6 Ways to Stop Jealousy from Breaking Your Heart

6 Ways to Stop Jealousy from Breaking Your Heart

“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy.  For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex.  Yippee.”
―J.R. Ward

Truth be told, sometimes we have to let go of what’s killing us, even if it’s killing us to let go.  And jealousy is one of these things we must let go, no matter how hard it is.

Because jealousy is a disease; love is a healthy condition.  The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy – when in fact, they are completely incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.

Excessive jealousy doesn’t tell someone how much you love them; it tells them how much you dislike yourself.  And no amount of love, or promises, or proof from them will ever be enough to make you feel better.  For those broken pieces you carry, are pieces you must mend for yourself.  Happiness is an inside job.  Deep down you know this is true.

If you don’t address your jealousy, it can lead to all kinds of frustration and unhappiness.  It starts small and spreads like a disease.  That’s why it’s so important to address it and overcome it in your relationships ASAP, before things get worse and completely out of control. [Read more…]

10 Things Happy People Never Do Again

10 Things Happy People Never Do Again

“Happiness is not a goal; it’s the by-product of a life well lived.”
―Eleanor Roosevelt

We all make mistakes in life, but the people who learn and grow from their mistakes are the happiest ones in the end.

And that’s precisely what we discuss in today’s video…

Video Blog Post:

10 Things Happy People Never Do Again (video transcript):

Life is change.  Everyone has gone through something that has changed them in a way that prevents them from being the same person they once were.  But as my grandmother always told me, this is a very good thing.  As long as you keep learning and stretching yourself, change is growth.

Sometimes you have to accept the fact that things will never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.

Over the past decade, Angel and I have helped thousands of coaching clients and blog subscribers (subscribe here) get their lives back on track.  In the process of doing so, we have discovered that the people who have the greatest potential for renewed happiness seem to have specific “aha” moments that totally change the trajectory of their thoughts and behaviors.  Once this “aha” light bulb goes off in their minds, they awaken to a new reality that motivates them to never go back to their old way of doing things.

In short, these “aha” moments mean they got it.  Whatever it was they were doing or thinking that was holding them back, is now a lesson learned and a thing of the past.

Although life has many important lessons to teach us, Angel and I have observed and studied ten specific gateways – or “aha’s” – of learning that the happiest people go through, never to return again.

Happy people never again…

  1. Try to be anyone other than who they are. – In everything you do, you must ask, “Why am I doing this?  Is this helping me grow?  Does it represent who I am and who I hope to become?”  Truth be told, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. [Read more…]

4 Things You Must Give Up to Move Forward

4 Things You Must Give Up to Move Forward

“When things go wrong, don’t go with them.”
―Elvis Presley

Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak or wrong in any way.  Sometimes it simply means you’re strong enough and smart enough to let go and move forward with your life.

And that’s precisely what we discuss in today’s video blog…

Video Blog Post:

Give Up to Move Forward (video transcript):

1.  First and foremost, give up the excuses you keep reciting to yourself.

Because all the excuses and explanations in the world won’t do you any good.  They won’t add any value to your life or improve the quality of it by even the slightest margin.  To fulfill your calling and get where you wish to go in life requires more than just thinking and talking.  These feats require focused and sustained action.  And the good news is, you’re perfectly capable of taking whatever action is necessary.  You just have to choose to actually do it.

No one else can succeed for you on your behalf.  The life you live is the life you build for yourself.  There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.  Now is the moment to actually step forward.

Sooner or later, one way or the other, you will come to realize that it’s not what you lose along the way that counts; it’s what you do with what you still have.  When you let go of the past, forgive what needs forgiving, and move forward, you in no way change the past, you change the future. [Read more…]

6 Questions that Will Save Your Relationships

6 Questions that Will Save Your Relationships

When you don’t ask sincere questions and talk it out, there’s a lot of important stuff that ends up never getting said.

Video Blog Post:

6 Questions (video transcript):

“Hey, what’s going on?” Marc asked.

“Not much,” I said.  “And how was your day?”

“It was OK,” Marc said…

And just like that our conversation would be over.  For the longest time, this is exactly how Marc and I initiated conversations with each other at the end of long workdays.

Sure, we greeted each other and asked a couple questions, but they weren’t the right questions.  They were meaningless inquires that were stale and thoughtless.  And, not surprisingly, our conversations went nowhere.  Which, in time, ended up hurting our relationship.

Thankfully, before it was too late, we learned to communicate more effectively.  We learned that if we really wanted to deepen our relationship – if we really cared to know what’s going on in each other’s heads and hearts – we needed to ask better questions, and then really listen to each other’s answers.

Specifically, we learned that we needed to ask questions that carry this fundamental message:  “I’m not just checking the box here.  I’m asking you because I really care how you feel and what you have to say.  I really want to know YOU.”

So today, we want to help you ask questions that will save your relationships [Read more…]

6 Strong Signs it’s Time to Let Go

6 Strong Signs it’s Time to Let Go

You will never achieve what you are capable of if you are
too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.

Many people believe holding on and hanging in there, infinitely, are signs of incredible strength.  But there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then to actually do it.

In today’s video blog post we’re going to take a look at some signs it might be time to let go.

Video Blog Post:

Signs it’s Time to Let Go (video transcript):

1.  Someone constantly expects you to be someone you’re not.

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences.  So be cordial, but don’t completely change who you are for someone else simply because it’s what THEY want, or because it’s what THEY think is best for you.

If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back.  It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be someone else.  It’s easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where somebody else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be. [Read more…]