post written by: Marc Chernoff
20 Things to Stop Doing to Others
There is one key factor that can either damage your relationships or deepen them. That factor is your attitude. If you’re hoping to grow and maintain positive relationships in your life, read on. Below you will find a 20 step attitude adjustment guaranteed to help you do just that.
- Stop holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
- Stop complaining. – Instead, use your time and energy to do something about it.
- Stop meaning what you don’t say. – People can’t read minds. Communicate regularly and effectively.
- Stop making it all about you. – The world revolves around the sun, not you. Take a moment to acknowledge this truth on a regular basis.
- Stop lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
- Stop blaming. – Blaming others accomplishes nothing. Either you own your problems, or they will own you. Your choice. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give-up your power over that part of your life, and you annoy everyone around you in the process.
- Stop doubting. – If you think that you can’t achieve something, I have some news for you, you’re probably right. But don’t let your self-doubt interfere with other people’s dreams. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it. (Read Unstoppable.)
- Stop interrupting. – Correcting someone when they’re blatantly wrong is one thing, but always interjecting your opinions out of turn gets old fast.
- Stop being selfish. – You get what you put into a relationship. Nothing less, nothing more.
- Stop judging. – Everyone is fighting their own unique war. You have no clue what they are going through, just like they have no clue what you’re going through.
- Stop gossiping. – Gossiping about others is a lose/lose situation. It hurts them, and then it hurts your reputation.
- Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.
- Stop being defensive. – Just because someone sees something differently than you doesn’t mean either one of you is wrong. Keep an open mind. Open minds discover great things.
- Stop comparing people to others. – No two people are alike. Everyone has their own strengths. We are only competing against our own selves.
- Stop expecting people to be perfect. – ‘Perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ And genuine ‘goodness’ is hard to find in this world. Don’t overlook it.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – It’s impossible. But making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop screwing people over just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Do what you know in your heart is right. (Read Life’s Greatest Lessons.)
- Stop making mountains out of molehills. – People make mistakes. Crap happens. There’s no reason to stress out yourself and everyone around you because of it. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
- Stop giving out advice, and just listen. – Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. What they want to know is already somewhere inside of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.
And remember, your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. So pay attention to it, develop it, nurture it, and never, ever stop.
Photo by: Carnelia Kopp