You have come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things today.
For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather told me he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”
That was a huge wake-up call for me — one that has served me well for over two decades now.
And here are eight wake-up calls for you to reflect on today — some important lessons worth learning and living by, before it’s too late:
1. You might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”
About 15 years ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident on the way to work. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.
I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. There might not be a tomorrow. Today is the day to express your love and admiration. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
2. Your judgments of others are often inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is. When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your own limited perspective.
Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy. Many people you think have it easy have worked their tail off to achieve their status. Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions. Many people who appear to be too old and uncool were once every bit as young, hip, and inexperienced as you are right now.
3. Not trying is why most people fail in life.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about the most, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt the worst. Trying — truly trying — always leads to some level of success, regardless of the outcome. Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time. Every outcome, good or bad, is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser over time.
So keep reminding yourself that in the end there’s only one thing that makes a goal or dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. Because the results you achieve in life are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently!
Yes, your life will get better when YOU get better. Start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day by building positive daily habits and sticking to them. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.
4. Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity. It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.
Patience is the realization that the quality of your life in the long run is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with today. Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you gradually work hard for the dreams and goals that matter most to you.
5. Most of us don’t need to buy anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences, and meaningful work are the staples of a happy life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want.
And at a certain point, the excessive material objects you buy end up hurting the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have? (Read “Soulful Simplicity”.)
6. You aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else.
All humans are imperfect. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard. We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes. Yes, sometimes the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.
But that’s honestly the worst of it — we all have our moments. Most of the time we are remarkable! So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the remarkable moments either.
7. All the little things make a big difference in the end.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there — the blood, sweat, and tears — the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end — every step, every regret, every decision, and every little affliction.
Yes, the seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent laughing and socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing down your thoughts on social media posts no one ever read. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and Twitter threads and fashion tips and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are…
All of this has strengthened you! All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
Truth be told, you’ve been broken down dozens of times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you have come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!
8. Excuses are mostly just lies.
Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? Because you’re not good enough, or you’ve already missed your chance, or it’s just not in the cards for you. You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t…
- “Maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur and freelance writer because he has no kids.”
- “Maybe she’s way fitter than I am because she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a more supportive spouse, or doesn’t have bad knees.”
OK fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway. Angel and I have a family, and have coped with significant loss in our lives, and still managed to make meaningful progress in our lives. And just as we’ve turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who’ve done the same. Through 15 years of work with our coaching clients and live event attendees, we’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year olds starting healthy families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth. And stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve incredible outcomes.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. NOW is the moment to actually step forward!
It’s your turn…
Today, I sincerely hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Evelyn Serafin says
Your post is an affirmation of my life in 69 years. Great summary of some key lessons I’ve learned along the way. Thank you so much!
Dr. Ursula Jones says
Reading this post helped me to reflect more on what truly matters most in life. Although I’m 41 years old, I still feel in my spirit as though I’m 16. I have so much more learning and growing to do.
Gary says
Awesome work you two ! Thank you.
Ginela says
Hi Marc and Angel,
I’ve been a follower for more than a decade now. I was still in college when I first learned about your website (it was only just starting then), and now I am a 30-something single mom of 2. I’ve been a ‘silent’ follower, never commenting on your posts but today felt like I should.
If I may just say: Marc, the growth in life that you show through your writings has been exponential. More grounded than ever and immensely powerful. I was blown away by this post. Especially #6.
I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you for doing what you do. For never giving up on the website.
Many times over the years I have used your website as a guide traversing life, as an anchor to hold on to when I felt lost and lonely (I still love and hold on to Jesus, but I was praying for guidance and it let me to your posts mostly), and lastly as a friend who shares the same ideals, values and who truly understand that the life lessons above can only be learned through conquering afflictions.
I am struggling with so many things and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, but today I woke up with this post and read it and it made me remember all the things I’ve been through whilst relying on your posts for support. I was alone, but never felt lonely.
I am grateful that you and Angel have reached more people and have become life guides brimming with wisdom, compassion, strength and love.
Please continue doing what you do. You are helping far more than you know.
Love you guys. Thank you for the well wishes in every post, thank you for everything in this post. I love them.
Warmly,
Ginela
David Lindberg says
I’m almost 80 and I agree with everything you say, especially comments about missed moments of love. My wife of 53 years together is gone. We had a wonderful life together. I mostly regret being more expressive about “I love you” moments. She died rapidly of cancer and I was so caught up in caring for her I never told her how much I appreciated our lives together. I am proud of the fact I gave her permission to go and held her hand while she slipped away.
Tammy says
So sorry for your loss David. Your words made me cry. I lost my dad 2 years ago and my mum and dad were together since they were 16. He died at the age of 77. My mum cared for him like you cared for your wife. You are from a generation when people truly cared and loved one another so sincerely and I admire that so much. There’s not enough love today that is genuine.
William Tilton says
Thanks guy’s. We’re having one of those days over here…
I’m 66 and would think I’d have this figured out. However as we journey together I find I’m still an infant with baggage. Thanks for your site. Bill T
Tammy says
Same! I’m 56.
Joyce Schlachter says
Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom. Everything you write has a profound affect on me. As I read “8 Little Wake Up Calls” today I felt a soul connection-the truth in your words awakens my spirit.
Kristina says
It’s always good to remember some things we all know, but so often seem to forget. You are doing a wonderful job, thank you.
Mary E. Andersen says
Oh my goodness, while sipping my tea…I got a really great wake up call from coming across your site, I am so blessed even at 63 I have heard, read or known these words of wisdom but, putting them into play every minute of every day we must focus on them. They must be in our core. I Thank You for opening my eyes even further. Looking forward to more insight. Have a blessed and beautiful day, everyday. So Grateful. -Mary
M says
Awesome wake-up calls. Sometimes hard to face the mistakes and regrets of the past. Lack of following my dreams, lack of following opportunities lay heavy on the mind. In my 7th decade of life it is even more apparent. It requires a different direction. I am more inclined to now stick with a compelling thought and not question it. Asking for guidance and help even from our inner self is better than trying to succeed on our own whims. I think back on all the troubles and realize I always made out okay in the end. But had I been more focused things would have been even better. Time has a way of catching up with you. And things become not so important anymore, that helps with getting real. Each day I learn new things and that keeps me young at heart. A purpose in life gives one a reason to survive.
Kim says
Thank you both so much for your timely emails, they truly are a gift. Not only do I feel like I’m listening to a dear friend giving much needed advice but I also love the reader comments which always resonate with me. Thank you and much love to you all.
Sherry says
All of your posts have been such a true blessing in my life! Thank you both so much for helping me through some pretty tough times. My husband passed away recently and was only in his 40’s. I was angry and annoyed with him at the time and he passed away without knowing how much I truly loved him. My daughter has deep regrets pertaining to the same thing. While I was able to forgive myself for not letting him know how much he was loved, my daughter has become very bitter and angry because she rarely expressed her love and appreciation to him. She is unable to heal from those “regrets”. I will share your post with her and pray that they can help her as much as they have helped me. Thank you again for all of your healing words filled with such wisdom!
Leona Solomon says
All 8 points hit the nail on the head. I know #1 very well. Kissed my husband & said “I love you” one night almost 10 yrs ago. Next morning he was gone. It was crazy hard, but I’m thankful for family, good friends & faith…i’ve made it through. Life is short, so we have to learn to have more Love & Respect for people & maybe our world could become a better place. Thank you for your words here.
nathalie cote says
Remarkable!
Maribarbara says
I love your organization. I don’t visit often enough but when I do I feel validated and hopeful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Denise says
I look forward to your stories and insight. It gives me hope and a good feeling. My obstacles have been many but I do know that the power of generating positive thinking/mindset has made all the difference each day of my life. Reading your posts reminds me of my ability to be the best I can be each day. Thanks-Denise
Rika Mitchell says
Another great read, Marc and Angel! No. 7 truly resonated with me. What we do every day are small and inconsequential things but at the end, they ADD UP, don’t they? We all make baby steps and we should never think that those steps are useless. They are steps to lead us something great or significant in a year or two. We shall trust the process!!
Robin says
I enjoy and appreciate your posts very much!
Thank You!! ??
Quanisha says
Thank you so much for the inspiration on today. Your post was right on time for me, and the words and wisdom expressed were so truthful, authentic, and motivating. As you encourage others, I pray you will stay encouraged also.
IM says
Your words along with all the responses makes living each day real. Thank you fot this and all your articles.
Dominic says
I can’t seem to stop overthinking , what can I do to ease it , living in the moment is truly amazing ,that is when you capture that moment
Leslie says
This post is excellent. It describes a lot of the things I have been going through in the last year. I lost my job at the end of 2022 and my husband made a bad investment that cost us 70% of our retirement funds. But my son is healthy and happy and my husband and I are getting by. I am in pursuit of a new position, that I hope I get, and the appeal of material things has finally abated for me. I chased so many beautiful things in my life only to realize that I always had what I needed and wanted the most: a great husband, a wonderful son, parents who are still with us and an incredible brother. I appreciate your posts and they give me a picture of what I want to be such that I can keep putting one foot in front of another. Thank you.
Piyush Agrawal says
only one thing I want to say ..its amazing.