post written by: Marc Chernoff

Popular Infidelity: We Are All To Blame


Sexual infidelity is widely regarded as one of the most dishonorable assaults against the sanctity of an intimate relationship.  Yet, we all seem to be mesmerized by it.  Infidelity makes a love story more intense, a song or poem more passionately tragic, and forms the foundation for which the immensely popular celebrity gossip industry firmly holds the attention of millions worldwide.  If infidelity is so appalling, then why are we all so consumed with the notions of the act?

A moment of infidelityAt some point in time everyone involved in an exclusive relationship experiences a momentary thought of infidelity.  It’s the flirtatious glimmer in your eye that indicates a brief superficial curiosity for someone of the opposite sex, the simple act of wondering.  For that split second your values misalign, placing shallow emotion ahead of your true moral character.  This momentary shift is a direct reflection of your instinctual emotion splitting away from your moral values.  When your sound moral values and your fickle emotion are disconnected, your mind is divided and thus your judgment is muddled.  Most people’s acts of infidelity are innocent, left hanging to expire in brief, insignificant moments of thought.

It is the strength of our character that realigns this momentary disconnect and prevents innocent thought from transgressing into an act of infidelity.  Reliability, honesty, and trustworthiness can be directly measured by one’s strength of character.  When the act of infidelity occurs, it has nothing to do with love; it is solely related to the shameful weakness of one’s character… weakness that is driven by senseless emotion.

People whom have never actually taken part in the act of infidelity would probably also deny the allegation of ever experiencing a momentary thought of infidelity.  This can be attributed to the fact that the thought never actually enters the conscious mind, but instead lingers in our subconscious.  The thought process is a natural instinct, and although we may be oblivious to it, our minds are instinctually aware of it.  It’s the combination of this subconscious awareness and our general human curiosity that will continue to foster the mass market interest and popularity of infidelity.

I’ll wrap it up with a quote from one of my favorite artists:

Everyone here is wondering what it’s like to be with somebody else.
Everyone here’s to blame, everyone here,
Gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain.
Everyone hides shades of shame,
But looking inside we’re the same, we’re all the same.
And we’re all grown now, but we don’t know how
to get it back to good.

- Rob Thomas

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5 Comments

  • Interesting topic…I would also add that the massive tsunami of marketing that young people face tends to make them think that it is “okay’ to cheat…shows like the OC and Sex in the City glamourize cheating and sex…therefore parental, religious and social moral teachings are slowly eroded because there is no positive reinforcement of fidelity in mass media or movies…

    Hence some of the more popular popular culture successes have been movies such as Sideways, Broke Back Mountain, Chicago*, American Beauty* and Lost in Translation (all nominated by the Academy * = Academy Winner) all illustrate as their main themes that cheating is ok and a part of life/society…why??? because the media rams this idea that it is ok down our throats because sex sells…cheating is sexier then a monagoumous relationship and cheaters equal heros…

    1 Man + 1 Woman = a family…from there their values must be spread to their offspring and the next generation…outside help is not necessary…we each should be allowed to raise our families as we see fit…and driven by box office hype and corporate media telling us what to think

  • I couldn’t agree more. Well stated. ;-)

  • I’ve been married for 13 years with two young daughters. I recently saw changes in my husband’s behavior. He started going out more after work, constantly texting on his cell phone. When his cell would ring he would jump to get it. He kept telling me it was a co-worker and it had to do with work. I questioned him about cheating, but he denied it. I needed answers and hard proof that my gut feelings were true and I wasn’t making it up. I ended up hiring AllState Investigations, which is a private detective agency. Well, to make a long story short, they caught him with another woman in a romantic relationship. That’s life.

  • @ Kerri:
    At times life can be unrelenting. Just keep your head up and push past the negative actions of others. It’s truly horrible to hear this kind of story.

    Best of luck to you.

  • Great topic! I always wonder how many issues in society are directly related to the media. How many other “immoral” activities are glorified by the media and others.

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