August 17th, 2007 @ 10:56 am by: Marc
What is Adulthood? 20 Defining Characteristics of a True Adult
How can one classify a true adult? Many people directly attribute age to adulthood. The problem with this methodology becomes evident when you discuss the topic with various people of different cultural backgrounds. If you ask each of them what age they believe constitutes the point at which a person progresses from childhood into adulthood, their answers will always be different. Why? Because every one of the answers are based on subjective opinion. Adulthood is not based age; it’s based strictly on emotional maturity.
So what constitutes emotional maturity, and thus adulthood? Here are 20 defining characteristics of a true adult:
- Realizing that maturity is an ongoing process, not a state, and continuously striving for self improvement.
- Able to manage personal jealousy and feelings of envy.
- Has the ability to listen to and evaluate the viewpoints of others.
- Maintains patience and flexibility on a daily basis.
- Accepts the fact that you can’t always win, and learns from mistakes instead of whining about the outcome.
- Does not overanalyze negative points, but instead looks for the positive points in the subject being analyzed.
- Is able to differentiate between rational decision making and emotional impulse.
- Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation.
- Capable of managing temper and anger.
- Keeps other people’s feeling in mind and limits selfishness.
- Being able to distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.
- Shows confidence without being overly arrogant.
- Handles pressure with self composure.
- Takes ownership and responsibility of personal actions.
- Manages personal fears.
- Able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation.
- Accepts negative feedback as a tool for self improvement.
- Aware of personal insecurities and self-esteem.
- Able to separate true love from transitory infatuation.
- Understanding that open communication is the key to progression.
Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.
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16 Comments
August 17th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Raising kids.
It may not be an official description of adulthood but it sure changes your priorities.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
If it’s an ongoing process, then it can’t ever truly be “defined”, as adults tend to die once they reach the stage where adulthood can be viewed objectively.
August 17th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Honestly, even though I agree that all of those points go into defining a decent human being, a good portion are very much opinions. For example, one does not have to view the good in every situation. Being optimistic does not define an adult.
Even so, all of those qualities make for a decent person. However, not all are required to be considered an adult or even be a respected addition to society.
August 17th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I realized I was an adult when I hit 30 and my insurance rates went down.
It wasn’t turning 30 and it wasn’t even that the insurance rates went down, it was me catching myself getting excited that my insurance rates went down.
“Woo! My insurance went down! Wait, what?”
August 18th, 2007 at 11:29 am
@FishPoisonCon: A process can be defined and people can objectively differentiate between levels of maturity before they hit their death bed. Your viewpoint is extremely negative.
@Stephen: I agree that these points describe a decent person, but at the same time, they also describe a mature person whom is capable of constructive thinking… an “adult”.
August 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 pm
“Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.”
One of the best lines I have ever read!!!
@Stephen going thru life in any other way then positive is a waste of time, energy and effort…as the Jamaicans say “Eree thing is iree iree” That means positivity can be found in every thing…the extreme is (input) Damn Bob died…(output) Bob had a great life and at least he got to get married and have a wonderful kid plus he got to drink Fat Tire Amber Ale (aka the nectar of the gods)…see positivity exists every where…
September 5th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
[…] Via Marc and Angel […]
October 14th, 2007 at 11:36 am
This is a great guideline.
).
They pertain to me as well as;
my spouse,
my children,
my grandchildren,
my soon to be great grandchildren,
my friends,
my enemies,
my mother in law,
and Marc.
We all backslide ( with the exception of Angel of course
These should be reviewed by us all as often as possible. A great way to create the future. (We’ve already created the past).
October 19th, 2007 at 11:24 am
@Thomas: Great points! Thanks for the comment!
December 18th, 2007 at 12:20 am
The best guide I’ve ever seen. There should be a class on this in high school. It takes a lot of patience and self esteem to get through the list though. Nevertheless, these are good things to devote time too.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I’m not there yet, but soon hopefully. It’s like that game BrainAge which distinguishes between your birthday age and your brain age, there should be a game which will help calculate your grownup age.
I’m 38, but my grownup age is only 17. I’m still stupid in so many ways (ie self-sabotage, pettiness, insecurity…) Thanks for a great post.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
@michaelwong38:
Being an adult can be really fun when you are acting like a child.
I do it all the time. I’ve just learned how to effectively switch gears when required. Thanks for the comment.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:55 am
This is a nice article, however, the fact of the matter is that most “adults” are a combination of both adult and child. I don’t know if we ever “outgrow” childhood, but indeed, like you suggest, it is important for us to incorporate as many of the above qualities as possible, that is, for smooth sailing through our “adult” years. Regards, Keith J, Web Entrepreneur, “FreeMathRescue.com”.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Divorce is an adult thing. Definitely. I can tell you all about that… twice in fact, I can tell you about two of them. Yup. And uhhh, living in your car is an adult thing to do when you lose everything or 1/2 of everything… twice…
March 27th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
#19 of distinguishing traits - “true love” vs infatuation.
I have experienced infatuation a number of times in my 54 years and have concluded it is a spiritual high unrelated to its object. Love is NOT an emotion but, at root, a moment by moment decision to act with generosity, acceptance, and concern. I do not believe love requires a “soul mate” but rather some basic compatibility - the rest is a daily commitment to act and think in a loving manner.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:50 am
@Latebloomer:
I could not agree more with your point on soul mates. I believe everyone has a set of personality traits that creates compatibility with certain other people. It’s quite hard to logically visualize there being only one possible mate for each person.
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