post written by: Marc Chernoff
15 Relationship Truths for Tough Times
These 15 relationship truths may be a bit difficult to accept at times, but in the end, they will help you weed out the wrong relationships, make room for the right ones, and nurture the people who are most important to you.
- Some relationships will be blessings, others will serve as lessons. – Either way, never regret knowing someone. Everyone you encounter teaches you something important. Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you.
- When times get tough, some people will leave you. – When you are up in life, your friends get to know who you are. When you are down in life, you get to know who your true friends are. There will be lots of people around when times are easy, but take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most. These people are your real friends.
- Life is full of fake people. – Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun. It’s so easy to believe someone when they TELL you exactly what you want to hear. But when a person SHOWS you who they really are, believe them the first time. Some people are only nice for their own convenience – the type of people who only call when they need something or come around when it’s beneficial to them. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. But sometimes you have to be tricked and mislead by the wrong lovers and friends once or twice in your life in order to find and appreciate your soul mate and real friends when they arrive.
- People can easily be insincere with their words. – When someone truly loves you, they don’t have to say a word. You will be able to tell simply by the way they treat you over the long-term. Remember, actions speak much louder than words. A person can say sorry a thousand times, and say “I love you” as much as they want. But if they’re not going to prove that the things they say are true, then they’re not worth listening to. Because if they can’t show it, their words are not sincere.
- The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. – Don’t settle to just be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or sometime. If they can’t be there for you all of the time, especially when you need them most, then they’re not worth your time. Read Codependent No More.
- Harsh words can hurt a person more than physical pain. – Taste your own words before you spit them out. Words hurt and scar more than you think, so THINK before you speak. And remember, what you say about others also says a whole lot about YOU.
- A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes. – They are intentional choices. Stop hiding behind the words “mistake” and “sorry” and stop putting up with those who do.
- Excessive jealousy doesn’t tell someone how much you love them. – It tells them how much you dislike yourself. And no amount of love, or promises, or proof from them will ever be enough to make you feel better. For those broken pieces you carry, are pieces you must mend for yourself. Happiness is an inside job.
- When people get nasty with you, it’s usually best to walk away. – When someone treats you like dirt, don’t pay attention and don’t take it personally. They’re saying nothing about you and a lot about themselves. And no matter what they do or say, never drop down to their level and sling dirt back. Just know you’re better than that and walk away.
- People will treat you the way you let them treat you. – You can’t control them, but you can control what you tolerate. Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative people. Doing so does not mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself. Read Boundaries.
- One of the most difficult tasks in life is removing someone from your heart. – But remember, no relationship is a waste of time. The wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones.
- Resentment hurts you, not them. – Whisper a small prayer of gratitude for the people who have stuck by your side, and send a prayer of good will for those who didn’t. For should these people hear your prayers, those who have been there will know how much you appreciate them, and those who left will know that you appreciate your own happiness enough to not let resentment destroy your capacity to live with a compassionate heart.
- Silence and a half smile can hide a lot of pain from the world. – Pay close attention to those you care about. Sometimes when a friend says, “I’m okay,” they need you to look them in the eyes, hug them tight, and reply, “I know you’re not.”
- True love comes when manipulation stops. – True love comes when you care more about who the other person really is than about who you think they should become, when you dare to reveal yourself honestly, and when you dare to be open and vulnerable. It takes two to create a sincere environment where this is possible. If you haven’t found true love yet, don’t settle. There is someone out there who will share true love with you, even if it’s not the person you were initially hoping for. Read The 5 Love Languages.
- Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. People don’t live forever. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you. And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
Photo by: Ed Yourdon