“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’
A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”
That’s an old parable my grandmother recited to me countless times when I was a kid. I’ve since seen a shortened version of it circulate on social media, oftentimes being falsely attributed to John Lennon, Goldie Hawn, and others. While the internet sleuths seem conflicted over who penned the very first version of the parable, it’s a story that has always stuck with me. Sure it oversimplifies the complexities of happiness, but it makes some good points too. And my grandma’s version has that line about “finding happiness in hard work,” which is a fundamental concept that still resonates deeply with me today.
As adults, Angel and I have spent nearly two decades working one-on-one with hundreds of our coaching clients, our book readers, and our live event attendees who struggle with variations of that very concept — finding happiness when life demands that we work hard for it. So many of us attach to the expectation that life should be easier than it is. Regardless of what we choose to do “when we grow up,” we subconsciously fantasize that our chosen path will have very few detours, interruptions, and inconveniences. And then we wait around endlessly for things to get easier, as countless good opportunities pass us by.
Whenever you catch yourself stuck in this kind of unproductive cycle, remind yourself…
1. You need to do hard things to be happy in life (and you can).
Yes, you need to do the things most people would rather avoid — the things that make you uncomfortable, that are far easier to run from, that others can’t possibly do for you… the things that make you stronger but also make you question how you’re going to find the strength to push forward.
Why?
Because those hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises to yourself and one filled with purpose, progress, and fulfillment.
The key?
Consistent and passionate daily action!
Learn to believe in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of passion and purpose — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. And remind yourself that passion is not something you find in life; it’s something you do. When you want to find the passion and inner strength needed to change your situation, you have to push yourself to step forward.
Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” — something that we believe will lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.
On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:
- When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone nearby, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?
- When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?
- When was the last time you truly tried — truly tried — to do your very best?
Like most of us, you’re likely putting a halfhearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about — some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But you need to do the exact opposite!
2. Putting your whole heart and soul into ordinary moments is what creates life’s magic.
Going back to when I was a kid again, my grandmother used to tell me, “Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.” She also said, “Too often we spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it. Stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today, and then improve it tomorrow.”
Believe it or not, recent psychological research indirectly reinforces my grandmother’s sentiments. For many years, psychologists believed our minds could directly affect our physical state of being, but never the other way around. Nowadays, however, it is widely documented that our bodies — for example, our momentary facial expressions and body posture — can directly affect our mental state of being too. So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in. And you can make this reality work for you. If you want more passion and happiness in your life right now, act accordingly right now.
Put your heart and soul into something!
Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but into the opportunity right in front of you.
Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but into today’s tasks.
Not into tomorrow’s run, but into today’s run.
Not into tomorrow’s relationships, but into today’s relationships.
Angel and I are certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time and energy. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of potential passion within you, just waiting…
3. Stop waiting — that’s the real lesson here!
It’s not too late, but you do have to get started. In other words, you don’t need to have it all figured out to take the next step. But you do need to take the next step to figure it out. And as you struggle forward, remember, it is far better to be exhausted from taking small steps forward, than it is to be tired of waiting around doing absolutely nothing.
Truth be told, if you wait for “the right time” — if you wait until you feel 100% ready — you will be waiting the rest of your life. Take this to heart right now. Too many people wait too long to live their best lives. They wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for passion and happiness. Don’t be one of them!
Just keep reminding yourself that new paths are made by walking, not waiting. And no, you shouldn’t feel any more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what gradually builds your confidence, and creates progress in life.
Now is the time — it’s your turn…
Just put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you today…
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Victoria Sanchez says
Thank you so much for the perspective this morning. I could put my whole heart and soul into making breakfast and lunch for my children and getting them off to school today. I woke up tired and grouchy this morning, and I’ve been resting the har little bits of work in front of me before I have to get ready for work. But you know what? You’re sooo right! THESE HARD THINGS ARE NECCESSARY, and they aren’t even that hard really. And when I think of putting my heart and soul into doing it all, it reminds me that I’m actually quite blessed.
Your emails and books never cease to inspire me. Thank you. I’m also looking forward to attending your next think live better conference when you announce it.
Barbara Regenspan says
This posting resonates with me totally, Marc and Angel. The funny thing is that for some of us, one of the hard things is accepting the gifts of love, care and tribute from the people in our lives who need to express their appreciation of us as much as we need to express our appreciation of them. Sometimes “taking” can be hard, because we fear being too big, or seen as too good and therefore elevating expectations about our future “performance” in life. I am learning to let people love me without constantly deflecting and trying to minimize my accomplishments, and it’s apparently giving me and them equal pleasure.
Cathy Webb says
This entire article was an opener to my life. I keep waiting for the right time, and have waisted the majority of my life I am now in my middle 60’s. Now is the time. Learn to accept and love.
Kathleen Taylor says
I can’t Thank You Enough!! This is exactly what I needed to read today!!
Karen Knobelsdorf says
Me too – 66yrs
SB says
I’m becoming more and more passionate each day about my physical, mental and spiritual health. I liked how you explained passion in a way that really resonated. Today I am passionate about getting my morning chores done before yoga! Thank you for your inspiration. First time I’ve left a comment here too.
Toneika says
Great perspective on passion. I agree with this perspective on being passionate and creating happiness in our lives. I also think happiness is determined by our emotions or current circumstances and can be temporary, but Joy is what we should be striving to have on a consistent basis. Joy is not determined by our circumstances or who is in our lives or not. My Joy is in God (Yahweh) and knowing I am here for a purpose and everything happens for a reason that leads to a bigger purpose. My decisions matter, my perspective matters, the reason I do things matter, being true to who I am and was created to be matters, following my intuition and Holy Spirit matters to live in passion and purpose. I believe passion comes from doing things we love to do with positive purpose.
Maggi Kemna Ventura says
I so agree! I do keep asking God what is my purpose in life. This article showed that it is today! What I always try to do-live with positivity! And keep moving! Thank you!
Bonnie Peterson says
Love your articles! They are so uplifting and encouraging. Just what I need! My life motto has always been, ” Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm.”
I think this fits in with what you’re saying. Maybe others think that I haven’t achieved great things but I’ve done small things with passion! My life has been full and I am so grateful.
Leonora R. says
Thanks for the extra push today. I’m not waiting. I’m putting all my focus and attention on clearing out a spare room and donating things to charity. I want to turn this room into an art and writing studio. I’m also giving my passionate attention to applying for a graduate school program.
Isaias Alezones says
Thank you for the many inspirational moments I received from you free of charge, specially when I needed these the most and during the times I had no means to repay. You are both a very rare example of true kind people in these days of chaos and lack of compassion. Once, I get better situated mentally, physically, and financially, I will reach out to invite you both and your wonderful and meaningful words of encouragement to be part of my project to benefit middle school kids and to help them decide for a better future on their own.
Daree says
Amazing. We talked about this in church this past weekend – – that doing the right things in life takes effort and most people don’t want to put in the work. I put my best efforts into moving… just got a new house and it’s smaller so I’m conscious about I’m keeping, and what I have to let go of, even if I don’t want to.
Khanyi says
Hi Marc and Angel,
Wow, this article hit home. I really needed this.
I am actually ashamed of this but I have spent this year just waiting. In January, my contract as intern ended and I was hopeful that they would call me back and at least offer me a fixed contract, but no such thing happened.
I got so caught up on this one failure that it literally paralyzed me for 7 whole months! it’s a shame, really. Finding a job is really hard, I’ve been applying and have gotten no response from companies, and it has really messed with my confidence.
But I’m gonna pick myself up. It’s gonna be hard but hey, it’s my life, no one’s gonna do it for me.
Melissa McQueen says
Keep at it. Be confident. Know what you are good at and practice it with enthusiasm. Finding work can be very hard, even when we hear that companies are struggling to find candidates. It can be demoralizing and paralyzing and even turn into depression. Like the article states, small steps can turn into big steps. A great piece of advice I’ve heard is to eat the frog first thing everyday. The hardest thing you have to do, get it done and it sets you up, gives you more confidence for the rest of the day. We are lucky to live in an era with so many choices. Find a conference related to your skills, attend, network and meet people. Spruce up your LinkedIn account and find similar groups of people to connect and share ideas with. Join organizations in your field online. There are many societies related to different careers. Find meetup groups, those are fun like minded events. Never doubt you will succeed. The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.
Lesley says
I’m hitting 50 next year and I decided a few years ago to take one day at a time. Tomorrow is never promised to you so do things while you can. I want to do things while I still have time and while I am still capable of doing them. I have a little thing I say sometimes – Of course I’m happy I wakened up this morning, some people are not afforded that luxury.
Danny Daniels says
So captivating, I have delayed my self so much because I want to be 100% ready before I can take action. Thanks for this motivation.
Greeting from Australia.
Danny.
Robyn Mixon says
Do it now!! I hear you and I am listening. I started a book for my book club and it is making me so upset, I want to leave it–my choice and I can listen to others talk about it–instead, I’ll be getting to my art work which I’ve been putting off and which is where I should be involved (procrastinating bc I have to “read the book”). No more–today, I start my artwork as soon as I complete my workout–I’m faithful there. Thanks for the push–I needed it.
Chris Hufnagl says
Hi Marc and Angel,
I don’t have a lot of time to write at the moment, but I’ll tell you what resonated with me…one line.
“New paths are made by walking, not waiting.”
‘Nuff said. Gotta get on with the day. Cheers.
Chris
Michael pippin says
I agree with finding a passion, I believe I have found mine. Thank you for your insight.
Micky says
Marc and Angel, Thank You so much for this uplifting message. After my father passed awhile ago I “stopped waiting.” I was always, someday this-someday that. Before dad left he always said, make sure you do something for yourself, and do it good, be the best you can be at it, true happiness and passion does not come from hand-outs. I try to find happines no matter how small and simple in everyday. -I look forward to your articles.
Anita Whipple says
Lou Holtz said it very well. Do you want to be happy for an hour? Eat a steak. Do you want to be happy for a day? Go golfing. Do you want to be happy for a week? Go on a cruise. Do you want to be happy for a lifetime? Put your faith in Jesus Christ..
Myra says
Thank you For the deeply thoughtful messages sent daily, I look forward to rceiving them and enjoy the introsoective, heart provokoking thoughts i experience as a result of the shared words. It’s a blessing to welcome a daily dose of edification.
Sending love to you all.
Hugs-
Myra
Joy says
Thank you for reminding me that my future is now. Not tomorrow or next week or next month.
Juergen says
Thank’s for sharing this awesome message.
It nails down crucial things and keeps me reminded on what is really important in life.
I needed to read this message this morning.
It’s a kind of wake up call.
George L says
Your emails are like a compass that guide, and I thank you as I have been reading them for a few years now.
Patrik says
Wow, this is actually one of the very best articles I’ve read online a long long time! Thanks a lot!
Israel ADEDIRAN says
What a KINETIC Piece…….Momentum is key to PROGRESS!
Charles P. says
Agree! I so needed to read this! Thank you!
Mark Sankey says
Thanks. Simple and good stuff. I am 71 and will not give up.
Uncle kay says
Thanks sooo much for the positive reminders. I’m from ghana and I love this article.
Moe says
This is honestly one of the most eye-opening essays I have come across online.
Thanks.
Christine Popovich says
Thank you for both the wonderful article AND all commentary- very inspirational – will be taking inventory of my life’s focus and energy priorities – change is needed, just need to figure out the details and create a plan. Blessings to all.
Christine Popovich
Adriane says
Thank you. This is just what I needed to see today. I only recently learned that motivation FOLLOWS action. Sometimes I tend to forget it (force of habit), so your article was a timely reminder. It also explained the whole process in very relatable detail.
My main takeaway is this: I have a tendency to start something, then abandon it when motivation fails,.which makes me disgusted with myself. You made me realize that I need to keep performing the actions, disregarding fleeting “moods.”
Queenishh says
This was exactly what I needed to hear and the way that you worded it and broke it all down, was so helpful to fully comprehend and fit into our own personal worlds. Thank youu!! I am definitely now on board to subscribe, follow, All that!
Carly says
“Too often we spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it….” is what resonated with me today and almost everyday. I had this similar talk with my therapist. When she asked me “are you going to wait until you have a job before you take that leap?” She asked in the most sincere way. I was so frustrated, I interpreted the question as “I’ll start my life after i have money, after the kids are ok, after I feel safe, etc” I replied “no, it’s now or never”. I’ve been here before telling the same story over and over again. The difference is I’m wiser, more mature (sometimes not), less reactive, focused on….happiness! The next wake up call on your article was “stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today”. Yes! I know I have many resources and people to support me along the way. I know my purpose, my passion. This is really fear of not having everything perfect first. My thoughts think of the worst things that could happen, the worst thing never comes. Or the worst thing already happened and I’m ACTUALLY OK. Time to tell a new story and it’s base is happiness! Thank you Marc and Angel, your articles are motivating. I enjoy every email I open. Love, Carly.