June 6th, 2007 @ 7:40 am by: Marc
10 Irrational Thoughts Rational People Often Think
Irrational thoughts occasionally occur in the minds of all people. Intelligence does not make someone immune to irrational thought. These thoughts typically clutter our minds with feelings of resentment and distaste. Sometimes they are based on internal defense mechanisms we develop to mitigate personal anger in an attempt to avoid facing the truth about ourselves or our immediate circumstances. If someone imposes stringent expectations related to a stressful issue on themselves or their close companions, irrational thought is likely to set in, and all parties involved will probably experience needless emotional grief.
Passionate perceptions of an event made by someone in distress can seem crazy from a third party perspective. This craziness is simply the sum of stress and irrational thought. These thoughts allow the distressed party to remain the victim while avoiding all situational responsibility. One must learn to break this momentary negative thought process in order to achieve continuous stability in their life and in their relationships.
Here are 10 irrational thoughts that rational people often fall victim to at one point or another:
- Mistakes are never acceptable. If I make one, it means that I am incompetent.
- When somebody disagrees with me, it is a personal attack against me.
- To be content in life, I must be liked by all people.
- My true value as an individual depends on what others people think of me.
- If I am not involved in an intimate relationship, I am completely alone.
- There is no grey area. Success is black and failure is white.
- Nothing ever turns out the way you want it to.
- If the outcome was not perfect, it was a complete failure.
- I am in absolute control of my life. If something bad happens, it is my fault.
- The past always repeats itself. If it was true then, it must be true now.
Your life will be more productive if you learn to avoid this type of negative thinking.
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12 Comments
June 6th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
In my experience, people who think those things are typically incapable of looking at themselves objectively. The advice is wasted on them.
June 7th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Success should be white and failure should be black.
Also, in general the past does repeat itself because human nature generally does not learn unless it is experienced by the individual. I’d say that way of thinking is more helpful and harmful.
June 13th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Big D,
Yes, the past can repeat itself, and surely the individual will learn by experiencing something firsthand. My position here is not to discredit that point, but to simply acknowledge the fact that negative (or positive) occurrences from the past do not always repeat themselves in one’s own personal life. Historically speaking about the masses of our society… certain things do repeat, and that’s a whole other story.
Also, I strongly disagree with your opinion of success and failure. There is certainly a grey area in the quest for success. If I may, allow me to quote our buddy Steve Jobs:
I was lucky, I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation, the Macintosh, a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me, I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple…
You can find a link to the full speech by Steve Jobs here:
http://www.marcandangel.com/2006/12/26/stay-hungry-stay-foolish/
June 13th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
No the black and white thing was a typo in your article. You have success is black and failure is white. I read that entire quote (good quote by the way) and then realized I was in agreeance with you.
And history does repeat itself many times throughout an individuals life. And *generally* the outcome is the same.
I go to vegas…I lose money
I go to vegas…I lose money
I go to vegas…I get bit by a vampire and lose money
Fighting assholes in public = bad
Rollercoasters are fun
You see, the repetition of experiences (history) are extremely frequent within an individuals life. As such we *generally* know what an outcome of our choice to act or not act will be.
When you combine people going through this process as a group, we tend to do the exact same thing with our interactions as a group. Hence the larger history (experiences) of mankind (the group) repeating itself.
We’re stuck in a circle, a Nascar fan’s dream. :o)
July 2nd, 2007 at 4:03 pm
[…] and Angel presents 10 Irrational Thoughts Rational People Often Think posted at Marc and Angel, saying, “Irrational thoughts occasionally occur in the minds of all […]
July 4th, 2007 at 4:01 am
All Roads lead to Rome!
Systematically, that which exists; exists! All that serves an absolute; terminates.
Nirvana does not exist in a world that evolves.
July 5th, 2007 at 7:57 am
I found this to be realy useful, I suffer with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), Worry and an extremely low self esteem and am currenlty in therapy with a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. I was abused physically, emotionally and mentally by my mmm as a child and although this subsided a little the emotional and mental abuse continued right up to me cutting her out of my life about 18mths ago, I am almost 32! I am at stage where I am afraid to let go because I dont know anything else, almost like I dont know how to behave I guess and also for the fear that if I do my mom will be let off the hook so to speak. Its very hard but also very rewarding and I know my life will change and its thanks to people out there not thinking I’m a looser, lunatic or loosing my mind!!!
July 5th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
@Bryan:
I completely agree. The gradual evolution of time changes one’s perception of nirvana. Excellent insight.
@Pam:
The simple fact that you can put your thoughts down in writing says something about the strength of your character. Even with the abuse present in your past, you seem driven to press forward into a better tomorrow. Keep your head up, set goals for yourself, and focus on what makes you feel good. I wish you the best of luck in your process of healing.
July 31st, 2007 at 8:27 am
Do you really know someone who thinks like this? These are more like irrational thoughts. Rational people would rarely think this way.
August 25th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
I think like this. It takes quite a bit of internal self control to overcome each of these thoughts when they happen, but I am getting better at realizing what they are and stopping them before they consume me.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:14 am
[…] May be you cannot. But you certainly can recognize the irrationalities that led you to those mistakes. Here’s a good post that I’ve come across at marcandangel. […]
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
A beautiful post, whose timing is perfect.
I thank you for this. I will post it in a place of honor at home for others and myself to read, for the advice is sage.
Nothing ever turns out the way you want it to. - I fall to that one from time to time, as well as “I need to be liked by everyone.” I’ve gotten over the latter, still getting over the former.
Kenneth Udut, simplify3
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