post written by: Marc Chernoff

12 Tough Truths that Help You Grow


10 Tough Truths that Help Us Grow

As you look back on your life, you will often realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from something good, you were in fact being redirected to something better.  You can’t control everything.  Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out.  Let go a little and just let life happen.  Because sometimes the truths you can’t change, end up changing you and helping you grow.

Here are twelve such truths…

  1. Everything is as it should be.  It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn.  Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.
  2. Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self.  Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want.  The second step is leaving the life you don’t want.  Making a big life change is pretty scary.  But you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.  Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare.  Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.  Read Awaken the Giant Within.
  3. It’s usually the deepest pain which empowers you to grow to your full potential.  It’s the scary, stressful choices that end up being the most worthwhile.  Without pain, there would be no change.  But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released.
  4. One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward.  If you catch yourself in a cycle of trying to change someone, or defending yourself against someone who is trying to change you, walk away.  But if you are pursuing a dream, take another step.  And don’t forget that sometimes this step will involve modifying your dream, or planning a new one – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
  5. You have to take care of yourself first.  Before befriending others, you have to be your own friend.  Before correcting others, you have to correct yourself.  Before making others happy, you have to make yourself happy.  It’s not called selfishness, it’s called personal development.  Once you balance yourself, only then can you balance the world around you.  Read Psycho-Cybernetics.
  6. One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you.  As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.  Only when you require no approval from outside yourself, can you own yourself.
  7. You may need to be single for awhile before you realize that, although the co-owned belongings from your failed relationships might not have been divided equally, the issues that destroyed the relationships likely were.  For how can you stand confidently alone, or see the same issues arising in your newest relationship, and not realize which broken pieces belong to you?  Owning your issues, and dealing with them, will make you far happier in the long run, than owning anything else in this world.
  8. The only thing you can absolutely control is how you react to things out of your control.  The more you can adapt to the situations in life, the more powerful your highs will be, and the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows in your life.  Put most simply: being at peace means being in a state of complete acceptance of all that is, right here, right now.
  9. Some people will lie to you.  Remember, an honest enemy is better than a friend who lies.  Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do.  Their actions will show you the truth, which will help you measure the true quality of your relationship in the long-term.
  10. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.  If you are thankful for what you do have, you will end up having even more.  Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul.  Abundance is not about how much you have, it’s how you feel about what you have.  When you take things for granted, your happiness gets taken away.  Read The Happiness Project.
  11. Yes, you have failed in the past.  But don’t judge yourself by your past, you don’t live there anymore.  Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you won’t be there someday.  You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.
  12. Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually.  There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.  And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.  Sure the sun stops shining sometimes, and you may get a huge thunderstorm or two, but eventually the sun will come out to shine.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of us staying as positive as possible in order to make it to see the sunshine break through the clouds again.

Photo by: Martin Gommel

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106 Comments

  • Such wisdom… Where were you guys when I was 21 years old?!? =)

  • Number 5 is my new life motto! Thank you both for showing me the way.

  • On point! This is one of your better posts. They’re all good, but I think this one is great. Thank you.

  • Such a lovely article! I found your blog only 2 days ago and since the I have been reading the archives. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us!

    bittersweetsmoke.blogspot.com

  • This post is exactly what I needed today. I always take away at least one lesson from your posts, but todays… WOW..many lessons here . Thanks !

  • Thanks for another great post. As inspiring as always.

  • Amazing wisdom, everything you send out has such depth, I can really relate to # 3 & 9. An excellent post, thank you.

  • With thanks to you and The Universe!

  • I love #5. Just exactly the way I have wanted to describe my relationships with people.

  • For over 2 months I’ve been subscribed to your news letters, they have been such an inspiration to me with practical clear information I’ve shared them with my friends in Israel, Morocco, and India where they study diverse spiritual practices. We all LOVE your body of work, bless you and thank you.

  • Thank you sooo much!!! ^_^
    You’ve made my Friday even happier!!! :)

    #1) “Everything is as it should be.”
    #2) “Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self.”
    #4) “One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward.”
    #12) “Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually. “

  • This just opened up the heavens for me, thank you. I can see #6 is what I still need to work through.

  • Great insight and exactly what I needed to read this morning. Thank you.

  • As a parent these are the things I want my children to know, but I do not communicate well enough to convey this topic of information to them. Life information coming from a parent is an obstacle in and of its self so I send it in a link electronically (their language). I know they read it because they say “oh dad what are you sending us that stuff for”. Hack and Angel gets full credit and I think they have signed up from the link without admitting it to their father. The third party subject catalyst every parent and child needs. Thank you.

  • Wow - this could not have been posted on a better day….I really needed to read all of this today! Thanks for helping me think positive! :)

  • So inspiring… Your posts are always great, but this is more then a simple post, a real life tutorial :)

  • WOW….. I love this website and all of the knowledge it brings. This entire article is a “must save and read often” even when things are spectacular, this is a great reminder.

    Thank you! <3

  • Thank you so much for your wonderful words of wisdom which provoke much thought. Very positive and uplifting ..Thanks.

  • Reading your blogs make me strong. I don’t have everything, but I do have enough, and I’m very thankful for that.
    Thank you so much!

  • What an insightful article. I have been following lately #2 & # 3, I have started living a life the way I wanted to. Keep up the good work.

  • thanks! I am in a “waiting for/all what I can do has been done” kind of situation. What can I do? to stay as positive as possible! #12 is precious reminder today

  • Thanks for your blog. I often share links to your articles with families fighting brain cancer on twitter using #BrainTumorThursday tag.

  • Yeah, I’m in agreement about number 5 being a new life motto for me! Time to start taking care of ME for a change.

  • Words can’t describe how I feel after reading a post from you guys. Just the right thing, at just the right time.

  • Hey,
    Great post.. #7; being single, this was an eye opener
    For me this 3 1/2 year phase shifted me from a powerless girl looking for a knight to a powerful woman truly happy with the love in her life.. Facing the fear of being physically alone for an extended time, is the ultimate challenge to discover how truly capable you are and the you deserve an equal partner who owns their power in life and doesn’t take from you !!!

  • Man, i needed this
    thank you =)

  • I especially like #12 and it reminds me of a common phrase used in my favorite movie of the year: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

    And, it is: Everything will be all right in the end. If everything isn’t all right, then it’s not the end.

  • Love it! Very wise words. I’m still working on #6. lol

  • Great post Marc. If the journey was always easy there would be little learning and growth. It’s also important to treasure and learn from the good time. We won’t be done until we’re gone.

  • Rock on! So many of your article strike a chord with me. This one was one of my recent favorites.

  • I am so glad I stumbled on to this blog. You have been slowly saving my life… It’s going to be alright eventually - I have copied and paste #12 and am walking around with it in my hand. Thank you… everything is going to be alright, not today… eventually.

  • This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you =)

  • I’ve been going through a rough patch for the past few weeks and this post felt like it was for me specifically. I came across this blog recently and I’ve really enjoyed reading through some of the older posts. This would have been great to have known about months ago for me but it’s help me thus far. Thanks for taking the time and effort to put this together.

  • Wow!! Each one of these 12 items touched me in some way!

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  • The right words at the right time, for sure. Thanks for every bit of help you’ve given me these past two years.

  • Hi marc,
    I read all your articles and truly appreciate all of them. But I have a problem, I really do want to change myself but as soon as I shut down the webpage the desire to change myself and the motivation fades. Can you please suggest me what should I do? I am in a big life crisis and would really appreciate your help.
    Thank you.

  • edgar i. santos
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:57 am

    My day never feels complete until I read an article on your inspirational blog. Thank you.

  • When I was going thru my downs last year I read one of your posts for the 1st time. Today it has been almost a full year and I still love u guys. In a way your blog has touched my soul. Thank You

  • This was so great to read… keep on with the wise words :)

  • I have been going thru some very hard times. I found your site today and have been reading it all day long off and on, and I feel so much better. I can’t believe it, you two are very special and the help I have received here has bought me peace for today .Thank you Marc and Angel so much.

  • You guys are so refreshing. I love reading your posts. The way you articulate these thoughts just resonates so well with me. Thanks:)

  • How did you know that this is exactly what I needed to hear today? Thank you!

  • Wise words. And they came at a good time for me too. Thanks.

  • “Everything is as it should be” –> If this is a statement that needs to be literally interpreted, it shouldn’t be for the pessimist.

  • Marc And Angel–This Blog Is All Great,However #10 And #12 Are So True,Thank You For All Of Your Words Of Wisdom!

  • I have to say that #1 is number one for a reason. In a simple world a profound truth is an unquestionable truth. But this is a profound truth for the real world. It raises questions. We resist it. We deny it. The principle that “all is as it should be” is as tough a message as they come. It doesn’t mean that we aren’t supposed to change things. It doesn’t mean that things aren’t broken. It means that the broken things and the things that need changing are our blessings in disguise. The world is as it should be — sometimes because we are the exact people who are given the task to change it.

  • I think number 1 is already a complete package! everything is as it should be. So no need worry or upset! what a great point. thanks

  • Keep on moving with dream followed by carefully planned activity reflecting learning and reality will certainly help. Thanks for useful tips.

  • Thank you so much ! this amazing ! Keep up the good work. i always read your posts, very uplifting <3

  • The one about being your own best friend first. That’s a good one. That is the one to live by, foremost.

  • So true. Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.

  • Great post.

  • This is powerful and true. Thank you.

  • Thanks for sharing. They are all so true :)

  • Great advice I agree that if you concentrate on what you dont have you will never have enough and always be unhappy. Yet as clear as this is we do live in a shallow world where everything points to the opposite.

  • I love all 12 truths!! Definitely needed this, thanks for sharing.

  • Loved this! Such an inspiring read.

  • Thanks for sharing,
    I love all the thoughts..!!!

  • point #1 is the real deal.

  • Fortunately I have lived long enough to know most of these from experience. I am not where I thought I would be, but it is the right place. However, the past and our mistakes are not so easily forgotten. The hardest thing of all is to forgive oneself for stupid and hurtful things done in the past. I have not yet found this answer.

  • In the past 8 months I have had my whole life destroyed. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually decimated. Through the help of a dear friend I have been making my way back. Her help was stupendous. My efforts were helping a bit and then I Stumbled across you article. It now resides on my desk, my wall and in my bathroom (Sorry for the TMI.) But I reread this daily. and have forwarded it to as many friends (I only have a few.) as possible. Thank you from those of us that do not know when to put the shovel down from digging a hole for ourselves. From myself, my dearest friend Cat and our Higher Power, Thank you. Hugs.

  • Hi,

    what an inspiring post. Every single piece of advice is a gem in itself. These truths should be taught in school. I especially agree with the pain thing: We learn and grow from it, but eventually it needs to be released.

    Thanks for sharing your insights.

    Take care

    Oliver

  • I tend to by cynical when I see post titles like this one, but you guys really nailed it here. I particularly like 5 and 8. They are related, and when we find someone who is lying to us, it is important to remember to take care of ourselves by removing their influence from our lives.

  • Wonderful points. I love the number 5 especially.

  • Love truth #1 - Everything is as it should be…understanding that truth has gotten me farther in my personal growth than anything else I can think of. It helps you stop the why’s and what if’s and focus on moving forward with what life has given you. Kudos on the great words!

  • Thank you for this motivation.

  • point 3 is the real deal.

  • One of my best discoveries online is this site - Thank u !!

  • Number 12 just gives me strength to continue on with my life…Everything is going to be OK, if not today but eventually…Just keep fighting…Love it. Thank you for such wonderful thoughts <3

  • Wow guys I’m out of words to say… this is all I needed. I was going through a rough time in finding someone who will love and accept me as I am but now I know just what to do… thanks a lot.

  • I really enjoyed reading through this article and soaking up all of the great information. Thank you for the wise words and god bless.

  • Wonderful! Excellent motivation. Thank you.

  • If everyone knew, felt, and appreciated these truths the world would be a much better place. Anyhow great post, and I’m glad there is this kind of positive guidance in the world.

    Take Care

  • Thank you for your post, and for reminding me that everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually.

  • I don’t want to risk my life anymore. I have made this mistake many times before, so I am trying so hard to change my lifestyle. Now I am trying to avoid bad habits like smoking, drinking, bad relationships. The truth that is not easy, you know, leaving the life that you don want from one day to other. But I know it’s worth the struggle.

  • Sometimes the world seems full of people wanting to push you in the wrong direction, so its nice to read something that tells life the way it should be told. Best thing I’ve read on the net for ages. Thanks guys.

  • Thanks for the post, chaps.

    Just what I needed to read as I am in the final stages of changing a relationship dramatically by leaving a marriage.

  • Aww, this one is great. I can relate to a lot of these points. Thanks for posting it. I feel lot better now.

  • Wow… just, WOW! I so needed to read this today. Thank you.

  • This post makes so many things make sense now. It really helped me.

  • I’m a 17 year old senior going crazy from school work. Randomly bumping into this really made my day :).

  • This was insightful. Thanks for sharing.

  • So glad I discovered your website. Just when I need it most your blogs help to redirect my perspective to the wonderful life I have. Thank you.

  • Thank you and thank you a thousand times. Am lifted right now. I feel reborn.

  • Truly inspirational. The irony is I stumbled onto this website by accident the other day. Now I’m glad I did.

  • Ryan,
    Perhaps there are no accidents. The Universe has given you a gift at the right time for you to hear it.
    Donna

  • What an amazing piece of work!! Very inspiring and very captivating! Keep up this amazing work :)

  • <3

  • I’m really glad I stumbled upon this article today. After a day filled with nothing but frustration, this is something I need to read to uplift my self. Thank you!

  • A very nice post that put me in a positive mood.

  • I like point 4, when to quit one thing and move on to something else. It’s true, we can do anything we want, but not everything at the same time.

    Several really great tips and wisdom anyone can live by….glad I stumbled across this site. Going to look around at your other posts.

  • Certainly there are things outside of our control. If we stay positive, there are more chances to find the answer to our problems.

  • Inspiring article! I absolutely gonna add this site on my favorites list!

  • Number 7 resonates. Its true you may need to be single a while especially after a divorce. One year is a rule of thumb. It’s incredible how much you will learn and re-learn about yourself after one year of being alone. Do this and the less baggage you carry into a new relationship.

  • This was the most informative and inspiring article I’ve read in a long time. So many truths, especially #4. I am a student, and I was trapped between going back to a boring job or taking time off to pursue my dreams and ambitions for several months. So I took a step forward. In the past week, I’ve started a blog, signed up to learn to row, registered for my personal training certificate and booked a flight to Vietnam.

    I really love this post and I love what you two are doing.

    I look forward to reading more! Definitely adding this to my Follow list.

  • All 12 are true, beautiful. :)

  • Facing all twelve is what it’s all about.

  • Do you really believe this? I’m only asking because, as a recent college graduate (underemployed for the past two years) I am trying to understand how it is possible that everything is as it should be and everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually. I mean, generally, my life has showed that that is the case, but right now things just seem hopeless, no matter how many interviews I have held and it seems that nobody is giving me the chance of the time of day. Any thoughts? Or advice. I mean people keep telling me that I will get a job. It might not be what I want, but it will be a job. And people keep saying my time will come; but I have student debt–so I’m not sure what to make of this.

  • Number 1 is my life motto! Thank you both :)

  • L O V E !

  • Highly Prolific! All of us have become so busy and don’t have the time to formulate these thoughts anymore. That is a red light. Thanks for refueling inspiration and true cognitive intelligence; or simple common sense.

    DB

  • Again, totally needed your advice and this at this exact moment.

  • Eye opening post… seriously! Bless you people. You are both doing a great job… Love.

  • Such a beautiful and inspirational article it is. :) Very useful me right now. Thank you million times Marc. :) God bless u…

  • Great, #2 is so true

  • My name is Kevin and I am an Alcoholic. Its good to be here, the truth is, its good to be anywhere and be clean and sober. THAT’S THE TRUTH.

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