post written by: Marc
15 Relationship Truths for Tough Times
These 15 relationship truths may be a bit difficult to accept at times, but in the end, they will help you weed out the wrong relationships, make room for the right ones, and nurture the people who are most important to you.
- Some relationships will be blessings, others will serve as lessons. – Either way, never regret knowing someone. Everyone you encounter teaches you something important. Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you.
- When times get tough, some people will leave you. – When you are up in life, your friends get to know who you are. When you are down in life, you get to know who your true friends are. There will be lots of people around when times are easy, but take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most. These people are your real friends.
- Life is full of fake people. – Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun. It’s so easy to believe someone when they TELL you exactly what you want to hear. But when a person SHOWS you who they really are, believe them the first time. Some people are only nice for their own convenience – the type of people who only call when they need something or come around when it’s beneficial to them. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. But sometimes you have to be tricked and mislead by the wrong lovers and friends once or twice in your life in order to find and appreciate your soul mate and real friends when they arrive.
- People can easily be insincere with their words. – When someone truly loves you, they don’t have to say a word. You will be able to tell simply by the way they treat you over the long-term. Remember, actions speak much louder than words. A person can say sorry a thousand times, and say “I love you” as much as they want. But if they’re not going to prove that the things they say are true, then they’re not worth listening to. Because if they can’t show it, their words are not sincere.
- The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. – Don’t settle to just be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or sometime. If they can’t be there for you all of the time, especially when you need them most, then they’re not worth your time. Read Codependent No More
.
- Harsh words can hurt a person more than physical pain. – Taste your own words before you spit them out. Words hurt and scar more than you think, so THINK before you speak. And remember, what you say about others also says a whole lot about YOU.
- A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes. – They are intentional choices. Stop hiding behind the words “mistake” and “sorry” and stop putting up with those who do.
- Excessive jealousy doesn’t tell someone how much you love them. – It tells them how much you dislike yourself. And no amount of love, or promises, or proof from them will ever be enough to make you feel better. For those broken pieces you carry, are pieces you must mend for yourself. Happiness is an inside job.
- When people get nasty with you, it’s usually best to walk away. – When someone treats you like dirt, don’t pay attention and don’t take it personally. They’re saying nothing about you and a lot about themselves. And no matter what they do or say, never drop down to their level and sling dirt back. Just know you’re better than that and walk away.
- People will treat you the way you let them treat you. – You can’t control them, but you can control what you tolerate. Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative people. Doing so does not mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself. Read Boundaries
.
- One of the most difficult tasks in life is removing someone from your heart. – But remember, no relationship is a waste of time. The wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones.
- Resentment hurts you, not them. – Whisper a small prayer of gratitude for the people who have stuck by your side, and send a prayer of good will for those who didn’t. For should these people hear your prayers, those who have been there will know how much you appreciate them, and those who left will know that you appreciate your own happiness enough to not let resentment destroy your capacity to live with a compassionate heart.
- Silence and a half smile can hide a lot of pain from the world. – Pay close attention to those you care about. Sometimes when a friend says, “I’m okay,” they need you to look them in the eyes, hug them tight, and reply, “I know you’re not.”
- True love comes when manipulation stops. – True love comes when you care more about who the other person really is than about who you think they should become, when you dare to reveal yourself honestly, and when you dare to be open and vulnerable. It takes two to create a sincere environment where this is possible. If you haven’t found true love yet, don’t settle. There is someone out there who will share true love with you, even if it’s not the person you were initially hoping for. Read The 5 Love Languages
.
- Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. People don’t live forever. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you. And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
Photo by: Ed Yourdon
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42 Comments
June 13th, 2012 at 12:36 am
I have been reading your posts for over 6 months now. I have enjoyed almost all the posts. Thanks for inspiring me with one post after another.
June 13th, 2012 at 12:57 am
You have me hooked on reading all your posts. Such great insights! Thanks for everything you put together.
June 13th, 2012 at 1:00 am
Great post! #10 particularly rings true for me right now. I am doing my best to live this way. Thank you for the regular enlightenment.
June 13th, 2012 at 2:40 am
These relationship truths ring so true. Such healthy reminders. You are exceptional…
June 13th, 2012 at 3:03 am
Hah. I had to force myself to cut myself off emotionally from a friend that I loved dearly because I realized that we were in a toxic relationship. Even though I knew we weren’t going to last anymore, it still hurt terribly to distance myself from her. Reading this helps ease the sting. Thank you so much.
June 13th, 2012 at 6:16 am
Fantastic list. Being on the receiving end on most of this, I know these to be true!
June 13th, 2012 at 6:25 am
Especially #9. Reminds me of someone……walking away isn’t difficult when that person means nothing to you
Very empowering!
June 13th, 2012 at 8:33 am
Simply fantastic. Exactly how I have always dealt with all my relationships. Thanks for solidifying my beliefs further. Thanks really.
June 13th, 2012 at 8:35 am
I like number five. It’s a relationship reminder I needed.
June 13th, 2012 at 8:47 am
Thanks to my friend Gino who introduced this website to me, I find it truly interesting every time! These relationship truths are no exception…
June 13th, 2012 at 10:31 am
Some decent relationship advice here. I love reading your posts. Thanks a lot !
June 13th, 2012 at 10:47 am
I have read thru this list and have found that the majority ring true about myself. It is sad to say that i have been living to please others. A rude awakening when you find that through acts of love and kindness, was actually someone’s stepping stone. I look forward to my future now. I love my children dearly and aspire to raise them into the capable, loving adults they should be!
June 13th, 2012 at 10:49 am
What you all write about is always so true in our every day lives. I’ve had a taste of everything you had in your blog today. Marc and Angel you make my life richer and wiser with each of your blogs.Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom.
June 13th, 2012 at 11:02 am
I regularly read these posts and usually love them. Although I know there is a lot of truth in this one, the negative reality of many of these truths has me feeling uneasy this morning.
June 13th, 2012 at 11:05 am
Excellent! You share alot of wisdom. Thank you!
June 13th, 2012 at 11:22 am
Each time your emails show up, I take time to read them and let the wisdom soak in. (And it is wisdom!) With each one, I grow a little. Thanks for the great work you do to help the world - one message at a time to one heart at a time. Remember the mustard seed…
June 13th, 2012 at 11:30 am
Great rules, do I have your permission to repost your blog on mine…. of course giving a link back to your site? These truths need to be shared.
June 13th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Wow, this article really hit home today… I needed to remind myself of some of these hard truths. Thank you.
June 13th, 2012 at 5:11 pm
I love this. All so very true! I think I will keep these truths close by and remind myself of them now and again.
June 13th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Marc and Angel,
Thanks for sharing some realistic advice. There is so much fluff in the blogging world. But this advice is grounded and down to earth.
There are some difficult people and relationships. Not everything is going to be roses. But we have to learn how to live in a complex world like this.
June 13th, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Regular reader here. I do enjoy these tips you mentioned on this topic. Well done !
June 13th, 2012 at 6:36 pm
More great advice. And some of these things my sister really should take notice of. She is one of those people who always puts herself down much to the annoyance of those of us who love her. Perhaps I will share.
June 14th, 2012 at 1:15 am
Great post - and great reminders. Thanks and keep them coming!
Cheers!
June 14th, 2012 at 4:07 am
True facts!! Loved this one! The same things happened in my life also.
June 14th, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Your posts have helped me a lot in the past couple of years! I’ve come across toxic, manipulative people and pathological liars (usually a combination). Not that I am perfect, but people have tried to take advantage of me. I used to think “WHY?” but it is impossible to understand what motivates people to be like that. All you can do is cut them out of your life because they need to know you deserve better and you DO.
June 15th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Loved these truths! Thank you.
June 15th, 2012 at 10:39 am
Some of the small bits of relationship advice in this article hit home in a big way. Much appreciated for keeping me think and keeping my mind straight.
June 15th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
I’m glad this article spoke to so many of you. For the most part, our reader response was positive. But for those of you who mentioned, via comments and email, that this post had a bit of a negative undertone, you’re right.
Truth is, in order for us to grow, we have to understand that not all aspects of life are ideal. Hardships are a natural part of living and growing; and hardships can be especially difficult to deal with when they are intertwined with our relationships. I hope this article inspired you to stand up for yourself, appreciate your loved ones, and spread positivity to others whenever possible.
June 17th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
All of these points are valid and truthful. Thank you for further solidifying a decision I made to break it off with someone that I love (still do) so very dearly who basically violated almost every one of the above. Although, for my own self repsect & dignity, I know it was the right thing it still hurts terribly none the less…
June 25th, 2012 at 7:43 am
This is why I bookmarked this site. Helpful posts.
June 26th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Excellent post and I am going to share this with my son who just graduated from high school.
June 29th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Beautifully expressed, thank you.
July 17th, 2012 at 12:11 am
This was a beautiful read. Lots to learn here. Best regards.
July 20th, 2012 at 12:54 am
Such true words.
July 22nd, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Thanks so much for this publication, it is so impactful.
July 31st, 2012 at 11:45 am
Thank you so much. Your posts help me have strength to go through this dark time of my life. Thank you for your wonderful site. I hope you continue with your great work. Thank you so much.
August 20th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
I love this! So inspirational just when I needed it
September 23rd, 2012 at 2:41 am
I’m a new reader of this blog. I really like your posts and Thanks for your sharing!
October 22nd, 2012 at 9:04 am
I really like this site - every article… Every time I feel like giving-up for everything happening here in my career in this foreign country, when I am sad, alone and upset… this site is my medicine.
October 22nd, 2012 at 9:05 am
I like this blog… every time I feel like giving-up for everything here in my work this foreign country, when I am sad, alone and upset..this site is my medicine, nice words. thank you.
December 21st, 2012 at 10:50 pm
I appreciate so much of the everything I read on your site. Thank you so much. Your words change lives!
May 13th, 2013 at 5:10 am
I’m dealing with all these issues lately. What advice do you have when the offenders are your in-laws and your spouse won’t stand up to them or admit it’s even happening?
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