Since the mind drives the body, it’s the way we think that ultimately makes the dreams we dream possible or impossible. Our reality is almost entirely a reflection of our thoughts and the way we routinely behave based on what we believe to be true.
The problem is, what we believe to be true, isn’t always the truth.
And unrealized dreams – and regrets – are gradually born in our lives when our misguided beliefs stop us from being our best.
This phenomenon occurs in our lives more frequently than most of us realize.
Our course students come to us almost every day with questions and concerns about ongoing problems and regrets they have that are fueled primarily by their own misperceptions of reality. And while their personal circumstances tend to vary, the core beliefs leading them astray almost always overlap.
The truth is, no matter how smart or educated you are, your subconscious mind will sometimes attach itself to beliefs that habitually push you farther and farther away from where you want to be in life. Or as one of our course students put it on a coaching call this morning: “My mind seems to be jam-packed with all these beliefs that just lead me in the opposite direction of my dreams, which is living a successful life on my own terms.”
So, in light of our student’s realization, and our collective human struggle to think better and live better, here are some super common faulty beliefs you need to let go of if you want to live a successful (and happier) life on your own terms…
1. Stop believing that someone else has already defined “success” and the path that must be followed to get there.
When I was growing up there was a silent yet unanimously agreed upon definition of what success looked like in my family. Although it was never openly discussed, it was implied through various conversations and decisions I was directly or indirectly included in.
All of my immediate and extended family members were in one of two groups:
- College educated with a comfortable salaried job at a large corporation
- Blue-collar worker who diligently worked his or her way up the corporate ladder at a large corporation
The commonality being a steady paycheck from a large corporation.
That was the implicitly agreed upon definition of success in my family.
And by this definition, I was a failure, and still am.
I earned a college degree, but I opted to hop between several small startup companies out of college instead. My paychecks were low and the stability of my work was inconsistent at best (but I was learning). Then, a few years down the road, amidst a landslide of personal tragedies, I quit my day job to focus full-time on a side project called Marc and Angel Hack Life (you may have heard of it) that Angel and I had been gradually developing and supporting on nights and weekends.
Needless to say, my family was very skeptical of my evolving career path and decisions.
At some point, however, I realized I had to give up my family’s definition of success.
And I had to give up everyone else’s definition of success too.
Of course, doing so was easier said than done. The definitions of success that I had grown up around, and the beliefs they carried, were so deeply embedded in the cultural narratives I was accustomed to that they had very much become a benchmark by which I subconsciously measured my life. So it took me awhile to get my head straight about what success meant to me. And to a certain extent, I’m sure you can relate. Because no one is immune to this phenomena. Even the most seasoned entrepreneurs and creative types I know, who basically live on their own terms in every imaginable way, still get caught up in the overplayed idea of fame and fortune being symbols of success.
The bottom line is that, although challenging, giving up other people’s definition of success is incredibly liberating and ultimately leads to the fullest expression of who you are.
Just think about it…
Other people aren’t going to live with the results of your choices. So why would you live according to their contrived definition of success?
Have you ever honestly asked yourself what success means to YOU?
Or have you simply adopted your definition and beliefs from everyone around you?
For far too many us, the answer is the latter.
A coaching client recently told Angel and me that she wanted to become a millionaire to satisfy certain milestones for success that she had set for herself. But as we dug deeper into her story and her reasoning, it became evident that a number of her reasons for wanting to be a millionaire didn’t require a million dollars to achieve. She had just been conditioned to believe they did. And she literally laughed out loud when she realized this.
By understanding the essence of your goals and how YOU define success, it’s easier to give up other people’s contrived definitions and beliefs.
And remember, the point is not that one measure of success is any better or worse than another. The point is that you get to choose how you define it for yourself.
Simply recognize that the more conscious and deliberate you can be about what success means for YOU, the more empowered you will be to pursue the path that’s true for you.
2. Stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step.
Most people misinterpret how confidence works. They think confidence is something they have to possess before they can perform at their best. So they make a (subconscious) decision to wait until they feel more confident before taking the next step. But waiting around isn’t a confidence-building activity, so they never feel more confident, and they never take action.
Let this be your wake-up call…
Confidence is not a prerequisite to present and future performance. Rather, confidence is a direct bi-product of past performance.
For example, if you start your day on the right foot, you’re likely to have improved confidence throughout the rest of your day. Conversely, if you start your day poorly and fall flat on your face, that prior performance will likely lower your confidence for a little while (until your confidence level inevitably cycles again).
But the real kicker is the fact that today is tomorrow’s past. Your confidence going into tomorrow is directly dependent on you taking positive action today and learning from it. And this means two things…
- You can leverage your present actions to improve your future confidence.
- Forcing yourself to take the next step is the first step to feeling more confident.
So whenever you catch yourself waiting around for more confidence to magically arrive before you start working on the task in front of you, remind yourself of how confidence works, and then force yourself to start before you feel ready.
Back in 2006 Angel and I started the blog that would ultimately become Marc and Angel Hack Life. We didn’t know how to design a website. We didn’t know what a blog was. We didn’t even really know how to write very well. All we knew were five things:
- We recently lost two loved ones, unexpectedly, to illness and suicide.
- We were struggling in our personal and professional lives.
- We needed an outlet.
- We were passionate about writing, and improving our writing.
- We had not been writing enough.
How did we learn to start a website and build a blog? How did we find the confidence necessary to do so? Same way anyone else does it. Bit by bit, step by step, one page at a time.
You start reading and learning. You make decisions and take action. You make mistakes. You learn some more. You try again. You get a little better. You get a little more confident. You learn some more. You make more decisions and take more action…
And before we knew it, we were blogging daily on Marc and Angel Hack Life.
This process is at the core of all effective confidence-building and goal-achieving initiatives, and it’s one of the most essential skills you need to develop to succeed in life. It doesn’t matter if you want to be a blogger, an entrepreneur, an artist, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Learn to start before you feel ready, and you will learn how to succeed, step by step, before you even realize that you’re good enough.
Today is the day!
It’s time to set your plans into motion and make a daily ritual of generating small wins for yourself. Do so, and I guarantee that your small wins will add up quickly, and you’ll grow more confident and closer to what you ultimately want to achieve with each passing day.
3. Stop believing that more (and more) planning and thinking will yield you better results.
Just as you don’t need more confidence to take the next smallest step forward, you don’t likely need more planning and overthinking either.
Stephen King once said, “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” I have that quote taped above my work desk. It reminds me that while proper planning, strategizing and masterminding is important as you move through a project, it’s also extremely easy to lose yourself indefinitely in doing so.
When our great ideas are still just concepts floating around in our minds, we tend to think really BIG. And while thinking big isn’t inherently bad, the downside is that it often makes the barrier for taking action quite high. In other words, we tend to overthink our projects to the point where they seem more complicated than they actually are, and so we stall again and again to give ourselves more time to prepare for the next step.
To avoid “big thinking paralysis,” pare your ideas down into smaller, immediately testable activities. Can you trial-run the idea of a larger scale conference by hosting a series of smaller local events (just like Angel and I did to prepare for Think Better, Live Better)? Can you take an idea for a book and test it by writing several related blog posts (just like Angel and I did with 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently)? Can you draw it before you build it? Can you prototype it? Once you’ve tested your idea on a smaller scale, you’ll have the insight and data you need to take your idea and project to the next level.
The concept of taking action, just one step at a time, might seem ridiculously obvious, but at some point we all get caught up in the moment and find ourselves over-planning and overthinking things. Our minds are working hard but nothing is getting done. Angel and I have seen this transpire hundreds of times over the years – a coaching client/course student wants to achieve a big goal, and can’t choose just one or two important steps to focus on, so nothing worthwhile ever gets done. Let this be a reminder to you. Remind yourself that you can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you there. It doesn’t happen in an instant, but it does happen a lot faster than not getting there at all. More on this below…
4. Stop believing that focusing more on your goals is the answer.
Angel and I have mentioned this numerous times in the past, but it’s so darn important that it can’t possibly be overstated…
Goals don’t make positive changes happen, daily rituals do.
Seriously, meditate on that for a moment.
Because too often we obsess ourselves with a big goal – a big end result – but are completely unfocused when it comes to the ritual – the recurring steps – that ultimately make the goal happen. And so the weight of this big, unrealized goal sits heavy on our mind and brings our progress down to a crawl.
Does that sound at all familiar?
If so, it’s time to shift your focus AWAY from your goals. Think about this…
If you completely ignored one of your goals for the next few weeks and instead focused solely on the daily rituals that reinforce this goal, would you still get positive results?
For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you ignored your goal to lose 25 pounds, and instead focused only on eating healthy and exercising each day, would you still get results?
YES, you would! Gradually, you would get closer and closer to your goal without even thinking about it.
Watch this quick video Angel and I recorded for you – let’s take a closer look at the power of daily rituals…
(Note: Angel and I build small, daily, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
5. Stop believing that you must always be right.
To be successful on your own terms, you have to not mind being wrong in the short term. You have to take a stand, test your theory, and then admit it if you realize that your theory was wrong. It’s a process of trial and error that helps you discover what is right. And finding out what is right is a lot more important than always being right.
The process of trial and error is an essential part of any effective person’s life. Truth be told, when any human being executes a new idea for the first time, the outcome is rarely glamorous. The important thing is to synthesize the lessons learned during the process to refine the initial idea, and create a new-and-improved strategy, and perhaps a new and improved daily ritual that supports it.
The bottom line here is that expecting to get it right the first time is an exercise in futility. Prototyping, testing and iteration is vital to transforming a decent idea into an outcome of value. Rather than being discouraged by your “failures,” watch closely and learn from them. Then use what you’ve learned to build something slightly better. And then do it again and again – small steps. Sooner or later, you’ll find the level of success you had envisioned.
6. Stop believing that you have to say, “Yes.”
Besides the intelligent art of getting the right things done, there is the often-forgotten art of leaving the wrong things undone.
You must practice saying “no” even if it feels foreign to you. Your time and energy is not infinite – in fact, it’s incredibly limited. Seasoned achievers who live on their own terms know they must guard their time and energy (and their focus) closely.
Not to toot our own horns, but Angel and I have done pretty well for ourselves over the past decade. Our writing and coaching business has flourished beyond our wildest dreams. We’ve sold almost 40,000 copies of our first book, we have hundreds of students actively enrolled in our Getting Back to Happy course, and we’ve sold out and delivered very successful (lots of positive feedback) personal-growth conferences (Think Better Live Better). Our expertise and insights are in demand. However, even though we could easily scale up our business offerings to the next level, doing so wouldn’t leave enough time and energy to focus on the personal (family) objectives that are even higher on our priority list, and it also wouldn’t leave us enough time and energy to make substantial, intimate connections with our current students and readers.
Always keep in mind that you don’t have to accept every great opportunity you’re invited to. When you’re in execution mode, remember that new and unexpected opportunities can also mean distraction from your core objectives and priorities. Saying “no” is an essential part of living effectively on your own terms.
7. Stop believing that you have enough willpower to overcome the limitations and temptations of an unhealthy environment.
No matter how much determination and willpower you have, if you keep yourself positioned in an environment that works against your best intentions, you will eventually succumb to that environment.
This is where so many of us make life-altering missteps. When we find ourselves struggling to make progress in an unhealthy environment, we somehow believe that we have no other choice – that positioning ourselves in a more supportive environment, even for short intervals, is impossible.
So, rather than working in a supportive environment that pushes us forward, we expend all our energy trying to pull the baggage of an unhealthy environment along with us. And eventually, despite our best efforts, we run out of energy.
The key thing to remember here is that, as a human being, your environment immensely affects you. And, consequently, one of the best uses of your energy is to consciously choose and design working environments for yourself that support and facilitate the outcomes you intend to achieve.
For example, if you’re trying to reduce your alcohol consumption, you must…
- Spend less time around people that consume alcohol.
- Spend less time in social environments that promote alcohol consumption.
Because if you don’t your willpower will eventually collapse…
“One more drink won’t hurt, right?”
Wrong!
You need to set clear boundaries, commit, and then reconfigure your environment to make the achievement of your commitment possible.
Let’s think about some other examples…
- If you want to lose weight, your best bet is to spend more time in healthy environments with people who eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis.
- If you want to become a paid, professional comedian – a goal one of our Think Better, Live Better conference attendees recently achieved – your best bet is to surround yourself with professional comedians, do gigs together, share experiences, and orient your living and working environment to that goal.
- If you want to overcome your struggles and live a happier life, your best bet is to spend more time communicating with people who share these same intentions. This can be achieved through local support groups, personal-growth conferences like Think Better, Live Better, or online via courses and supportive communities like Getting Back to Happy.
The bottom line is that determination and willpower alone will only get you so far. If you want to make a substantial, positive, long-term change in your life, you also have to gradually change your environment accordingly. This is truly the foundation of how we grow and evolve as human beings. We mold and adapt to our environments. Thus, conscious growth and evolution involves decisively choosing or creating enriching environments that force you to progressively mold and adapt into the human being you want to become.
Your turn…
Please leave a comment below and let us know:
Which point above resonates the most with you today, and why?
Anything else to share?
We would love to hear from YOU. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Cara says
M&A, THANK YOU!
This entire post is incredibly valuable and I will be referencing it again. But points 2, 3, and 4 are especially helpful to me right now, because procrastinating on meaningful projects and relationships is absolutely one of my biggest issues. I’ve been enrolled in your Getting to Happy course for the past week, and I’m currently in the process of building two small daily rituals that support two of the important areas of my life that I’ve been neglecting. And what you say about the first step is so true too–I’ve only taken a few small steps forward at this point, but I already feel a lot more confident in myself and my ability to change things for the better.
Shayla says
Needed this! Thank you so much!
Todd says
Ditto. Day 1 of my vacation after an arduous, stressful, unfulfilling year. I need to make some changes. Thanks!
Marc Chernoff says
A few small steps forward is something to be proud of, Cara. Looking forward to hearing about more of your progress through the course portal.
Jay Janson says
Marc, the emails you and Angel send my way never cease to move my life in a positive direction. The link to this blog article arrived in my gmail inbox right on time! I’ve been thinking about the direction of my life lately, and I realize there are some changes I need to make. I have absolutely been stalling to make the small changes that I know will add up to something big. And I’ve been giving out too many ‘yeses’ to my own detriment too.
Thanks for these timely reminders. I hope to attend one of your conferences someday. Until then, keep up the great work.
paula says
Number 4! Wow!
I’ve been traveling, so I’ve missed some of your most recent articles and hadn’t heard you discuss the concept of goals vs. rituals in this precise way before. Incredibly enlightening! Cheers to small steps forward every day! Thank you, as always, for bringing some needed perspective into my life.
PS: I just bought a 2nd copy of your book to give my best friend as a gift. She needs some positive perspective in her life right now following a very recent divorce, and I know your words are exactly what she needs to read. Just figured I’d let you know.
Rain says
Always a gem from you, Marc. You have a way with words my friend and it’s always a joy. I’ve been a member since I discovered M&A in 2014 and I’ve enjoyed being a part of this community ever since. Already looking forward to the next post, but enjoying today’s post immensely. Until we meet again dear friends, luv and blessings…
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for the extra kindness, Rain. 🙂
Sammy says
Most important thing I’ve learned here: Shifting your focus from the big goal and paying more attention to the small daily rituals that propel you towards your goal. I’ve always dreamed of writing a book but I’m still waiting for the right set of circumstances to present themselves before I take action. Sadly, this right moment seems to take forever. I guess it’s time to forget the grand dream of being an author and start a ritual of writing little bits of the book every day. Thanks for the eye-opener.
Jackson Hardin says
This shift from goals to rituals was an epiphany for me too. Was thinking earlier today about how I don’t write anymore and how adding 20 minutes of writing to my morning routine would be a great way to start expanding my written content.
Donna says
Marc and Angel, I’ve been following you for a couple of years and have bought copies of your book to share with my adult children who have both experienced setbacks recently. I am a retired teacher, with a masters degree in guidance and counseling. Your articles are so practical, easy to read, and speak to the heart of such a wide range of personal difficulties. Have you considered writing a program for kids?
I’m seeing such a need for our youth. And also addiction. And also divorce….and on and on.
Thank you thank you.
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for the insightful feedback, Donna. This is in fact something we’ve thought about–focusing on teens and young adults for an upcoming event or program. Perhaps it’s time to act on this idea. Angel and I will discuss it this week.
Carmen in Costa Rica says
Thank you for your wisdom. As I live in Costa Rica it is difficult to receive mail etc in a timely or guaranteed fashion. We do travel to the US and I will try at some point to order your material to an address there.
My main problem, my counselors, is that I am a dilletante. I have many interests and accomplishments and avenues I want to pursue even more so at my old age of 73. To name a few:
1. I paint. My goal is to have a show and sell my paintings.
2. Music – I play violin, viola and piano. Since Imoved here, I haven’t found anywhere or anyone to play with. I do practise piano regularly with the goal of memorizing pieces, a bit of a lonely task again but enjoyable.
3. I am a writer you. My big wish is to write a book, travel articles, and so on. Not much movement in that direction.
4. We need to get out if debt. It seems we take two steps forward and three steps backward. We spend more than we take in, is the simple reason but to our credit we have always mproved in watching our pennies. To make a little extra income, we opened up a one guest room BnB and thoroughly enjoy hosting guests from all over the world. I can also clean up and sell my many instruments. And maybe other items we don’t use anymore.
Living or retiring to CR is costly. Building our beautiful home was way more expensive than we have anticipated. Cost of living is close to American prices. It has been very disappointing. I would say our biggest goal is to reduce or eliminate our debt. To this end we look for loans at lowest rate, making as big payments as we can manage. All our “extra” money goes toward loan payments. We also cut back on food bills.
It’s not been an easy or leisurely retirement.
Any comments are appreviated.
You are beautiful and inspiring young people with incredible insights and gifts of communication and empathy.
God bless
Carmen
Beverly says
Hi Carmen,
I can SO relate to your post! I turned 65 this year. I have so many interests, as well as a need to make income because I cannot fully retire yet and we have debt to pay off. Work takes up so much of my time that my passions get put to the side. And when I have time for one of them, I have difficulty deciding what to focus on. Like you, I write, play music, create art in various ways. And I am building an online business! Let’s stay connected. You can reach me at beverlyccs.com. I am grateful to Marc and Angel for connecting us!
Beverly
Marc Chernoff says
Carmen, we appreciate your kindness. And while I certainly don’t know your whole story, it seems to me that simplifying is the key for you.
You can’t do it all, so the question is, what do you really want to do?
Identify what’s most important to you.
Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.
No more wasted money, no more wasted space, no more wasted time. Much easier said than done, of course, but incredibly powerful.
Besides the art of getting things done, there is the often-forgotten art of leaving things undone. The simplicity and happiness of our lives relies heavily on the elimination of non-essentials.
Perla Milner says
Always thankful for positive energy u send to so many of us!?
Rin says
The one about believing that I have to say “Yes.” I have a hard time telling certain family members no, I’d ignore their text messages and hope they get the picture.
Caitlin says
The thing that resonates with me the most is getting rituals in place. I am guilty of procrastinating because of the magnitude of the goal. I had already gotten to the idea that I needed to break out if some negative patterns & had begun a program for myself if doing one thing differently each day. Making those different things into a ritual will likely make all the difference. Thank you!
Regine White says
The ones that really helped me was the ones about feeling that you need confidence to go to the next step, believing that you have to say yes, and believing that you have enough willpower for situations and environments that are not healthy for the goals or the lifestyle that you want to live. Being African-American kinda mentally you already set limits for yourself, but I always felt like I can be better then things in my environment…but that’s just me trying to feel like I’m better and stronger than a whole community that expects you to be a certain way. It was kind of hard so I did things that I didn’t want to do–I agreed to things that I really didn’t agree with and you know I put myself in a place where I didn’t want to be. So now I am trying to become the woman and the person that I want to be.
I love these articles because they tell me things that I really need to hear. I am grateful for everything that I read from you guys. And I watched the video about goals and rituals too, so 60 days from today I’m going to I’m going to basically check my growth and see where I have came from.
AGadaafi says
Thank you so much for the timely guidance. The information in this post is exactly what I need right now.
Rucha says
Thank you so much! All of these points are things I’ve figured out through hard experience and effort. If I had read your blog before, it would’ve saved me a lot of blood , sweat and tears.
Jane says
Really enjoy reading your writings. It’s my “up and go” kickstart every morning!
Fantastic!
seiji says
Your take on goals vis-a-vis daily rituals resonated with what I am currently working on. I was too focused on the goal that it became an excuse for not taking the first step. I was overwhelmed, which eventually led to procrastination.
Thank you for the well-thought-of articles that you share.
Beverly says
Thanks, Angel and Marc! I was particularly drawn to the message about focusing more on goals. Every day I have work goals, but having the goals doesn’t make the work happen. When I keep thinking about how much I have to do, I don’t feel like doing anything and I lose my joy. But when I come back to simple, reflective practices that inspire my next action, everything changes. I feel joyful about this day. I get my energy back and remember that whatever I accomplish today is just right.
Karen says
I love this comment. What would those reflective practices be? (for example)
Johanna says
Wow, this was really enlightening post. Although many of these points I’ve read about earlier in your past emails and posts, some of them really hit me hard today, like number 3: stop planning and start doing or number 4 about concentrating on rituals not goals — you have told this so many times, but somehow today it made more sense than ever, even when it’s really hard for me to follow that advice!
Thank you so much for these write-ups, I always take time to read them carefully on my spare moments of the day like on my way to work/home on the bus or when I’m waiting for the kids fall to sleep in the evening. These help me to grow and get new insights about my life even though I do not have time to read long books or concentrate for long periods of time at once. So thank you!
ngulube Felix says
Incredibly helpful. Thank you.
Jerry says
Another astonishing post! You guys really make a difference–add sanity to a crazy world and an even crazier US. As a businessman, I can tell you firsthand that looking at things via your unique perspective, lends reason to what we do. Well done!
Ian Schell says
Love it, thank you. Exactly what I needed.
Padmanabhan Markandan says
Everything in the email/post and the way you shared your success story is an inspiration and it is so wonderful to see you both continue the sharing that you do so consistently. God bless.
Paddy
Joel says
Hi Marc,
Brilliant post, as always.
I would like to add “Stop Believing That Things Will Magically Change Overnight.”
Good things take time, better things take more time and the life that we desire takes the most amount of time. Too often we become discouraged and give up on the things that are most important to us because they don’t happen instantly. Somewhere, in the last number of years and as technology continues to advance, we have become impatient to too many things.
Because of this, as we begin to experiment and work at what we want most, at the slightest hiccup or bump in the road, we tend to pack it in proclaiming that we can’t do it or it will never work.
Unfortunately, in these moments, if we only persevered we would’ve broken through and walked away with a deeper understanding of ourselves and whatever it is we were doing.
Patience is one of the most important keys in life and our fast paced society no longer has the time for it. This is itself is ironic because the one thing we all desire (more time) is the one thing that takes the most time to achieve.
Dante says
Excellent post M&A!!! There is so much greatness to unpack, process and implement here, it will require a couple of through re-reads. I must say that alot of the principles you articulate are common sense but not necessarily our COMMON PRACTICE. All of the points resonated with me, so to point any out as far as more relevant than the others would be doing the others importance a disservice. Very timely and well written and articulated as per the usual. Thank you both for this beautiful platform on how to HACK LIFE.
Sofia Mena says
While all these points scarily resonate with me, perhaps the greatest ones for me are 2, 3, and 4.
There are 2 major issues in my life that are caused by going contrary to these points.
The first is a struggle to make (and maintain, though that may be another matter) friends, which is one I have kind of always had. I am an introvert and on top of that, I have always struggled with self-esteem, so I though I needed to have more confidence to approach people and talk to them, and so I assumed I never could. And although I still at times struggle with it, I have recently begun to realize point 2 by taking more initiative to meet and talk to people, even if I feel a little scared inside or unready. As a result, I have met a large group of girls in my area this year and made at least one friend as well as met an amazing guy who I am now dating.
The second is the difficulty/fear I’ve had to continue my education at university and obtain a degree. I dropped out of college a few years ago after one semester only due to depression and anxiety, and since, I have been paralyzed in fear and overthinking. And I think I have the mentality that I can’t do it, that I can’t actually successfully complete university and a degree, and that it’s an insurmountable feat. And perhaps the most frustrating thing is seeing all around me (even if I’m trying not to) everyone getting their degree, and thinking if all these people can do it, and probably not all are as gifted as I am, then why can’t I do it?
And I know deep down that it is probably due to points 3 and 4 (and perhaps also 2), in that I become paralyzed with the “big thinking” of this big goal of transferring to a good four-year university and getting my degree, and I don’t break the goal down into smaller, concretely realizable acts. I focus too much on just the goal, or IDEA, of moving on to a good college and getting my degree, and not enough on the daily activities and RITUALS as you say instead, that I need to do in order to realize my goal.
This article has truly hit the mark, thank you Marc and Angel!
I would love to join your course too, but unfortunately I don’t have a job right now (another goal to apply these points to) and so don’t have the money for it right now.
But I am trying to read your emails/articles every day!