post written by: Marc Chernoff

20 Things Life Is Too Short To Tolerate


Life Is Too Short

You don’t have to settle, it’s simply a choice you make every day.  If you feel like you’re running in place there’s a good chance you’re tolerating things you shouldn’t be.  It’s time to reclaim your life.

Starting now, stop tolerating…

  1. People who bring you down. – Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
  2. A work environment or career field you hate. – Don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in.  Keep searching.  Eventually you will find work you love to do.  If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
  3. Your own negativity. – Be aware of your mental self-talk.  We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.  Start listening to your thoughts.  If you hear negative thoughts, stop and replace them with positive thoughts.
  4. Unnecessary miscommunication. – Say what you mean.  Mean what you say.  Speak clearly.  Ask questions.  Clarify things until you understand them.
  5. A disorganized living and working space. – Clear the clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use.  Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
  6. Your own tardiness. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man.  That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches.
  7. Pressure to fit in with the crowd. – Oftentimes, the only reason others want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.  Don’t conform.  Be you, because that’s the only person you can be.
  8. An unhealthy body. – Your health is your life.  Don’t let it go.  Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up.  The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.
  9. Fear of change. – Life is change.  Every day is different.  Every day is a new beginning and a new ending.  Embrace it and make the best of it.
  10. All work and no play. – Enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.  If you’re smiling, you’re doing something right.
  11. People or beauty ads that make you feel inadequate. – Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.  Be proud to be you.  You are already beautiful.
  12. Not getting enough sleep. – A tired mind is rarely productive.
  13. Doing the same exact thing over and over again. – You are the sum of your life experiences.  The more you experience, the more interesting your life story gets.
  14. Personal greed. – Don’t let greed and deceit get the best of you.  Greed will bury even the lucky eventually.
  15. A mounting pile of debt. – Always live well below your means.  Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.  Always sleep on big purchases.  Create a budget and savings plan and stick to them.  Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
  16. Dishonesty. – Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless.  Period.  Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
  17. Infidelity. – Intimate relationships are a sacred bond – a circle of trust.  If both parties aren’t 100% onboard the relationship isn’t worth fighting for.
  18. An unsafe home. – If you don’t feel safe at home you’ll never feel safe anywhere.  Build a loving household in a safe area that you are proud to call ‘home.’
  19. Being unprepared. – Life is unpredictable.  And there’s a big difference between being scared and being prepared.  Always be prepared.
  20. Inaction. – Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or someone else will.  You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it.

And remember, you only live once, but if you live it right once is enough.

Photo by: Anna Gay

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38 Comments

  • Nice list. I also like the notion of not being owned by our possessions. I’ve gone through a “de-cluttering” and found that so much of my previous brain activity was run by stresses, commitments, and money that was to be put into vehicles, vices, upgrades and space to keep “stuff” working or even simply just maintained. Once I looked critically at what I needed, no longer did I need to tolerate all of these additional vacuums for my thoughts and moods.
    Thanks

  • This is such an amazing post… right what I needed, when I needed it. Thank you, and I hope you don’t mind, I shared the link to it. Good writing needs repeated.

  • I love tis one if both parties re not 100% on board the relationship s not worth fighting for- i love my girlfriend but she doesnt seem to value th relationship she put preference to her friendship than to th relationship- i fink ve got to call it a day with her.

  • One thing I am battling right now is the pressure to confirm. Many a time I do things simply because others might think badly of me….

    In the last few weeks however I have tried hard to not do something simply to make others feel that I am a nice person but to trust that I am actually a nice person and do things that my heart truly desires no matter what… And yes it has felt amazing…though scary at times…

    Thanks for re-affirming that part of me with the statement about not doing things under pressure.

  • My negativity is what I need to work on.

  • I love the use of the word tolerate - it’s a good remind that we choose whether or not we have these things in our life.

  • I really enjoyed this post, Marc! I especially liked #9, about fear of change. One of the key ways we develop ourselves is by trying new things, following what works, and learning from what doesn’t. If you don’t have some risk, you probably aren’t taking a large-enough step. Adding all of these steps together go to #13 - helping you create a more interesting and rewarding life. Great points!

  • Another awesome list, Marc. I love #13…doing the same thing over and over again. Living a mundane, predictable life isn’t really living at all.

  • Spot on! All these bring us down and deflate our dreams particularly the beauty ads and mags which actually damage self-esteem and body love. I would add ‘not being your best self’ which is a challenge for sure but we too often allow ourselves to drift into a person we’re not, doing things we shouldn’t, and acting far lesser than our capabilities. Always step up to being your best person possible. Another top notch list Marc with observations and advice of the very best. You rock!

  • Life is too short not to have balance. The other day I was talking with someone who is approaching retirement and their opinion of young generations was that they should use their free time strictly on furthering their career. He said that when they get to his age, then they can have more balance.

    I’m a two time cancer survivor. One thing I’ve learned is that you never know when your time is going to come. You need to enjoy the journey in the beginning just as much as in the end.

    Take responsibility. Work hard. Stay out of debt. And enjoy the free time you have.

  • A really good list. It is great to be remind often of what we all ‘tolerate’

    I like #4..so many people beat around the bush when trying to tell you something instead of just coming out with it. Miscommunication is the cause for an awful lot of strife in the world.

  • I loved your list and totally agree with it.

  • Awesome post! I’m a survivor too, by the way. I love the way you point to personal responsibility and taking action.

    I dare you to move!

    Samantha

  • I love this list. I need to work on my own negative thoughts, because once I get that right, I feel like the rest will fall into place… but then I also feel like when I’m “too positive” I’m being dishonest with myself… whatever that means, right?

  • As always, thanks for the encouraging comments, everyone. I hope you all had an awesome week!

  • I really like this one. It’s practical without being overly optimistic. I don’t like the candy coated ones that give me a tooth ache.

  • As always, you know exactly how to say exactly what I need to hear. And…I’ve taken so many of them to heart that next week is my last day at my job as I take an important career step forward into a new company that offers much more of what I need and want out of my career and life. I love that I can look to you guys as a trusted friend who knows where I am coming from. It’s good to know other people expect more out of life too.

  • I really like number 4. It an attempt to be polite and gracious, people don’t always say whats on their mind. And sometimes when they have the courage to say what they really want to say, its too late.

  • Hi,

    What a great post!! I got here from Stumble Upon and have plans to stick around based only on this post and several other titles!

    Keep up te good work!

  • This is a great post. I find that people are very harsh on themselves, having a very negative voice in their heads about themselves and what they can achieve.

    It can be difficult not to listen to that negative voice but it feels so good when you can and allow your personal belief to grow (and grow).

    Warmest regards,

    Karl

  • I’m only going to touch on the first because it hits close to home. It feels terrible when you realize that you have people bringing you down who are close to you. Facing the cross-roads of whether or not you have to distance yourself to better your life is tough.

    Had to make that choice for a few people on my life. As hard as it was at the time, I knew it was for the better. Excellent post :)

  • Great post! Thank you for putting it together & saying what needs to be said & what I need to be reminded of. I bookmarked it to refer back to again & again.

  • I would also like to comment # 1 because I had to make the very hard choice to distance myself from people whom I once Loved very much but they where bringing me down. It is still hard but I know it is better for me. I still Care & Love them even if I have no contact with them. :(

  • #1 & #16 ive dealt w way too many negative hurtful & dishonest people in my life its time for positive change! ;) thanks great post very encouraging & uplifting!!! :)

  • Excellent list!! Living it now and never been happier……..just need to perfect #s 6 & 12 :))

  • This is really a really great read. Thank you so much.

  • I love your list! Wish I could manage the get out of bed 30 minutes earlier one - thankfully just a 2 minute walk to work, so no speeding tickets for me! Cheers.

  • Great set of rules. But there should be 21:

    Don’t make life decisions based emotions. Many people read these columns while they’re feeling emotionally lost. Instead of sorting out and commuting their problems at work, relationships, health- they scorch their ties and runaway from their struggles only to find they are right back in the same place.

    That’s the biggest problem with these self help posts… They are vested in by the right people at the wrong time. Lifes answers aren’t all listed in a google search.

  • This list is great. I feel especially drawn to the infidelity and dishonesty ones ..its amazing what we let ourselves get tied into… it is up to us though to put an end to the vicious circles we find ourselves in and be strong and control what we allow into our lives! We can’t control other people and the way they behave, but we can 100% take charge and determine what we want out of relationships ! It is hard as sometimes love just isnt enough and to be honest, people that truly love you, wouldnt chose to continually be dishonest and disloyal…

  • I loved the idea about waking up 30 minutes earlier to avoid running around like a mad man. Sometimes a few minutes extra can help you prepare for a productive day. This advice helped me a lot. Thank you !

  • Another great post! You are on my favorite bar, so you are always only one click away. :)

  • Loved this article. So glad my husband forwarded it to me.

  • A good read and something good to post somewhere and look at everyday for motivation to be “better”. I’m not going to lie — some of those things are easier said than done. But it’s worth making the effort.

  • Great insights. Thank you.

  • Very true. 20 pitfalls to avoid in life. Thanks for this very useful article.

  • I am amazed at how much of what you state is really “common” horse sense, but we never recognize it as such. We all have been seduced with the tendency of buying in to the culture of excess and kowtowing to others’ expectations instead of carving out our own “niche” in life and standing true to those values.
    Thanks for a great article.

  • Thank you :)

  • thank you marc & angel..

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