Repression
This morning, as I was relaxing at the water’s edge of Miami Beach, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on a conversation four teenage kids were having on the beach blankets next to me. They were talking about making a positive difference in the world. And it went something like this…
“It’s impossible to make a difference unless you’re a huge corporation or someone with lots of money and power,” one of them said.
“Yeah man,” another replied. “My mom keeps telling me to move mountains—to speak up and stand up for what I believe. But what I say and do doesn’t even get noticed. I just keep answering to ‘the man’ and then I get slapped back in place by him whenever I step out of line.”
“Repression…” another snickered.
I smiled because I know exactly how they feel. When I was their age, I was certain I was being repressed and couldn’t possibly make a difference in the world. And I actually almost got suspended from school once after I openly expressed how repressed I felt in the middle of the principal’s office.
I Have a Dream
Eventually, one of the kids noticed me eavesdropping and smiling. He sat up, looked at me and said, “What? Do you disagree?” As he waited for a response, the other three kids turned around too.
Rather than arguing with them, I stood up, took an old receipt out of my wallet, ripped it into four pieces, and wrote a different word on each piece. Then I crumbled the pieces into little paper balls and handed a different piece to each one of them. The kids looked noticeably confused.
“Look at the word written on the paper I just handed you and don’t show it to anyone else.” The kids followed my instructions and then glared back up at me. “You have two choices,” I told them. “If your word inspired you to make a difference in this world, then hold onto it. If not, give it back to me so I can recycle the paper.” They all returned their words without hesitation.
I sat down on the sand next to the kids’ beach blankets and carefully laid out the four words they had just returned to me, so they could clearly see me combine the words one at a time to create a simple sentence: “I have a dream.”
“Dude, that’s Martin Luther King Jr.,” one of the kids said.
“How did you know that?” I asked.
“Everyone knows Martin Luther King Jr.” the kid snarled. “He has his own national holiday, and we all had to memorize his speech in school last year.”
“Why do you think your teachers had you memorize his speech?” I asked
“I don’t really care!” the kid replied. His three friends shook their heads in agreement. “What does this have to do with us and our situation?”
“Your teachers asked you to memorize those words, just like thousands of teachers around the world have asked students to memorize those words, because they have inspired millions of people, repressed or otherwise, to dream of a better world and take action to make their dreams come true. Do you see where I’m going with this?”
“Man, I know exactly what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work, alright?” the fourth kid said, who hadn’t spoken a word until now. “We’re not going to get all inspired and emotional about something some dude said fifty years ago. Our world is different now. And it’s more screwed up than any us can even begin to imagine, and there’s little you or I can do about it. We’re too small, we’re nobodies!”
Together is How
I smiled again because I once believed and used to say similar things. Then, after holding the smile for a few seconds, I said, “On their own, ‘I’ or ‘have’ or ‘a’ or ‘dream’ are just words. Not very compelling or inspiring. But when you put them together in a certain order, they create a phrase that has been powerful enough to move millions of people to take positive action—action that changed laws, perceptions, and lives. You don’t need to be inspired or emotional to agree with this, do you?”
The four kids just shrugged, but they struggled to appear totally indifferent, so I could tell they were listening intently. “And what’s true for words is also true for people,” I continued. “One person without help from anyone else can’t do much to make a sizable difference in this crazy world—or to overcome all of the various forms of repression that exist today. But when people get together and unite to form something more powerful and meaningful than themselves, the possibilities are endless.
Together is how mountains are moved. Together is how small people create massive, life-changing results.”
Teamwork at its Finest
About an hour after I spoke to those four teenage kids this morning, I grabbed coffee with an old friend, Megan, who has spent the past two decades of her life driving teams of horses that pull carriages for “romantic rides” through downtown Orlando. In conversation, I told her about the kids and what I had discussed with them. She listened curiously and then responded with some incredibly interesting insight. Our conversation went something like this…
“I love your message of teamwork to those kids,” Megan said. “It actually reminds me of working with my horses.”
“What do you mean?” I asked with a smirk.
“Well, something you might not know is that two horses pulling together can pull significantly more than the sum of the same two horses pulling separately.”
“That’s interesting…”
Megan continued, “One single draft horse can pull roughly 8,000 pounds. But when you harness two draft horses on the same load, they don’t just pull twice their maximum load, they can actually pull three times their maximum load, which is roughly 24,000 pounds.”
“So, the sum of the two horses working together actually multiplies each horse’s individual payload power?” I asked.
“Exactly,” Megan said.
“That’s amazing, but how can this ‘extra power’ be explained?”
“Well, in basic scientific terms I suppose you could say it’s easier to keep a body in motion rather than to accelerate a motionless body from rest. The main reason behind this is that lesser force—one horse pulling by itself—means more allowance for friction. Thus, moving a heavy object beyond a high-friction point, to the point where it has momentum, is a lot harder than simply keeping the same heavy object moving once it has momentum. Two horses working together means less friction and more momentum, which ultimately equates to a higher payload power.”
“That makes complete sense,” I said. “You’re bringing me back to my college physics classes. But, I also wonder if there’s a psychological aspect in play for the horses. For example, is it possible that the horses are also more motivated when they get an opportunity to work together, rather than alone?”
Megan paused for a moment and cracked a half-smile. “I’d say your hunch is correct, Marc. Horses are truly pack animals with an active herd instinct. This can manifest itself in a group of horses showing an obvious willingness to do things together for a human being, that they would otherwise hesitate to do by themselves. In essence, you might be able to get a pair of draft horses to attempt to pull a higher gross weight each than you could to convince them to pull alone. A team of horses is incredibly strong and it truly is a magnificent feat to witness when they are pulling a carriage full of people all over town. It’s teamwork at its finest! And, I think, there’s an obvious lesson here for all of us.”
Afterthoughts & Questions
Why did I just share these stories with you?
Because doing so helps remind me.
And, I know you need a reminder sometimes too.
Sometimes we all need to be reminded of the power and beauty of working together.
As Helen Keller so profoundly said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” There is immense power between us when we combine forces to work toward a common goal. Teamwork is everything!
All together… we are infinite!
. . .
If you’re feeling up to it, I’d love to know what you think of this essay.
What resonated?
What’s on your mind right now?
Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
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Gwen Gannes says
Hi Marc & Angel,
It’s stories like the ones you’ve shared here today that keep me coming back to your live events and reading your blog and books. I think we all “know” a lot, but you tell stories that give me the perspective I need to take clear action.
With that said, I really like how you got involved with those teenage kids. Most people wouldn’t say such things to others, due to one fear or another, but you just get your message across. And then I love how you connect the dots to your next conversation with your friend about her horses.
Regarding the message, I completely agree today too. Those who accept that they are nobody become nobody, and those who accept that they are somebody become the somebody who has a big impact on how some system or subsystem functions. Teamwork really is everything!
Jim says
I can really identify with two horses pulling three times as much as one horse by itself. I have ADHD and have difficulty getting started. When someone is with me and gets me started I can get tremendous amounts of work done.
Jason says
What a wonderful way to savor daybreak by reading these inspiring words! And the real kicker is that I read a couple pages of your book just before I found this essay in my inbox. Thank you so much for who you to do to open the eyes and minds of others. We are fortunate to have the toolsof the modern age) to be able to become agents of much needed change.
The world of tomorrow is going to be so much different than the one we grew up in. As a parent, I try to pass on what I believe will be of enduring value. But I also realize that realities are rapidly changing, and what we consider wise and prudent might not appear so to our kids as they become young adults. What will remain will be the unchanging principles of respect for life, compassion, love, and the realization that we are moving towards a shared destiny.
Martha says
Thanks for sharing this inspirational essay, Marc! The stories deeply resonate with me right now. I wish I had run into you when I was in high school, but I’m glad I can follow your site and be a student in your Getting Back to Happy course at 37. The work you and Angel do has been very encouraging and has changed my life a lot over the past year. Thank you.
Seneca says
This is an amazing post…
I felt just like the kids in your post. I, too, learned about MLK and his speeches back in high school. I, too, had a dream of changing the world. And as of late, this dream has been buckling under the weight of reality.
But, guess what! Your post has inspired me; it’s no longer “had a dream” but “still have”. Thank you Marc and Angel, truly.
Asiyah Tierra Monique says
The essay was great and reminded me that I can’t do it all by myself, and that with a team I can get much more done. Teamwork makes the dream work and I have to believe in myself more and not be scared to let people in in.
Martha says
Hi Marc,
You and Angel are such a positive force in our world. Thanks for the all the help you’re giving to everyone. I always read and save yours and Angel’s emails.
While reading your story I started thinking about our new Science of Spirituality Meditation Center we just built in Lisle, IL. I have been meditating for 47 years now and I couldn’t believe how spiritually charged the Center was when we all meditate together. There is such a peaceful atmosphere because everyone is there to focus on developing spiritualy and become consciously aware of who they really are. There is definitely strength in numbers. It’s supercharged!
Linda says
So true. Several years ago my best friend was battling stage 3+ breast cancer. She came to me because she noticed there were very few male patterned chemo pillows. Could I make some? So I started and realized what I could make would make no impact. I put a note in our church bulletin, 14 women showed up, Wrangler donated fabric from their shirt line and we got to work. Now, 10 years later, we make pillows for the Cancer Center and Hospice, adult bibs for nursing homes pillow cases and pillows for Brenner’s Children’s Hospital, bibs, burp cloths and blankets for women who have nothing. We work strictly on monetary donations and money shows up just when we need it. Ironically, I’ll be making a chemo pillow for my husband because he’s just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It’s come full circle. We’ve been there for each other through hard times and bad. Now, they’re there for me. It’s a great group. One woman drives 22miles because she said we’re such a happy group. There’s so much more to this group, but one could do so little but as a group we can do so much together. That’s the key—together!
Rosh says
YES!!! This is everything! I love anything Martin Luther King Jr., Marc and Angel, and teamwork – this is the perfect mashup! ? Sharing with my teams today!
Jodie Tuckwell says
Amazing the difference we can create together …
I loved your message … the article and your message are definitely what l needed today .. thank you x
Shelley Lagasse says
Togetherness.
Like relationships. I can’t “do this relationship alone,” I need my partner.
If I trip and you are beside me, I foresee a 50% chance you might catch me from falling.
Alone, I would fall. No foreseeable rescue.
Carrying the weight of the world, we can all give someone else that 50% chance at whatever it is they are in need of.
If we don’t offer up our hands, the world works alone and we may fall.
It’s like being at a function, the band is playing. There’s a dance floor, but no ones dancing. Then, one couple dares to “not care who’s watching,” proves their devoted love to each other and they get up and dance.
Before you know it, that encouraged others to also get up and dance.
In this life, we don’t succeed without each other, some how. Some way.
Thanks again for spinning the cogwheels in my mind and making me think.
Angela says
Wow the exact words I needed to hear this morning. I wasn’t having a good morning because my daughter needed a ride to her first day of work but she hadn’t told me where or until what time she was getting off. I tried to tell her that my schedule and hers wasn’t going to work so if we could try and figure it out so that we could be there for each other. Of coarse she blew up and acted as if I was just stopping her from working and I said no I just wanted us to be on the same page. Well she ended up getting a ride to her work and I’m here having all kinds of emotions running through me first feeling bad for not taking her second asking myself why didn’t I just help her out. As you mentioned the words by Helen Keller working together as a team is better because a person working alone can do so little but when working together alot can be accomplished. So thank you thank you thank you for inspiring me and now I need to apologize to my daughter for my wrong doing? I love all your stories?
Two sense says
Pardon me for throwing in some of my cents here… Angela, even if you did the wrong thing, nobody has the right to blow up at you, for any reason.
I don’t profess to know a lot, but just from your comment there it sounds like she’s throwing tantrums, and you won’t pull her up for this inappropriate behaviour. Forgetting you for a minute and the way she’s treated you – but for her sake, don’t you think it’s better for her if she gets pulled up now by someone who loves her unconditionally, so she doesn’t do this to other important people in her life, and turn relationships toxic?
If I were you, I would be confrontating her with her behaviour, not apologising for wanting to organise your day.
It’s perfectly reasonable and usually what considerate adults who care about one another do… regardless of the reasons, there’s never a good reason to treat someone else badly.
All the best
Chuks Moses J says
Now I know I can’t really do it alone, I need a mate to enhance great success.
Thank you, Marc, for such a life changing essay. Your essays have been thus inspiring. Keep the good work, more grace.
Sherri says
Great reminder to Be the Change you want to see. Thank you!
Jacqueline says
We can all make a difference, i have learnt even small things can be enough, i think we are led to believe it always has to be big, better more impressive but thats not true, every little act kindness helps,
love Jacqueline xxx
Maria says
Thank you for your continuous wisdom that resonates from within.
I look forward to reading your words and inspiring stories daily. I pass them onto my husband as he is my team player in life.
Soonh Mangi says
Nice story! Keep it up!
Leigh says
I love your story and is truly inspiring! However, even when trying to work as a team, there is always ONE person who refuses to work together. He/she would rather sit in the corner and not be a team player. Despite all your efforts to show what the end result would be or to include him/her in the process, still would rather be alone. What do you do?
Judy says
Hi Leigh, I just had to comment on your reply. Years ago my employer sponsored a teamwork seminar which included a task where the attendees were divided into four groups and each group was tasked with finding consensus around whatever their goal was. The groups were then re-mingled and again tasked with finding consensus. This happened four times and all four times the group with one certain individual in it could not reach consensus and all other groups could. Knowing that employee it wasn’t a surprise but I’ve often thought about that and asked the same question, what do you do? If someone doesn’t want to be part of the “team”, should we allow them to work alone and find tasks accordingly? I guess part of it would depend on what your goal is and how important is it to include them on the team? Thought provoking question.