“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
– Nietzsche
The wisest, most loving, and well-rounded people you have ever met are likely those who have been shattered in some way. Yes, life often creates the greatest humans by breaking them first. It’s the painstaking journey of falling apart and coming back together that fills their hearts and minds with a level of compassion, understanding, and deep loving wisdom that can’t possibly be acquired any other way.
Angel and I have worked with hundreds of these incredible people over the past decade, both online and offline, through various forms of coaching and live events. In many cases they came to us feeling stuck and lost, unaware of their own brilliance, blind to the fact that their struggles have strengthened them and given them a resilient upper hand in this crazy world. Honestly, many of these people are now our biggest heroes. Over the years they have given us as much, if not more, than we have given them. And they continue to be some of our greatest sources of inspiration.
So today, to honor these unlikely heroes of ours, we want to share a selection of their stories with you (with full permission, of course). Below you will find bite-size excerpts from 20 different emails we’ve received over the years — they are super short but incredibly focused accounts of real life, real struggle, and the human resilience required to take the next step. There’s definitely something here for all of us to think, smile, and cry about:
1. Happier Now
“It’s been exactly ten years since my controlling, abusive ex-fiancé sold my favorite guitar which cost almost $2,000 and took me ages to save for. He sold it on the day I broke up with him. When I went to pick up my belongings, he was proud that he had sold it to a local pawnshop. Luckily, I managed to track down the guy who bought it from the pawnshop. The guy was really sweet and gave it back to me for free, on the condition that I join him on his front porch for an hour and play guitar with him. He grabbed a second guitar and we ended up sitting there on his porch for the rest of the afternoon playing music, talking, and laughing. He’s been my husband for almost nine years now, and we are happier now than ever.”
2. The Very First Time
“Last night just before bed, my daughter, whom I adopted three years ago at the age of seven, called me ‘mom’ for the very first time.”
3. Absolutely OK
“The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a 2000-pound car, I realized my husband and nine-year-old boy were out of the vehicle and absolutely OK.”
4. A Second Chance
“Today, on my 47th birthday, I re-read the death note I wrote on my 27th birthday about two minutes before my girlfriend showed up at my apartment and told me, ‘I’m pregnant.’ She was honestly the only reason I didn’t follow through with it. Suddenly I felt I had something to live for. Today she’s my wife, and we’ve been happily married for 19 years. And my daughter, who is now a 19-year-old college student, has two younger brothers. I re-read my death note every year on my birthday as a reminder to be thankful — I am thankful I got a second chance at life.”
5. I Remember
“It’s been five years since my mom—my best friend in the world—was in a car accident that resulted in her losing all of her long-term memory from before the crash. When I was little, my mom and I used to quote a Winnie The Pooh book as an inside joke. One of us would ask, “Have you ever seen a dragon fly?” And the other would reply, ‘I have, I have seen a dragon fly!’ This evening I was sitting with her while we were watching TV and I randomly asked, ‘Have you ever seen a dragon fly?’ And she responded with, ‘I have, I have seen a dragon fly!’ We stared at each other for a prolonged moment, and then she jumped out of her seat and exclaimed, ‘Oh my gosh, I remember!’”
6. A Day Older
“I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts removed. But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one. Up until now I have had no health problems. I’m a 69-year-old woman in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins. Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these patients could be a day older than 17. And right now, I’m feeling like the lucky one.”
7. He’s The One
“My dad is a blind cancer survivor. He lost both his eyes when he was in his early 30’s to a rare form of cancer. Despite this, he raised my sister and I, and took care of my mom who was in and out of rehab for alcoholism and depression. My mom is a fully recovered alcoholic now, my sister and I have graduated college, and my parents are still together and back to being happy. I’m certain none of this would have been possible if my dad hadn’t been such a resilient, positive force in our lives. My dad’s mental strength literally saved our family. And he’s the one who pointed me towards your blog.”
8. Perfectly Healthy
“Earlier this week I went to the doctor’s office because I was experiencing awful stomach pains. They ran some tests, took blood, and told me they’d contact me in a few days. I assumed the pain was at least partially due to stress. Three weeks ago, at the age of 35, my husband, the love of my life, died from a heart attack. And this afternoon I felt another wave of despair come over me, feeling like I had nothing left. As I sat there the phone rang; it was the doctor. She said, ‘You’re perfectly healthy. You’re pregnant.’ And in that moment I cried, happy tears, for the first time three weeks. Because a couple months ago a fertility clinic discovered a condition with my husband that they said would take “a small miracle” for us to get pregnant.
9. The Guidepost
“I’m an Iraq and Afghanistan veteran. Upon arriving home 10 years ago from my final tour in Afghanistan, I found out that my wife had been cheating on me and had spent almost all of our savings. I had nowhere to stay and no phone and was suffering from pretty severe anxiety. One of my close friends from high school, Shaun, and his wife, seeing that I was in need of help, took me in and let me live with their family of five. They helped me deal with my divorce, and ultimately gave me space to get my life together. Since then I’ve moved into my own place, rediscovered my passion for life, opened a fairly successful local diner, and my friend’s kids call me Uncle Jay when they see me. The way they supported me and adopted me into their family in my desperate time of need is now the guidepost for how I try to live my life.”
10. There Is Hope
“I’ve been dying of Leukemia since my 17th birthday. I was sent home from the hospital for my final few weeks 156 days ago. But now I’m back at the hospital being treated again, because my doctors now believe there is hope.”
11. Home Now
“Today, after my daughter’s funeral, and several hours of tearful soul-searching, I started going through my phone and deleting two weeks’ worth of condolence messages. There were so many of them that I eventually selected ‘delete all,’ but one message didn’t delete. It was one of the last messages my daughter left me before she died, and it was still marked as ‘new.’ Sometimes my voicemail forces me to listen to old messages before I can delete them, so played it, even though I really didn’t want to at that moment. My daughter said, “Hey dad, I just wanted to let you know I’m okay and I’m home now.”
12. Letters
“After three years of separation, and lots of regretful drama, my ex-wife and I finally resolved our differences and we met for dinner last night. We laughed and chatted for almost five hours. Then just before we parted ways, she handed me a large envelope. In it were 20 ‘love and forgiveness’ letters she wrote me over the last three years. There was a post-it note on the envelope that read, ‘Letters I was too stubborn to send.’ And even crazier is that I wrote her a few letters too, and I still have them stored on my work computer’s desktop.”
13. Simple Pleasures
“Yesterday, after completing eight straight months of depression rehab at a live-in treatment center, I spent my first day out with my five-year-old daughter. We sat on my parent’s front porch all day making construction paper collages. The sight and sound of my daughter’s laughter and the simple pleasures of cutting construction paper and peeling Elmer’s glue off our hands are the best reminders I’ve had in eight months of why I’m choosing life.”
14. Here Praying
“I was born on this day 57 years ago, but today isn’t my birthday, at least not this year. Your birthday doesn’t really come when you’re sitting in a hospital room hoping your wife of 25 years wakes up from a coma. And although the doctors are optimistic, I’m still here praying, and waiting, patiently.”
15. A Truly Beautiful Day
“Last night there was a family of six staying at the hotel where I work. They were hanging out in the lobby sharing stories, laughing, and taking turns reading excerpts from a joke book. I asked them where they were from. ‘Oh, we’re from here,’ the father said. ‘Our house literally burned down yesterday, but miraculously all of us got out safely. And that makes today a truly beautiful day!’”
16. The Sunrise
“I realized that although it was the darkest period of my life, if I had not struggled through, and beaten, seven years of an eating disorder and severe depression, I would not be here now smiling so appreciatively at the sunrise through my living room window.”
17. Better Now
“It took years, but when I finally found the courage to divorce him after decades of abuse, I found myself feeling alone because most of our mutual friends continued to believe his lies instead of my bruises and my depression. But I’m getting better now.”
18. I Have Chosen
“I recently lost the respect of a few people I love, and the desire to hurt myself, when I finally told everyone the truth about who I really am and what I have decided to do with my life. In a nutshell, I have chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day.”
19. She Squeezed Back
“At 8 A.M. this morning, after nearly four months of lifelessness in her hospital bed, we took my mom off life support. And her heart continued beating on its own. And she continued breathing on her own. Then this evening, when I squeezed her hand three times, she squeezed back three times.”
20. A Promise
“This afternoon, at the age of 70, I graduated from The University of North Carolina with a bachelor’s degree in business. I’ve been a successful business owner most of my life, but I decided to earn my degree to fulfill a promise I made to my mom before she lost her battle with cancer on my 20th birthday, 50 years ago.”
(Note: Our newest publication via Penguin Random House, “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day”, is a great tool for daily reflection on your own life story and journey.)
Growth Through Difficult Times
The stories above obviously hold many lessons, but as I mentioned earlier, one lesson they collectively share is that hard times don’t just break a person, these times can also make a person…
Hard times are like strong storms that blow against your body and mind. And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you might otherwise go. They also tear away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn, so that afterward you see yourself as you really are in the present, without the needless attachments and crutches you’ve been clinging to.
In a very real sense, you are here to endure these storms, to risk your heart — to be bruised by life. And when it happens that you are hurt, or betrayed, or rejected, let yourself sit quietly with your eyes closed and remember all the good times you had, and all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned in between. Tell yourself how amazing the journey has been, and then remind yourself that life’s difficulties are a necessary part of it all.
In all seasons of life, your goal shouldn’t be to seek a perfect and pain-free existence, but to live an imperfect and sometimes difficult one in radical amazement. To get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is extraordinary in its own right. Every day is a gift. Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in any way is to be amazed in every way.
And it’s important to note, too, that Angel and I don’t just preach. We’ve endured our own pain, crawled through our own strong storms, and learned from firsthand experience many times over. Over the past 15 years we have dealt with several severe hardships, including the sudden death of a sibling, the loss of a best friend to illness, significant betrayal from a business partner, an unexpected breadwinning employment layoff that forced us out of our home, and more. These experiences were brutal. Each of them knocked us down hard and kept us down for a while. But when our time of mourning was over after each hardship, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life…
Of course, it’s not the path we would have chosen, but it is the path we have accepted and embraced. (Note: Angel and I discuss our journey and life story more in our books, “Getting Back to Happy” and “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to own your own story, and to not let life’s past bitterness steal your sweetness. Remember, no life story is one chapter long. No chapter tells the whole tale. No event entirely defines who you are. Give yourself all the time and love you need, but keep turning the pages that need to be turned…
And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which bite-size story above resonated the most today? Anything else to share?
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Dona says
Beautiful stories. And here’s mine:
My daughter, 36 years old, passed away almost two years ago, one of the most hardest times of my life to deal with. But today I wrestled with her 5-year-old son in my living room. His giggles were so contagious, and so familiar in so many ways. My daughter’s legacy lives on!!
mary kortisses says
All of these stories touched my heart. I lost my Daughter at 37 years of age in 2021. Her Son at 17 years old just announced that his girlfriend is expecting a baby. Most of the family is very dissapointed in him as we all hoped he would have an easy life and we all know children are not easy. I was the first family member that he told which made me feel special, he also told me that if the baby is a girl he will name her after his Mom.
Amanda says
Reading these stories of pain and struggle are so very bitter sweet. My heart goes out to everyone in these posts. I feel your pain and I celebrate your joy. Tomorrow will be my 53rd Birthday and today I am sitting in the cemetery car park about to place flowers on both my adoptive parents’ graves. They are buried together with their dog. After this, I will drive 10 kms up the road and put flowers on my birth mother’s grave who died 18 months ago and never wished to acknowledge me her only child or her grandson (my son who is 20). Now I await a phone call from my son as he finally finishes up his alcohol rehab clinic — which I’m proud of him for finishing. Anyway, this thing called “Life” that we didn’t ask for and many times don’t want is to be embraced no matter how hard it gets. As the saying goes, “you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain”. Look up to the skies and celebrate the beauty of Mother Earth as good things will certainly come to us all. Tomorrow is a new day. I wish you all love peace and happiness. 🙂
Jane Pritchard says
Loved these bite sized stories. They are truely inspirational. The one that stands out to me the most was the one about anorexia. I have been this way myself since 14 and iam still fighting it however her story lifted me and gave me hope to fight on even when iam ready to give up. Thankyou for sharing all these stories because something good comes from all of them, hope!
priyanka says
i am enlightened by your sentence – this thing called “Life” that we didn’t ask for and many times don’t want is to be embraced no matter how hard it gets.
I will LIVE life more positively as I remember this.
– Priya
Divya says
Amazing, amazing post.
I have been following your blog (on-and-off) since I was 19, which is almost 10 years now. It has helped me through teenage anxiety, social pressures, educational and career pressure.
Each time I visit your website, I learn something and leave feeling contented. And if that isn’t something happy in this unfeeling world.
Thank you, Marc and Angel. Wish you happy holidays ahead, keep inspiring people.
Reba says
These stories are incredibly heartfelt, and they remind me of my own. Nine years ago this last week, my beautiful 11 month old granddaughter passed away, My son and his wife were in the grip of a pain I couldn’t fix. I was falling apart because of the loss, and because I had no way to fix the loss. A wise person told me to concentrate on what I had enjoyed in her short life and to celebrate that, not all the years that were not to be. Her life had been destined to be a short one. So that’s what I did, She had a short life, but one that she never knew about war or despair, A life that was filled with wonder joy and loving arms. How blessed that one of my grandchildren should have been given the privilege of leading a near perfect life. By focusing on that it allowed me to find peace. I will never forget the feeling of holding my son as he wept for his daughter, I will also never forget the joy of watching them pull their lives together and welcome a new baby into the world. Losing her was not the end, her life was worth celebrating, and the impact she had can be seen in the joy that will never be taken for granted in her younger sibling.
Thanks, M&A, for sharing these stories today and allowing me to share mine.
christine says
Thank you for all your emails and books and stories shared during this time in my life. The last couple of years have been tough ones for me and I’m grateful to always read your words and what you share. It makes me feel less alone on my journey. Best wishes. X
Helimar says
Thanks to all your advices and stories, I love to read them and I have bought your 1,000 Little Things book and still listening to it. I am going thru a divorce that I never expected, imagined from a cheating husband who I believed was perfect. I realise now it was at least partially my fault. I had so many expectations on him. But I am also grateful that I am no longer being lied to or cheated on. I love your phrase from the book.
“It’s always better to be slapped by the truth tan kissed with a lie.”
FYI I am a Brazilian living in Paraguay (South America) just wanted to share how far you guys are going. This is awesome!
GRATITUDE
Amy says
This is SPECTACULAR! Every story made me think. You always know when to send particular posts and emails my way. Please, keep it up!
Joy says
I loved reading these!! Being named Joy has been my self challenge in life to try to live up to! It can be a challenge sometimes but always makes me get back up!! I have gone through losing a spouse at 57 to Alzheimers and then within about 7 years, both parents and all my dads siblings. Because of this, my daughter got her doctorate and went into Alzheimers research. Also my late husbands case was used to present to Social security the need for Alzheimers to be a automatic disability without waiting to get those benefits. Nine years later, I prayed for God to help me find a spouse who would help me go to heaven and met my expectations , not settling for less. I had a few dates (so much more scared than as a teen) and remarried a great man! (He had prayed for the same ! God gets all the credit!!) He had been through and loss a spouse of dementia so we had been caregivers 24/7. We decided it was time for us to get away as we weren’t getting any younger. We took in 45 continental US states prior to Covid. We have had some health issues recently but are SO thankful for the fun times and things we got to go and do while we could! I have been SO blessed to have two loving husbands and now extended family to boot! We soon will celebrate 7 years of marriage. Make the days count and cherish those you love!!
James Ongati says
All the stories resonate with me. But no. 17 is quite descriptive of what I am going through. I finally decided to let go of an abusive relationship recently. I am better now than then.
Nomusa Ndlovu says
Thank you MARC AND ANGEL, as the name says Angel you are a God sent angel, for sure, all these stories are so touching, again they make us strong.
Myself I have been through a lot after my son went into depression it was such an experience I must really say.
When we read all these stories especially the one where a family of six lost everything and remained only with threir lives, what a testimony.
Also for a person who graduated at the age of 70, this keeps us going knowing that our turn is just around the corner.
Nancy McFall says
Thank you for sharing these lovely stories with us. Guess everyone has their own journey to follow.
Xanthi says
Hi everyone, Hi Marc and Angel, greetings from Greece, you give us hope again and again that this world we are living in and all its struggles has some good, kind, lovegiving members. You make us feel we are not alone and this is so important, keep up the good work 🙂 -thank you. Xanthi
Marsha says
I needed to hear these stories today. I’m going to be more positive, and grateful.
Madolyn says
Inspiring stories. I lost my husband 2 yrs ago to an accidental fall, I am surviving!
Next week would have been out 36th Anniversary, I will be celebrating our wonderful time together with a renewed look toward the future. Thank you for sharing how others cope with the trials of life.
Susan says
Your writings and stories are a blessing to all that read them. Thank you.
Jan Tamble says
After 10 losses, all family but one ( I’m including my dog of 17 years!), the last being my mom and 29 year old daughter, I went through a time of morning, but also a time of quiet reflection about all the loved ones I had lost. A friend recently reminded me of what I said when I first found out my youngest daughter Megan had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, and given only had 4 to 6 months to live. I replied to a group of friends, “I refuse to let this rob me of my joy”. Megan lived a year, and I’m grateful we got more time than the doctors told us, and chose the phrase “ I chose JOY” daily to live my life. Your article of stories remind me that how we chose to live when faced with surprising and horrible circumstances are a choice.