Oftentimes letting go has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We let go and walk away not because we want the universe to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.
And that’s what this short article is all about – realizing your worth, and harnessing this realization to identify the negative ideas, habits, and people in your life that you need to let go of. Here are some points to consider:
- The past can steal your present if you let it. – You can spend days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in the darkness, over-analyzing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could have or should have happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor behind you and walk outside into the sunlight to get some fresh air.
- Not everyone, and not everything, is meant to stay. – There are things you don’t want to happen, but have to accept, things you don’t want to know, but have to learn, and people you can’t live without but have to let go. Some circumstances and people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them. Read The Language of Letting Go.
- Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. – Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.
- Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest. – Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment. And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.” Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes. Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.
- You are in control of one person, and one person only: yourself. – There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of your control. Letting go in your relationships doesn’t always mean that you don’t care about people anymore; it’s simply realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.
- What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa. – Think for yourself, and allow others the privilege of doing so too. We all dance to the beat of a different drum. There are few absolute ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ in the world. You need to live your life your way – the way that’s right for you. Read The Road Less Traveled.
- Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are. – Always choose to be true to yourself, even at the risk of incurring ridicule from others, rather than being fake and incurring the pain and confusion of trying to be someone you’re not. When you are comfortable in your skin, not everyone in this world will like you, and that’s okay. You could be the ripest, juiciest apple in the world, and there’s going to be someone out there who hates apples.
- Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth. – When there is breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation. It may not be pretty and it may not feel good. But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open up. When you build relationships based on truth and authenticity, rather than masks, false perfection, and being phony, your relationships will heal, connect, and thrive.
- The world changes when you change. – Practice really seeing whatever it is you’re looking at. You are today where your thoughts and perceptions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and perceptions take you. If you truly want to change your life, you must first change your mind. The world around you changes when you change.
- You can make decisions, or you can make excuses. – Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving. A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it. Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
- It usually takes just a few negative remarks to kill a person’s dream. – Don’t kill people’s dreams with negative words, and don’t put up with those who do. Don’t let people interrupt you and tell you that you can’t do something. If you have a dream that you’re passionate about, you must protect it. When others can’t do something themselves, they’re going to tell you that you can’t do it either; and that’s a lie. These people are simply speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.
- Sometimes walking away is the only way to win. – Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you. In other words, don’t define your intelligence by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This needless nonsense is not worth my time.”
Photo by: Lumatic
Thank you for this. A year ago, I moved from WI to MI to marry the greatest guy ever…after 40 years in my hometown with my close-knit family only minutes away. Though I love my husband, I was very homesick and lonely for the people and places I’d known all my life, and really needed the support, humor and encouragement of my family as I adjusted. I spoke about every other week with my mother or a close uncle (no one else) for a few months, but after that the whole family almost completely blew me off – if I didn’t contact them, they wouldn’t contact me. It’s like I died. Even my own mother acts like I’m just a casual friend and not her daughter. I cannot even begin to describe the heartache and confusion their detachment has caused me. Recently, I had a weird little epiphany…and the homesickness seems to finally be fading and I’m so much happier now.
ANYWAY, your “12 Things” are pretty much the conclusions I had reached, so this made me smile, if a bit ruefully. I still love my family, and will stay in contact as I can, but I love myself and my husband more and realize now that my happiness can’t be dependent upon their attentions.
Patty McGill says
I’m struggling with making this same type of move. I think i will be left as well. Thank you for your encouraging words.
Avdhessh Arya says
I don’t have words. All I could I say for this insightful article is “Wonderful”.
This perfectly describes some of my struggles. Thank you for for sharing this. I have lived my whole life feeling unhappy. It is like God made you to open a whole new world for me. With this, I really feel at peace. Thanks once again.
Just googled that ‘Im sad that I’m ready to let go’ – this article is really nice – broke up from a six year relationship – we’re still good friends and I do still love the guy, but it wasnt working – I know I’m better off, and we’re in different countries. I’m just starting to be interested in seeing someone else, but that makes me feel both guilty and sad.
Sometimes you know the truth, but just need to read it in words spelled in such a way to make it hit you.
You are of great help!
Thank you. Thank you. Wow, I stumbled upon this at just the right time. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this. Reading these words today saved my life.
carolyn Reid says
Very beautiful words of wisdom and also very painful
Wow, this is so beautiful and just everything that i needed to hear.. or read. I love number 5 and especially number 11. It’s sad how the people that bring you down are sometimes your own family. Breaks my heart. Life just isn’t so great right now, but i guess that calls for a change. So maybe what i need to do is number 9 and a change so beyond my wildest dreams shall happen. And that will all happen because of you. Because you wrote this. Thank you so much for the wonderful words. This is truly amazing and life changing.
This really hit home for me. Reading through the comments I realize that so many on any given day are experiencing heartache. I had an unexpected break up via text on New Years Eve. We were only together for 5 months but I really thought he was the one for me. I bookmarked this article and will keep reading it as a reminder.
I have only just found this website, and it has come at a perfect time! I’m getting over a break up to which I let him in completely and showed my true self! I’m feeling very exposed at the moment! Finding it hard to stay focused but these words are really helping! The day is either good or bad but you have given me hope that things will get better! Thank you for your amazing words!
my best friend,mom says
Losing my mom to people in my family who cared more about getting 500.00 from her then caring about her health and well being, has hurt me to the core. How does someone put more value on money then on their own mother? I don’t understand why only that they are greedy, evil people.
“You could be the ripest, juiciest apple in the world, and there’s going to be someone out there who hates apples.” – This quote is gold!!! I actually reposted it w/ a link to this site on my FB page b/c it resonates so much with me – thank you!
# 11 – Very simple solution to this – don’t share your dreams with everyone! Be very selective on who you let be privy to your private thoughts, dreams and goals. I learned this the hard way, as most people probably do. Now, when I know I have a good idea or motivation, I only share with people I can trust will be supportive or nonjudgmental about it. People who are happy to sprinkle some water on my garden, not trample it.
#12 – I had spent most of my life trying to convince my own parents that I was not this horrible person they insist on making me out to be. It was exhausting, made me paranoid, insecure, doubtful of my own judgment – the list goes on and on. I mean, they are my parents after all – I wanted their approval. Then one day I thought to myself – Hey! Wait a minute! These people are my PARENTS ater all – shouldn’t they already know ME? Shouldn’t they love & accept me just because I am their child? From then on, I stopped worrying, stopped caring, had to ‘walk away’. It still gets to me from time to time when they speak to me like another person is standing in front of them, but I give them less and less opportunity to do so, and now I just do my own thing. Suddenly its as if I can breathe…
Just initiated a breakup of a 6 year relationship over constant and unexpected displays of temper tantrums and 3 day silences meant to punish me for stupid things and teach me a lesson. If my ex was a reader he would understand and appreciate the beauty, truth and wisdom in these posts, as do I. I’m looking forward to receiving your emails.