You hope to meet incredible people, but you’d rather bite your lip than make small talk with strangers. You want to build that side business you’ve been daydreaming about, but the complexities of actually starting it make the palms of your hands sweaty. Speaking up and adding value in corporate meetings could improve your reputation in the eyes of your boss, but you’re scared of saying the wrong thing. Circumstances like these – the ones that are fundamentally important in the long-term, but downright terrifying in the near-term – are incredibly common. And of course, the easiest reaction to these circumstances is avoidance. But that would be a huge mistake!
In fact, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from completing over 850 self-assigned comfort zone challenges, it’s this:
We don’t stumble accidentally into a wildly fulfilling, deeply satisfying, jaw-dropping life… we create it. And the journey always leads us outside our comfort zone.
Before starting The Year of Fear Project, I was the least likely person on planet Earth to be interesting, adventurous, or successful (more on my story here).
Even after a decade spent studying the psychology of success and how to procrastination-proof my goals, I found tackling something outside of my comfort zone every day was the one decision that transformed every area of my life nearly overnight.
I have now gone on to speak, write, and teach students across seven continents how to get comfortable with the circumstances that make them uncomfortable.
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to invest all the hard work and hustle I did over the past several years to learn a few of the most powerful lessons from venturing outside your comfort zone.
Here’s the bad news: you can’t “unlearn” what you’re about to read…
After getting a sneak peek into just a few (of the many) life changing lessons I’ve learned, you may have no choice but to join me on this journey.
When you discover the real “secret” to getting everything you want out of life starts with one simple action – facing your fears in small ways every day – it becomes the healthiest addiction one can form.
A Comfort Zone Is The Most Dangerous Place To Live
A comfort zone is like wallpaper in most people’s lives – operating in the background, ever-present, something we never even think about.
But as much as we seemingly enjoy comfort and routine, we as human beings are often happiest when challenged and making progress. And when we commit to finding small ways to grow daily, we discover four things rather quickly:
1. Even when you are on the right track, you will still doubt yourself.
Before you practice expanding your comfort zone, you may think fear is a sign that you are on the wrong track.
I vividly remember preparing for my first cross-country move to Los Angeles from the Midwest.
Even though I dreamt about it daily, I struggled to slash it off my bucket list for four years. Every time I convinced myself to finally put my sleepy hometown in the rearview mirror, fear would overwhelm me…
- “Am I really strong enough to do this alone?”
- “Will I ever make friends as great as the ones I have here?”
- “What if I’m not cool enough to hang with the hipsters in LA?”
- “Wait… how much is rent?!?”
- etc.
What I discovered after starting The Year of Fear Project is perfectly summed up by one of my favorite writers, Jon Acuff: “We will never be brave enough to do what we need to do next.”
The problem wasn’t that I was losing sleep at night and sweating through my sheets at the rate of Niagara Falls. The problem was I thought I shouldn’t be.
Even when you are on the right track, you will still be afraid and doubt yourself.
Half the battle is already won when you expect that fear will show up. It does not matter the size of the leap – little or large. From walking up to compliment a beautiful stranger, to bravely asking your boss for a raise, doubt and fear are always near when you are on the right track. I’ll say that again…
Doubt and fear are always near, especially when you are on the right track.
And it takes practice to embrace this reality…
Instead of a stoplight, I now see doubt and fear as a spotlight – illuminating where I should go next. I realize all of the good decisions (and necessary growth decisions) that change our lives often cause us to lose a little sleep, and that’s perfectly OK.
How would your life change if you saw doubt and fear as a sign that you are on the right track? What goal or project would you bravely stick with or start up again?
2. You can love others without listening to them.
I’ll kick this off with a disclaimer: having a few people you can lean on and trust to give it to you straight when you are being a wackadoodle is important. However, what may surprise you is that those whose advice helps you the least can sometimes be those who love you the most.
So, trust me now and believe me later: you can love someone without listening to them every step of the way.
When you start taking risks – especially the kind of risks your loved ones don’t agree with – you become a red hot bullseye for feedback. Even when they mean well, it’s rare that they’ll just toss their hats in the air and enthusiastically shout:
“Go for it!”
“Do what makes you happy!”
“Quit that crappy sales job that is slowly suffocating your soul and go teach yoga!”
Why?
In short: they care and want to protect you from failure.
But they may also subconsciously fear that if your life changes too much, there may not be space left for them. And that’s OK too. That’s just one of approximately a million oddball ways we humans show love.
A powerful quote that helped me release my people pleasing ways in this area came from my friend, Jesse Elder:
“The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to own our own happiness. The greatest freedom we can give to others is to let them have their own experience and not try to control it.”
If that’s not worthy of being tattooed on the backside of our eyelids, I don’t know what is.
And Jesse’s sentiment is also reinforced by another one of my favorite quotes…
“If you have big goals and dreams,
don’t expect others to follow you,
because you’ll represent the strength,
courage and vision they don’t have yet.”
– Peter Voogd
Bottom line: If you want to slide into the grave with less regret and make a positive impact on the world in the way only you can, I would encourage you to take calculated risks and let other people’s doubts and opinions about how you live your life be their problem, not yours.
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give others is to simply remind them of what is possible when they take a chance on themselves.
How can you take responsibility for your own happiness and allow others to have their own experience?
3. You may be called crazy before you’re considered “cool.”
When you start facing your fears, expect that people may call you “crazy” long before they call you “cool.”
These days it’s “cool” that I run two successful online businesses from my Macbook Pro. It’s admirable I’m invited to speak on stage and get interviewed on podcasts across the globe.
But you know what wasn’t cool?
This little whacky idea I had in 2013 to do something new, different, or outside my comfort zone every day for an entire year straight. And it wasn’t just friends and family who looked at me like I had lost my mind – strangers wagged their fingers of disapproval at me too.
When I decided to do a police ride-along to collect a new experience, the dispatcher who scheduled my ride was puzzled by my idea of “fun.” Especially when it involved a bulletproof vest and waking up at 4:30 AM on a Saturday.
Result: it was a life-changing Saturday I will never forget.
When I walked into a nursing home and asked them to nominate me their loneliest visitor because it was a good deed that had been collecting dust on my bucket list for half a decade, the staff crossed their fingers hoping I wasn’t a lunatic.
Result: one of the most powerful experiences of my twenties. The story has now gone on to inspire others across the globe to complete the same comfort zone challenge.
When I booked a one-way plane ticket to the Pacific Northwest to live in a city I had never been to simply because it “sounded like a great adventure,” my Grandmother didn’t sleep a wink for weeks.
Result: I had the best summer of my life.
When I had zilch speaking experience and agreed to do a 45-minute talk at Marc and Angel’s Think Better, Live Better conference, flanked by some of the best speakers money can hire, other speakers I knew thought I was bonkers.
Result: I worked my tail off for months, lost a lot of sleep, and walked on stage so terrified I was afraid the film crew would catch it on camera. However, when I got a standing ovation and walked off stage to see Marc and Angel smiling, I’ve never been so proud to make two great friends happy that they chose me.
Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn’t have to be a large challenge to be life-changing either.
Some of the most powerful challenges I took on were small, but significant...
- Deciding I would go first anytime someone asked for a volunteer.
- Wearing skirts to overcome my challenges with body confidence.
- Simply asking for a 33% raise with confidence (I got it).
Look closely at the journey of anyone you admire. I guarantee that most of the small things that led them to being called “cool” first earned them the label of “crazy.”
And that’s great news for you and me. We now get to be cool with being called crazy, and know it is simply part of the process when we’re trying to put a positive dent in this giant spinning rock.
Nobody who changed history followed all the rules. What crazy ideas do you have that the world needs to experience?
4. You don’t have to choose between priorities and dreams. You can do both.
When you decide to start taking risks it doesn’t mean you can’t care about what other people think. Or that you get to ditch priorities like rent, kids, and student loans.
However, we often fool ourselves into thinking life has to be an either / or choice. I have to be a Mom OR I can chase my dream of opening a craft shop.
I would encourage you to make one tiny but powerful adjustment to your vocabulary:
Swap OR for AND.
I am a Mom AND I’m building my craft business on nights and weekends after my kiddos fall asleep.
I was born with a disability AND I can still travel the world.
I am a software engineer AND I am completing a world record for playing a golf course in all 50 states.
Most great ideas, inventions and businesses are built off the midnight oil in the scraps of time others discard to social media, reality TV, or mindless activities. Ever heard of Facebook? Or Snapchat?
But, it is going to take bravery. Pushing through the doubt that is built into all great ideas. Proclaiming your dreams. Loving others without listening to them 24/7. Being cool with being called crazy before your idea blossoms. And knowing, deep down, that what you want for yourself matters as much as other priorities in your life.
The Biggest Mistake Most People Make With Their Comfort Zone
The biggest mistake I see most people make with trying to expand their comfort zone is believing it has to be “big” or reckless. After 850 comfort zone challenges, I firmly advise the opposite.
Start small.
Simply doing something outside of your ordinary routine is enough to stretch you and wake your brain up.
Consider taking a new way home from work.
Dig out a piece of clothing you bravely purchased but have not worn yet.
Walk up to the next interesting person you see and say, “Of all the creative and interesting people I’ve seen today, you’re my favorite!”
Don’t underestimate the power of tiny opportunities to stretch your comfort zone. These small actions help you meet new people and build your confidence to try bigger comfort zone challenges over time.
It Doesn’t Matter When You Start, Just That You Start
Another common misnomer is the belief that age is a factor. Age is irrelevant to when you can begin adventurously living outside your comfort zone.
If you’re older, shouldn’t you be inspired to take risks that make the most of the time you have left?
If you’re younger, don’t you want to make the next 50 years the best yet?
Again, it does not matter when you start, just that you START!
Every Day You Wake Up With An Incredible Invitation
Every morning when you wake up you are given an invitation to live a life of complete engagement and rich adventure.
Don’t turn it down!
The gifts and goals inside of you hope that today you won’t let this be another article you read and don’t take action on.
If you take one lesson away from this post I hope it’s this:
No one stumbles accidentally into a wildly fulfilling, deeply satisfying, jaw-dropping life… they create it.
Are you ready to grab today’s invitation and take it?
Here is your opportunity…
24-HOUR COMFORT ZONE CHALLENGE: In the next 24 hours, I challenge you to take one small action outside of your comfort zone. Post your idea right now in the comments section below, and I’ll come back to personally read each one (you can also ask me any questions you have).
And if you need ideas, you can grab my list of 100 Weird, Easy and Interesting Ways to Expand Your Comfort Zone.
TO RECAP:
- Decide one action you want to take outside of your comfort zone in the next 24-hours. If you need ideas, download this checklist.
- Post your intended action (personal comfort zone challenge) in the comments below. Or leave me any questions or feedback you have.
- I’ll come back through to read and respond.
Author Bio: Kendra Wright is a writer, speaker and location independent entrepreneur. Since creating the Year Of Fear Project in 2013, she has completed over 850 self-assigned comfort zone challenges. Kendra specializes in teaching others how to break through fear and uncertainty. Find more of her work and comfort zone challenges at HeyKendra.com.
Jackie says
Such a great article! And really well aligned with M&A’s previous articles on the power of daily rituals. I really think doing something every day that slightly stretches our comfort zone is a healthy daily ritual worth adopting. And I’m actually a student in M&A’s Getting Back to Happiness course and their guidance on building and sustaining these kinds of rituals has been a game-changer in my life over the past year, as I’ve been recovering from a rough divorce. Anyway, once I’m fully settled with the three daily rituals I’ve gradually implemented already, I’m going to add stretching my comfort zone into the mix. And I think I’ll start with some body image challenges, which involve me dressing more like a feminine woman again.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Hey Jackie! If you’re already a student of Marc and Angel’s course, Getting Back to Happy, you are in excellent hands! Once you’re rocking your rituals, toss a few comfort zone challenges in there and you’ll be well on your way! Maybe even consider snagging a few great skirts like I did when I consciously tackled body image challenges too!
Jess cannon says
Can you touch upon that more? I’ve never been girlie. The idea of dresses especially sun dresses makes me very uncomfortable.
How do I fight that?
David says
Yep! I love when a new email update from this blog pops into my inbox at just the right time. I was just talking about this topic with my wife this morning, and I love the way you’ve attacked it. Conquering your comfort zone has become a rewarding journey for you, Kendra, and my guess is that it could be an equally rewarding journey for all of us. I’m going to start by doing the research I’ve been putting off for starting an online presence to market and sell my photography — it makes me uncomfortable to think about it — the whole learning and selling process — but it’s something I really want to do. It will likely happen in small steps, but challenge accepted!
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Hey David! If the typical conversation over breakfast includes topics like “getting out of your comfort zone” I think you snagged a fab wife!
Understanding the whole process at once is often overwhelming! Take it one tiny step at a time and know the different between those who succeed and those who don’t is learning how to stick with those moments of fear and overwhelm.
If you’re reading blogs like this, my intuition tells me your mindset it already top notch and you’re on the right track!
Megan Kirby says
Excellent read! I’m so glad I just checked my email and found this post waiting for me, as I really needed to read it.
I’m definitely that person who avoids discomfort. And so this is something I’ve been working on for awhile in my life. Your post actually reminded me of this quote from Marc and Angel’s 1,000 Little Things book that I’ve had pinned to my computer monitor for the past few months:
“If you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is not an ending, but a beginning.”
It reminds me to see discomfort as a door to new experiences and opportunities.
As for the challenge, I’m going to attend the 10-session yoga class I’ve already paid for but have been skipping out because I don’t feel like I’m in good enough shape to show up in workout clothes. Thank you for the extra push.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Hi Megan! Don’t worry — we are ALL hardwired to avoid discomfort. However, so very few of us realize it and lean into flexing our courage muscle!
Looking forward to seeing the beautiful lessons you learn on the mat. I’m confident one of them may be that you’re already “good enough” and looking good in workout clothes is overrated. 😉 My knees still look ridiculous. So I’m right there with ya love! We all feel awkward… we’re all simply hoping no one else notices!
Leslie F. Miller says
Isn’t it sad that we can’t even feel comfortable enough to do things for ourselves that will make us feel comfortable? I get it.
Parul says
I’m inspired after reading this article …. to create my own life . I have been jobless for the past two years as I was debarred by the government . But I have served my punishment sentence ……fulfilled the prerequisite requirements and am ready to be back on track. But my former employee is hesitant to take me back . So I’m applying to other establishments which is totally out of my comfort zone. I have an interview with them today and I’m nervous of getting rejected. But I’m going to face my fears …be honest about my past and see where it takes me. I will not give up and after reading this article I’m even more confident. I still have doubts about my ability , my loved ones think “I’m crazy ” but I’m doing it anyway.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Hi Parul! Just remember… we’re often called crazy before we’re labeled “cool.” You’ve got this! Best of luck today and any future interviews on the horizon for you!
Baily says
Loved this article, one I needed to help me move out of my comfort zone! Definitely going to think about a challenge this afternoon and set it up for tomorrow.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Awesome Baily! If you need a few ideas, feel free to snag my list of my top 100 comfort zone challenges linked up at the end of the article.
Looking forward to seeing where your challenge takes you!
Anita says
I rarely comment for fear that people ridicule or have something better to say than me but reading this as I travel to work was just what I needed. I’ve spent a while worrying about leaving a job and I took another I wasn’t sure of and the fear wasn’t there which kind of bothered me too. A month in and it isn’t right. And those around me are saying you have to stay apart from a couple of voices saying if it isn’t making you happy now then do something that does. The idea of taking on mini challenges to get out of your comfort zones struck a massive chord today. It’s what I gotta do. So thank you for this article. Really thank you
The comfort zone challenge for me is looking at volunteer options. I want to work in the charity sector and I want to do good and give back so I’ve just applied to be a volunteer for the local
homeless charity. I’m scared they will reject me as I don’t have what they want. But I have to try. As a change is needed.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Anita — you did what you could at the time with the knowledge you had. Now that you’ve grown and learned more, you can make different choices in the future.
I think volunteering is really going to open you up to the beautiful gifts we often take for granted in life and help clear away your mental clutter. Looking forward to hearing how your challenge goes!
Cheers to fears my friend,
Kendra
Brad Reynolds says
Thank you, I truly needed this message today, now! Everything seemed so overwhelming, Everything!!! One step at a time, right .
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
There are no coincidences. 😉 This landed in your inbox for a reason. No one expects you to be super human but you. One step at a time Brad. The hare is overrated in the race, the tortoise always wins. He also seems to enjoy the race more 😉
Cheers to fears my friend,
Kendra
Anne says
Boy did I need this! I’m in the process of opening a wine shop. I left the wholesale wine industry after 30 years to ‘step outside my comfort zone’ and do something I’ve thought about for years. I’m excited, but also scared and filled with daily anxiety. But I know this will be life changing and I will grow in more ways than I could ever imagine. I think your article was the extra push I needed that says ‘you can do this’! THANK YOU!!
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
You are oh so welcome Anne! Stay tuned in to Marc and Angel’s blog and they will help you maintain the mindset you need to rock it in business. Building a business is 10% tactics, and 90% mindset.
Something tells me you’re on the right track. 😉
Cheers to fears my friend,
Kendra
Toni says
New decade for me starting tomorrow and this is very timely.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Perfect! Thanks for reading Toni!
James Victorio says
Today.. I will stop thinking/dreaming.. Will start planning and learning!!
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Perfect James! What is one tiny thing you can take off your “someday” list and add to a day of the week that actually exists… like Monday, Tues, Wed, etc.
Grateful to give you the inspiration to start.
Cheers to fears my friend,
Kendra
Sonika Agarwal says
I want to vlog and build my YouTube channel. While recording a video, I keep assuming that people will think I am mad, talking to a mobile or camera. But I want to do it. I love YouTube and want to explore the platform. I know I can overcome my fear. BTW my channel is linked to my name.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Awesome idea Sonika! And you are already rocking the Youtube circuit! (I checked out your videos). Keep moving forward!
Cheers to fears my friend,
Kendra
Sharon OBanion says
I signed up yesterday for M&A emails. I am currently facing the fears and doubts and regrets of a big move I have already made. This article was written for me. Thank you so much Kendra! and those who replied.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
You’re welcome, Sharon! You may also enjoy reading about my thoughts on moving as well here: http://heykendra.com/7-reasons-you-should-move-to-a-new-city/
Congrats on your move and remember that even when you are on the right track, you will still be afraid.
Stay Brave and Be Bold,
Kendra
Verna says
Thanks for the gentle push (also uncomfortable and irritating). I resolve to tackle the germ of an idea that keeps reoccurring to pursue some kind of graphic and/or writing project. It has become increasingly annoying because I don’t know where to start (another favorite excuse?). All I know for certain is that I have done it well in the past and was inspired to expand my skills and creativity. So, my first step might be to look up new local classes to build websites OR just volunteer for a staff position at a non profit organization.
This whole project is easier to abandon because it’s not even completely formulated in my mind. Just a kernel of an idea. DUH… so what if I don’t actually know where I am going. I just need to do it.
Also, thank you for giving me the opportunity to put in writing what has been nagging my soul for weeks.
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Hi Verna! This is a common challenge for artists so know that you aren’t alone! It doesn’t matter HOW you start, just THAT you start.
Cheering you on,
Kendra
Wendy says
Great job encouraging me!
I’m going to explore getting involved in a relationship. I want one, I’ve dreamed of one, I avoid them like the plague. For 12 years! I’m taking it slow but I’m doing it! Slow is a temporary word though. I feel like people want to jump ahead full speed. That’s what stops me.
Wendy
Kendra at HeyKendra.com says
Whatever pace you take is the perfect pace for you! As long as you aren’t sitting on the sidelines against your own better judgment, I think you’re well on your way Wendy!
What is one small action you could take in the next 24-hours to explore moving forward with getting involved in a relationship?
Mary says
I needed to read this today.
I am creating an adult coloring book and it is almost ready. I only have the front cover to complete and it should be ready before the end of the week. It will be my first book up on Amazon and yeah, I’m nervous.
My first idea for a coloring book was outside of my current skills level but I didn’t let that stop me. I changed the theme of the book and am going for it. I am watching wonderful educational drawing videos on YouTube and am much more positive about my abilities.
I just needed to start from where I was and not wait for the situation to be perfect.
Kendra @ HeyKendra.com says
Starting from where you are is perfect Mary. Even all pro’s had to start from square one. Perfect is the killer of progress.
Looking forward to hearing how things go!
Kendra
Kris says
“I now see doubt and fear as a spotlight – illuminating where I should go next.” I have a job interview Wednesday morning that I have felt the hiring panel won’t look at me seriously. After reading this article, I will now walk in with confidence believing that I am the best candidate and will put in the time in the next day or two to showcase my strengths. If I am not chosen, I will have learned something about myself but I won’t be upset that I didn’t give it my all or that there was something wrong with me. I refuse to play the victim.
Kendra @ HeyKendra.com says
Excellent attitude Kris. Regardless of the outcome, you can’t loose with a mindset like that!
Sue B says
This year I volunteered to develop and order the food for trail and camp recipes for 150 scouts to cook and also feed them breakfast at a scout camp when not on trail. I’m a so so cook. I’ve never cooked for more than 20 at a time. The camp is at 7000 feet. I just turned 67. The terror I’m feeling is temporary. 🙂
Kendra @ HeyKendra.com says
Doubt and fear are always near, especially when you are on the right track Sue! Thanks for reading!
Rooting you on,
Kendra
The Tepid Tamale says
I am going to track my next 24 hours. No excuses, no exceptions. I am going to track where I spend my time. Thanks for the challenge!
Kendra @ HeyKendra.com says
You’re welcome for the challenge! I hope it illuminated some opportunities for you!
Kendra
Lisa says
I have been getting out of my comfort zone, but thanks to your article I will do something new: volunteer for a gopher tortoise survey taking place this weekend in a local nature preserve.
Seyi says
“Even when you are on the right track, you will still doubt yourself.” – brilliant!
I needed this. Thank you.
Tanya L. says
Wow! Did I need to hear this today! I am a 56 yr old woman whose husband died a little over 2 weeks ago. I lived at home until we married, and have been married for over 25 years. He was my soul mate, and a gem! We have no children just 4 fur babies. He was sick for over 8 months. Maybe those 8 months were to teach me to be strong, and grow; to learn how to take care of myself. In 56 years this is the first time it all falls on me. I miss him, but am filled with anxiety about the future. After reading today’s email, I vow to look toward hope, to not worry so much, especially about what others think andv say( some so full of advice.). I know my new life is out of my comfort zone but I will try to be easy on myself. I will take it day by day, i just wanted to say today’s e mail gave me hope. Discomfort is a part of life.
Andi Ohlson says
Bless! after 25 years of marriage, and divorced, I sometimes wondered what hurts more, losing a spouse that loves you, or one who doesn’t.
Diane says
What a great article! Thank you so much for sharing this….I have been trying to push myself recently to do things out of my comfort zone to help me to grow more as a person.
I learned how to scuba dive last September and did my first dive trip with my boyfriend. Well, guess what? I broke up with the boyfriend and decided I wanted to continue diving. So, yesterday on vacation with my 20 year old son, I went scuba diving with the divemaster. I felt so empowered doing it on my own. I was scared, but believed I’d feel so much better on the other side and pushed myself to do it.
Cheers to embracing feeling fear and doing it anyway!
You rock!
Dannah says
I really needed to see this. I have a job where I teach difficult programs to troubled people and sometimes I feel it sucks all the joy, happiness and hopes out of me to want anymore then what I have because the world seems like a such a horrible place some days.
I feel and know I can offer more, make others see the world is amazing and the people in it, but your right Kendra, you have to go out there and experience it, create something, expand yourself. “courage is being afraid to death but saddling up anyway” John Wayne.
So Thanks.
Lisa says
I’m going to canvas for the Labour party before this week’s UK General election. It means knocking doors and having potentially tricky conversations with strangers. Outside of this introvert’s comfort zone! But it’s for an important cause I believe in, so worth my blushes 🙂
lizzo says
Lisa my love, I hope you went out there and nailed it. There’s been a change, at least! All I’ve done is chirrup feebly on Facebook.. and found a few more like minded people as a result. More power to us next time! x
Becca says
Great article. I needed this to kick my butt so instead of coming right home from work tomorrow, I’m going to get on that bus and head out to another part of town and explore!
Mulikat Haruna says
I need to stop being afraid of sharing my thoughts at meetings. Most times I have this inner dialogue with myself, I have the right answers but every time something holds me back from speaking up. I need to start being confident to address my fears. Any words of advice you have for me?
Kendra @ HeyKendra.com says
Hi Mulikat!
Instead of going from “zero to 60mph” I encourage clients to go from “zero to 5%.”
If this week you were going to speak up 5% more in meetings what could you do?
Start there.
Then, continue to slightly increase it.
Starting from zero, it’s challenging. However, when we have even a smidge of momentum on our side, gravity swings in to help us move forward.
Start with setting a goal of 5% progress this week.
Hope that helps!
Andi Ohlson says
Post-divorce, I did a Buddhist course, Spiritual Care of the Dying. You imagine that you have been given 6 months to live, and work through the required tasks around that. Sounds morbid, but it has really made me step outside my comfort zone and try to live every day fearlessly. Lap dance for charity at 50? No problem!!
Helen says
I loved this article basically because it would be easier and faster for me to write a list of all the things I’m not afraid of. The older I get the more scared I’ve become about making the wrong decisions and taking the wrong turns and losing people I love and avoiding pain and heartbreak at any cost. Time to invest some time in my M & A course that I bought online over a year ago and haven’t started. Thanks for the great read Kendra.
Amy says
This is really thought provoking!
Laura Marzke says
Aloha, Kendra: In the last 13 years, I’ve been able to experience and walk out, in tact, on the other side of:
*birth of a gifted, special needs child;
*job arbitration, self-represented, decided in my favor;
*husband’s stage 4 cancer diagnosis and recovery;
*marriage separation.
Thank you for your poignant article. It’s rare to “meet” another who embraces bravery as a strength. The positive or negative outcome(s) of out-of-comfort-zone actions will always be confidence and strength.
Sandy Clancy says
I really loved this Kendra. I have crept through my life fearfully, thinking everyone else knew what they were doing. Now I realise everyone experiences fear, they just hide it well LOL. I deep breathe through the fear and realise unless it’s a life threatening situation I am likely to survive this and hopefully learn new skills in the process. Loved your blog. Thanks for sharing.
Sandy 🙂
Amy says
Hi Kendra, pleased to e-meet you. I really enjoyed reading your post and I just wanted to let you know, I’m all inspired! Thanks very much, Amy 🙂
Bev says
Thanks all, lovely article. LOL, just by replying I am already ‘out of my comfort zone’. I have avoided social media, Facebook and online forums etc. for so long but am now trying to start my own little business , (no lets amend that), starting my own business as an independent distributor for a wellness and anti ageing company and am going to have to learn the social media trade asap! Reason I am doing this is to reclaim my life. I no longer want to ‘rent out my time’ to someone else to benefit from, Here’s to freedom, courage and success. and you better believe I am crazy scared
Sam Reader says
Awesome article. I love how it captures the importance of living a life doing meaningful things to help others and to experience what you’ve always wanted to!
We can easily find ourselves repeating what’s gone before us, out of fear we hide from the comfort zone never realising that it’s slowly killing our hopes and dream with the mediocrity and repeatability of our lives.
Break out of it, set a plan of action to go for what you love every day of your life!
Pi says
Wonderful article, i am really inspired. THANK YOU
Anna Pavlova says
I love your attitude, Kendra. I completely identify! just recently I starting blogging about my life philosophy of continuously reinventing yourself by learning a new skill every year. A lot of the New skills I learned in the past decade involved facing gears and getting out of my comfort zone. The rewards were tenfold the risks. And, yeah, when I became a biker, for example, I was definitely “crazy” before I was “cool.” Great article!
Julie says
Wow… thank you… I think you just changed my life Kendra…. bring on the adventures 🙂
El says
I quit my job because i knew that i didnt want to be there regardless of how easy and safe it was to work there. I wanted my legacy to be different. I decided to start my own clothing business and get involved in diff projects until i found what i am passionate about. Now 6 months after i am freaking out that maybe i did the wrong thing, i lost my financial security, i used to be so happy and joyful and now i am scared that maybe i am not smart enough to do this, maybe i should had stayed there etc etc. i challenge myself to stop beating my self up and start re-believing in myself and enjoy life rather than becoming terrified of what may or may not happen. I ll set a plan of action and stick to it. I chose my life. I make it happen. Thank you for the inspiring article.
diane says
… someone somewhere once said:.
“staying in a rut is like being in a grave with the ends kicked out”
chilling huh! It’s surprising how often I wrestle with this one… desperate to make changes and step outside my comfort zone then find out I’ve simply sprinted further down the track.
Kendra, thank-you for holding the mirror of truth… think it’s letting go for me…. physical stuff..so I can leap forward in an emotional level.
Us humans are crazy beings resisting that which we deeply know is right!
Nicah Caramba says
Hey, Kendra!
This is a great article. Right now leaving my comfort zone means continuously working on my blog that I want to eventually turn into an online business.
I’m met with uncertainty everyday, but I always keep an open mind to the possibilities and never forget to be flexible in my approach.
Thanks so much for this. 🙂
Tazmyn says
Hi Kendra?
Just posting this comment is out of my comfort zone, because I’ve been reading articles here for a couple years now but never posted a thing, so good job, me.
My one thing is to sing a song for my dad that I wrote him over two years ago. Wish me luck! ‘Cos I think I’m gonna need it.
By the way, thank you so much for writing this: The gifts and goals inside of you hope that today you won’t let this be another article you read and don’t take action on.
Because I’m not sure I would writing this comment if you didn’t, so thank you.
Kendra @ HeyKendra.com says
Tazmyn – thank you for making this the first article you stretched your comfort zone on to comment! I hope this won’t be the last and that your gifts and goals will be released to the world because of it.
Cheers to fears friend,
Kendra
Rich says
You’ve got me all pumped now Kendra, haha! Off to the gym to smash some weights about!
Joel says
Hey Kendra,
Been putting off and finding every reason possible to not start that Podcast I’ve been wanting to start.
No day like today, right? I’ll let you know how it goes.
hintsofhope.com says
Great article!
It so true! You make it sound like it’s so easy even if it isn’t, it’s amazing what you did! My journey has been more on healing my soul and I see many similarities with what you wrote and what I do! Everyday I took some small steps that let me to a better place! I can now start living since all these small steps have let me to live instead of survive.Thanks for the article!
Ginny says
Thank you for this!
Oh man oh man, good read while I wait out a storm with my mentor and friend aboard her sailboat from Annapolis to Florida. Made it only 24 before we had to wait to travel around Hatteras. Open ocean sailing on her 28′ sailboat which she has sailed twice around the world solo on.
Scary, exciting and confidence building, two women tackling moving her boat. It’s old hat to her and I’ve sailed before, but this time I feel integral. What I want more than anything is to slip out from my self doubt and confidence issues. It’s not productive and keeps me frozen. So when she asked me to help her last fall, I didn’t hesitate. And here I am, embracing the present with the many challenges it brings and learning about myself and the world each moment.
Deano says
Hi Kendra, I’ve just taken a big risk by setting away with a photography business – I was told “go for it” and “life’s too short” – I believe it’s a calculated risk though and even though my Mrs is fairly relaxed and quiet about the whole thing, I know she totally supports my decision. Wish me luck! Deano 🙂
Sarah says
I’ve just woken up tired and exhausted on a cold, drizzly, Sunday morning. I’ve just read this and I’m now re-energised to tackle the day. I’ve always played it safe, I have a couple of business ideas I’d like pursue this year – now we’re halfway through the year, it’s time to start doing! Thanks Kendra.