’t let this be you.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you surrender power over that part of your life.

Make no mistake, in the end, the price of happiness IS responsibility.  As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.

Ultimately, your happiness depends on your self-reliance – your unshakable willingness to take responsibility for your life from this moment forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is now.  It’s about taking control of your present circumstances, thinking for yourself, and making a firm choice to choose differently.  It’s about being the hero of your life, not the victim.

6.  The present is all you really have to deal with.

Life is not lived in some distant, imagined land of someday where everything is perfect.  It is lived here and now, with the reality of the way things are.  Yes, by all means you can work toward an idealized tomorrow.  Yet to do so, you must successfully deal with the world as it is today.

Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be.  But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.  So appreciate where you are.

Your friends and family are too beautiful to ignore.  Take a moment to remember how fortunate you are to be breathing.  Take a look around, with your eyes earnestly open to the possibilities before you.  Much of what you fear does not exist.  Much of what you love is closer than you realize.  You are just one brief thought away from understanding the blessing that is your life.

Happiness is a mindset that can only be designed into the present.  It’s not a point in the future or a moment from the past; yet sadly, this misconception hurts the masses.  So many young people seem to think all their happiness awaits them in the years ahead, while so many older people believe their best moments are behind them.  Don’t be either of them.  Don’t let the past and the future steal your present.  (Read The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.)

7.  There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

Life is better when you’re smiling.  Being positive in a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of leadership and strength.  You’re doing it right when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.

What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?

Think of all the beauty that remains around you, see it and smile.  Be thankful for all the small things in your life, because when you put them all together you will see just how significant they are.  At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy.

8.  Great things take time.

Instant results are rarely the best results.  With patience, you can greatly expand your potential.  If your desires were always fulfilled immediately, you would have nothing to look forward to.  You would miss out on the joys of anticipation and progress.

Remember, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.  It’s the willingness to stay focused, confidently staking one small step at a time, knowing that the way you move a mountain is by moving one stone at a time.  Every stone you move, no matter how small, is progress.

Bottom line:  You deserve more than mere instant gratification.  Value that arrives in an instant is often gone in an instant.  Value that takes time and commitment to create often outlives its creator – YOU.

9.  Other people cannot validate you.

When we’re struggling to achieve something important, sometimes we look to others to validate our progress.  But the truth is, they can’t…

You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours.  Pave your own unique path.  What success means to each of us is totally different.  Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.

You don’t have to be flashy to be impressive.  You don’t have to be famous to be significant.  You don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful.  You don’t need to be validated by anyone else.  You are already valuable.  You just need to believe in yourself and what you wish to achieve.

You can be quietly humble and still be amazingly effective.  Just because people don’t fall at your feet and worship you, doesn’t mean you are a failure.  Quiet success is just as sweet as loud, flamboyant success, and usually far more real.  Success is how you define it, not what everyone else says it must be for you.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

10.  You are not alone.

In the midst of hard times, it’s easy to look around and see a bunch of people who seem to be doing just fine.  But they’re not.  We’re all struggling in our own way.  And if we could just be brave enough to open up about it, and talk to each other, we’d realize that we are not alone in feeling lost and alone.

So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you.  We are all in this together.  So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there experiencing the same emotions.  When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie.  There’s always someone who can relate to you.  Perhaps you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are out there.

If you’re feeling desperate right now, hear me:  I often feel and think and struggle much like you do.  I care about many of the things you care about, just in my own way.  And although some people do not understand us, we understand each other.  YOU are not alone!


One of life’s greatest gifts is the fact that life is difficult.  Because in dealing with life’s difficulties, we build invaluable strength.  This strength enables us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most meaningful purposes.  It is precisely because life is difficult that we are able to make it great.  It is because life is difficult that we are able to rise above the difficulties.  We are able to make a difference and we are able to truly matter.

So remember this…

When times are tough, you must be tougher.  Don’t pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a tough one that leads to greatness.

Your turn…

What have you learned that has helped you get through hard times?  What truths do you keep in mind to motivate yourself?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Photo by: Rita M.

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  • As difficult as it is, number 7 is seeing me through each and every day now.

    Cancer hit hard and fast last year and I lost my husband of twenty years. Waking up and facing the world is brutal some days but if I can just find and focus on the tiny little gratitudes I still have.

    I am still alive.
    I still have my amazing son who fills in the silence.
    I still have my husband’s wonderful family and friends.
    I still have now.

    I still have hope it will get a little easier.

  • Even when times are hard, or when I’m struggling to achieve something substantial to me, I try not to worry too much. I just do the best I can, one small step at a time. This is probably the most important tip I picked up from your book (although there were many) – a tip I use almost every single day of my life.

    In fact, I try to keep this quote from your book in mind: “Worry will not drain tomorrow of its troubles, it will drain you of your strength today.”

    And I also love this one from the Dalai Lama: “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

  • I have learned that although we may not be able to change our destination in a day, we can change our direction in an instant - like right now.

    If things aren’t working out, it’s never the wrong time to change direction either. It’s never too late to set a new course.

    That doesn’t mean stop everything you’re doing and hop on the next bandwagon. It simply means making a choice then taking the actions, one by one, that will eventually lead to a whole new destination.

    A wide bend along your path is a bend all the same.

  • #1 is what I’m currently going through. I’ve had a lot of failed relationships that’s somehow making me feel down in my relationship now. I’m feeling like I’m alone and I’m the only one giving my all. I want to believe that this is a goodman. But I’m trying to see if it’s just me making problems up just to feel as I’m being the victim. I just want communication and to be showed the appreciation.

  • The first line of Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled is “Life is difficult “. He goes on to say that once one accepts that life is difficult , life no longer becomes difficult. This thought has carried me through many challenges and I am grateful for these words.

  • Marc and angel, you guys are so amazing. You have played a big role in my life. Keep the spirit alive always.

  • Hang in there Marsha. The pain is a testament to the depth of your relationship. More bitter than sweet now, but I hope a great source if gratitude for you as the raw pain of loss subsides and your cherished memories remind you of a life lived, not lost. I wish you all the best as you move forward and find new happiness.

  • Amazing post
    All the points are great but #9 about self validation really resonated with me. It about authentic self expression and not needing approval.

  • Life is difficult and can hit us at anytime. The more I had difficulties in my life was when I became more stronger as each one came across my path.

    Today, I don’t give it a second thought. I will usually take whatever comes my way, deal with it and put it right.

    Something I will always remember my Dad saying. “Everything we deal with in life, it will come to pass.”

  • Redemption through suffering is reality. I hadn’t realized that until I spent 34 days in jail how good I had it on the outside. I read somewhere that I could look at my existence as a rider on a chariot driven by horses. The horses are my emotions, the chariot is my body, the the rider me, represents my willpower, my mind. I can’t just let the horses go anywhere they want I won’t get what I want to go…I have to take care of the chariot or its going to break down…my willpower, my mind, is what needs to be in control to tell the horses where to go… in other words, keep my emotions in check and also help me take care of my body, in order to get to where I want to go.

  • All these ways of dealing with bad situations or tragedies are helpful, but still very hard to fully comprehend when you lose your child.

  • ” You should stand up for your right to feel pain – to endure it – to own your scars – to deal with the realities of life and love, as you grow into the strongest, wisest, truest version of yourself.”


    This post is realistic, practical, and incredible – all at once.

    Thank you for all the wonderful work you do!

  • Excellent post. A few more thoughts:

    1. Very few things are permanent. Sometimes you control the change, sometimes it controls you. But it will, most likely, change again.

    2. Focus on what you can control or influence. I cannot control being bi-polar, but I can influence it by knowing where I am in a cycle and using my choices to influence it.

    3. Recognize you own self-destructive behaviors. This is the hardest things for us to identify, admit, accept and make alternate choices about. Check out books on habit, change and forgiveness. Become a student of yourself. If you own your diagnosis, you change your prognosis.

  • Today this post really helped me, came into my inbox at my lowest point. My boyfriend broke up with me a few of days ago (total shock) as I was very happy with him and thought everything was going well. I was starting to feel terrible, no sleep, no food. He doesn’t own my self esteem - I do. I think that’s the big lesson I’m learning at the moment. Onwards and upwards!

  • A second mother to me, Dorothy Baldwin Satten, an internationally known trainer in psychodrama, a life changing action method for personal and professional growth, was very fond of posters. In her home was one I also admired - the moonlight is making the dew drops on a beautiful tree in the dark woods sparkle. The caption reads, “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.” Like her, I believe that “invincible summer” endures within us all.

    One of the many invisible things I discovered about life is that this “invincible summer” exists in the time zone of the present moment. It is comprised of present moment emotions, like love. Love is one of our strongest positive motivators of action, including sacrifice, that we have. Love is an emotion of the present moment. It cannot be experienced in the time zone of past (where resentment, shame, regret, remorse, sadness, unworthiness, reside . . . for things done and left undone live). It cannot be experienced in the time zone of the future (where anxiety, doubt, fear, worry, insecurity, frustration, reside . . . for things to be done or not done live. Love is an emotion we experience as energy in motion in the present moment, the present time zone only. Like joy – a delight in life that runs deeper than pain or pleasure. Or peace – an inter- / intra- continuity of life, spiritual and physical. Or inspiration, freedom, awe, gratitude, appreciation, wholeness, forgiveness, reverence . . . or other elements of spiritual abundance in our midst (in our very presence) and from present moment to present moment, like the wonder of life we take with each breath. We find these present moment emotions in no other place in time or space than the present; they live / exist in the present moment only. And more interestingly, we find the Spirit of the Universe in no other place either - the Spirit exists only in the Present Moment.

    Learning to stay in the Present Moment is part of the first rule of the 5-Rules of Life:

    1. Show Up. Show up for yourself; be physically, mentally and emotionally present. Don’t expect anyone else to do this for you. In showing up, stay in the time zone of the present moment. If you allowing yourself to be in two time zones at the same time, e.g., the present and the past, it will cause you to feel overwhelmed.
    2. Pay Attention. When you are in the present, pay attention to what is happening around you. Be alert, but not hyper vigilant. Stay grounded in the present moment and become attuned to your feelings and surroundings.
    3. Tell the Truth. The person most deserving of the truth is yourself. To your own self be true, as the saying goes. Self deception can have an expensive emotional price tag.
    4. Ask for What You Need or Want and Let Go of the Outcome. Make clear, direct requests for what you need and want, and what you would like someone else to do to help you satisfy your request. Make your request, then remove yourself from any emotional investment in the other person’s response. Attachment to the outcome will cause you to invest in manipulating and controlling behaviors.
    5. Celebrate the No’s. There are times in our lives when the answer to our requests (or prayers) will be “no.” While such responses may not seem especially helpful to us at the time, in hind sight, they often are a blessing. When we have done everything we can do and things are still not working, then the “answer” we may be receiving is “no.”

  • I have lost a mother, a sister, a brother and 5 best friends . One was murdered by her own son! Then we lost our home and income . This was the most challenging time of all. The fear of not knowing where your next paycheck will come from and not being able to keep your kids in school or provide food for your family is terrible. We survived this awful storm and as the sun started to shine again, I lost my husband suddenly. I refuse to be pessimistic. I have children who are well and who are all employed. I have an amazing network of friends and family. I have my health and more importantly I am still standing! I have set goals for myself and wont allow the darkness to creep into my soul.

    Thank you Angel and Marc for your daily inspirations . To everyone out there … You shall overcome.

  • Love, love, love this post! Reminds me of buddism, life is about suffering. It’s ok to have pain because it helps one grow! Thank you.

  • I needed to read this post today. Thank you, Marc.

  • Love this post!

    The main thing to keep in mind is that in suffering will come most of our biggest lessons in life.

    Thanks for all you share here.

  • I’ve been through a lot in my 60 years on Earth, and I can honestly say that much of this advice in on point. Really, it comes down to acceptance of what is, while working on something worthwhile to you. That will get you through anything, one way or the other.

  • I feel very fortunate to be able to read your articles - especially this one. Before I found your site, I was feeling very alone.

  • Rae, I admire you for your strength! I pray that God will continue to give you the strength and encouragement that you need to be able to provide for yourself and your family. Reading your post made me realize how blessed I am and how much I need to be appreciative of what I have. Stay strong and may the light of God always shine upon you!

  • I have been reading the posts for some time & this one is just too wonderful not to comment on. Beautifully written!!

    I am 52 yrs old with a long history of illness. I left an abusive husband with my 25 yr old daughter & 17 yr old son 1 yr ago. We live on her paycheck which is barely enough to get by but with the help of my mother on a fixed income we still have our apt. I have grave pain every day & I can’t get disability. So I pray each day I will feel well enough to find work. Thus far, this isn’t my reality. But my son is a thriving football player and show choir member at his high school. He gives me not a day of trouble & much joy. My daughter works hard & is sacrificing her own life to support me & her brother. Wow!!! To think I am SO blessed but focusing on the negatives is a huge wake up call. God Bless your writings. You give me courage & much wonderful food for thought. I shall not give up. I’m growing wiser & stronger & this too shall pass!! I’m realizing although I’m not in control of my circumstances, I am in control of how I wish to frame them. My kids are watching me & I have a duty to them & self to live my best life even though to others we probably look poor & pathetic. We have each other & lots of love & respect. I will be ok.

  • I am still here.
    A childhood in and out of custody battles. A drunkard for a father. A drunkard for a mother. Failed 1st marriage. Second marriage was to a verbal abusive drunk. Third marriage was golden. Lost him after 8 years to a careless mistake of a SUV driver who collided with his Harley. I have contemplated suicide, planned it all out. Got help. But, I am still here. I am resilient. and stubborn. I will not quit. I am still here.

  • Thank you, Marc. Thank you, Angel. Your wisdom helped me to get my thoughts together. Thank you so much!

  • Hi Marc and Angel,
    I want to thank you for this, because this is a great amount of inspiration for me and I’m so happy to know that there are people out there like you writing to help other people like me and all the other folks who left comments above mine.
    I particularly like this one. It all speaks to me in a very meaningful way. I recently left a job I disliked and in which I was not valued and appreciated for who I was. I decided it was time to take the road less travelled at the age of 28. It’s lonely, that’s for sure. But it feels so much better. I can relate to many things in this post:
    -Growing through experience- You’re not going to grow by staying stuck in a comfortable job everybody does. You need a challenge. Challenges make us feel alive and awake :)
    - It’s about being the hero of your life, not the victim. I love this quote. Seriously :)
    - Don’t let the past and the future steal your present and greatness takes time. So, live with patience in the present.
    -You don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful. This is so true but most people believe this inaccurate belief because of the media that swamps our brains with it. I wrote recently about it. True success is a mindset of never surrendering in the face of adversity to reach your objective and dream. It’s sometimes a lonely path.
    Thanks a lot! I love reading you. You make my life better :)

  • Guys you are just amazing people.

  • Thankful for your posts!! You guys help sooo many people get through life’s struggles. You are truly amazing! :)

  • June V Rowbottom
    June 3rd, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    I love and admire your work but what would you do? I have a younger brother who has always been very close to my mother who sadly died 2 months ago. My father was attacked then died years ago. My brother had everything - love, money and i just forged ahead and made a successful life for myself. He would not allow me to see my parents before they died I didn’t even know where my mother lived. I paid for the funeral which he now criticizes. I was advised to break loose from all my family in 1987. I couldn’t. Now he won’t let me have anything belonging to my mother. Help!!!

  • I was physically, emotionally, intellectually abused as a kid. I survived damaged but that started my lifelong journey of spirit. One thing I began to see as I started working on my self is that sometimes tools for life are gathered long before I needed them. During the abuse, I learned to be invisible - not be in the same room as abuser, not to make noise while abuser was in the same room, to get out of the house as soon as I could after school and on weekends, and much more. In a peak experience one day, I realized that, during the abusive time, I was developing my critical thinking skills and creativity and exploring skills - all skills that I use everyday. The silver lining from the gray cloud. Love your site!

  • I love this…and I wish more people would believe these things…I have had my share of ups and downs in my life, some HUGE, but I smile everyday and generally feel happy and grateful inside…and I am in the midst of a big down right now, but I am pulling myself through, and in fact “reinventing” myself (career) at the ripe old age of 50…so much of what you say strikes me, but especially #2, mindset…people beat themselves up with their own thoughts!!?!…I try not to, as I know life is full of hardships alongside happiness, and all in all, remember it is worth it to be alive! : )….#5, responsibility, is the biggest one of all!!!!…when I look around at the people I know and have come across in my life, the happiest ones have taken responsibility, and the unhappiest ones have not, somehow…I understand this is difficult to do at times, but blaming keeps us stuck, so that we cannot learn or grow or change…as I have always told my children, even when it is hard or you are wrong, or you even did something “bad”…take responsibility!!!….because if you didn’t do it, then how can you change it???

    Without responsibility, you have no control, and without control you have no confidence or success or happiness in life!! I see so many people my age who are “stuck” and unhappy, simply because they are still blaming others!!….and last, but not least, I love #10, alone, because even as a small child, I looked around and I realized, every time I thought someone else had the “perfect” life, I realized this wasn’t true…EVERYONE has their pain, their difficulties in life…no ones life is perfect, and we never know what goes on “behind closed doors” as I like to say…so I learned to never compare, and to never think someone else has it better than me…that allows you to be happy for what you DO have, and to live in the present!!

    Thank you for your insightful and oh-so-true words….keep spreading the truth!! ;)

  • What I have learnt about tough times is that just like good times, they are not permanent. Thank god! Recently, felt like it’s snowballing on me. I lost my dad and parted ways with the love of my life within a few months of each other. My biggest fears came true. And after a few months of raving, ranting, cribbing and complaining I have realised that just like everything else it’s a phase and I have to allow it to pass.

    The best thing to do is to hang in there, be grateful and smile an awful lot :)

    Happiness is around the corner!

  • @Toby: Great analogy!

    @Diane: It isn’t easy to remain positive when negativity surrounds you, but remember that you have full control over what you choose to believe. You can effectively defend yourself against all kinds of negativity by adopting simple, yet powerful, beliefs that support a positive outlook in the face of seemingly negative circumstances. Sounds like you’re on the right path!

    @All: We have all learned at one point or another that life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times. Remember this and continue to push forward. Your strength, persistence and positivity will pave a happier life ahead. Thank you for setting a great example and sharing your wisdom. :)

  • Great Post. Thank you for that. Truly there are lots of things to be thankful for and the fact that we dont realize it says a lot about selfishness of a human being.

    And that is when we grow by going through tough times who remind us that we have a lot to be thankful for. Thats when we mature as a person and understand humility and selflessness. This is especially true when there are too many things on the plate to take care of. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

    I wish everyone here something good, something that they deserve very much and hope I can do my bit to spread love, affection and thoughtfulness.


  • Thank you for the powerful quote from Freud “most people do not want freedom because freedom involves responsibility.” I think it speaks to many circumstances from staying in jobs people hate to being a part of a relationship that goes nowhere. For me, it’s the fear of the unknown. Being a Game of Thrones fan, Khaleesi said, “People learn to love their chains.” I’ve learned that fear is my chain and I have to work hard at releasing the chains every day.

  • These are all so true. I really appreciate hearing that we can do it, that there are no excuses, and we need to take responsibility for our own stuff. We are never really alone. Thank you!

  • This weekend was hard. I was rolling around in the thought that I am won’t find my path, that I am not on it, I lost someone and something that I truly loved and wanted, and everyone is happy what about me? Whatever this is I want to embrace it, grow in it, and move on with a happier me. I make no promises because I clueless about it all, yet I keep taking steps towards what? I have no idea, but I am trying to let go of who and what does not serve me this much I know for sure.

  • Knowing that I am not alone, was a lovely reminder that I needed today. Thank you.

  • “When times are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a tough one that leads to greatness.”

    Thank you for helping me to find the silver lining.


  • I struggle with thinking of myself as good-enough. When I am confronted at work or home with someone challenging the way I do things, I immediately assume I’m wrong. Lately I have made a conscious decision to talk softly with myself and breathe before I assume I made a mistake. I worked hard for where I am in my career and it didn’t happen by happy mistake. I must be worth more than I think…

  • Thank you for this article! I have been learning these lessons slowly as I go through my tough time, but having them all here and seeing that we are all going through this together is a great reminder of what builds compassion and strength. Thank you!

  • Thank you for a wonderful and heartwarming post. A great reminder that through adversity comes strength and the chance to discover who we really are. Johnny Cash summed it up best when he said, “a hammer knows the fire, before it knows the steal.”

  • I have been going through a tough time recently. I felt there was hope I was stuck in the same place everyday. I have faith that everything happens for a reason there is wisdom behind all things which we cannot see now but will have an impact i who we are as people. I take each day as it comes as I believe that after hardship does come ease. Reading the articles and thinking of others struggle means we are not alone everyone is going through something. My belief is that all matters are decreed in life we take the bad and the good. We all get out fair share we should be grateful for the things we have I know o am now after a long time feeling sorry for myself not any more. As trials make us stronger no matter how hard it may be we have to wake up each day take it as a blessing life teaches us many a lesson it’s what we learn from these lessons that is important .

  • A friend posted this blog post on her FB page today and it is so on point as I am experiencing many of these very tumultuous emotions on my current life journey. I have always believed that the secret to our happiness is inside of us. I am just sad for those who don’t know it. Keep on doing what you are doing guys.

  • Thank you so much. I have had a really tough times to along the past few months. I am now in a better place but my boyfriend left me a week ago after a years relationship of it being nothing other than perfect. I’m really struggling as he even told me himself he’s enjoying the pain of us separating so he can feel pain again and number 1 was the most helpful for me. I’m grown stronger and stronger over years and I know it will continue. But right now I take full responsibility when he tells me I was a perfect girlfriend but because he’s 27 he doesn’t want to commit and finds himself too young and needs to do some soul searching which i find very hurtful that he wouldn’t want to be w me during this time. He’s told me he sees no future and that he doesn’t want to keep it going if that’s the case (also due to religion)

    I’m pretty devastated and hated myself for being so good. If any of u have more advice that would be great. Thank you for this article… really thanks.

  • Thanks for putting all of the wisdom in this article in one place and reminding me of these truths. Our perceptions of our reality can make or break us. In difficult times I remind myself that This too will pass. Thank you.

  • What a wonderful reading. I have gone through a very difficult time in the last 7 or 8 years. Pretty much lost my business most of my finances my home and nearly became homeless if it wasnt for some wonderful friends. Also went through a divorce. If anything what all of this has taught me is to appreciate those things that truly matter like family and my sons well being. Money is a temporary thing that comes and goes. But the people you love are there for ever. Ive also become more sensitive to other peoples plight and challenges and lifes difficulties have truly humbled me. Ive truly become a better person through the hard times.

  • Wow great article, also just want to say that reading the comments from all of you amazing people fills me with encouragement to “greet tomorrow with love in my heart”

  • This article has helped me so much. I committed a few mistakes a few years ago in college. I’m at university but I’m starting to question my worth and if i really deserve to be here. I know how hard I worked but the mistakes I accidentally committed are forcing me to question myself and if i deserve anything in life. I feel that I don’t deserve to be happy and that prevents me from being myself around a lot of people. The past 7 months have been really difficult for me, every single day I’m always thinking about my mistakes and it drives me crazy. I’m making up for them but I feel like that is not enough. I keep asking myself, what else is it I can do to make up for everything? I’ve spoken to my friends and family about it but I’m still finding if difficult to forgive myself.

  • Life is difficult and can hit us at anytime. The more I had difficulties in my life was when I became more stronger as each one came across my path.

    Today, I don’t give it a second thought. I will usually accept whatever comes my way, deal with it and cast it in good order.

    Something I will forever recall my Dad saying. “Everything we deal with in life, it will come to pass.”

  • Really a good post.. and comments from others also help me to calm my mind.

  • Hello Marc,
    I am glad that you are sharing great stuff, and helping others to get rid of tensions. I liked your post a lot because I am of the opinion that as we are alive, we have chance to rock. Life is the most beautiful gift by our creator. Am I right?

  • Thanks…great post

  • I truly believe that challenges make you stronger…. Recognising your own strengths and weakness and dealing with things as they happen has been my greatest lesson so far….. Not facing your challenges either because of the fear of failure or just ignoring them and hoping that they will go away only turns the little hills into mountains that then seem insurmountable…… Face your fears, recognise when you are emotionally paralysed and find the inner strength to take those little steps. Being forever present will keep you focused … Never give up on the dream and believe in yourself ….

  • These words saved my life. And I mean that literally.

  • Thank you for sharing such wonderful wisdom. Just when I think I have already gone through the hardest parts of my life, it keeps giving. But I have realized that some of the greatest blessings I have come from my tragedies. If my sisters and I had not been separated in foster care, we would not be in the wonderful places we are now. I am also currently dealing with a tragedy in which I can not even know how to explain and everyone around me just doesn’t know what to say but those things do not define me. I will make the best of my own life.. I will keep reading and doing my best. Thank you.

  • Tears are streaming down my face. This article shook me straight and woke me up. I have never read something so beautiful and so true.
    There are angels walking this earth. You are one of them.

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