The truth does not disappear when it is forgotten or ignored.
You know how you can hear something a hundred times in a hundred different ways before it finally gets through to you? The ten truths about life discussed here fall firmly into that category — timeless lessons most of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of since, but for whatever reason we haven’t fully grasped them yet.
This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…
1. The average human life is relatively short.
We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.
Let that reminder be your wake-up call to live your life today! Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive. And in life you can be comfortable or courageous, but not both at once. So be bold, be courageous… be scared to death, and then give yourself a chance to take the next step anyway.
2. To a great extent, you live the life you create for yourself.
Your life is yours alone. Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you. They can walk with you, but not in your shoes. So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to switch paths or pave a new one when it makes sense.
Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t. Be productive and patient. And realize that patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.
Yes, at the end of the day this is your life, and to a great extent it’s made up of your little recurring habits and choices. May your daily actions speak louder than your words. May your life preach louder than your lips. May your success be your noise in the end.
3. Being busy does not mean being productive.
Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect. Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy all the time. We simply don’t know how to set boundaries, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.
Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days. Just take a quick look around. Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin. Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time. They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, looking at their phones, creating TikToks, etc. They barely have enough free time for exercise and they rarely get enough sleep. Yet, text messages, emails, and social media updates are blasting out of their smart phones like rockets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations. Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance. But it’s all an illusion. They’re like hamsters running on a wheel.
Though being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term. We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful life.
4. Some kind of failure always occurs before success.
Most mistakes are unavoidable. Learn to forgive yourself. It’s not a problem to make them; it’s only a problem if you never learn from them.
If you’re too afraid of failure, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful. The solution to this problem is making friends with failure. You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner? The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. Behind every great piece of art there are dozens of failed attempts to make it, but these attempts are simply never shown to us.
Bottom line: Just because it’s not happening now, doesn’t mean it never will. Learning the way on the way is key. Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. (Read “The Success Principles”.)
5. Thinking and doing are two very different things.
Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.
You are what you do, not what you say you will do. Knowledge is basically useless without action. Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals. Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage and determination to build your daily life around your answer.
And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you will likely be waiting the rest of your life.
6. You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive.
Life gets much easier when you learn to accept the apologies you never received. The key is find some level of peace with every experience — positive or negative. In a way, it’s like taking a step back, letting go a little, and navigating each life experience with a open mind. It’s realizing that grudges from the past are a perfect waste of today’s growth and potential, and that holding one is like letting unwanted company live rent-free in your head.
Ultimately, forgiveness is a promise — one you want to keep. When you forgive you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self. It has nothing to do with freeing a past criminal of his or her crime, and everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.
7. Some people are simply the wrong match for you.
You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep bringing you down. You shouldn’t force connections with people who constantly make you feel less than worthy.
If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure every time you’re with them, for whatever reason, they’re probably not close friend material. If they make you feel like you can’t be yourself, or if they make you “less than” in any way, don’t pursue a daily connection with them. If you feel emotionally drained after hanging out with them or get a small hit of anxiety when you are reminded of them, listen to your intuition. You don’t have to exile them from your life, but you can give yourself space.
Set boundaries. Make yourself a priority. There are so many “right people” for you — those who energize you and inspire you to be your best self. It makes no sense to constantly force it with people who are the wrong match for you. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
8. It’s not other people’s job to love and respect you, it’s yours.
It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. You really have to love and respect yourself to get anything done in the long run. So make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth, even if they don’t.
Today, let someone love you just the way you are — as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as incomplete as you think you are. Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.
9. What you own is not who YOU are.
Stuff really is just stuff, and it has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person. Most of us can make a great life with much less than we think we need. That’s a valuable reminder, especially in a hugely consumer-driven culture that focuses more on material things than meaningful connections and experiences.
To paraphrase Terence McKenna, you have to create your own culture. Don’t watch too much TV or YouTube, don’t read every fashion tip online, and don’t consume too much of the evening news. Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences. The space and time you are occupying at this very moment is LIFE, and if you’re worrying about Kim Kardashian or Lebron James or some other famous face, then you are disempowered. You’re giving your life away to marketing and media trickery, which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to dress a certain way, look a certain way, and be a certain way. This is tragic, this kind of thinking. It’s all just Hollywood brainwashing. What is real is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, your plans, your fears, etc.
Too often we’re told that we’re not important, we’re just peripheral to what is. “Get a degree, get a job, get a car, get a house, and keep on getting.” And it’s sad, because someday you’ll wake up and realize you’ve been tricked. And all you’ll want then is to reclaim your mind by getting it out of the hands of the brainwashers who want to turn you into a drone that buys everything that isn’t needed to impress everyone that isn’t important.
10. Everything changes, every day.
Embrace change, and realize it happens and it can be managed. It won’t always be easy at first, but in the end it will be worth it. Acceptance is the first step forward.
What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow. You never know. Things change, often spontaneously. People and circumstances come and go. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day. It’s likely happening to someone relatively nearby right now.
Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives. A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth. Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event. And these events are always happening.
However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So when life is good, enjoy it. Don’t go looking for something better every second. Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have while they have it.
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to forgive yourself if you’ve recently mishandled or forgotten one or more of the points above. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, for the times you lacked clarity, for the missteps that created needless stress. Forgive yourself now, for being human. These are all vital lessons, and what matters most right now is your willingness to start growing from them.
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Finally, if you have not done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Jay says
Thank you as always. This one hit home with me and I am in this very situation of an earth rattling event that all changed everything in the matter of seconds. I have taken every word to heart you have wrote here, and I think this for myself speaking might be one of the most powerful articles I’ve read from you guys. Thank you again.
Jeanne Barrett says
I want to thank you for saying things we all think. I look forward to your emails each day. Thank you again
Angela says
Thank you. Needed to hear this.
June Jackson says
Thank You Lots of these Articles relate to me
At age 76 I am still learning and growing
With your help .
Olga says
As always, thank you so much for an enlightening read. Your emails and posts always arrive in my inbox when I need them most. I continue to admire what you two stand for. Above all, this post reminded me that I have a choice. Only I can choose to change my life. Only I can LIVE my life moment to moment. In the chaos of the daily grind I often forget to choose MYSELF.
And this post as a whole reminded me of this quote from your 1000 Things book, which I love and have in my phone’s notes:
“You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when. You can only decide how you are going to live, right now. Every day is a new chance to choose. Choose to change your perspective. Choose to flip the switch in your mind from negative to positive. Choose to turn on the light and stop fretting about with insecurity and doubt. Choose to do work that you are proud of. Choose to see the best in others, and to show your best to others. Choose to truly LIVE, today!”
Angel says
Amen!! I couldn’t have said it better!!
LisaMarie says
This essay resonated so much with me that I took notes!! I wish I could have the entire thing printed on a blanket or a t-shirt! Your ability to get to the heart of matters is really a gift, and I can’t wait for your next piece.
Ceil says
Forgiving myself is one that I think I feel most enlightened by. I often blame myself for things that happened. I’m not a grudge holder, and have no intentions of feeling that way! I have no problem forgiving others, I do however turn things inward and often blame myself vs. another person(s) misgivings. I find this difficult to deal with but know I must try harder to accomplish it in order to move on!! Thank you so much for all you both do!
Ana says
Wanted to summarize with this quote:
Your Life is a Symphony and You are the Conductor
Thank you Marc and Angel for this beautiful article.
Have a blessed day!
Dalia Diaz says
Like most of your articles this one really resonated with me, reminding me that acknowledging my humanness is the first step to experiencing completeness. And how true it is that we tend to forget this simple fact.
As I was reading, I was reflecting on how so much of information floods us that ultimately reinforce what we already know innately, but have somehow forgotten. What causes it? Perhaps denial of our humanness. Perhaps excessive busyness. Perhaps succumbing to consumerist and competitive herd responses.
In any case, I appreciate these vital reminders. Loved reading. Sharing.
Ruth says
What resonates with me most today about this article is acceptance of what you fail at and keep trying to actually face up to them and not ignoring them or have the will to change them so you end up right back were you started with no change. And also not associating with people who make you anxious or uncomfortable. But not feeling awful in yrself thst Yr being horrible. Believe Yr own judgement but dint be guilty about it . And not getting angry about it. But try to admit and embrace it if you let yr anger and frustration get the better of upu which i do all the time you know nothing will change. Don’t try to make people like you life doesn’t work like that that but strive to change any anger or horrible thoughts about the people who don’t like you and walk away from it.
Stefano Ganddini says
These are all excellent life-changing truths that I have slowly come to appreciate in the last few years as I entered my 60’s. The only thing I would add is this: everything is subjective. When you realize that everyone’s world is based on perceptions, and that you have the power to change your own perception, then your life can flip upside down. By changing your perspective, you can always find something good out in any situation, no matter how “bad” it may seem on the surface. Every experience is a learning experience, if you choose to make it one. Look for the silver lining, and you will find it.
John H says
As always, another fantastic article- #3 and 5 are the big ones for me. I am sad to admit right now that I am busy but not productive- I just came off a two -week holiday break so I have been busy looking at emails and not doing anything productive for my business, but that will change next week. Number 5 also resonates with me, as thinking and doing are two different things but they are not necessarily separate from each other, you need to do the first thoroughly before you do the second.
Arlene says
Today’s post resonates with me on so many levels. I like these statements ” May your daily actions speak louder than your words. May your life preach louder than your lips.”
I’m working on forgiving myself for having gotten stuck in a non-productive pattern and reminding myself every day, starting now, provides an opportunity to change.
Thanks Marc and Angel, for your meaningful work.
Minesh says
You are my favourite LPS (life positioning System), whenever I feel strayed I find a right pathway direction in your posts, like this one.
This post is a great reminder that life in itself much more than a lot of unnecessary distractions.
Thanks, Marc and Angel
eva andrew says
There were a few that truly resonated with me…
a. Just because it’s not happening now, doesn’t mean it never will.
b. Some people are simply the wrong match for you. I recently let go of a 30 year friendship because I realized just that. It wasn’t easy but as the days pass, I feel more and more at peace.
c. You are what you do and not what you say you will do. Lately I’ve been noticing so many people doing exactly that…all talk but no action…and I vow not to be one of them.
Thank you for your wisdom…I’m 71 and still learning.
Erika says
Thank you for this post. It’s truly inspiring and connects with me on a deeper level than most. Loved #2. It hit me hard to me as I’m still trying to find the path that I am destined to walk on. It’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder I want to climb. I’m in that situation right now with a company that I’m not sure I want to pursue long term. The growth and excitement just isn’t there.
Thank you. I’m saving this post for future reference.
Erika
Lynda Gregory says
I’m 70 years young and I’m still learning too This has my name on it in so many ways Thank you so much for your insight and your inspiration Waiting for your next piece
Shubhangi says
Thank you Angel and Marc, very inspiring and motivating..great reminder!
J says
Thank you for this article. It’s good to be reminded of things sometimes, especially the painfully obvious ones. I really love how your articles discuss self-forgiveness just as much as it does to forgive others. That’s important in life, cause yes, we all do crazy, silly, stupid, messy things sometimes, and while seeking to make it right with any other parties involved, its also good to seek to treat yourself with kindness and let the past go
Mary says
This really resonated with me, as my younger cousin just died from a car accident this past week. We don’t have that much time and I do need to start moving my butt on some things, but also forgive myself when I inevitably make mistakes along the way. You are right that the hardest person to forgive can often be ourselves.
Yeboah Gladys says
Sometimes I feel like God send you messages to send it to me
You article always arrives on time
And am grateful.
Gretchen says
I have read and loved your wisdom for years now – and just wanted to say that I hope you keep writing the posts by yourself. Another group that I followed was right at the top of my list with you – but they recently made some changes and now their words sound a little hollow. I’m assuming AI is now writing their posts, prompted by their ideas. I can’t tell you how disappointing that is.
We need humans to continue being humans. I use AI for my work every day and there’s a place for it, but I bet you to continue writing your own posts. Forever. We need you.
Mary Andersen says
#7 really resonates with me. I grew up in an abusive home, married into another and left that one twenty years ago. It has taken me years to recognize that the best me is the one that I do not edit based on the people I know. I am 71 and want to be “out there.” Plenty of people do get me and that makes life easy and interesting. I just broke up with a college friend as I realized that I never felt good with her company. Rather I felt beat up after our meet ups with birding and archaeology interest groups. Then, I realized that I had not had an occasion where it was just us, but always with other people, for years. I do not mourn her and have been at peace, so it was a friendship that likely ran its course.
Dr. Mahasweta Mukherjee says
Thank you so much for this uplifting post ! lt helped me feel a bit better this morning, as l was feeling down in the dumps for the last one week.
l will look forward to your next wonderful post, as l always do .
Lou says
Wow there you go again – they all hit me hard, but number 6 really hit me because I’m actually struggling with that one right now.
Scott Siwicki says
10 valuable points to live by.
I think of a friendship, that no matter what I did, I felt drained being with this person.
So many people in my life judged me by what I have. Nice vehicle etc.
Everything changes; so true. After my stroke; and losing a good paying job, and good health; I certainly have experienced much change.
And those in my life that value me for who I am. Are still a part of the new me; in my constantly evolving life.