A good morning, and thus a good day, aren’t just experiences that magically happen — they are created consciously.
Most of us are distracted from the get-go every morning. Trivial activities like checking social media, watching TV, and worrying about things we can’t control often set the tone of the day. And that means we waste our most well-rested time on things that don’t matter, while gradually losing touch with the significant, controllable parts of our lives that actually do matter.
We simply forget that the morning hours are enormously important — they form the foundation from which the day is built. We forget that how we choose to spend these hours can be used to predict the kind of days we’re going to have, and ultimately the kind of lives we’re going to live. So if you feel like you’ve been getting a rough start lately, and stumbling through your days with diminished intention and focus, it’s time to consider some shifts as you move through your mornings…
Your morning rituals gradually make a big difference.
Before we get to the rituals, I’d be shocked if you haven’t been told to do these things in the past (I know Angel and I have preached about them numerous times here on the blog). The problem is most of us slack off on the things we need to do for ourselves even though we know better. And Angel and I used to be just as unintentional with our morning hours as anyone else. We used to awake in a hurry and then move through our mornings at the mercy of whatever came up, stumbling into work and errands and client meetings in a fog. It was awful, but it was our morning routine. We didn’t know any different, so we didn’t think we could change things. Thankfully we were wrong.
Angel and I gradually implemented the three morning rituals covered below and everything changed. Our mornings are now solid foundations from which we consistently yield positive results, and we’ve been going strong now for nearly two decades. In addition, we’ve helped hundreds of course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees implement these rituals in their lives too, and many of them have come back to us later to say, “Thank you!” My hope is that YOU find value in them as well.
And please note how I mentioned “gradually” above. If you aren’t doing any of these things right now, start with just the first one, then add the second in a couple weeks, and then the third around May 1…
1. Wash your dishes.
You are eating the most important meal of the day, right? Good.
Now you can leverage your breakfast to strengthen your self-discipline. And self-discipline is a vital skill to be honed. It is the ability to overcome distractions and get the important things done. It involves acting according to what you know is right, instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy or distracted by something else), which typically requires sacrificing immediate ease for what matters most in life.
A lack of self-discipline for most of us is often the result of a lack of focus. In other words, we tell ourselves we are going to do something, but then we don’t. One of the easiest and most effective ways to build and maintain daily self-discipline?
Start small every morning. Very small…
Simply wash your dishes after breakfast.
Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes with your own two hands. It’s just one tiny step forward every morning: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.
Form this ritual one dish at a time, one morning at a time. Once you do this consistently for a few weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then make your bed. Pack yourself a healthy lunch. Start doing a few sit-ups. Meditate for a few minutes. And so forth (more on the latter two — exercise and meditation — below).
Do one of these at a time each morning, and you’ll start to build a healthy ritual of self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done, and finishing what you start.
But again, for the next few weeks, just wash your dishes after breakfast. Mindfully, with a smile.
2. Use exercise to train your body and mind (for 15 minutes or less).
Exercise is the simplest and fastest way to change your life, not only because it strengthens your body, but because it also strengthens your mind. It’s a self-initiated activity that imposes a necessary level of mental and physical effort to fuel growth. And it almost instantaneously instills a positive sense of self-control into your subconscious, even when other circumstances in your life seem chaotic.
In a vast world that is often well beyond your control, exercise becomes a personal space where you are able to train and regain mastery over your world. Only you can move your body. Only you can put one foot in front of the other. Only you get to decide how far you will push yourself.
When you start your day like this — grounded and in control — the wider world is far easier to navigate.
Furthermore, a consistent daily exercise ritual literally changes the physical inner-workings of your brain. In the bestselling book, “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain”, Dr. John Ratey discusses data he collected through years of researching the neurological changes exercise causes in the brain. Exercise physically elevates a specific protein in the brain that Dr. Ratey calls “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” He states, “Exercise is the single most powerful tool you have to optimize your brain function. Aerobic activity has a dramatic effect on adaptation, regulating systems that might be out of balance and optimizing those that are not — it’s an indispensable tool for anyone who wants to reach his or her full potential.”
Angel and I have come to very similar, although less scientific, conclusions on our own too. With over 15 years of experience working one-on-one (or two-on-one) with our course students and coaching clients, we have found that exercise truly is a universal medicine to nearly all human mental ailments. It drastically reduces mild and moderate depression, lowers anxiety, counterbalances the negative effects of being overstressed, and more. And the best part is that exercise is obviously not just a mental workout, but a physical one as well — you’re hitting two birds with one stone.
So if exercise is that wonderful, why am I recommending only 15 minutes of it each morning? Because in the beginning that’s enough without being too much. Starting small is important. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but again, so many of us forget to follow good advice. Start with a morning ritual of exercise that lasts 15 minutes or less. If you feel incredible resistance and fail at 15 minutes, drop it to 10 minutes, or 7 minutes, and then stick to it for at least a full month before increasing the duration again.
3. Establish presence through meditation (for 15 minutes or less).
The same principle of starting small that we just discussed above applies here as well. With that said however, a morning meditation ritual of only 15 minutes is no easy feat for most beginners. During the first several attempts at meditation, most novice meditators tend to find it near impossible to quiet their mind. Because of this, many of us try meditation once or twice and do not see the value in it — it does not immediately instill the same sense of control over that exercise does. But with practice and patience meditation can be far more powerful. And that’s why Angel and I meditate every morning for 15 minutes.
Meditation is indeed a vital morning ritual in our lives, and in the lives of hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with over the years. While it may not as easily instill the level of control that exercise does, meditation provides a deeper level of control which ultimately brings out of us what has been stuck inside — it connects us with our truest selves by allowing us to access all the areas of our mind and body that we are usually distracted and disconnected from.
Details aside, the most basic and practical benefits of meditation are twofold:
- lowers mental stress
- increases mental presence (awareness)
And when we bring a more relaxed presence into our morning hours — into the foundation of our day — it makes everything that happens from there much easier to deal with. Because we take the next step more mindfully — without pent-up resistance — fully aware and accepting of the tenseness in our shoulders, the little bubble of hope in our heart, or maybe even the haze of sadness in the back of our mind. And with this awareness and acceptance we find better solutions, healthier ways to cope, and a general sense that people are friendlier and cats purr louder.
On the contrary, when we are stressed out and distracted in the morning hours, our mind is split and frayed. One part is firmly focused on whatever is pressing in upon us, while the other part is giving minimal attention to whatever tasks need to be done quickly in the meantime.
Let me give you an example (from my own past life) to make things clear. Imagine that you are late for work and you’re rushing around your house in preparation to leave. If a loved one starts telling you something important about what they are going to do today, how much of your attention is going to be focused on what they are telling you? Not much.
But when we become more present — when we gradually establish more awareness and acceptance of the present moment through meditation — we stop being as distracted and preoccupied. In the space that opens for a moment, we can breathe deeply and listen deeply. For a moment, stress slips off our shoulders. And with practice we can learn to have more and more moments like this in our life.
A course student of ours recently wrote (shared with permission):
“Every moment is a new opportunity. The next one is as fresh and full of promise as the thousand before that you missed, and it is completely empty of any judgment whatsoever. Nothing is carried over that you take with you. You don’t have to pass a good-person exam before you enter, it is totally unconditional. It’s as if it is saying… ‘Okay, so you missed me the last 10,000 moments, but look! Here I am again… and again… and again!’ And you are welcomed with open arms.”
Here’s how to establish presence through morning meditation (note that there are many meditation techniques, this is the one Angel and I are presently practicing):
Sit upright in a chair with your feet on the ground and your hands resting comfortably on your lap, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing for 15 minutes (or less in the beginning if 15 minutes feels like too much). The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on the feeling of your abdomen inhaling and exhaling, which will prevent your worried mind from wandering and overthinking. This sounds simple, but again, it’s challenging to do for more than a couple minutes, especially when you’re just starting out with this ritual. And it’s perfectly fine if random thoughts sidetrack you — this is sure to happen, you just need to bring your focus back to your breathing.
Consistency is everything in the long run…
Remember that the three morning rituals above mean nothing if they are not acted upon consistently. One morning of cleaning your dishes, exercising, and meditation by itself won’t cut it. It is the compound effect of simple, seemingly mundane actions over time that leads to life-altering, positive results.
For example, there’s nothing exciting about putting one foot in front of the other every day for weeks, but by doing so, many normal human beings have climbed over 29,000 feet to the top of the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest…
And there is nothing exciting about cleaning dishes, exercising, or sitting quietly in meditation for a short time every morning, but by doing so, Angel and I (and hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with) have drastically better lives.
Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be trained to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. Which is exactly what the three morning rituals in this post allow you to do. If you don’t proactively push yourself in little ways every morning, of course you’ll crumble later on when things don’t go your way…
But you have a choice!
Choose to clean your dishes when it would be easier to leave them in the sink.
Choose to exercise when it would be easier to sleep in.
Choose to meditate when it would be easier to distract yourself with something else.
Prove to yourself, in little ways every morning, that you have the power to take control of your days and your life!
(Note: Angel and I also build tiny, actionable, life-changing daily rituals with our readers in our New York Times bestseller, “Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs”.)
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes it’s your turn to focus on the tiny morning rituals that can help you grow.
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Christian Guswai says
Love your essay as always.
I practice all of them even though not everyday as I don’t have breakfast. I have tea or juice and wash my dishes by myself.
Then light practice plus meditation pretty regularly too. Helps ground me.
David says
Great read thanks
Joseph K Ting Jrll says
I totally agree to what I just shared as a morning ritual. I’m early in recovery from addiction and I find it very helpful in setting the corner stone for my day. Thank you for sending me your email everyday. I’m finding out all very helpful in creating a better daily. Aloha from Hawaii. Malama pono Joseph
Amber Rogers says
Exactly what I needed to know! This has helped me way beyond the norm. God bless you both! Keep making life more interesting and important ?
Jim says
Hi my name is Jim, I clean my kitchen and dishes every morning and I tried to walk within my house one mile 2000 steps if not more daily. Along with daily stretches… I do not meditate but I do pray to my Lord Jesus… And I’ve started the Mediterranean diet also. Trying my best at 61 in February LOL… Triple bypass operations two years ago and I have three stents, but still physically active that’s looking forward to a long life…
Robin says
Thank you providing such insightful ways to make it a great day on PURPOSE!
Carmen Mota says
Great rituals to kick off the start of the day and ultimately have control of my day and life as a whole.
Thank you M&A for your wisdom, insight & practical applications.
Terenna says
Self care is something I struggle with. You’ve broken it down perfectly. A healthy morning challenge for me starting today. Thank you.
Nancy Alt says
Hi, these are great reminders to slow down and get your head and body in the right space to start the day. I always make my bed in the morning as soon as I get out of bed, and wash my dishes. However, I have had periods when I did consistant exercise in the morning—and will agree—when I was doing it–it was always a better start to my day. It gave it alot more energy and I felt great. I am trying to get back in that habit. And bite size pieces is the way to go—I always go all in and then flounder and stop. So going to do this again, but in smaller increments. And meditation, I do believe it is powerful, but could never make it happen–just slow down. So I’m going to try it again for just five minutes a day and build from there. Thanks again for the great life advice! Have a great day.
Donna Steinke says
That is a great post! Thank you for sharing! Donna Steinke, Wis.
Patricia Elana Brooks says
The first two I’ve got down. The exercise doesn’t always come at that time but it’s one of my daily routines. The meditation has yet to come – for me the most difficult.
I like your book references. I think I’ll get Dr. Ratey’s book.
Thank you.
Shelly says
Very helpful and doable. I can see the value and necessity of purposeful activity as I am the poster child for aimless distraction. Thanks for your gentle encouragement and reminders to ground myself everyday.
Jaimee says
I really enjoyed reading your inspiration today. I have been struggling with some physical issues for the past year. I need to focus on positive things, instead of negative all the time. I just wished I’d get some answers, as to why I wake up every morning feeling blah. I plan to implement some of these techniques in the morning. I just started a new job from home. I would like to get up a little earlier and take a small walk with my dog. Then, meditate.
Donna Steinke says
What are you first thoughts in the morning? Would you consider a morning mantra or saying out loud 3 or more things you are grateful for? For me, what I tell myself first thing in the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day, even when in pain due to medical conditions. I thank Jesus for another day, and tell myself I am happy, healthy, wealthy (friends, family, job, etc), and wise. That makes me smile and the body doesn’t know if a smile is for real or not. It believes if you are smiling it is because you’re happy and internally the body follows that directive. I hope this helps!
Melody Mallett says
Thank you for your encouraging, empowering lessons! Just what I needed to read and begin contemplating as a full time caregiver for my 102 year old mom.
Also, here is a little morning affirmation to add to your collection: “Begin small, start promptly.” It helped to get me through my working career when my inbox were to the ceiling… Mm
Micheline says
These sound like a good idea. I already take my coffee mindfully in the morning. I sit and enjoy it quietly as I read inspirational articles such as this one. I relax and ‘turn the rabbits away’ ( don’t follow my thoughts down rabbit holes). I’m not much for breakfast first thing but try to eat as soon as I can. Getting on the dishes is a challenge to try and a simple one to achieve. Thank you.
Yaso says
Wonderful article as always, if we take care of ourselves first and set our minds right in the morning, we can surely pass through the day mindfully with the right attitude. Thank you Marc and Angel!
Linda Steinbaugh says
This essay comes at a great time for me. I am working on getting my life organized and back on track after a long illness. I will not let the after-effects stop me from moving forward. I need to rebuild my self-discipline because, like everyone, I have lots to do.
The three morning rituals have been added to my To-Do list. I’m going to cheat and work on the first two at the same time.
Chris says
Your essay about preforming three simple tasks was the perfect reminder of exactly what I need to be doing at this juncture in my life.
Thank you
Subhash Chand says
Simple and beautiful way to start the morning and day… lots of appreciation.
Kristin says
Thanks for what you do! Lately I have felt like I’m spiraling out of control and have no order or direction in my life. These steps will definitely help me with the chaos that thrives in my anxious mind. It’s also reassuring to know I’m not alone and that even highly successful people struggle with this too. It helps to know to start small. I have a tendency to “over-do and over-think” everything. I feel like Dobby from Harry Potter; punishing myself internally if I don’t finish my mile long to-do list in just a couple hours. Baby steps and positive self talk will help me get a lot further. 🙂
Kelly says
This sounds great but I think I would need to do these items in reverse- meditate, exercise, wash my dishes. Thank you for the article.
Hilary says
It’s an amazing routine!
Among the three, Exercise is what I prioritize the most everyday in the morning, I hardly miss it.
Meditation is actually what I don’t always do, I think it’s a good time to start working on it!!
Lots of thanks man.
Tess Ocampo says
Hi, & good day, I find your article simple but significant, because, more often than not, simple things are taken for granted. I get overwhelmed myself in my To Do’s, very often not being able to carry them out. However, I’d like to share my morning routine, to first and foremost thank God for a new day & asking guidance to carry out the day ahead of me. But maybe I’d also do it in a manner you noted, start simple, (got to undo whatever makes me stressed like doing much more than I can, forgetting I’m not superwoman)…
Thank you for some wisdom.
Hezrone says
I find the essay so helpful
Peter Bowman says
I loved this article and feel really inspired by it, thank you so much. I have just ordered the book Spark! by Dr John J. Ratey. I like a lot the idea to start small, be consistent and build up gradually.