post written by: Marc Chernoff
12 Negative Thoughts Holding You Back
We are addicted to our thoughts.
We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.
Your thoughts today create your life tomorrow. Here are twelve destructive thoughts to flush out of your mind.
- “My past is indicative of my future.” – Do not judge failed attempts and mistakes as an indication of your future potential, but as part of the growth process. Something does not have to end well for it to have been one of the most valuable experiences of a lifetime. When times get tough, take a deep breath. Know that most great things come when you least expect it. Keep working on YOU and it will work itself out. Being defeated is a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.
- “I care what they think of me.” – Ignore the rude people who talk about you behind your back. That’s exactly where they belong, behind your back. Being strong doesn’t mean you always have to fight the battle. True strength is being wise enough to walk away from the nonsense with your head held high. Read The Four Agreements.
- “I’ll do what makes me happy someday.” – Sometimes in your quest to make everyone else happy, you make yourself miserable. Remember, today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you will ever be again. It’s kind of scary, but it’s true. If there was ever a perfect moment to follow your values and pursue your own dreams, that moment is now.
- “I can’t,” “It’s too late,” “I’m not good enough,” etc. – We never know where we will be at the end of our journey. We do, however, know where we are today; and from here we can mine our hope and love to set the course forward. Our attitude shifts our sails and ultimately determines not only our final destination, but more importantly, the voyage and experiences along the way.
- “There’s so much that could go wrong.” – Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start thinking of what could go right. Better yet, think of everything that already is right. Be thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, and past dreams and goals that turned into realities. Use these positive points to fuel an even brighter tomorrow.
- “I will never forgive you.” – It takes a strong heart to love, but it takes an even stronger heart to continue to love after it’s been hurt. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. You are stronger now and better equipped to find the kind of love you deserve. Read You Can Heal Your Life.
- “I don’t like them because they’re broken.” – As you grow you will discover that you were blessed with two great hands – one for helping yourself, and one from helping others. Be someone who builds and nurtures with an understanding and forgiving heart. Be someone who looks for the best in people and leaves them a little stronger than you found them. And always be careful of how you judge people – you can’t sum up a person’s entire existence in one moment.
- “I am too unhappy to make anyone else happy.” – Happiness is a boomerang. When you catch yourself feeling unhappy, doing something small that makes someone else happy, and I guarantee you, when they smile, it will be hard not to smile back.
- “I can’t trust anyone.” – We often keep our hearts closed, not because we don’t trust others not to leave us, let us down, or stop loving us, but because we don’t trust ourselves to survive the pain of them leaving, letting us down, or not loving us anymore. How ironic, considering that only by suffering through these very losses, do we come to realize our true strength. Remember, like a tiny seed, in order to grow, we need to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness, rained on, and forced to struggle slowly to reach the light.
- “Everyone else is doing it, so it must be right.” – Live YOUR life. Never hide who you are. The only shame is to have shame. Stand up for what you believe in. Question what other people tell you when it doesn’t feel right. If you follow the crowd, you will go no further than the crowd. But if you walk alone, follow your gut, and carve your own path, you will likely find yourself in places no one has ever been before.
- “It will never get better.” / “It will never get worse.” – This too shall pass. When life is rough, remember, it won’t always be this way. So take one day at a time. And when life is great, remember, it won’t always be this way. So appreciate every great moment. Read The Power of Now.
- “I don’t have time to dream.” – The real tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your dream; it lies in having no dream to reach. Devote yourself to an idea you believe in. Follow your gut. Overcome your fears. Work on it. Struggle with it. Smile about it. Make it happen. This is your life and your dream – no one else’s. And remember, you don’t have to see the whole staircase; you just have to take one step at a time.
Photo by: Meredith Farmer