Life is short, and it is here to be lived.
I recently received a thank you email from a reader named Hope. She said our articles helped motivate her through an arduous recovery process following a serious car accident last year. Although her entire story was both heartbreaking and inspiring, this one line made me pause and think:
“The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second earlier this year when, as I laid crushed under a 2000 pound car, I realized my husband and 9-year-old boy were out of the vehicle and absolutely OK.”
Dire moments like this force us to acknowledge what’s truly important to us. In Hope’s case, it was her husband and son. And in the remainder of her email she talks about how her family has spent significantly more time together in the latter part of this year, sharing daily stories, telling little jokes, and appreciating each other’s company. “The accident made us realize how much time we had been wasting every day on things that weren’t important, which prevented us from spending quality time with each other, and prevented us from making meaningful progress in our lives. So we’re truly grateful it’s not too late to make up for lost time…” she said.
It’s hard to think about a story like Hope’s and not ask yourself: What do I need to stop wasting time on (before it’s too late)?
Here are some things to consider that I’ve been examining in my own life:
1. Expectations that prevent us from appreciating people.
Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss the little things the most, like just smiling together and being appreciative of each other. To be honest though, I learned this lesson the hard way. And it’s a lesson that still serves as a wake-up call to me nearly 25 years later…
For my 18th birthday my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather told me he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”
2. Ungrateful and oblivious states of mind.
We don’t always need more, more, more. We need appreciation. Because we often take for granted the very things that most deserve our attention and gratitude. How often do you pause to appreciate your life just the way it is? Look around right now, and be thankful… for your health, your family, your work, your comforts, your home. Nothing lasts forever.
And remember that being grateful starts with being present. Because you can’t appreciate your life when you’re not paying attention to it. So practice appreciating where you are and what you’re doing on a daily basis: Love what you do, until you can do what you love. Love where you are, until you can be where you love. Love the people you’re with, until you can be with the people you love most…
It’s about honing a mindful presence, which at it’s core means:
- Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
- Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
- Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)
(Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for practicing daily mindfulness and gratitude.)
3. Little (continuous) excuses.
Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? Because you’re not good enough, or you’ve already missed your chance, or it’s just not in the cards for you. You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t…
- “Maybe he’s a successful entrepreneur who grew his side hustle into something big because he has no kids.”
- “Maybe she’s way fitter than I am because she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a more supportive spouse, or never had an injury.”
OK fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway. Marc and I have a family, and have coped with significant loss in our lives, and still managed to make meaningful progress in our lives. And just as we’ve turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who’ve done the same. Through 15 years of work with our coaching clients and live event attendees, we’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year olds starting healthy families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth. And stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve incredible outcomes.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
4. Compulsive busyness.
The key is to remind yourself that there’s a big difference between being busy and being productive on the average day. Senseless busyness just leads to burnout and no results. So be sure to schedule time every day to pause and reflect. Have clear check points in your routine — a feedback loop — that assures your actions are in line with your priorities, and that you’re not just spinning your wheels for no reason.
Over the past couple decades, Marc and I have gradually learned to pay more attention to the beauty and practicality of living a simpler life. A life uncluttered by most of the default busyness people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what’s truly meaningful. A life that isn’t constant rushing, worrying, and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with the people and projects that truly matter most to us.
5. Senseless consumerism.
Have incredible stories to tell, not incredible clutter stuffed in your closets…
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that healthy relationships, experiences, and meaningful work are the staples of a happy life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to waste time researching and buying material goods you don’t need or even want.
And at a certain point, the excessive material objects you buy end up hurting the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have? Keep yourself in check, and save yourself some time!
6. Endless hesitation when expressing love and kindness.
About 15 years ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident on the way to work. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.
I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line: Sometimes we hesitate to express our love and kindness simply because we believe there’s more time left than there is. Yes, sometimes, sadly, we wait until it’s too late. So let this e your wake-up call to not waste another day: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. Nothing is guaranteed. Today is the day to express your love and kindness. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to treat your time today with extra care. Just keep reminding yourself that there’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion, and that life is too short not to invest your limited time wisely…
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is truly important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Toby S. says
Angel and Marc, I just want to say thanks today. I truly appreciate your emails and essays on a weekly basis. This one spoke to me on many levels.
Michael Thomas Juarez II says
Life is a practice. And we all need to be reminded of what is truly important. I am so grateful to have found you and my life is better because of your hard work and love for people.. I try to pass on your remainders to others in my action language. The way you put things into words allows for any living human perspective to be the best for themselves and others as your content can relate and help anyone to be productive in their practice. You are appreciated.
Col Ashish says
Very meaningful, truth of life realised earlier on better , in myriad relationships , to live a meaningful happier life relatable to genuine happiness and goodness.
Thanks for the wonderful insight into pure living
Christine says
Your recent emails have been really well aligned with what I’m working to improve in my life. Thanks so much for sharing these ideas and strategies generously with us.
As for me, senseless busyness gets the best of me for surer – I let the typical social media distractions suck hours of my life every week. I’ve known this for awhile, but it’s time to make a change. And i also liked the reality check about expressing your love to those you love. I don’t do that enough.
Victoria says
I surely need more gratitude and less excuses in my life. Thanks for these reminders today. Needed!
Gp Baba says
Respected Marc n Angel….
First time im dropping a comment in my long history of following u via email. I have straightened out the mess in my life by your principle of focusing on the PRESENT time with an unprecedented zeal each day and taking care of what i can do rather than spending days in monologue about the things beyond my control. And this post here helps reinforce this today in such a positive way.
– An Inspired follower of your posts
J says
Thank you for the reminders, above all, to appreciate the people I love, and to express it.
Awon Davidson says
THANKS MARC & ANGEL…!!! I don’t have time for a longer comment, but I really appreciated this essay today.
Jen says
Wise words. Thanks for the great reminders. I’m getting together with family today and will make an effort to be more present.
Renee says
I’ve been offline for a good while (weeks) and to get back on and see this in my inbox, bliss. Looking forwards to more balance and intentionality in my life. I learnt so much from this article. Thank you.
Nora says
So grateful for taking the time to read this post today. Coming home yesterday, day 3 of a new job, with my mind swimming. Journaling and then reading this post and sitting has helped me to remember my priorities: HP, husband, mentorship, and other family relationships………etc. I can breath right now anb make this day meaningful without it being overwhelming!
Linda B says
Hi Marc and Angel, I really connect with your articles. They speak truth to me and are reminders of the path I strive to be on. So, thank you both for your ministry each week! Simple but profoundly conveyed life advice!
Bee says
Marc and Angel,
Thank you for this article, and reminders. Most importantly, encouraging us to appreciate who we have at this present time. I’ve been going through a rough patch and lots of transitions during this fall season and I’ve been having a difficult time coping without the people I love nearby. this is a very helpful reminder to take time to be thankful for who I do have and to simplify my life choices and focuses.
Warm regards,
Agnetha says
Good stuff, especially about reinventing yourself at any age. Who can forget Susan Boyle for instance? Also Georgia Holt, the mother of Cher, cut her début album at the age of 87.
Micky says
Marc and Angel; Going thru a tough time right now witbout looking back. Thanks for a hand in tbis new jouney.
-micky
G.G. says
After a difficult stretch in my life and allowing the JOY to be sucked out of my daily living, I am using this day to get back on an orderly, positive track! This is just what I needed, thank you both!
Diana Pfaff says
Today’s essay was spot on. It aligns with the life that I am working to create for myself. For the past few years I have been consciously striving for a more balanced and meaningful life. I feel like I am making progress, but I know it will take constant and consistent effort to maintain the lifestyle I desire.
Salmas says
This really hit home with all the senseless violence happening in the world right now. We take so much for granted. Thank you so much for the wonderful reminders on a weekly basis to get back to our core of love and to cherish life and the people around us for the better.
Carmen Mota says
I always look forward to your biweekly posting. So much wealth of information.
As you pointed out life is short & not worth wasting time being unhappy. A reminder, that God is Good and wants life to be enjoyed to the fullest.
Barbara Williams says
I have followed your articles for a few years, however, this is my first post.
Thank you for reminding me of what I need to embrace and for stressing reaching out to others to express our love as often as we feel that towards another. Just think how that will make them feel! I appreciate you both!
Barb
BRENDA KYLE says
Dear Angel and Marc, I so love your emails, particularly when things are tough. One of my sons, who is 38, chose to walk away from me and I haven’t heard from him for 4 yrs now. Last week I found out that he got married in the summer and I wasn’t invited to the wedding. This tore my heart from my chest. I have reached out to him over and over but get no response. With your support, I choose to continue to live my best life with my lovely husband, writing and playing songs, recording, and enjoying our beautiful family that we do have around us, and enjoying our lovely home, good health and finances. I know I am unable to change his mind but I remind myself that I was an amazing Mum in very difficult circumstances, having a disabled child and an abusive husband then. I am in a very different place now and I will hold onto the hope that one day he will realise the hurt he has caused and come back to us, with love and respect. Thankyou for your encouragement and love, from Brenda Kyle.
Lin says
Your words are so true and we all need reminders of this. I am so grateful to you for this essay and all that you write. We all have regrets of things we should or should have not said or did but that was yesterday. We can only start today to try to do better. Thats what I try to tell myself and each day past hurts become lesser because I am trying hard to not repeat them. Thank you
Madolyn Hayne says
Yes, I’m going to tell people how much I love them . Now, Before the chance is gone. I’m 85, while I tell my kids I’m going to make it to 100, I could actually go any minute. I’m telling them today!! Thank you for your words.
Carol says
Thank you for your wise words of advice.
Marty says
While I practice most of these mentioned, I appreciate the reminder I can get overly busy as a way to numb myself after the losses I have experienced. I do appreciate each day and what I have and what I have left. Thank you for expressing this so well.
Anastasiia says
Hello,
Thank you so, so much for your input in my life. Almost every day I listen your podcasts on Spotify and I love them: it helped me to understand myself, to understand others.
And I love you for that, you are great people!
Anastasiia
Lou says
YOU REMIND ME TO MAKE MY DAY COUNT.
Henly Dopo says
Greatly appreciating you for the tireless efforts you put every time to keep reminding and motivating me. Even though I subscribed to receive your newsletters couple of years back, I wasn’t really considering them to be of greater importance to me and my life until for the past few months. I started to read and stared living a practical life. All the essays I read started changing my life and starting to see positive changes for my life.
Thank you for sharing. Our Great Lord will continue to bless you and your team with his wisdom.
JPQ says
I am so glad this article fell into my lap! I seem to have spent a lifetime chasing this simplicity and never quite grasping it, sometimes I come close, other times it has gone from my head for long periods due to family and work issues or both. This article has given me a clearer perspective with its profound insight and wording.
It has made me feel I can do anything!
Thank you