post written by: Marc Chernoff

14 Rules for Being YOU

14 Rules for Being YOU

Be yourself.  Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  And above all, be true to YOU – if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

Starting today…

  1. Get your priorities straight. – Twenty years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of jeans you bought.  What will matter is how you loved, what you learned and how you applied this knowledge.
  2. Take full responsibility for your goals. – If you really want good things in your life to happen, you have to make them happen yourself.  You can’t sit around and hope that somebody else will help you; you have to make your own future and not think that your destiny is tied to the actions and choices of others.  Read Quitter.
  3. Know your worth. – When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation.  Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do.  Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you.  It’s not pride – it’s self-respect.  Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people.  Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life.  Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
  4. Choose the right perspective. – Perspective is everything.  When faced with long check-out lines, traffic jams, or waiting an hour past your appointment time, you have two choices:  You can get frustrated and enraged, or you can view it as life’s way of giving you a guilt-free breather from rushing, and spend that time daydreaming, conversing, or watching the clouds.  The first choice will raise your blood pressure.  The second choice will raise your consciousness.
  5. Don’t let your old problems punish your dreams.  – Learn to let go of things you can’t control.  The next time you’re tempted to rant about a situation that you think ended unfairly, remind yourself of this:  You’ll never kill off your anger by beating the story to death.  So close your mouth, unclench your fists, and redirect your thoughts.  When left untended, the anger will slowly wither, and you’ll be left to live in peace as you grow toward a better future.
  6. Choose the things that truly matter. – Some things just don’t matter much – like the kind of car you drive.  How big of a deal is that in the grand scheme of life?  Not a big at all.  But lifting a person’s heart?  Now, that matters.  The whole problem with most people is, they KNOW what matters, but they don’t CHOOSE it.  They get distracted.  They don’t put first things first.  The hardest and smartest way to live is choosing what truly matters, and pursuing it passionately.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  7. Love YOU. – Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are.  Yes, let someone love you despite all of this; and let that someone be YOU.
  8. Accept your strengths and weaknesses. – Be confident being YOU.  We often waste too much time comparing ourselves to others, and wishing to be something we’re not.  Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when we accept everything we are, and aren’t, that we are able to become who we are capable of being.
  9. Stand up for YOU. – You were born to be real, not to be perfect.  You’re here to be YOU, not to be what someone else wants you to be.  Stand up for yourself, look them in the eye, and say, “Don’t judge me until you know me, don’t underestimate me until you challenge me, and don’t talk about me until you’ve talked to me.”
  10. Learn from others, and move on when you must. – You can’t expect to change people.  Either you accept who they are, or you start living your life without them.  And just because something ends, doesn’t mean it never should have been.  You lived, you learned, you grew, and you moved on.  Some people come into your life as blessings; others come into your life as lessons.
  11. Be honest in your relationships. – Don’t cheat!  If you’re not happy, be honest, and move on if you must.  When you’re truly in love, being faithful isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a joy.
  12. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. – Life as we know it can change in a blink of an eye.  Unlikely friendships can blossom, important careers can be tossed aside and a long lost hope can be rekindled.  It might feel a little uncomfortable at times, but know that life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  So if you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is not an ending, but a new beginning.  Read The Power of Full Engagement.
  13. Be who you were born to be. – Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.  When it comes to living as a passionate, inspired human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime comfortably in your own.  Follow your heart, and take your brain with you.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.
  14. Never give up on YOU. – This is your life; shape it, or someone else will.  Strength shows not only in the ability to hold on, but in the ability to start over when you must.  It is never too late to become what you might have been.  Keep learning, adapting, and growing.  You may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.

Photo by: Johanna MacDonald

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  • Such true words. Thank you, yet again, for helping me believe in myself.

  • A beautiful reminder of how to appreciate your own-self before anything else!

    Thank so much for making us realize what our thoughts can do…:)

  • I continue to enjoy your blog. This article enforces my drive and passion for walking my own walk and talking my own talk, always. Thanks for that.

  • I’m in the process of changing careers to get involved in more meaningful work. These kind of posts really encourage me. Thank you for the inspiration.

  • Thank you so much for this site. Everyday that I read the words here I feel more love, gratitude and courage to do what I need to do to be happy. I wish everyone I know would read this blog, if they did I ‘m sure this would be a better place to live in no time.

  • I need to be reminded over and over again about perspective, and your words hit me just right today. Thanks so much!

    PS: Small pet peeve: Saying “you” instead of “yourself.” Please say “love yourself,” not “love you!”

  • Thanks so much Marc, truly

    “Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your as lessons”

    that was simply awesome and impeccable

  • Marc - I really enjoy your sites. I often find myself shortening everything to a single page and printing them to hang on my wall as a daily reminder of the many important lessons you remind us of. You may want to think of a printable version that someone can print a single page …

    Keep up the great work!


  • What a fantastic article! It all makes complete sense I can honestly say I’m there with some of the points you made, but I’m still working on the others.

  • This is so timely for me right now. Thank you for sharing.

  • Inspiring as always - Your blog is always enlightening and is truer than many of the truths we are conditioned to believe when growing up. Thank you.

  • What a great article!! You always hit the nail on the head! No matter how busy things get, I make it a priority to read what you write, it always gets my juices flowing!!

  • Beautifully written and well-explained! There’s nobody in the world more important than YOU, and it’s important to be the best YOU ever. These are some fabulous points, and serve as the rules we all need to follow if we’re going to achieve success and happiness.

  • These are all very important, but the first one is really important “1.Get your priorities straight. – Twenty years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of jeans you bought. What will matter is how you loved, what you learned and how you applied this knowledge.”

    How you loved will count in the end. By loving yourself first (minus the ego) you open the door for others to love you.

    When we stop being who we are meant to be in this world, that is when we take from the world instead of giving back to it.

    It is what is inside that really matters, like you say your shoes or clothing don’t matter, but it sure matters how you loved.

    Let your light shine bright, the world is waiting to hear from the real you.
    Thanks and blessing you both of you,

  • Incredible, inspiring post. This line: “Don’t judge me until you know me, don’t underestimate me until you challenge me, and don’t talk about me until you’ve talked to me.” is my new mantra. Love it.

  • Yet again you speak to my heart. I absolutely LOVE your blog!!! Thank you.

  • Another great post. I’m going to have to spend a weekend reading/studying this blog from beginning to end. Has there ever been a post or series of posts with recommended reading? I’m also very interested in reading the books that you guys have found most insightful in your lives.

  • Thanks much for another great article. I always enjoy reading them, they are always so right-on. If I may ask, if you ever update this website can you make a button to print the article itself, without printing the entire page with accompanying ads and replies? Thanks :)

  • I love your blog!!!!! Today i was feeling down doubting myself :( but after reading this article I knew that how I was feeling was just a waste of time …I am WORTH a million bucks!!! :)

  • I’m always inspired by your posts but needed #12 today more than you can imagine. Thanks for lifting me up today and always.

  • “if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” This quote says it all for me. Love what you do. Thanks for the inspiration.

    Lesh x

  • I really enjoyed this group of thoughts. As usual, I think of my own corollaries :) Mine today is: Don’t limit yourself arbitrarily. If someone were to say to you “I don’t think you don’t should pursue that because you shouldn’t / wouldn’t be successful”, you would think I’m not going to let you limit me — I’ll do what I want! But we sometimes limit ourselves by saying the same things internally. You wouldn’t let someone else stop you, so don’t stop yourself from trying something new either.

  • #4: Choosing the Right Perspective is so important, because you’ll see life’s challenge and obstacles as opportunities. When something “bad” happens to me, I don’t get so overwhelmed anymore. I see it as God’s way of bringing up issues that need to be solved in order for me to take my life to a whole new level. For example: when I’ve been having lots of technical issues and banging my head against the wall trying to configure Wordpress plugins for my blog. I’m starting to see it as an opportunity to delegate help and hire a web designer. Instead of trying to do everything by myself, God is trying to teach me that life is a team effort, and so much more fun when shared with other people. Every seeming “obstacle” is a lesson in disguise.

  • Great advice, as per usual. :)

  • Yeah! Such an empowering message. Rock on!

  • Great article as always but a lousy picture to demonstrate the message.

    “You made me” doesn’t represent owning your power, owning your goals or owning your life.

    No one can make me believe or feel anything. Only I can do that. They may inspire me, teach me, lead me but they can’t make me!

  • #3 really speaks to me. i’m currently at a very low point in my life and struggling to get out, this really helps, thanks.

  • Number 3 “Know your worth” just resonated with me today. I found out I meant very little to someone who meant the world to me. And I walked away because I knew I deserved better. I was so sad and disappointed but reading your post just gave me hope. I’m me! And I am awesome, just the way I am. Thank you for this great post. Whenever I read your blog, it feels like you’ve written it just for me :)
    Please keep it coming! :)

  • You lived, you learned, you grew, and you moved on. Some people come into your life as blessings; others come into your life as lessons.
    very true, many thanks.

  • This just hits the spot! I am so lucky to have subscribed to this blog, and to have read this article at the perfect time in my life. Thank you SO much.

  • I needed this inspiration today. Thank you.

    It seems ridiculous that we need to be reminded of these things, doesn’t it? But we know that they’re gone from our minds most of the time and I (personally) appreciate these reminders.

    May 24th, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Wonderful! I needed these words in my mind today. Thanks for showing the “way.”

  • Thank you for sharing! I am going through some big changes and tough times in my life and your blog has been a great source of motivation and strength for me.

  • Love these rules! Show your real self every day!

  • I found this website randomly a few months ago and I always come back when I need a pick me up or inspiration on my path of life. So thank you.

  • I’m always surprised at how much courage we have to have to be ourselves fully, that’s why we need lots of reminding. Thanks.

  • Thank you so much… such a self-empowering read.

  • Thank you for those great points. Simple and so true!!

  • As always, thanks so much for leaving us such positive comments, adding your own inspiring insight, and ultimately motivating us to continue writing and sharing these ideas online each week.

    We appreciate every one of you. :)

    And yes, we’ll work of a printer friendly function for our articles in the near future.

  • I have read so many articles on your site, but this one is so special.

    Thanks Truly

  • Thank you so much for writing substantial articles, just the reminder I needed. I can relate to most of what’s been mentioned cause I’ve been practicing and applying these to myself.. There’s no harm in giving a healthy dose of love to ourselves, this allows us to give so much more to others too.

  • today, I was feeling low…
    but reading these blogs have lifted my spirits.
    thanks!!!!!!! now, I can get back to my work with joy.

  • Thank you so much for these life quotes and lessons. Your words help me to become a better person everyday.

  • I always read your blog every time I am free. Thanks for the motivational and inspiring topics. It’s a great help for people who wants to step out from their comfort zones and start exploring their true self.

  • This is exactly what i needed to get over the negativity and disappointment in me! Extremely good post, Thank you! :)

  • Very inspiring… thank you.

  • Thank you for this. Another amazing post.

  • Thank you for writing this… I really needed this right now (especially #3 - truer words could not have been spoken).

  • Thank you. I needed to read this. Thank you.

  • Thank you for this! I linked this post to my blog.

    love & light


  • AH. So many here matter. SO many speak directly to my core. ALL are needed by my heart, my being just now. But it is a toss up between what I need the most #3 and #13…. always in 3’s. Thank you Marc and Angel ♥

  • Great article. I chuckled at the following in #13: ‘Follow your heart, and take your brain with you.’

    We don’t always listen to our hearts. We are taught to analyze, think (a lot sometimes) and act on every situation. Sometimes we just need to ‘Just Do It’ and bear the consequences, whatever they may be.

  • Love this; I appreciate so many of your posts. Thank you so much.

  • Thanks for the encouragement, I’m starting to believe in myself.

  • Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to publish such inspiring, easy to understand self help.

  • This blog makes me realize a lot of things that can be improved. Inspiring and beautiful ! Thank you. :)

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