post written by: Marc Chernoff
10 Toxic Personalities Living Inside You
Unfortunately we all have unhealthy personalities buried deep within us that have the potential to negatively impact our lives. Although we are all human and have our own ‘personality issues,’ some ‘issues’ are, quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our relationships. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our dreams.
Here are 10 such personalities to look for in yourself, and avoid.
- The negativity committee. – You can never fail in life or love; you just produce results. It’s up to you how you interpret those results. Positive thinking is the ability to feel negative when you have to and still maintain enough hope to keep on going. You cannot tailor-make the situations in life, but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations. You must view your life through a positive lens. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, “What was I thinking?” you must breathe and ask the more encouraging question, “What was I learning?”
- The hoarder of pain and loss. – One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go - whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy – you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go. But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Read You Can Heal Your Life.
- The jealous competitor. – Don’t be jealous of others. Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Stop comparing your journey with everyone else’s. Your journey is YOUR journey, NOT a competition. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. If you want to measure your progress, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
- The mask. – No matter what age, race, sex, or sexuality you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being – each and every one of us are. We each have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in. But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are.
- The superficial judge. – Don’t always judge a person by what they show you. Remember, what you’ve seen is oftentimes only what that person has chosen to show you, or what they were driven to show based on their inner stress and pain. Alas, when another person tries to make you suffer, it is usually because they suffer deep within themselves. Their suffering is simply spilling over. They do not need punishment or ridicule, they need help.
- The busy body. – It is extremely healthy to spend time in solitude. You need to be alone sometimes, to think and relax in a peaceful environment where you are not defined by anyone else. Today, take some time out to take care of yourself. Read The Power of Now.
- The perfectionist. – As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection. We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend, or lover. The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state. Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing. What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow – that perfect house, job, friend, or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection. But with a little patience and an open mind, over time, that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home. That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career. That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on. And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion.
- The cheater. – Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and not an excuse! If you decide to cheat, and you succeed in cheating someone out of something, don’t think that this person is a fool. Realize that this person trusted you much more than you ever deserved. Be bigger than that. Don’t do immoral things simply because you can. Don’t cheat. Be honest with yourself and everyone else. Do the right thing. Integrity is the essence of everything successful. Read The Four Agreements.
- The victim. – Don’t let your dreams waste away on another person’s promise. Stop giving opportunities to people who make you feel inferior and let you down as soon as it’s convenient for them. Saying “no” to the ‘wrong’ people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to ‘right’ people and the ‘right’ opportunities. Stand up for yourself and take charge of your life.
- The procrastinator. – You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step; and the first step to living the life you want is slowly leaving the life you don’t want. Taking this first step is always the hardest. But then each subsequent step gets easier and easier. And with each step you get closer and closer to the life you seek. Until eventually, what had once been invisible, starts to become visible. And what had once felt unattainable, becomes a reality.
Photo by: Bethy