We’ve come a long way, and we’re still learning and growing. Let’s be thankful for the lessons. Let’s take them and make the best of things today.
For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather told me he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”
That was a huge wake-up call for me — one that has served me well for over two decades now.
And here are eight wake-up calls for all of us — some important lessons worth learning and living by, before it’s too late:
1. We might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”
About 15 years ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident on the way to work. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.
I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. There might not be a tomorrow. Today is the day to express your love and admiration. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
2. Our judgments of others are often inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is. When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your own limited perspective.
Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy. Many people you think have it easy have worked their tail off to achieve their status. Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions. Many people who appear to be too old and uncool were once every bit as young and hip and inexperienced as you are right now.
3. Not trying is why most people fail in life.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about the most, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt the worst. Trying — truly trying — always leads to some level of success, regardless of the outcome. Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time. Every outcome, good or bad, is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser over time.
So keep reminding yourself that in the end there’s only one thing that makes a goal or dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. Because the results you achieve in life are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently!
Yes, your life will get better when YOU get better. Start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day by building positive daily habits and sticking to them. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.
4. Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity. It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.
Patience is the realization that the quality of your life in the long run is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with today. Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you gradually work hard for the dreams and goals that matter most to you.
5. We often don’t need anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences, and meaningful work are the staples of a happy life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want.
And at a certain point, the excessive material objects you buy end up hurting the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have? (Read Soulful Simplicity.)
6. We aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else.
All humans are imperfect. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard. We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes. Yes, sometimes the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.
But that’s honestly the worst of it — we all have our moments. Most of the time we are remarkable! So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the remarkable moments either.
7. All the little things make a big difference.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there — the blood, sweat, and tears — the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end — every step, every regret, every decision, and every little affliction.
Yes, the seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent laughing and socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing down your thoughts on social media posts no one ever read. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and Twitter threads and fashion tips and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are…
All of this has strengthened you! All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
Truth be told, you’ve been broken down dozens of times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you have come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!
8. Excuses are mostly just lies.
Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? Because you’re not good enough, or you’ve already missed your chance, or it’s just not in the cards for you. You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t…
- “Maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur and freelance writer because he has no kids.”
- “Maybe she’s way fitter than I am because she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a more supportive spouse, or doesn’t have bad knees.”
OK fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway. Angel and I have a family, and have coped with significant loss in our lives, and still managed to make meaningful progress in our lives. And just as we’ve turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who’ve done the same. Through 15 years of work with our coaching clients and live event attendees, we’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year olds starting healthy families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth. And stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve incredible outcomes.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. NOW is the moment to actually step forward!
It’s your turn…
Today, I sincerely hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Gina says
A million thank yous wouldn’t be enough to express the gratitude I feel towards both of you for writing such brilliant articles and emails each week. Your words inspire me every single day in every way possible! Every time I read them, I wonder “How do these people know exactly the advice I need…”
This article particularly hit home… and hard! Especially #7 and #8… I always keep coming up with excuses to not do things. I really need to work on not lying to myself. Thank you again for the constant encouragement you provide… your words always make my day. Bless u both! And I’m also enjoying your newest book on relationships.
Coral Hurford says
You are both truly insightful and inspiring people. To fully acknowledge and absorb your wisdom is going to mean stopping, taking a step or two back and pondering the wise words in
Relation to The Self. Your words are
The Treasure Trove of Human Growth.
-Coral
Tony Milani says
What an awesome article.This should be read everyday till it’s timeless wisdom sticks.
Jen says
Truly believe that as well! Should be read and taken into consideration everyday, especially #7 & #8:)
Rachel Lima says
Beautiful post. Sometimes in my daily grind I tend to lose sight of what is really important. Your essays and emails are often just the occasional wake-up call I need. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sandra P. says
Marc, what an intimate and beautiful story about your grandfather. I can relate on so many levels. Also, number 1 is such a profoundly important message. I had an opportunity to express my forgiveness to my ex-husband for divorcing me after our son tragically died. He just couldn’t cope, and I knew that’s what it was. I am so grateful for that conversation because three weeks later he died. I’m sure it was of a broken heart.
Thank you for weekly inspiration and healthy reminders.
Patrick says
Marc (and Angel), an outstanding piece of work. It’s going out in an email to my extended family as a must-read — and a must-do.
John says
Marc; I was fortunate enough to be with my dad when he passed. His last words to me changed my life. The day before he died, he grabbed my wrist with one hand and removed his oxygen mask with the other. His lungs were filling with fluid, his heart weakening and as he spoke he was panting a bit. “It’s been a good long life John but gosh it’s gone by fast.”My dad was on the cusp of being 88 years old. All I kept thinking was “It’s gone so fast?” SMH I’ll be 70 in August. I don’t feel 70 but my dad’s words are something I hear every day. I don’t know when I’ll get a second chance to tell the folks in my life how much they matter to me and people often look at me as being dramatic but that’s okay. I may never get the chance to say what’s in my heart. I might give you a hug, pay you a compliment, tell you what you mean to me, because quite simply it does go by really fast and like the line from the old Seals and Crofts song says “We may never pass this way again.” Namaste
Greg McIntyre says
Thanks for your positive message. Truly inspiring!
Eileen says
A wonderful set of things to live by. I once knew a brilliant psychologist who told my husband and I that we were the last people who really knew our own minds. What he meant by that is that even our view of ourselves is often inaccurate. Just as we judge other people based on our limited perspective, we also judge ourselves with that same filter. Thanks for the post. Lots of good perspective here.
Connie Degraff says
Excellent insight! We all need to be reminded of these things. Thanks for this message u have given to many people. I appreciate it reminding those who remember to be grateful for all our blessings. God bless u.
Mary E. Andersen says
Oh my goodness, while having my morning coffee…I got a really great wake up call from coming across your site, I am so blessed even at 63 I have heard, read or known these words of wisdom but, putting them into play every minute of every day we must focus on them. They must be in our core. I Thank You for opening my eyes even further. Looking forward to more insite. Have a blessed and beautiful day everyday. So Grateful. Mary
Mary says
Awesome wake-up calls. Sometimes hard to face the mistakes and regrets of the past. Lack of following my dreams, lack of following opportunities lay heavy on the mind. In my 7th decade of life it is even more apparent. It requires a different direction. I am more inclined to now stick with a compelling thought and not question it. Asking for guidance and help even from our inner self is better than trying to succeed on our own whims. I think back on all the troubles and realize I always made out okay in the end. But had I been more focused things would have been even better. Time has a way of catching up with you. And things become not so important anymore, that helps with getting real. Each day I learn new things and that keeps me young at heart. A purpose in life gives one a reason to survive.
Don Presson says
I always look for your new articles and essays. They are straight forward and full of good, common sense advice. It’s helpful for sure, and this piece was particularly wonderful.
Ana says
Thank you for this list, many make lists of “things” they want or want to do or go to. This is MY kind of list that is truly a gift, heartfelt reminders of being kind to myself and others, when you fall get back up, obstacles strengthen, it’s never to late…? it!! This took me into a time machine, back to difficult times, suffering, struggling, hustling, fighting – no more, oh no! Patience & every small action towards a dream do equal progress and I was humbly reminded that I wouldn’t change a thing from my past. BTW I will be printing this article (hard copy lol) for our fridge so my family is privy to the same golden nuggets of wisdom. Thank you so much!
Ronald Hochhauser says
WOW! Speaking of “wake up calls!” My Wife and I thought about moving back up North to be close to Family but even though we hit our 80’s we believed we still had time to do that. Really wanted to stay in Florida until we “had” to move. Then came our “wake up call!” My Wife fell and broke her femur (thigh bone) and I fell a Month later. WOW! Yep, we woke up!
Kodey WhiteWolf says
Great article. Inspirational ..Into reality with good reminders. Thanks.
Charles Spencer says
I’ve been experiencing a great deal of mental turmoil, and your post could not have arrived at a more ideal time. It has helped to “calm the waters”, so to speak. There have been things that I need to do and say, but it has been much easier to tell myself “I’ll wait until tomorrow”. I’ve been waiting for tomorrow for a few years now. I intuitively knew all of what you’re saying, but seeing it spelt out and stated the way that it is in this article, has forced me to see, feel, and acknowledge that I have important things to do, while I am able, and sometimes waiting for tomorrow causes it to never come. Oftentimes it does come, but we choose to wait for another tomorrow, and this is the one that never ever arrives. I thank you sincerely for your words. They mean a lot to me.
Linda Gray says
Your article reminded me of how I did take the time, thought, action to show my husband how much I loved him. He was on hospice and I would try to give him a massage, especially his leg and each time I would know that someday I would remember the feeling I had when helping him and what feeling he may have had. He was not able to talk toward the end. When he was placed on morphine and in a coma, I talked to him, played his favorite music and kept telling him how much I love him. I had help from a friend whose husband went through the same issues, same disease. I know for many it may feel awkward to tell someone how much they mean to you or how important they are in your life. I think it is because we think they will be embarrassed or not know how to respond.
Your articles and your book helped me get through the hardest time in my life when my husband was in hospice. Thank you!
Perla milner says
Thank you both always for your e mails and for making a difference to so many of us! Much love to you both.
Angela says
Thanks. Your words are priceless. The encouragement and positivity are very meaningful to me. Here’s to life!
Denise Moody says
I just happened to come across this article while searching through my phone. I am so glad I did and I know it was divine intervention. I feel so encouraged and forgiving of myself and others. I realize each day gives an opportunity to do better. I did subscribe and I’m looking forward to more words of wisdom.
Heidi boerstler says
Excellent piece! Thank you. I feel better
Heidi
Maralea Cole says
This is such a great article and number one is so very true. My brother -in-law died unexpectedly a year ago. He was 66. Many of his co-workers told us at the funeral how great and loved he was and how he always helped others. People from highschool related how he reached out to them. He was a wonderful guy and I don’t think he realized it. We did not know the last time we saw him would be the last time.RIP Harry.
Marama Mita-Waata says
Great read……
Good prompts and reminders.
Always need daily prompts to keep on task…. and to continue positives while knowingmistakes are ok… lessons are learned and praise self be kind and love self and others.
Be grateful and patient….
Thank you….
Marama
Susan Boerger says
Awesome read. Puts things in perspective for sure. Be as kind to yourself as you do others. Get up and show up. Everyday is a new day i have to remember that. Be kind to myself and always remember im doing the best that i can.
Lou says
Once again you hit it out of the park for me. I love reading your wonderful encouraging words. I loved when you said there should be more wisdom and kindness. I pass out kindness cards all the time.
George says
Very thankful that this article popped up in my feed. Thanks for taking the time to make these observations and share them with the world.
Lori says
#7 Hit home the most for me. Beautifully articulated.
Harold Losano says
Aloha mahalo nui loa. Mahalo for taking me back to my child hood values and moral, so inspiring , As a Hawaiian that’s the ture value of the word ALOHA . God bless you and your family.